Chapter 35

CHAPTER 35

CAULDER

I'm halfheartedly watching the playoffs while folding towels. Both of the second games in the first round are on—Colorado Thorns vs. Nashville Stingers and Calgary Chickadees vs. Edmonton Razors. No teams have scored halfway through the first period. Sports Spot keeps switching between the two games, which I appreciate so I can watch both without having to actually watch either.

Honestly, I'm just trying to distract myself until Lo gets here. I feel like he's always coming here, and I hardly ever get to go to him. But he's not wrong. We're flying out of Boston because that makes more sense to get to Greenland than me flying to Arizona only for us to turn around again and fly east.

My gaze keeps dropping to my phone, both watching the time and waiting for him to text me that he's landed. Who knew I was such an impatient person? It hasn't even been long since we were together. Too long, yes, but not aggressively so.

I'm distracted when the Razors score. There isn't anyone I truly care about on the Razors that has me rooting for them. They're a good team, but I wouldn't mind if they didn't make it to the next round. I'm hoping for Vegas and Calgary heading off from the central division. Furthermore, I want Vegas to win. I wouldn't be upset if Vegas makes it to the Cup, but I'm hoping Carolina wins. I'd love to see Adak Nemazcekk bring home the cup.

Though Toby Eads is predicting Carolina won't make it to the playoffs. He thinks they're going to get close, but Florida will win out on the seventh game. However, as of right now in the bracket, he thinks Vegas is the team to beat from the Western Conference. If Toby says it's so, then it must be. Although he's been known to change his predictions at the end of the first round. Nine out of ten times, this man is right. It blows my mind. I secretly think he sees into the future or something.

I'm engrossed in the commentary and replay of the Razors' goal, so I don't hear my front door when it opens, or when Lo comes inside. It isn't until I have the weird feeling of being watched that I shift to look behind me and find my boyfriend standing in the entry hall with a bouquet of flowers in his hand, watching me with his sexy smirk.

Grinning, I get to my feet. Jumping over the back of the couch, I wrap my arms around him and pull my legs up and around his waist. There's nothing better than having a big muscly guy be able to hold me as if I don't weigh a buck eighty. His hand not holding flowers comes under my ass and the one with the flowers wraps around my back.

I sigh, taking a deep breath to inhale his Laurent Duval scent.

"You were supposed to text me so I could pick you up," I admonish.

"Yes, I know. But I like this greeting better."

He crosses into the living room, and we drop onto the couch. My towels end up falling over and I'm going to have to wash them again, though I couldn't care less right now. The bouquet of flowers lands on my face and I laugh.

They smell amazingly floral.

"Love you," he murmurs.

"Love you more," I say.

We lay in silence for several minutes. The background of the playoffs breaks when both games go to intermission. I'm barely hearing it now. The only thing I care about is the feeling of my boyfriend in my arms. Wrapped around me.

That is, until Reese Davie's voice cuts the serene quiet with, "Just in. Arizona announces an early trade. Laurent Duval has been traded to the Toronto Red Foxes for Morgan Rivera."

My breath catches. Chills break out over my body.

"We managed to get a brief word with Duval just five minutes ago to see how he feels about the trade. He had this to say:"

"I'm ecstatic. Toronto is an amazing team. Even better, that's just under two hours from my boyfriend."

My heart stops completely. "Lo!"

He chuckles, arms tightening around me. "Mmm?"

"You knew they were going to broadcast that!"

"I did," he agrees.

"But… why?"

Although a hand wrapped in his hair is usually my thing—apparently, I have a preoccupation with pulling Lo's hair and gripping his supple ass—but Lo's hand tangles in mine and pulls my face back so we're staring into each other's eyes.

"Because I'm going to be holding your hand at the airport. Now that I get to have you for four entire months, I'm not taking my hands off you. Not even for travel. I want to have dinner with you and not care about who sees me kiss you across the table or feed you dessert. I want to take you for a walk on the beach and not be concerned with whether there are people around. It's still important to me to just be a hockey player, as it is to you. But I'm not going to put this part of my life—our lives—on hold until we're ready to begin the chapter of our lives without hockey."

"Yeah, but…" I'm breathless, unsure what to say. My heart races. He did this for me.

Lo brushes my hair back, reminding me that it's far too fucking long. "I don't want you to think about anything but this: I'm 100% committed to you and this relationship, Caulder. You're my soul, my life, and I'm so fucking excited to start living our lives together. I'm ready for the world to know because I don't want to hide our love. I'm ready to shout it from the rooftop."

"You're corny as fuck," I mutter.

He laughs, then brushes his lips to mine.

"You're really that sure?" I ask. I think it's hope that swells in my chest. Maybe a little fear that he's going to say, well, mostly.

"I told you, Caulder. I know without a doubt that I've loved you in a past life. Everything about me recognizes you. I've crossed time to be with you again. I'd marry you tomorrow, Caulder Haines, and not have any concerns at all because I know you're the second half of my soul."

My laughter is watery. To be loved so thoroughly, so completely by someone… It's intense. I don't ever want to be without it.

"I don't think we can get married," I say because I'm so overwhelmed with every word that comes out of his mouth that it seems the easiest thing to address. "It's too soon. Right?"

Lo shrugs. "Some may think so, but I don't care what they have to say. I'll marry you right now."

My stomach flutters.

"I'll marry you tomorrow. Next week. Next month. In two years. I'll marry you every year."

"I just… where would we get married? Our families are so far apart. Doesn't it take time to plan a wedding?"

"Our families aren't that far apart. Your family isn't actually here in New York just as mine isn't in Arizona."

"No. Mine is in Northern California. Where in Canada is your family?"

"Just east of Vancouver."

"That's a lot closer than I was thinking."

"It is," Lo agrees. "As far as where… I keep picturing us on a beach during sunset. With the background of crashing waves. Wearing as little as possible so I can keep my hands all over you."

I laugh, but I think there are stars in my eyes. "You've thought about this?"

He shrugs. "Yes."

"I… Maybe."

Lo's smile doesn't waver. He pulls me closer again, so our foreheads are pressed together. "There's no pressure, Caulder. I've been sure about this since we left the airport in Florida when it felt like a piece of me was walking away. I'm looking forward to taking you around the world and building memories. Building you a house. Make you a daddy if you want."

I flinch. Lo chuckles.

"No? Still scarred from crazy pregnant lady?"

"Yes. I wasn't entirely convinced I wanted children before, but this has really put the fear of hell into me. But if you do?—"

"Don't," I interrupt. "I'll be perfectly happy without kids."

"You said you wanted one or two," I remind him. "We had this conversation."

"I did. You're right. But my life won't be lacking without one. We can have fur babies. You cool with that?"

"I am, but Lo?—"

He presses a finger over my mouth. "We don't need to decide this right now. This is something we have years and years to talk about. We aren't on a deadline."

"But it's important. It's a big part of having a life together. This isn't the same as picking out paint colors or what brand of milk to buy. If we don't want the same big things, then it could be disastrous and lead to resentment and I don't want to live through that. I don't want to live through losing you."

"Listen to me," Lo says. "Do you know how many times I've fallen in love with you?"

My breath catches and I shake my head.

"Already too many to count. But I think the first time was when you trusted me with the secret you hadn't told a soul; the words you'd never spoken out loud. Then you took on Azure during the games as if you were giving Max the best chance he had to win, knowing that Azure is a fucking beast—I fell in love with you again. As much as I really wanted you to sue this girl—and I'm really fucking relieved that you did—the fact that all you wanted was for her to go away made me fall in love with you once more. You didn't want to punish her. Do you know how selfless that is? She caused you a month of misery. It affected your health, physically and mentally. And all you wanted was for the truth to be out there and for her to let it go and go away."

"I still want that," I point out. "I don't know if that's a reason to fall in love with me."

"I don't need it to be a reason you understand. I'm just telling you that I fell in love with you as if for the first time all over again. I fell in love with you when you told me that you weren't going to settle for a love less than that of your parents. I fell in love with you when you slammed Menlo Dexter into the boards and skated away as if it were just another Tuesday."

I laugh, but there's no mistaking how teary I am now.

"I fall in love with you every day, Caulder. At least once. I'm going to spend my life with you. I want you far more than I want anything else. Do you understand?"

There's no fighting the tear that finally falls. "Yes," I whisper.

"Good. Now understand we're different people and we're going to want different things from time to time. Nothing at all is worth losing sleep over. We'll discuss it and come up with a compromise we're both happy with."

"But you can't compromise on something like a kid," I argue.

He sighs and presses soft kiss after kiss against my lips until I'm smiling. "I need you to trust me when I tell you it's not a deal breaker for me. Okay?"

I sigh. "Yeah."

"Good. The only other thing I need you to know right now is that I had to reschedule some legs of our trips. We're going to Greenland as planned, but then we're going to head to Arizona for a week to pack my house before putting it on the market. I only have personal effects, so it won't take long. I bought it furnished, so the furniture stays. Then we're going to fly to Toronto to look for a house in the southernmost part of the city, the closest to you I can get. Hopefully, within a few months, houses will be sold and bought, and we can stop in Toronto again in August and unpack."

"I can't believe you're going to be so close," I say.

"I told my agent that I only wanted to entertain an offer somewhere on the East Coast. I didn't care where. Nashville and north were preferable, but Toronto is almost too perfect."

"I didn't know you did all that."

Lo shrugs. "Obviously we have no control over trades, but I figured it couldn't hurt to make it known that I wanted to go east."

Pulling my head back so I can look at him, I spend the next several minutes just staring into his eyes. All the things he said. The way he makes me feel. Can this really be real? Can I truly have found a love so perfect on my first try?

"What're you thinking?" Lo asks, his fingers feathering over my jaw.

"That you can't truly be real. Aren't I supposed to have my heart broken at least once? Am I supposed to marry the first person I have sex with? Aren't I supposed to want to fuck around or something?"

He laughs. "Do you want to fuck around?"

"No!" I insist. "But that's the point. Shouldn't I want to?"

"Well, we can role play. Then you can fuck the nerd or the biker or some pretty little lace baby, just to say you have."

I laugh, shaking my head.

"There's no rule that says you need to have your heart broken before you find the love you're going to grow old with, babe," Lo says. "I'm going to protect your heart and never let it break. Never let it bruise or chip or stop."

"God, you're trying to turn me into a blubbery mess, aren't you?"

"That's why I brought you flowers," he teases, nodding.

I snort.

"As for marrying the first person you have sex with? I think that means I don't have to compete against any exes," he muses, thoughtfully. "It works out rather well in my favor."

I laugh again, shoving at him. I shove a little too hard and he slips from the edge of the couch. Between his grip tightening on me and me trying to pull him back, we go tumbling onto the floor, laughing. Thankfully, all my clean towels are there to break our fall.

Burying my face in his chest, I continue to laugh. His arms tighten on me.

"We're going to be just like this when we're ninety," Lo says.

"That means we're always going to have lots of piles of clothes on the floor so we don't break a hip when we fall," I retort.

"Is that your way of telling me you don't like folding laundry?"

"Oh no. I'd much rather fold laundry than nearly any other chore."

"Noted."

I sigh, letting my body relax as Lo's fingers soothe through my hair. I couldn't do better for a first love. I must be truly lucky to have found my soulmate on the very first try.