1. Cyrano

1

CYRANO

O ne afternoon I find a cage at the foot of our bed. Inside it is a little hamster running on a wheel.

"Ben?!" I call out.

He pops his head in, because he's still able to move quickly without becoming nauseous. Which really isn't fair. "What is it?"

"Why is there a hamster cage in our room?"

He grins. "Isn't she great? Her last owner was allergic to her, so she needed a new home, and I thought that spot would be perfect for her cage. Every time I look at her, I get this glowy feeling in my stomach."

Oh no. Todd said Ben would start collecting something around our bed a few weeks before he laid his eggs. Does this mean Ben is going to start collecting hamsters?

"When you say the hamster looks perfect in that spot, you don't mean exactly that spot, do you? How would you feel if I moved her to the living room?"

Ben walks over to the hamster cage and spreads out his arms protectively. "You can't move her. This is where she has to be. She belongs here."

Fuck. Ben's nest is hamsters.

This makes me nauseous, of course. Because everything makes me nauseous. But Todd told me it was important to accept Ben's nest.

At least it isn't spiders. He said he wanted a tarantula. Or rodents. Thank God it isn't rodents. Although the hamster does look a little like a rodent. A fat, furry rodent, with a serious commitment to exercise.

"Okay. You're right. She belongs there," I say.

On Wednesday I find a terrarium with a frog inside. He's an ugly thing with warts and wet skin that looks so much like slime, I wouldn't know what he was if he didn't have two huge eyeballs that stare back at me.

On Friday, there's a snake. Axe steps into our bedroom and almost jumps when he sees it. I watched Ben carry the terrarium in, so I've had a little time to adjust to the fact that we're going to share our room with a reptile.

"We have to, uh, keep that thing, don't we?" he says, his neck muscles bulging.

"Yes."

"Didn't Ansel collect clothes?"

I nod.

He takes in a deep breath through his nose and lets it out slowly through his mouth. "We can do this. It could be worse. He hasn't gotten a spider yet."

But on Saturday, Ben waddles into the bedroom with a suspiciously small terrarium that, upon closer inspection, has a tarantula inside.

When Axe sees it next to his side of the bed, he drags his hands through his hair. "That's a spider."

"Yep. It certainly is."

"But we love Ben, so we're just going to leave it there."

"Yes, we are."

Because I'm bed-ridden, I get to see Ben bring in his entire collection. There's a scorpion named Molly, and a rat he calls Templeton. Humpty Dumpty is a domesticated bat who falls from his perch a lot, and Sir Bites-a-lot is a sugar glider who earned his name honestly.

There's even a parakeet in a cage that Axe helps Ben hang from the ceiling. By that point his baby bump is big enough to throw off his balance.

The strange thing is that while Scooch insists on moving almost everything in our house, including the refrigerator, he doesn't touch Ben's nest. Somehow, he knows that we're not allowed to move it, even if some of us are pregnant and overwhelmed by the smell of so many pets in such a small space.

One week before my due date, Ben lies next to me on the bed. We're both on our sides, our swollen bellies touching one another under the covers.

"Sometimes I want the eggs to stay inside of me forever," Ben says, as he runs his hand along the space where our bodies meet.

"Oh God, no. That would be terrible. They have to come out. Soon."

He smiles and places his hand on the side of my belly. Our little one is doing somersaults against my bladder. His eyes dance with wonder as she moves against him. "Right now we can keep them safe from the world. When they're born, everything will change. I'm so happy being pregnant with you. I wish everything could stay exactly as it is right now."

I am suddenly grateful that no one is handing out wishes to short-sited penguin shifters.

He closes his eyes. "I'm tired."

So am I. These days I'm always tired. "We should sleep. From what I hear, we won't be sleeping much after our little ones are born."

"When will Axe be home?" Ben asks.

Isn't that the question of the year? As time has gone on, his work schedule has become more and more unpredictable. But I've made my peace with it. If it wasn't for his weird, secret job, he wouldn't be with us.

"I don't know. Let's take a nap, and then we'll text him, okay?"

Ben yawns. "Okay."

He's snoring in less than a minute. The parakeet starts chirping, and off in the distance, Scooch is moving something.

I close my eyes and try to ignore the chaos, but our cub is kicking my bladder again.

Despite what Ben wants, this cannot last forever.