1. Felix

1

FELIX

T wo months later…

I wake to Toby whispering in my ear. "Today is the day."

He's lying next to me, completely nude, his baby bump pressing against mine. I love this. Not just the way our bellies touch when we embrace, but the quiet moments when I can look down and see our chicks growing inside us without any clothing in the way. A part of me never wants to leave the cocoon of happiness we have here in Eli and Max's basement, even though we've been hiding down here for two months.

"Do we have to go?" I ask.

"Of course. The doctor needs to do an ultrasound. Don't you want to see our chicks?"

"Yes," I admit. But I secretly wish the doctor could bring the ultrasound machine to us, like she did with the heart monitor a month ago.

"What's the matter, Felix? Don't you want to get out of here? We've been trapped in this basement for so long."

"I know. But this basement isn't that bad. I get to be with you, and Heller brings us books every week. That's all I need to be happy."

Toby smiles. "Good. I'll hold you to that, because I'm too poor to offer you anything but my body and free books from the library." He kisses me, which devolves into a slow make out session, even though both of us have terrible morning breath. Eventually, he pulls away from me and rolls out of the bed.

"C'mon. We can wear those new outfits Heller brought us yesterday. Louisa said that we could visit her new house after our doctor's appointment. We can't move there yet because it will mess up our nesting, but we could hang out there for a bit." He turns around to face me, and I'm struck by how lovely he is. His face is a little rounder now, and the extra weight on his ass and legs makes me want to pull him back into bed and make love to him. It almost seems like Toby's body is meant to be pregnant—that this is his most natural state.

"What?" he asks.

"You're beautiful."

His ears pinken. He's still bashful every time I compliment him. Even though our whole world has changed, I guess some things never will.

Toby and I fall into our normal morning rhythm. First, we take a shower together. I love washing his skin and kissing him under the hot water. The curves of his body feel different while they're slippery with soap. Sometimes, we make love in here too. I penetrate him with my fingers or stroke his cock. But not this morning. Toby is too quick in the shower. After he's clean, he rushes around the bathroom and bedroom, brushing his hair and putting on clothes.

I begrudgingly try on the clothes Heller got for me and stand in front of the mirror. I used to be proud of my appearance, but my baby bump is awkward. Toby's looks so natural and in alignment with his body. Mine just sticks out all in one place, and the rest of my body is completely unaffected.

"You are the cutest pregnant guy ever," Toby says, handing me a brush.

"No, I'm not. People probably won't even realize I'm pregnant. I'm too small." I don't tell him I'm worried there's something wrong with the egg, because I don't want him to worry. I'll be able to ask the doctor about it today.

He wraps his arms around me from behind. I can feel the press of his baby bump against my back as he holds me close. "You're not too small. Your egg is Felix-sized. Our little chick will probably be fine-boned, just like you. Of course they're little right now."

He always knows exactly what to say to make me feel better.

I close my eyes and savor this moment. In a lot of ways, my relationship with Toby is like the eggs growing in our wombs: it hasn't seen the light of day yet. I know he loves me, and we're meant to be together, but I still worry something might go wrong when we emerge from our basement haven.

"What if Louisa gets sick of me? I can be very annoying," I say.

Toby presses a kiss to my back. "You aren't annoying, just stubborn and curious. I think she'll love that about you."

"I am annoying. The teachers at Vos put me on a list because I was so annoying, remember?"

Toby releases me and walks around until we're standing face to face. "You were never the problem, they were. We just need to find people who can appreciate you the way you are."

I roll my eyes. "Good luck with that."

He reaches out and grabs my right wrist. With his other hand, he pushes up the long sleeves of my shirt until they're halfway up my forearms. It's how I wore my uniform at Vos. "I want you exactly the way you are."

It's hard to feel bad about myself when someone like Toby loves me so much.

"Let's get out of here," I say, flashing him a smile that's more confident than I feel.

"But Louisa won't be here for another two hours."

I shrug. "We could ask Eli to drive us somewhere. Today is our official day of freedom. We could go anywhere."

He's been looking forward to this day for months. We shouldn't stay down in this basement a moment longer. He's ready to be free.

His face lights up with a joy I get to see all the time now. He runs toward the stairs with surprising speed for a pregnant omega. I run after him and let myself get caught up in his happiness. We climb the stairs far too quickly and end up gasping for breath at the top. Eli watches us from the kitchen table, where he's sitting next to Lark's high chair and putting little sardines in their tray. Lark is in their bear form and squashing the sardines with their little paws.

"You're in a hurry," he says.

"We can leave the house now," Toby tells him.

Eli smiles. "That's right. Today is the magic day."

"Will you take us to the library?" Toby asks.

My heart swells in my chest. In the past few months, I've told him about the times my omega dad took me there and how much it meant to me. I also told him about the library where I called Eli.

"Which library? There are a few around here," Eli says.

"The old one that used to be a church. It's near Vos."

He pulls out his phone and searches for it. "This one?" He lifts his phone to show me a photo of the building.

I nod. That building is my favorite place in the whole world, and now I get to share it with Toby.

Lark has to finish their breakfast before we can leave. Eli packs a bag while Toby and I sit with Lark, trying to convince them to eat more of the little fish. They spend most of the time swishing their hands across the tray like a windshield wiper, getting smashed fish all over the floor.

When Eli is finally ready to go, walking out into the garage is less eventful than I thought it would be. Toby and I cram into the back seat together with Lark. I want to sit next to him while we emerge into the outside world. The sun is bright as Eli pulls out of the garage.

"I feel like a chauffeur," Eli teases.

Lark stares at me from their rear-facing car seat. They're now a penguin. I reach over and smooth down their fluffy gray feathers. Their little wing flaps down on my fingers. It's the gentlest of flaps, and it makes me ache to touch the feathers of my own chick.

I have no idea where Eli's house is located, so it's a surprise when we arrive at the library in less than five minutes. It's strange to drive up to it after years of walking down the sidewalk toward the east entrance. Everyone piles out of the car, including Lark, who Eli holds in a baby carrier on his chest.

"You two go ahead," Eli says, as if he knows what this place means to me. I haven't told him, but he found me at a library, so maybe he has his guesses.

I take Toby's hand and guide him through the front doors. I don't know where to start. I could tell him about the history of the library, but I worry he won't understand the irony. Instead, I pull him into the familiar open space of the stacks. Toby looks up at all the windows, taking it all in with the wonder it deserves.

"This is… nothing like the book room," he says.

I laugh. "You're right. It isn't."

"It's so big! Are all libraries this big?"

I shake my head. "Most are bigger. This is a small library—the smallest in the Anchorage Public Library System."

I love the way his eyes widen and how big his smile is. I wish my omega dad was here. For a moment, I miss him so fiercely, I can barely breathe. During the last few months, it's been hard to think about him. Every memory is tainted with what I learned about his bond to my alpha dad. But this place still feels pure to me.

This was my omega father's rebellion—it was his sanctuary. When he died, it became mine too. This library gave me a chance to explore the world in the only way a Gentoo omega can. It reminded me of the world outside the Gentoo community. And it was the place where I found Pebble Gifting Passion , which started everything.

I wish I could thank my omega dad for all of that. If only we had more time together.

I glance over at the information desk. Arthur isn't there. In his place is a librarian I haven't met before. I guide Toby to the 800's, which is where my omega dad would often start our trips to the library. I run my fingers along the spines of the books, the way he used to.

"This is the poetry section," I say, gesturing to the two shelves of books I've checked out many times. "When you're sad, you can find beauty here. That's what my omega dad used to tell me."

Toby's smile softens. "Is this where you found all those passages you wrote on your paper airplanes?"

I nod.

"Thank you for sharing all of those with me."

My eyes well up with tears very suddenly, and it's hard to stop them from falling. I look up for a moment and blink. I can't get through this if I start crying now.

"Where are those books on animals you used to read?" he asks. "You know, the ones with the big pictures?"

I pull him to the next aisle: the 500's. "This is the science section. They have tons of books on different animals. The photography is amazing." I find a book on wild cats and another on birds. Toby takes the books greedily and starts flipping through them. I always thought of him as the lucky one because he's from a founding family and both of his mothers are still alive, but the way he devours each page makes me realize that I was lucky too, in my own way.

"There's a whole history section, including Anchorage's history," I say, leading him to the 900's. That's where I find Arthur, pushing a book cart toward the area of books on World War II. He looks up and smiles at me. His eyes dart to where I'm holding hands with Toby, but only for a moment. He stares at both our belly bumps for a beat longer.

"Felix! It's so good to see you. It's been a while. How is the job hunting going?" he asks.

That seems like a lifetime ago.

"Um, it's not really going. Arthur, this is my mate, Toby. Toby, this is Arthur. He's a librarian here. That means he helps people find books and information and stuff."

Arthur holds out his hand to Toby, then pulls back, checking himself. Maybe he knows Gentoo don't shake hands in greeting. "It's nice to meet you, Toby."

"It's nice to meet you too. This is my first time in a library. It's amazing."

Toby starts talking about the windows, but the sound fades in the background as I get a good look at Arthur's book cart. It's such a nice cart. I bet he can fit dozens of books on a cart like that. It would be incredibly useful for transporting books to Eli's car.

I release Toby's hand and walk up to the cart, bending over to inspect the wheels. They're nice and sturdy.

"I need this," I say and grab the other end, yanking it away from Arthur.

"Oh, um, okay." He lets me take it. In the background, I hear him ask Toby how far along I am.

"A little over two months," Toby answers.

"Has he started nesting, then?"

I ignore them and push the cart back to the 800's. Most of the books I need are checked in, thank goodness. I stack all the books Arthur left on my book cart in piles on the floor and start loading up the poetry section. It barely fits, so I'll have to come back for the penguin shifter romances.

Eli tries to wave at me from the children's section, but I ignore him. I don't need any books from that section. Once I roll my cart past the checkout station, a loud alarm beeps. Someone clearly forgot to check out their books before leaving the library. A woman behind the circulation desk waves at someone, but I don't know who. I'm the only one in the lobby. I continue out the door. The wheels on the book cart are much louder on the sidewalk. The lady from the circulation desk is now outside and yelling at someone to stop. She runs in front of me and grabs the opposite end of the book cart.

"What are you doing?" she asks.

"I'm moving these books to my friend's car. Obviously."

"Okay. But you haven't checked them out."

"Of course I haven't. They don't belong at the library anymore. They belong by my bed."

She looks at me like I'm crazy.

Eli rushes out of the library with Lark still in tow. "Wait! Don't call the cops! He's probably nesting!"

Arthur isn't far behind him. He's holding an iPad and one of those laser guns the librarians use to check out books. "I'll take it from here, Alicia. This sort of thing happens all the time at the branches in penguin shifter areas. We just need to scan the books, and he can have them for the rest of his nesting period."

"But he took the entire poetry section," Alicia says. She still won't let go of my cart. I yank it backward and to the side. I almost lose a few books in the process, but I manage to get it free.

"He's still within the checkout limit we allow nesting penguin shifters. It's a different borrower status. I'll change his record when we get back inside. Now we need to focus on getting those books scanned before he runs away with them."

I swerve around Alicia and beeline for Eli's car. Now I'm on the asphalt, and the book cart is rickety along the uneven surface.

"Are you his mate?" Alicia asks Eli, which is annoying. Why would I be with Eli, who is just standing around doing nothing, when I could have the pretty omega who is currently pushing his own book cart out of the library? He must have found the board games in the back corner, because he has a brand new Clue game in his cart, in addition to a few dozen books on animals and a sign in plastic casing that says, "Please help us keep the library quiet."

"That's his mate," Arthur tells Alicia.

She runs toward Toby's book cart. "You can't take the board games. They're for our teen game night."

"This one isn't," Toby says. "It belongs in my room."

Alicia rounds on Arthur. "What about the sign? We can't just give him the sign!"

"I don't see why not. We can easily make another one. He'll return it after he's done." Arthur is now pulling out each of my books individually and scanning them before putting them back. I like his scanner. I think it would look nice next to my bed too. I grab for the handle and yank it away from him.

I can't see Alicia anymore because I'm trying to get Eli's trunk open, but I hear her laughing.

"It would be better if we loaded up what they have and got out of here," Eli says. "The longer we draw this out, the more stuff they'll collect. Especially when they become fixated on a place like this. Toby isn't just going for the books, he's taking everything in sight."

Eli has no idea what he's talking about. Toby didn't just put random stuff on his cart. We need all of it.

"Please open the trunk!" I call out.

Eli pushes a button and the trunk of his car finally pops open.

"Can we at least take photos of it?" Arthur asks.

I start unloading books. Eli and Arthur are so busy snapping photos, they don't realize I've taken off with the cart again until it's too late. I hit the romance section next and grab everything with a penguin sticker on the spine. Toby makes it back with his cart too and manages to get the globe by the reference section on the top of his cart.

"Oh my God! He can't take that!" someone says. I don't know who's saying what anymore. Someone tries to steal the stickers I found at the information desk right off my cart, so I have to rip them away and run toward the lobby. Toby is right behind me. We manage to get the books and globe to the car before anyone can stop us.

It's difficult to squeeze the book carts in with everything else. We decide to leave one behind because we don't need both. The globe is far more important.

"We should go home and then come back," I tell Eli as we buckle our seatbelts.

Eli looks back at me through the rearview mirror. "Absolutely not. You are not allowed at the library until you lay your egg."

"But we need—" Toby begins.

"You already have plenty. You took that poor woman's name tag right off her shirt. You cannot be trusted to go back there."

I guess we'll have to ask Louisa to drive us. I didn't get a single book by Victor Hugo. We can't build a library without Victor.

Maybe Heller could take us too. We'll need several trips.