Chapter 32

CHAPTER 32

LO

Caulder's teammates stayed a while longer, but they left by two. I think now that they know he's not alone and I won't be here long, they decided to give us some privacy. Caulder's standing in the middle of the kitchen, looking at all the dishes of food they left behind. I'm trying not to smile because he's feeling annoyed about it, but I love that they did this. I love that they were concerned and invaded his space to make sure he's taking care of himself.

I'd have loved it more if it was literally any other day because I'm here and I'll make sure he's eating today. But I need someone every other day until this woman goes back to the miserable little hole from whence she came.

Honestly, I'm not upset about losing a few hours of alone time to hang out with his friends. Getting to see Caulder with other people he's comfortable with is something I won't pass up when given the opportunity. I'm glad to see how comfortable he is with me, which is made more evident when his friends are around because his personality didn't change. I get the real Caulder.

But what I think I love even more is how Caulder seems pretty quiet with his friends. Based on how they talked and laughed, I would guess this is pretty normal Caulder behavior. When it's just Caulder and I, we talk constantly. There are barely any quiet moments unless it's those minutes right before we fall asleep at night.

It makes me feel all dramatically warm and happy inside to know that I get a piece of him that no one else does.

"What am I going to do with all this food?" Caulder asks, sighing.

"Your fridge full?"

He crosses the kitchen to open the fridge. It's not full, but it's certainly not empty. "There's no way I'm even going to eat it all before it goes bad."

"How about your freezer?"

Caulder closes the fridge and opens the freezer. "Yeah. I guess I can do that."

"They're just looking out for you," I remind him, getting to my feet and joining him in the kitchen.

A smile touches his lips. "I know. I'm going to grumble about it, but it secretly means a lot to me."

I kiss the side of his head and start arranging dishes. Caulder pokes around his cabinets until he's assembled enough single-serving sized storage containers to transfer food into. While he handles putting the food away, I begin rinsing off the dishes and putting them in the dishwasher.

"How does it feel to know you're not having a kid?" I ask.

Caulder snorts. With a grin, I glance at him. There's no tension in his shoulders now. His relief is almost visible, almost tangible in the air. We knew without a doubt that her unborn baby didn't belong to Caulder. But the world turning on him for this bullshit weighed on his shoulders like a boulder.

"I've never been so relieved to be a virgin in my life," Caulder says.

I laugh. Caulder flashes me a teasing smile before concentrating on the food again.

Listening to one side of the conversation when he took Rigo's call had been unsettling. There was a moment of relief, yes, but it wasn't long enough to give me any indication about whether the call was good or bad. Especially when he ended the call and just stood there, staring off into space.

I was ready to lose my shit if something else came out of the blue.

Thankfully, he was just overwhelmed with relief. Not in shock about something else.

When we're finished, Caulder rubs his face and yawns. I fit the rest of the dishes into the dishwasher, then close and start it. Thankfully, it was mostly empty, so all the big pieces fit with some master Tetris skills. I'm even confident they'll all get clean.

After wiping my hands on a dish towel, I pull him against me. His arms wrap around my back, and he rests his head against mine.

"I hate that I can almost hear the clock ticking down," he mutters.

"So do I," I say, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "But even when it reaches the end, it'll start counting down the seconds until we're together again. I think we can squeeze in another couple short visits before the end of the season."

"I'm going to need to invest in a plane. There's no cheap option when flying from Buffalo to Phoenix."

"No, there's not," I agree. "We'll deal with it for the rest of the season and come up with a better plan for next season." I kiss his cheek again. "I'll finish in the kitchen. Go take a shower and wake up. We have a day of cuddling on the couch to get through and I'm going to need your full attention."

Caulder chuckles. "Fine. Don't be surprised if I fall asleep on you, though. I feel like I've been awake for days."

"That's fine. Go."

He leaves the kitchen. I watch him go for a minute before turning to clean the counters and wash the few smaller dishes in the sink. I stall for a while to give him some time. If I join him, I'm going to be groping his fine ass. It's hard enough keeping my hands off him when we're together. But a naked, wet Caulder? Yeah…

Eventually, I think enough time's passed and I follow down the hall. Caulder's in his closet, wearing just shorts again. They ride low on his hips, which is why I know he's not wearing anything under them.

Be still my throbbing dick.

He's got such a nice ass. Round and hard.

Unable to help myself, I step behind him and wrap my arms around his torso. Caulder sighs and immediately leans back into me, letting his head fall back onto my shoulder. "You forget what you were doing in here?" I ask.

He huffs quiet laughter. "I was debating on whether I wanted to put a shirt on."

"I vote no shirt if you're cool with that."

Caulder grins. "Yep. Decision made." We're quiet for a minute before he speaks again. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" I allow my hand to move over his smooth skin. To re-memorize everything about this man.

"This kind of forced you to come out," I say.

"Sure." I shrug. "But I could have stayed in the bedroom or at the very least, come out dressed. I chose not to."

He's quiet for a second. "Why?"

I shrug. "Consciously, I didn't truly think about it and just did. Subconsciously, maybe I wanted them to know you have a boyfriend who is around as often as he can manage. My absence in your life isn't by choice, but due to obligation."

"You're never absent," he argues. "We're together all the time. Just not in person."

I kiss the side of his neck. "I know. And I love how we spend every waking minute that we're able to together."

His hands release the shirt he'd been holding and drop to grip my hips, bringing me tighter against him. One of my hands moves up to his chest, tweaking his nipple. He grins. For a minute, I play with his nipple, gently pinching and twisting.

Then I drop my other hand down his stomach, slipping beneath his shorts until I can grip his semi-hard dick. It's been a long time since we've done anything sexual. When we've been together over the last month, I spent most of the time just holding him in my arms. His stress had been so high that sex had been the very last thing on either of our minds.

Even over the phone or video, including when we watched each other shower, I could practically feel his anxiety radiating through our digital connection. The only thing Caulder could think about was making it go away. The only thing I could think about was how to make it go away for him.

But now, it's definitely on the verge of going away. Caulder feels lighter. Even with his weight against me, he feels like a different person. The stress that's held him down for the past month has lifted now we the truth is going to be out in the world soon.

My hand drops to cup his balls, rolling them gently in my hand. "Hello, lovely boys. Miss me?" I say to his balls.

"Ohmigod, what's wrong with you?!" Caulder mutters.

I lick his neck playfully. "I don't think you give your balls the proper amount of attention. Just making sure they know how much I love them."

"Jesus," he hisses, but I roll them in my hand again, giving him a soft squeeze and a gentle tug.

He shivers against me. I can feel his dick hardening and lengthening against the inside of my forearm.

"Want to get back into bed, babe?"

Caulder sighs. "Yeah. It's been a really long time since we…" he trails off.

"I was just thinking that. But sometimes, there are more important aspects to a relationship that need to be concentrated on."

He hums and pulls away from me. Caulder shoves his shorts down and steps out of them on his way into the bedroom. I grin after him, losing my clothes in a trail behind him.

I get a spectacular view of his ass as he climbs on the bed. Before he can lay down, I stop him and spread his cheeks for me.

"I'm super clean," he murmurs.

"Ready for my mouth at your hole, babe?" I ask, dragging my finger through his crack and over his puckered hole. His muscles clench reflexively.

"Yes."

"Where's your lube?"

Caulder pulls out of my grasp and reaches into his nightstand drawer. He tosses it on the bed and backs that sexy ass up so he's right in front of me again. I settle between his legs and give his sexy ass a gentle bite.

He grunts. His entire body shifts as he adjusts his weight onto one hand so he can rub his cock with the other. I have half a mind to swat his hand away, but I'll let him play for a minute. But that thing is going in my mouth before long.

I lick along his crack again, tasting primarily soap. When I concentrate on his hole, Caulder's low groan fills the room. It fills my head, sending sweet tendrils of arousal down my spine. I lick his hole like a dog trying to get the last little bits of peanut butter from the bottom of the jar. Constantly placing pressure on his tight ring of muscle until it gives way, and I can poke my tongue into him.

"Lo," Caulder groans.

Reaching under him, I pull his hand away from his dick and take over. Stroking him slowly. Rubbing my thumb over his slit. So good. Sexy. The quiet little sounds he makes as I push his cheek aside and drive in deeper, pistoning my tongue into his hole and listening to him moan.

I pull my face away and urge him onto his side. Dropping my mouth to his cock, I press a finger into his hole, using my spit dripping from him to allow me to glide inside.

His hands drop to my head, gripping my hair in fists. I love how hard this man is for me. Always so hard.

Before I push in a second finger, I fumble blindly for the lube, not wanting to take my mouth off his cock. I bring him deeper, listening to his sounds of pleasure. Feeling the way his hips roll.

When I push a second finger to his hole, Caulder says, "Wait," and pushes me off him. I pick my head up, letting his cock fall from my mouth with an audible pop. "I want sex."

Grinning, I say, "That's what we're doing. I'm not sure what you're doing, but I'm definitely doing that."

He laughs breathlessly. "No, I mean… I'm ready. But… I think I want to top first. If that's okay. If you want to."

My heart stills at his words. Oh. OH! I lick my lips, nodding. "Yes, definitely." I move up his body until I can kiss him. Caulder groans. I swear his entire body comes to life as he rolls against me.

"Condom?" I ask.

He nods, eyes darting up to the night stand. "Yeah. It's a new box."

"Because you recently ran out?" I tease as I crawl over him to stretch for the drawer.

I can practically hear his eyes roll. "No. Because… I kind of thought… I'd want to do this at some point. With you."

Finding the box, I hurry to bring it back with me, leaving the drawer open, so I can seal my mouth over his to quiet his shyness. His cheeks are burning.

"I love you," I tell him, keeping my mouth against his. "But so you know, I have some with me too. Just in case."

"You always brought some?" he asks.

I nod, biting his bottom lip gently. "Yep. I'm a safe fucker."

Caulder rolls his eyes.

"I enjoyed hooking up," I tell him as I open the box of condoms, keeping my mouth against him. "I wasn't living my best whoring life because I'm far too cautious for that, but I'm definitely always on the safe side and bring my own protection."

"I see," he says.

With a condom freed, I set it on his chest and reach for the lube. I've played with Caulder's hole many times now, but I've always taken him as being too shy to touch me. Even though he has no problem gripping my ass. He likes my ass.

His hand closes around my wrist. "Can I?"

Grinning, I nod and move from between his legs until I'm straddling his stomach so he can reach around me. I guide his fingers to me and then let him explore. Which is truly what he's doing as opposed to stretching me for him. His gaze doesn't leave mine and I swear, there's wonder in his expression.

I stop him when he gets to pushing a third finger in and move his hand away. "I like the burn, babe. I want to feel your dick as it makes room inside me."

A shudder races through his body as I scoot back again and roll the condom onto his cock. I lube him and then meet his eyes. "How do you want me?"

The heat in his eyes bleeds into his face. I can feel his desire as he sits up, mouth meeting mine in a rushed kiss.

"I want to be vanilla this time," he says as he pushes me backward and crawls on top of me. "So I can kiss you and see your face."

I nod as he moves over me. His blue eyes stare into mine intently as he lines up his cock with my entrance. I feel the blunt, slick crown press against my hole and my breath catches. My fingers glide along his ribs.

Caulder swallows, takes his lower lip between his teeth, and pushes his body forward. I relax beneath him, letting my muscles slacken while I bear down so he can push inside. His cockhead enters and he pauses.

"Okay?"

I grin, nodding. "Yes."

He nods in response and slowly pushes deeper inside me. The burn of his dick starts almost right away and I groan beneath him, my eyes rolling.

"Fuck," Caulder murmurs. "Jesus, Lo. I think you're going to strangle me through my cock."

I chuckle, but it's interrupted by another low moan. Caulder doesn't need more encouragement as he presses further inside me. He's panting by the time he reaches his balls. So am I.

"You… okay…?" he asks again.

Pulling him down, I seal our mouths together. "Perfect," I groan. "You're perfect, Caulder."

He groans, his hips rocking all on their own.

"Take me how you want to," I tell him. "I like it all the ways."

A shiver races over his body. I can feel the gooseflesh it leaves behind under my fingers.

His body comes down over me, pressing his weight on me, his arms wrap around me and tangle in my hair from under my head. His grip pulls my head back, exposing my neck to him. But he's moving now. Moving those glorious hips and invading my ass over and over.

My hands run over his skin, now slick with sweat, as he takes me. I swear, it's like he's been doing this for ages. The way he makes me feel every solid inch of him. The way each deep thrust punches a groan out of me. The way his teeth skim my neck, leaving tantalizing chills in their wake.

Caulder kisses me periodically, his mouth demanding attention from mine. The only three things I can think are how good this feels, how much I love this man, and a deep sense of familiarity. Like we've done this a thousand times. His body knows mine, knows just what I like and how to make me feel good. It's an echo from a past long gone, but falling around us again like we're finally coming home.

"You're still so tight," Caulder grunts. "God, I'm going to come."

I grin and clench around him. The choked sound he makes along with his sudden jerking hips has me laughing.

"You're trying to end me," he complains.

"That's okay," I respond, biting his ear. "You can come. And we'll start again when your dick is ready for round two."

His hands tighten in my hair, craning my head back further as he pushes into me harder. Faster. I'm not sure he's consciously chasing his orgasm, but my permission for him to finish touched something in him. He drives further, his moans filling my head.

I hold onto him, dropping my hands to reach his ass, urging him on. Urging him to come inside me. "Fill me, Caulder," I encourage, lips at his ear. "Give me your orgasm."

The grip on my head is almost painful. I can feel it all the way down my spine. Somehow, it grips my balls too and makes my cock leak. Caulder comes, panting, and his teeth sink into my neck for a brief moment.

Then he stills, his body dropping limply onto mine. I wrap my legs around his waist, locking my ankles.

"I'll get better," he promises.

I grin. "What makes you think I have any complaints?"

"You didn't get off," he says.

Sighing, I shake my head. "I didn't want to get off yet. Not because you lack anything, Caulder."

"You have that much control?"

"Kinda. It's all about the angle and I made sure I was angled so you couldn't hit the way that drives me to orgasm. I want to enjoy you. To feel you. To memorize your first time."

"You're sweetly corny," he mutters.

I laugh. "Trust me, babe. I won't be able to do that often. You're naturally fucking epic."

He snorts.

We're quiet for a minute, our heavy breaths the only sounds in the room.

"Love you," Caulder whispers. "I need like five more minutes. Then we can do that again."

Grinning, I nip at his ear. "Love you too. And you can take me as often as you want."

"You may regret saying that."

I won't.