1. Lu

1

LU

T he kids are with their grandmas. Check. The candles are lit. Check. The sex swing is installed. Check. Although I'm not sure something hanging from the frame of our bedroom door will be able to take my weight. Especially now that I've been more careful about eating healthy portions. Liam watches my plate, and I try really hard to be a good role model for him.

If I fall, it's only a few feet to the ground. But what if Sam knots me? I wince. That could lead to painful problems for both of us.

Sam said he wanted to try a sex swing. We just signed a seven-figure deal for a series of picture books about different emotions, so I want to celebrate with him.

It will be fine. Or his dick will experience permanent damage. Either one.

The swing is four different loops of stretchy black fabric. Sam supposed to be coming home any minute, so I separate the two longest loops and try to sit on them. I'm wearing a lacy black teddy that's loose around my postnatal belly. It's been six months since I had Robin, but my body hasn't bounced back the way it did with Mary.

Sam still stares at me with longing the way he did when we were newly bonded. That makes it easier to not worry about it.

The fabric digs into my ass and upper thighs. I grasp the upper loops, hoping to take the pressure off, and it does a little bit. But not much.

At the other end of the hall I hear the front door open.

I muster the sultriest face I can manage while my ass is losing circulation. Sam walks down the hall with a huge bouquet of light blue flowers—forget-me-nots. They're my favorite.

The longer we're together, the more thoughtful he becomes. He isn't the kind of alpha who makes empty promises. He's the kind of man who tries each and every day to treat me right.

Even Cy has warmed up to him.

He smiles when he sees the swing, then his gaze immediately goes to the top of the door frame where the clamps holding up the swing are straining.

"Is that… safe?" he asks.

"Honestly, I'm not sure. The package said it was safe."

He stands there with a face I recognize. Whenever our kids ask him for permission to do something he's not sure about, he pauses and makes that face.

Perhaps we've been fathers for too long to use a sex swing.

I stand up and hook one hand around his neck, taking the bunch of flowers with my other. "Thank you for these. They're beautiful. I'm sorry about the swing. I thought it would be fun."

He brushes his lips against mine. "It's a great idea. But having sex with you is always fun. Especially when you're wearing something like this." His hands slide underneath my black mesh underwear and squeeze my ass.

My body aches for him.

"You're beautiful, Lu. Thank you for setting all of this up for us." He kisses me again, this time opening his lips and exploring my mouth with his tongue. The drag of his tongue against mine is enough to make me hard. My body reacts to Sam so quickly these days.

It makes me wonder when I'll have a heat again. It took me about six months before I had another heat after giving birth to Mary.

I unfasten the buttons of Sam's shirt, excitement thrumming through my body. I want him inside of me. I want his naked body against mine. I break the kiss to press my lips to the center of his hairy chest.

There are times when things are fast and easy between us—when it only takes a collection of kisses to get us both to the point where we need each other. I feel so safe with Sam—so cherished. All the insecurities I used to experience during sex have melted away.

Sam's breath comes in quick as he kneads my asscheeks. "God, Lu. You're already wet for me." His finger slips in between my cheeks to graze my entrance.

"I might be going into heat," I say, because I didn't warn him last time. I didn't know until it was too late.

He freezes. "Should we… I have condoms."

I keep unfastening buttons. His hands release me as I kneel in front of him and unbutton his jeans. "Do you want to wear a condom?"

"Well, you could get pregnant, right? Is that something you want?"

We already have five children. We'll have to move to a different house as it is. But I've thought a lot about this. Todd and Lewis shared their theories about the magic of the polar bear shifters returning in full force with their mixed children, and I think they're right.

Our children could change everything.

"Would you be open to having another child?" I ask as I pull down his zipper. I nuzzle his cock. He smells so good—pure sex and Sam.

"Yes, I just…" I tongue his cock through his briefs, and he inhales sharply.

"Then we shouldn't worry, should we?" I yank his briefs down and run my tongue along his shaft. He threads his hands through my hair.

"Lu, fuck…"

I take him into my mouth and feel him hardening between my lips. I love the sensation of his cock expanding—of the heat that comes as his length fills with blood. But I need him in my ass now. I need it so badly. I don't know if it's my heat or the thrill of a new chapter of our lives beginning. Whatever it is, emboldens me.

I want to try that swing.

After a few sucks and licks, I stand and lock eyes with him before turning around. I feel the slick running down my legs. If I'm not in heat yet, I will be soon. In the past, I hated my heats. I didn't feel like the alphas I had sex with ever gave me what I needed. I desperately wanted to connect with someone—not only my body, but my soul too.

I need that connection now too. So desperately that my fingers tremble as they grasp the shorter loops of the sex swing. I forgot how intense a heat can be.

Gingerly, I lower my chest onto the two lowest loops. Facing this direction, I'm able to spread out the fabric so it doesn't cut into my skin.

Sam grabs my ass again, reaching underneath my underwear and running his fingers through my slick. "You're drenched, baby." His voice is thick with desire.

He pushes a finger into me. I rock back experimentally, taking him deeper. It isn't enough.

"Your cock, Sam. Not your fingers. Please."

He withdraws, and I whimper with need. He doesn't make me wait long. Somehow, he knows I need to take him all at once. He grabs my hips and thrusts into me forcefully. I feel my claws extending.

"I need your knot," I whisper.

"I know, baby. I know." He releases my hips, letting me swing forward, and the weightlessness of my body in the swing offers no resistance. Maybe the ease of it should feel sexy, but I need him to pound me into the floor. I need his weight and the power of his body.

I sink my claws into the fabric of the swing, dragging them down its length, shredding it into ribbons.

"Lu, don't?—"

I reach for the second loop as the other loop snaps and falls uselessly to the floor. As I shred the loop that's holding my body up, Sam reaches under my chest to lift me up, his other hand remaining firmly on my hip. It changes the angle of his penetration until the pressure inside me almost hurts.

I need more. So much more. I scramble to the side, letting him slip out, and plaster myself against the wall. "Please. Fuck me. I need it hard."

He lines himself up, and this time when he drives home, he slams me into the wall, and it's so good. I dig into the sheetrock with my claws.

"Harder."

His thrusts are violent, his fingers digging into my hips, his cock reaching so deep inside me every time. I lose my grip on the wall, and my claws drag down—leaving five long lines.

He keeps going, his breath coming in gasps, and I'm so close. My cock is pushing painfully against the front of my underwear. I can't let go of the wall long enough to take them off, so I cut them off with a claw, almost losing balance as Sam fucks me.

And then his knot. His big, glorious knot. My knees go weak as it expands inside me. His hand rests next to mine on the wall as his thrusts become more shallow. I release the wall and dig my claws into his forearm as my ass clamps down painfully on his knot, my cock spurting on the wall in front of us. His knot keeps expanding as he roars into my ear. I run my tongue along the cuts, healing him—making my mark on him permanent.

"Oh, baby. You marked me," he whispers in my ear, his hips still rocking against me.

My vision swims as he keeps getting bigger. I don't know if I can take his knot from his angle.

"So big."

"Let's get onto the floor, okay?"

He holds our bodies together as we slowly kneel and then lie on our sides.

"Congratulations," he whispers in my ear.

I smile. "You too."

"I can't wait to create another book with you, Lu. I can't wait to have another child. There is so much I want to experience with you."

The happiness in my chest feels as big as his knot.

"Okay. But can we agree that sex swings aren't as fun as they sound?"

He chuckles. "Yeah. We can definitely agree on that."