5. Revv

5

REVV

L illian takes her rock back and places it in the bottom of her crochet hook case again. "You must understand that my mothers weren't women you could say no to. They decided the trajectory of my life, and I fell in line. Chris's father was the same. He moved to the States for a job they insisted he apply for, and I dated the omega who lived across the street because they said she was a good match. Autumn and I were together for almost a year before I gave her this rock and asked her to be my mate." She smiles, and to my surprise, it's not a sad smile, but a fond one. "She told me no. Thank goodness."

"Even after you were together for a year?"

She nods. "She said she didn't love me, and she knew I didn't love her. She was so brave, Revv. Omegas didn't go around throwing away proposals at that time. The truth was, while I didn't love her romantically, I did like her very much, and we were the best of friends. We opened a craft store together and bought homes next to one another. Her children call me Aunt Lillian, and her mate still comes over for tea every day, even though Autumn died two years ago. She was not my mate, but she was my dearest friend and exactly who I needed in my life." Lillian slowly stands and walks toward the fireplace mantel where she picks up a picture frame and hands it to me. The photo depicts a smiling young woman with bright blue hair and a stack of books in her lap.

"She's beautiful."

Lillian takes the photo back and stares at it for a few moments before returning it to the mantel. "Yes. If I was meant to take a mate, she would have been the perfect choice. But I have never truly wanted a mate, and I'm grateful she knew me better than I knew myself back then. My lie never destroyed my life because she didn't let it. She saw my truth, and as a result, I've had a good life, an honest life."

She reaches for a different photo. This one is of a young woman who looks like a younger version of Lillian and a man who has an uncanny resemblance to Daddy.

"My brother's life was different. He was never happy, even as a child, and he became mean as he got older. When Chris was born, I worried. But I was a world away, and there was very little I could do to help the poor boy."

It's strange to think of Daddy as a kid. I've seen photos, of course, but they seem like they exist in another universe.

"I was so pleased to meet him when he finally came to New Zealand to search for his pebble. He was everything my brother and I hadn't been at that age: brave, creative, and honest. I was there that day on the beach when he found his pebbles."

My stomach sinks as I realize she might be telling me all this to explain why I shouldn't be searching for Daddy's pebbles. Maybe she agrees with her brother's decision to get rid of the rest.

"I've never seen anything like it. Chris had at least a dozen pebbles, and none of them were random rocks. I saw his connection to them so clearly it helped me understand why Autumn knew my pebble was a fake. I wasn't sure why he had so many, but I knew those pebbles were his truth. I knew it all the way down to my bones. And I knew my brother would never understand. He wasn't that kind of man."

She sits back down in her rocking chair and looks away from me. "He hit Chris when he saw all the pebbles. It was all I could do to hold myself back. But I knew what would come next. My brother would never allow Chris to keep those pebbles, just like our mothers had insisted I keep searching for mine. So I stayed silent and waited until Chris had buried all but one of his pebbles. Watching him decide which one to keep was agony. I know my experience is different because I never had a pebble to mourn, but I understood his anger. The world wanted a fake version of him rather than his true self, and that is always painful no matter what part of our truth we have to give up to placate society. That's why I dug up his pebbles after he left and kept them safe. Just in case he ever wanted to pay the price to live his truth."

Her confession hits me like a ton of bricks. She's had Daddy's pebbles all this time? That must mean she has the pebble Daddy would have given me. It isn't lost.

"Why didn't you tell him?" I ask.

"He never came back for them, and I didn't want to push him. As much as I appreciate Autumn pushing me to live my truth, there was a time when I was angry at her for it. I didn't want Chris to throw his pebbles away again because I forced them on him too soon."

I think back to the few times Daddy's introduced me to Lillian. He was always careful to call me his boyfriend and never mention any of his other relationships. As far as I know, he's never told her he's poly.

"Where are his pebbles now?"

She shakes her head. "Chris's pebbles are not mine to give away."

"But I need to be near them. It's why I've come all this way?—"

"Yes, I can see you are nesting. Which is why I will take you to the location where I hid them, but I have to warn you that you will never find them. Fifteen years ago, I tried to talk with my brother about Chris's pebbles. He had just lost his mate, and he had come to me for comfort. I thought there was a chance I could make him understand. But he guessed I had secretly kept Chris's pebbles and tried to get them back so he could get rid of them himself. I hid them where he would never think to look."

"Where?"

Her lips quirk up. "In the craft shop he told me was a frivolous waste of time."

"You mean in the actual shop? As in, next to the yarn?" What if someone walked off with them? That doesn't seem like a very secure place.

"Not next to the yarn, but his pebbles are safe at my shop. I think we should call him and get this all sorted, don't you? It isn't our place to talk about his pebbles without him here."

I pull out my phone and turn it on. Even if calling Daddy will mean I have to go back home, he does need to know his pebbles are safe. He should have known a long time ago. There is a list of missed calls from Daddy and Gray, along with a lot of messages asking where I am. I try calling Daddy back, but the call goes straight to voicemail. That seems a little strange, especially because he's clearly trying to figure out where I am.

"It went straight to voicemail when I tried to call him too," Lillian says.

She did warn me she was making a call earlier. I didn't realize she was calling Daddy.

"It's okay. I'll try our mate, Gray."

She smiles. "You two have a third?"

"Yeah, we're poly. Polyamorous, I mean. It means we love more than one person." The second I say it, I realize I shouldn't have. It isn't my place to tell her that Daddy is poly any more than it's her place to tell me where his pebbles are. I shouldn't have come here alone.

Her eyes become glassy. "Then he was living his truth this whole time. What a brave man. I'm so proud of him."

It's funny. When Daddy and I meet other people, they think I'm the wild one because he likes to share me. But being poly is a lot easier now than it used to be. Back when Daddy found his many pebbles, things were very different, and he lived his truth anyway. He's the wild one or the brave one as Lillian might phrase it.

Wild and brave are often two sides of the same coin.

Lillian places a hand on my knee. "I'm an excellent aunt, or so I've been told. If that chick of yours needs one."

I smile. "They might. Thank you."

She stands up and holds out her hand to me. "Come now. I'd like to show you my shop. Something tells me you'll feel more at peace when you get there."