Chapter Six

T his whole not knowing the time of day thing is getting old fast. I can't rely on my body to tell me if it's day or night outside. It is very disorienting.

It doesn't help that Kado leaves for hours at a time, leaving me by myself to figure out how to fill my day. I've already read three of his books. I'm tired of reading. I'm not used to doing it so much.

Kado was gone again when I woke up from my sleep. After he brushed my hair, I hid in the room until I fell asleep. If he checked on me at all, I have no idea. I fell into a deep sleep again. It seems my body is using this situation as a way to catch up on the sleep I've deprived it of for years.

I don't understand it, though. How could my body pull me under so deeply, knowing that we are in a place where we aren't really safe?

I'm so lost in my thoughts that the knock on the bedroom door startles me. I didn't even hear him moving about outside the room.

Not wanting him to leave me alone again, I rush to the door.

He seems surprised when I open it quickly.

"Hey," I mutter, feeling like a fool.

Not even two days, at least from what I can tell, and I'm already craving any interaction, even if it's with my captor.

I guess this is how Stockholm syndrome starts. Belle is making so much more sense to me now. Although she loves reading. I like it, but I couldn't spend all day everyday doing it.

I need more activity than this.

Kado moves in front of me, handing me a shopping bag. Opening it, I look inside and find several hair brushes along with barrettes, hair ties, headbands, and more.

"For me?" I ask, looking up at him.

He looks a bit shy. When he's like this, I almost forget that he killed a man. That he could kill me.

He nods.

I manage a small smile. "Thank you."

He smiles. He seems so proud of himself for doing it. I mean, he did go overboard, but he listened.

After a moment of staring at one another, he points to himself, then mimes eating.

"You're going to eat?" I ask.

He nods, but then points at me and down the hall.

"Are you asking me to join you while you eat?"

He nods enthusiastically.

"One second." I hold up one finger before turning and putting the bag of stuff down on the bed.

When I glance back, he is watching me, but it doesn't feel creepy. It feels like he is being patient with me.

"Okay," I tell him, indicating that he should lead. "I'm ready." I smile a little as he walks in front of me.

That was kind of sweet. He wants to have food with me? I should ask him what time it is. Maybe then I can start paying attention.

When we get to the table, he motions for me to sit down. I do as he asks, watching him as he moves around the kitchen.

He doesn't make anything fancy. Only some of those instant noodles, but it's still nice of him anyway. He could be making me do everything for him. I'm at his mercy.

Instead, he is taking care of me. It's endearing.

Stop it, Luce. You can't keep thinking about him like this. He's your captor.

I wonder if internal pep talks worked with Belle. They aren't working for me.

I thought I would be able to hold out longer. To put up more of a fight. Yet here I am, starved for human interaction, and it's only day two. I'm pathetic.

Kado comes over, placing the bowl in front of me before taking his seat.

I take a small bite, smiling at him. "It's good. Thank you."

He beams at me.

Making this guy happy seems very easy. Maybe I can earn some outside privileges. Or a clock. Something.

I continue to eat silently, thinking about things I miss. I'm so lost in thought that when he touches my arm, I jump, hitting the table and making everything shake for a few seconds.

"Sorry," I tell him, looking over at him.

He mimes talking with his hand, then points at me.

"You want me to talk?"

He nods.

"About what?"

He points at me again.

I suppose it is natural for him to want to know more about me. My life isn't all that interesting, though.

"There's not much to say. I'm twenty-two. I work full time as a maid. Or at least, I used to. I probably lost all my contracts now. I live in a shitty apartment on the shitty side of town. Honestly, my life is pretty shitty," I admit, sobering at the thought.

I guess I never thought about it at the time, but now that I sit back and examine my life, I haven't done anything with it. I'm just existing. It's a pity.

I would have liked to have done things. Made real friends. Dated. Travel a bit.

None of that ever crossed my mind, though, because I was struggling so hard I couldn't see past the present.

Now all I have is the past.

He taps my arm again. He looks sad as he rolls his hand, motioning for more.

I sigh. "Listen, I fought for the right to go home with your boss." I purposely don't use his name. "But the truth is, I didn't do much. I worked and went home. I didn't really have any hobbies other than sleep. I worked more than I was home. I basically paid rent for a place to store my things. Not much of a home, eh?"

I look up at him. I know there's gotta be sorrow in my eyes. I can feel the emotions rising in me again. Maybe I need another good cry.

He reaches out, taking my hand. Then he points to me and the floor.

"I'm here. I know."

He shakes his head and does it again. I tilt my head, still not sure what he is trying to say.

Then he pulls out his notebook, writing one word.

Home.

He points to me, then the word.

"I'm home? This is my home?"

He nods again.

I force a smile for his benefit. He's right. This is my home now, but this isn't much of a home either. Maybe I just traded one lonely existence for another.

Either way, I won't hurt his feelings by refuting him.

So instead, I say, "Thank you," before going back to my food.

I wish I knew how to make things better for her. Hearing Lucy say how her life was before hurt my heart. I rarely experience feelings, but with this girl, I am already feeling them all.

Then she looked at me with those sad eyes, and all I wanted to do was hold her to me. I want to make everything better for her. I wish she would let me.

She's done talking now. Even I can tell that with my limited social interactions. Still, I watch her as she finishes her food.

Much too quickly, she pushes the bowl away.

"Can I go to bed now?" Her eyes are dull now as she stares at me.

Taking my pen, I write out my response.

You don't have to ask permission.

"Oh. I wasn't sure how this was going to work. Leave the dishes, and I will do them later. Good night, Kado."

I watch as she leaves the room. I wish I could follow her.

Waiting a few minutes, praying for her to come back, I stay seated at the table. It's not until I'm sure she isn't coming back that I get up and do the dishes.

I thought having her here would give me the companionship that Miya and Cleo provide their men.

Maybe I have it all wrong.

I thought that as long as I could get her to want friendship with me, everything would be okay. I understand if she doesn't want to be intimate with me. I wouldn't know what to do, even if she wanted to go there. I'd embarrass myself and scare her off. I really thought she might at least be willing to be platonic, though.

I was wrong.

After finishing the dishes, I go down the hall and knock on her door. When she opens it, she gives me a sad smile.

I try my best to ask her if she is okay with my hands. She must understand because she responds.

"I'm fine. I think I need to be alone for a little bit."

I point to myself and down the hall.

"I know, big guy. You'll be down the hall."

Then she shuts the door.

I hate it. I hate that she shuts herself in and isolates from me. It's not good for her.

Slowly, I feel that familiar itch under my skin. It's the one that tells me I'm getting too anxious. That I am going to lose it soon.

Pacing a few times, I decide I need to go. If I stay here, I'm going to be too tempted to bother her again.

I leave her a note before I go, so she knows I will be back. Then I head out, locking the system down behind me.

Getting behind the wheel of my car, I let out a sigh. Maybe a drive will help me clear my mind.

It's not until I pull up outside that I realize where I subconsciously drove.

It's early morning, but she will be home. I hope she's not mad if I wake her. Still, I get out of the car, making my way up to her door.

Then I knock.

No one answers.

I knock again, harder.

This time, I hear movement on the other side.

The door swings open to reveal a naked Kenji, looking pissed as fuck.

"What the fuck, man? Do you know what time it is?"

I ignore him, pushing past him.

"Sure, come on in. I wasn't busy railing my woman or anything," he spits out.

"Oh, hush," Miya says as she comes into the living room, wearing a robe.

"I almost had you admitting you like butt stuff. No way am I going to not be mad at him."

I don't even want to know what they were getting up to. They can keep their butt stuff to themselves.

"Kenji, I swear to God if you don't get your ass back in that room and keep your trap shut, you will never see my butt again," Miya growls at him.

He walks over to her, kissing her hard, and I look away as they play a little tonsil hockey.

Finally, he pulls back.

"Don't forget who owns this pussy, little one."

Then he leaves us alone.

Miya looks dazed for a moment before she moves to sit on the couch, patting the spot next to her for me.

I take a seat, pulling out my phone, knowing a notebook isn't going to work for this.

"I assume you are here about the girl?" she asks.

When I nod, she continues. "It's not been long, so what has happened?"

Pulling up the notepad on my encrypted phone, I type out everything that happened tonight.

Miya frowns as she reads it. Then she thinks for a moment, staring at the wall.

"She chose you, Kado, but she didn't really. You gave her three really shitty options, and she took the best one. She isn't going to warm up to you overnight. She might not at all. From what it sounds like, she is a survivor. You need to decide what's more important to you: her happiness or keeping her. Sometimes, they are not one and the same."

It's not the answer I want, but it's an honest one. I went about this all wrong. I saw her there and thought it was fate. I should have tried to meet her in real life and find a way in that way. I fucked it all up.

What do I do now? I type.

She hums for a moment.

"You give her space and treat her like a human being. I get that you can't let her go. It would be too dangerous. You need to make her love her cage and understand that she might not want anything with you, and that needs to be okay. If you truly care about her, then her happiness should be all that matters." Miya pats my knee. "Do you understand?"

I understand completely. By taking away her freedom, I may have ruined any chance that she could see me as more than her warden. It's depressing, but at least having her with me means she will be okay. She won't have to struggle to afford a place to stay or food.

I will make sure she has everything she needs, even if it means she doesn't need me.

Thank you.

Miya smiles. "Anytime. Now go home. Be there for her if she needs anything. Let me know when she is more accepting of company."

I nod before standing. She escorts me to the door.

As I step outside, she says, "Hey, Kado? You are welcome here anytime. Ignore Kenji."

I smile at her over my shoulder before heading toward my car.

I just need to be patient with anata . I thought I was, but maybe I need to be better.

It'll be hard, but I'll do anything for her.