Chapter Twenty-One

M usic plays as I clean up my mess. The place smells like the chocolate peanut butter cookies I have in the oven, and I can't wait to try them when they come out.

Quietly, I sing under my breath about an electric kind of love. Kado comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist. He kisses the crease between my shoulder and neck and sways to the music with me. I close my eyes and savor the moment.

God, I love him.

I suck in a breath as the thought hits me full force like a Mack Truck. I've been playing over the idea of being in love with him since my lunch with the girls, but I didn't know if it was real or not. Not that I doubted my feelings for him, but because I don't know what love feels or looks like.

Loving Kado is easy. I love his quirks, his seriousness, and his desire to please. I love our quiet time together when he's just playing with my hair, and I love it when we are out on a job, waiting to take down the bad guys. To put it simply, I love the life we are building together, and I can't imagine doing it with anyone else.

Kado, touching my stomach pulls me out of my thoughts.

"What?" I ask, shaking my head.

He draws a question mark on my stomach and then points to the oven, the beeping sound finally registering.

Shit, how long has that been going off? I was so consumed with the realization that I love him that I didn't even notice the timer going off on the oven. Pulling out of his hold, I grab the oven mitt and grab the tray of cookies out of the oven.

They are a pretty golden brown and all different shapes.

Hmm, I need to find the best way to put them on the sheet to make them the perfect circle shape, or figure out how to fix them while they are still warm.

That's a problem for next time. Why did it look so easy when it's clearly not? Then again, does shape really matter when no one but us will see them?

I hear the fridge open and shut behind me. Peeking over my shoulder, I watch as Kado pours two glasses of milk. He looks so excited to try them that I forget all about their funky shapes.

"You know these need to cool down a little, right? Otherwise, you'll burn your mouth," I tease.

He shoots me a look that tells me he doesn't care and wants the cookies. Laughing, I carefully plate some. With the plate in hand, I follow Kado into the living room, and we sit down next to each other on the couch. Kado sets down both glasses on the coffee table and goes for a cookie as soon as the plate touches the table, making me laugh.

I watch as he takes a bite, hoping he gives me some indication that they are good. I want him to love them. My smile grows when he finishes the first quickly and then goes for seconds and thirds. I can't help but smile. Thank God. They might be ugly, but they clearly taste good if he's eating them that fast.

"Save some for me," I tease as I lean forward, grabbing a cookie.

While he shoves the rest of a cookie into his mouth, I take a small bite. I'm not big on cookies, but I know he likes them. As soon as the flavors hit my mouth, I gag. Instinctively, I spit it out into my hand. I drop the mushy cookie in my hand onto the plate, wishing I had grabbed a napkin before I left the kitchen.

"Oh my god, Kado! Why are you eating those? They are horrible!" I cry out as I smack another cookie from his hand.

He pouts as he looks at the plate with longing.

I know his taste buds before me were questionable with all the processed foods he ate, but surely they aren't that bad.

It finally clicks that he's never had a problem telling me he doesn't like something before, so he's clearly eating them to not hurt my feelings.

"Those are awful," I groan, rolling my head back onto the back of the couch.

The worst part is I don't even know where I messed up, but clearly I grabbed the wrong ingredient at some point in the mixing process.

Kado shifts next to me, and I notice he pulls out his phone. Closing my eyes, I wait for him to type whatever it is he wants to tell me. He taps on my leg when he's done, and I open my eyes.

Taking the phone from him, I take a deep breath and start to read.

I ate them because you made them. You don't like cookies, so you made them just for me when you didn't have to. No one has done that since my mother died. By eating them, I was showing my appreciation.

My heart skips a beat as I read his words. Really, who could be mad when you hear that reasoning? My eyes keep going back to one word, though.

His mother.

"You've never mentioned her before. Can you tell me about her?"

Kado shifts on the couch, his hands clenching on his knees as he frowns.

I shake my head as I set his phone down between us. "Never mind, you don't have to. I'm sorry for asking."

He places a hand on my leg, making me freeze. I look back over at him and see a look of determination cross his face as he picks up his phone and starts typing. I don't know what he's about to tell me, but something tells me that I'm not going to love what he has to say.

I want to save us both the pain about our pasts, but sometimes the hard conversations have to happen for us to move forward, and I think this might just be our moment.

I reread everything I typed and make sure it's all there in detail from the time I was a child until now. Reluctantly, I hand her my phone and wait. The words are replaying in my mind as she reads them.

When I was a small child, my father left. My mother was sad, but I was happier with him gone. We didn't have much, but it was clear she loved me. She went out of her way to make me laugh and always made sure we had a fresh batch of cookies. It was important to her that I learned English, but she also wanted me to know about our culture and be able to speak Japanese.

Then one night, she tucked me in and read me a bedtime story. She kissed my forehead and told me she would see me in the morning. When I woke up, I noticed it was later than normal. I called out her name as I looked for her, but she never responded. I thought she was mad at me for sleeping in. Then I found her lying in a puddle of blood. I almost slipped trying to get to her. At first, I thought she was playing a game to punish me for waking up late. Then I realized she was gone, but I kept shouting her name louder and louder as I cried, holding her.

A neighbor found me and cleaned me up. I don't know what exactly happened next, but I ended up with Kai's father. He promised he would help me get my revenge. He took me under his wing and trained me. Then when it was time, he stood by me when I took my first kill, the man who killed my mother.

He gave me a purpose and taught me loyalty while putting a roof over my head. What he didn't realize is that my loyalty was not to him but to his son. Kai and I bonded over what we went through with his father, and that is how I became what I am.

"You damaged your vocal cords as you cried for her, didn't you?" Lucy asks with tears in her voice, startling me.

I give her a firm nod.

Like always, Lucy catches me off guard and crawls into my lap, wrapping her arms around my neck as she buries her face into my shoulder. Her tears wet my shirt as she cries.

I pick up my phone and type a quick message before setting it on her leg.

Don't cry for me.

"I'm crying for the boy who was forced to grow up far sooner than anyone should have to. I'm crying for the boy who lost his only family, but Kado, I'm not crying about how you turned out. I'm glad you got your revenge."

I squeeze her tight as I hold her.

"Is that why you have this place locked down as tight as you do? No windows and massive amounts of security?"

Before it was so no one could surprise me, but now it's all for her.

I want to keep you safe.

Her eyes soften as she reads my message. "And you do such a good job at it."

She leans forward and brushes her lips against mine.

Thank God she understands. The only one who knows the entire story about my childhood is Kai, and now her. It feels good to have someone know me the way he does.

"I should probably tell you about my childhood then, huh?"

I shrug. Do I want to know? Yes, but I can live without knowing if talking about it would cause her pain. Her hurting is the last thing I ever want.

Lucy sighs and then begins talking softly. "I don't remember my parents. I don't know if I had siblings or any other family. According to my case file, I was dropped off at a fire station when I was roughly two in the middle of the night. They took a photo before they helped me clean up, and I was covered in filth and my hair was matted. So clearly, my parents didn't take good care of me, and the best thing they did was leave me there."

She takes a deep breath. "I was put into foster care. They thought that since I was so young, I would be adopted quickly, only that never happened. One family tried when I was a little older, the Quinns. I lived with them for a year and a half. I was so excited to become their daughter, but right before it could go through, they had to back out. He took a job overseas, and if they would have adopted me, he would have had to turn it down. You can't leave for so long after you adopt. From there, I jumped around from foster home to foster home until I aged out. The day I turned eighteen, I found all my stuff waiting on the curb when I got home from school. I wasn't allowed back into that foster home and was told to figure it out. So I did. I found a sketchy job that I could do at night while I went to school during the day until I graduated. For years before you, I was running on survival mode. I took every odd job I could to keep a roof over my head and food in my stomach. I probably should have put up a bigger fight when you took me and tried to run, but I was just so tired. I knew I couldn't run far enough from you, so I stayed," she says as exhaustion runs through her voice. "But you gave me a place to rest, and while I hated it at first, I desperately needed it. Now, I love what we have here. I know that I'm safe with you, and for the first time in years, I don't have to constantly look over my shoulder because I know you won't let anything hurt me. I feel safe in this place that we call home and know that nothing will get through that big door and get to us because you won't let it. You gave me that, Kado, and for that, I'll always be thankful."

My heart aches as I squeeze her into me. I want to find her birth family and the one who teased her with adoption and kill them. My girl deserves the world, and they let her down.

Yet if she hadn't gone through all of that, would I have found her? Would she be mine right now?

As much as I hate to admit it, I should thank her parents and all the shitty foster parents she had.

Pulling back, I tip her chin to make her look at me. "Thank you," I rasp.

Tears roll down her cheeks as her eyes narrow at me. "No speaking. If you have something to say, type it."

I roll my eyes and pick up my phone, typing with one hand.

I will never let anyone or anything hurt you.

Her eyes soften. "I know, Kado. I know."

I pull her back into my side, rest my lips on her forehead, and make myself a promise. As soon as I help take down this sex trafficking ring, I'll give her the life she deserves. She's earned it, and maybe, just maybe, I have too.