Chapter 6

six

A couple days later, Seth worried he had made a colossal mistake telling her how he felt. He had to follow orders, but Del and Adam had asked his opinion on how to get the teams integrated. He knew that Alpha didn’t completely understand their mission. So he had opened his stupid mouth and suggested this.

Granted, he hadn’t expected Autumn to be the first Team Alpha member to join them. She always seemed to have so much going on. When Adam mentioned it early Monday morning, he had caught Seth by surprise. He thought for sure Marcus would have been the first Alpha member to train with them. If it hadn’t been for some foreign dignitary hitting Oahu in the next twenty-four hours, Marcus would be too busy. His terrorism background helped with any kind of attack that might happen.

Autumn worked hard that he would give her, but she had been right. She had needed to work on her upper body. As he trudged into the bullpen, he realized his body was already vibrating with that strange energy he always seemed to have around her. There was something just off about his feelings towards her. He couldn’t figure it out.

All of the team was there except Autumn. He felt deflated when he noticed she wasn’t in the room.

“Don’t worry, Harry. She’s just talking to Del and Adam about something on that drug bust,” Tamilya said.

He glanced over and saw Autumn talking to her boss and Del, and she did not look happy. The fact that she was here and that she would go out with them had his heart singing. Okay, that was weird. Why would he be that happy about the woman who vexed him every chance she got? The day before, she had messed with his head on purpose while they had been grappling, and he still hadn’t been able to move on from it.

Her frown turned darker as she started arguing with Del about something.

“Hey,” Tamilya said, stepping closer. “Chill out, dude.”

He glanced at his ex-girlfriend. They had dated when both of them had been in a dark place. They put the pieces of their lives back together. Now, they were just good friends.

“What?”

She glanced down at his hands. It was then that he realized he’d curled his fingers into fists. He forced himself to calm down. Again, it was a weird reaction. Autumn Bradford didn’t want or need him fighting her battles. He had never known a woman as independent as Autumn Bradford.

“She’s just pissed there’s another delay in a trial. She’s the arresting officer, and I know she worked her ass off on it. So, let’s talk about your reaction.”

“What?” Seth asked as he walked to his office. He needed a moment away from prying eyes. Tamilya followed him.

After she shut the door—without asking if he had time to chat—she sat in front of his desk.

“What’s going on with you?”

“There’s nothing going on with me.” Lies. He was telling so many lies this week to other people and to himself.

She snorted. “You are wound tighter than when you were on Teams.”

Probably because a woman who smelled like sunshine and temptation wasn’t on his SEAL team. That would have been disastrous. He said nothing as he continued to ignore her. Unfortunately, Tamilya knew him too well.

“Oh…oh!” He looked up. “You have a thing for Autumn.”

“I do not.”

She snorted again. “Yeah, I get it now. Having her on the team while you have the hots for her has got to be hard. In more ways than one.”

Then she giggled at her joke. Of course, it was funny for her. She had her happily ever after, a good man in Marcus. Was she the one getting off to the image of her teammate while in the shower this morning? No. And sadly, it was the hardest orgasm in a vey long time and ultimately unsatisfying. He was worried about the reason for that.

“Fine, I’ll stop messing with you.”

“Thank you.”

“Since I’m not the one you want to mess around with.”

“Like you would want that with Marcus in your life.”

And not for the first time, a goofy smile curved her lips. Yeah, that was getting irritating. Not that she was happy. If someone deserved happiness, it was Tamilya. Simply put, he wanted that for himself. He had never thought about it, but it had been front and center for the last few months.

“And I have a meeting out at Pearl Harbor-Hickam. Marcus is doing some interviews so I’m filling in. Have fun.”

“Sure. Fun.”

She laughed and stepped out of his office, shutting the door behind her. He had work to do before they started their training session, so he pushed aside thoughts of Autumn Bradford and got to work. Of course, life had been handing him grenades lately, so he wasn’t surprised when she knocked at the door and didn’t wait for him to tell her to come in.

Without a word, she shut the door and sat down. She was vibrating with anger.

“Was there something you wanted?”

She hesitated. “I was wondering if I could beg off training today.”

He sat back in his chair and studied her. “Was there something you needed to do?”

“I need not to be near people. That’s what I need.”

It was such a definitive statement as if she was barely holding on to her temper. “Do you want to explain why?”

“No.”

He chuckled, and her eyes narrowed as she stared at him. He held up his hands. “Sorry. I’m not used to having people respond with such blatant animosity.”

“It isn’t animosity. It’s the truth.”

There was something beneath the surface. There always was with Autumn. She hid so much from everyone. Did she hide it from Ian, too? From the man she called her father? It seemed that Autumn hid a little of something from everyone, and that wasn’t good for anyone—especially in a job that had high suicide rates.

“Of course, but no.”

“What?”

“I understand you’re being truthful, but you should train with us today. I assume that’s what Del and Adam told you when you talked to them?”

She crossed her arms beneath her breasts and gave him a death stare. “No comment.”

He let the moment of silence stretch out as they studied each other. Autumn was vibrating with some kind of energy. He knew part of it was irritation, but she was wound so tight. Seth had a feeling that with one little argument, she would lose her barely controlled anger.

She needed to get out of there, and he needed her not to get her ass in trouble. He didn’t know why, but for some reason, he wanted to protect her from herself.

“Tell you what, I’ll have Rami lead the briefings this morning. Most of it is about Maui, which you don’t need since you lived there at one time. And let’s be honest, very rarely will you go over there to help out. We’ll be working with local law enforcement and the military.”

“Cool story, bro.”

The snark in her voice made him chuckle. Typically, if someone talked to him like that at work, he would smack them down for it. But she was different. She wasn’t in his chain of command, and she made him laugh with that tone.

“We’ll go out.”

“What? Why?”

Was that panic in her voice? “I want to get to know you better for team cohesion. Also, you probably know a few things about the islands, especially Maui, that could help in our training.”

She didn’t say anything for a long moment. “I haven’t been back since I left.”

“I’m trying to give you an out today. Work with me here, Bradford.”

“I don’t want to be around you.”

He would like to say that it didn’t hurt hearing the words, but it did. He knew she was attracted to him but didn’t particularly like him. He had laid out his thoughts the other day, but she hadn’t told him as much as he had told her. “So, it’s me that’s irritating you?”

She sighed. “No. People. I don’t want to be around people.”

That was definitely true from her tone, but Seth knew of one thing that would get her out the door.

“How about we go have a snack—my treat. We don’t have to talk.”

She cocked her head to one side. “What are you up to, SEAL?”

He held his hands up again. “Nothing. Just giving you an option to do this rather than ignore a direct order from your team leader and Del.”

She sighed, and he knew he had won the argument. He didn’t pump his fist, but he wanted to. “Fine, but I expect food. Don’t pull an Ian.”

That guy. He knew she saw him as her brother, but it annoyed Seth when the guy’s name was mentioned. “What’s an Ian ?”

“He lures me out of the office for food, then we end up at his place, and I have to cook.”

“You can cook?”

She held up her finger and wagged it back and forth at him. “Nope. Not falling for it. You have ten minutes, or I’m bailing on my own.”

And then, with that, she left him alone. She was definitely a little more relaxed, knowing that she was getting out of the office. Seth was sure it had more to do with her needing space and less about that case or even him.

One thing was for sure, if he didn’t make it out there in ten minutes, Autumn would leave him. He grabbed his gun and headed out into the bullpen. With a motion with his head, he got Rami to join him.

“I need you to handle the Maui discussion this morning.”

They were set to review some of Maui’s known local gang affiliations.

“Okay, any particular reason?”

“Remember that time you needed a break from training a month back?”

Rami’s PTSD made him hyper-aware. He had it under control most of the time, but he’d had a bad episode last month. Seth had picked up on it and ordered him out of the office. Getting outside could sometimes give Rami relief from his PTSD symptoms.

“Ah, okay.” He leaned closer. “Do you think she has PTSD?”

He had never thought about it before, but going over what little he knew, there was a chance she did.

“Not sure, but the boss ordered her to work with us today. Since we have a briefing, she doesn’t need to go over it with us, so I thought it best to get her out of the office.”

Rami nodded and said nothing. Maybe he was speculating just like the others on the team. Seth wasn’t an idiot. Everyone here was in each other’s business. But he did not want anything to blow back on Autumn.

“Gotcha.”

“You’re in charge.”

He didn’t say anything to anyone else. One thing he liked about TFH is that while it was run like a combat unit in many ways, there was more freedom. Del wouldn’t question where he was. He found her pacing by his SUV. There was something about that pacing, the way her hips swung, and the underlying sensuality to her movements that always got to him. She did a lot of pacing in the common area, her office, and all over the place. She never seemed to be able to hold still.”

“Let’s go. Where do you want to eat?”

She said nothing until they were both in his vehicle. “Let’s go to Anna Miller’s.”

The local place was in Aiea, about twenty to thirty minutes away, depending on the traffic.

“You got it.”

“And I don’t want to talk about things.”

“Fine,” he said, trying to hide his smile. He knew that was a lie. He could be patient.

They were seated by the window with a view of the parking lot. In Hawaii, even parking lots were pretty, in her opinion.

Anna Miller’s was on the top floor of two restaurants. Down below was another of her favorites, Bravo’s. She would cut a bitch if they got in her way of those garlic rolls. They had a view of the morning traffic and the watercress farm.

“What’s good here?”

She looked up from her menu. “You’ve never been here?”

He shook his head. “I’m still checking out places.”

“Ah. Do you like pancakes?”

“Of course, I like pancakes. I’m not a monster.”

She smiled. “I suggest one of their banana Mac nut pancakes. They don’t have them every morning, but they do today, so I suggest those.”

Both of them ordered the pancakes and coffee. Once they were alone, Autumn studied him. “Want to tell me why you sprung me?”

“That’s an odd phrase. I thought you liked work.”

“I do.” She sighed. “Just sometimes, I have to get out. When I’m investigating, that’s easier. What y’all do is a lot of training.”

“Have you ever talked to a therapist?”

She blinked. It was such a sudden topic switch.

“Yep, lots of them. After getting out of Joyous Wave and after a couple of missions while in the DEA, I know what’s wrong with me. I usually have a handle on it, but it’s been a little difficult lately.”

The waitress returned with their coffees. Once they were alone, Seth seemed to wait for her to speak again. Interesting. She liked patience in a man.

“I’ve had some issues since we took down Hank.”

He nodded. “You really didn’t like him.”

Hank Seymour had been in Joseph’s inner circle. All the bad memories intensified when he popped up a few months ago.

“You mean my betrothed?”

He made a face of disgust, and she couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah. Imagine my feelings being sixteen when Joseph said I would marry him within a month. So, yeah, I have issues, and most of the time, they’re under control.”

“But you’ve been stuck with us.”

“I wouldn’t call it that, SEAL. I would call it more of being on someone else’s schedule.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t see the difference.”

She sat back and toyed with her coffee cup. “I bet you have some great childhood memories. Playing with your brothers or just hanging out.”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t. My memories consist of work. Everyone had a job at Joyous Wave except the old creeps—and I include Joseph Watters in that category—had something they had to do. There was a reason I didn’t know how to handle a computer or a phone. Even a landline was odd to me when I escaped. So, when I have to do things day in and day out on someone else’s schedule, I have minor freakouts.”

“You should talk to Adam about it.”

“No.”

The waitress returned with their pancakes. One of the things Autumn loved about Anna Miller’s was how fast their cooks were.

Once their coffees were topped off and they were left alone once again, Seth continued with the discussion. Because, of course, he did.

“Why not? It isn’t something to be ashamed of.”

She chewed on her banana Mac nut pancake, loving the hit of sweetness and the yummy nuts.

“I’m not ashamed. I just know how to deal with it.”

“Bottling it up and getting angry at your boss is not how to deal with it.”

“That’s rude.”

“Well, so are you.”

There was a beat of silence as she watched him dig into his plate of pancakes like he was going to war. The truth of the comment sent a wave of humor slicing through her irritation. Giggles bubbled up and then exploded out of her. When he looked up at her, his eyes were dancing.

“That’s a nice sound, Bradford.”

“What? I laugh a lot.”

“No. Not like that. That was joy. You should do it more often.”

She sighed. “Yeah, well, sometimes it’s hard.”

“I get it. I deal with my own issues. Actually, both of my brothers do, too.”

“They’re military?”

He nodded as he shoved another piece of pancake into his mouth. Once he chewed it, he said, “Gus is in the Marines, and Bennett’s the weird one. He went into the Air Force.”

“How is that weird?”

“We’re a Navy family.”

“Apparently not. And while technically the Marine Corps is under the Navy, it’s not the same. And let me guess about Bennett. He wanted to fly.”

“Yes, like he couldn’t do that in the Navy, or at least, the plane he wanted.”

“What’s he fly?”

“That’s not important.”

“Not a fighter because those are in other services. Being a helicopter pilot…the best way to move up in rank and be an officer is in the Air Force. Let me guess on that, too. He’s with a rescue squad.”

“Yes.”

She smiled.

“And your parents are coming here?”

“Yeah, my brothers are still in the military and moving around. Your father’s moving here because you and Ian are here.”

She nodded. “He had to have a kidney transplant last year. Thankfully, a close relative was a match, so he didn’t have to go on the register.”

“And he couldn’t stay there.”

She shook her head, her thoughts returning to how MI-6 wouldn’t take no for an answer.

“His old bosses would call him in to consult. And Sam, being who he is, wouldn’t tell them no. When Ian was there, he could keep them at bay, but once he moved here, they would call Sam all the time. His health is good, but the stress isn’t good on him, so Ian convinced him to move here.”

He nodded. It didn’t take long to finish her pancakes and order a slice of pie. Once they were back on the road, she turned to face Seth.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Just tell people you need a break. They won’t think less of you.”

She knew he was right, but the truth was, everything was coming to a head. Things were moving along. Joseph was out there circling her, waiting for her to slip up. Autumn knew that the two of them would end up facing each other, and everything would change. As long as Joseph went down, that was all that mattered.

“Autumn?”

She blinked when she realized she had been staring at him like a goober. “Sorry. And yes, I will.”

He smiled, apparently satisfied with her comment. God, he was pretty. And in that one moment, she wished she were an ordinary woman. She would love to go on dates and have a relationship. Never before had she yearned for those ordinary things, but this man, with his quiet ways and easy smiles, had her thinking just how wonderful they would be.

But her life wasn’t her own, and fantasizing about what could be was a waste of time.