Chapter 6

Penn

I'm too wired this morning. Apparently, yoga makes me horny because as soon as I get in the shower, I jerk off. It's one of those days where everything feels like too much, and a quick orgasm helps take some of that edge away.

Madden is surprisingly still here once I get out, and even more surprisingly, he's wearing clothes. Well, gym shorts. But it's something.

"What are you doing?"

"Thought I'd hang around and see you off on your date."

It takes all of my self-restraint not to correct him. He was there—he knows it's not a date, and if it was, I probably wouldn't be going. The dating scene should excite me. It doesn't.

"Coffee and I are already well past the dating stage of our relationship, thanks."

"Mhmm. So, make sure you ask Lana lots of questions. But don't be too weird about it. Give her space to answer. And you want to give a little bit about yourself too, dude. You used to play ball, you're an incredible designer, you have your own place?—"

I turn to Madden so suddenly he stops following me to my bedroom. We're face-to-face, and it's a real effort not to laugh at how earnest he looks. "Sure you don't want to date me?"

His mouth drops, and he blinks at me for a moment. "W-what? Don't be weird, man."

I step into my room to change while Madden takes up his usual space on the bed. Since I'll be going to a client's house today and spending the rest of the time in our display room, I pick out dress pants and a button-up. I hate wearing full suits since the jacket is usually too stifling, but I keep a blazer in the car with our logo embroidered on it to at least look professional when I'm meeting up with people.

"I'm just saying," Madden continues, raising his voice so it reaches me in my walk-in closet. "If you're lonely, she's a great option. Same building means easy access, am I right?"

Once I'm dressed, I walk out, eyeing him like he might be sick. "Easy access? What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Do you need me to explain the birds and the bees?"

He's smiling, but this isn't Madden. Madden is the most laid-back, easygoing man I've ever met. It's one of the things I like most about him. He's never pushy or awkward, but right now, he's toeing that line.

"What's going on?"

Before he can give me some bullshit excuse that's definitely going to be a lie, judging by the look on his face, there's a knock at my front door.

"Must be Laaaaana," he says, pumping his eyebrows.

"How can you tell?" My tone couldn't be drier if I tried.

I'm going to give Madden a bit of time to shake this … thing he's going through, but if he doesn't stop being weird, I'm definitely going to have to rethink this helping me thing. I want to spend time with him , not the alien-abducted version of him.

When I pull open my front door, I'm once again hit by how ridiculously pretty Lana is. Like she stepped off a magazine cover where the girl is dressed in baggy overalls and boots to make her look totally cute and approachable, but she's still a fucking eleven anyway.

"Ah … hey." I've hooked up with my fair share of hot people, but apparently, this level of hot makes my tongue turn to lead.

"Hey, are we still good? For coffee? I'm early, I'm sorry—it just felt really weird to be ready and hanging around two doors down when …" Her gaze strays over my shoulder. "Oh, hi! I'm Lana."

I turn to find Madden hovering shirtless at the end of the hall.

"I know." He doesn't smile or introduce himself, which is more fucking weirdness when Madden is like a puppy with new people.

"That's Madden," I say for him.

"Nice to meet you." She has dimples and really sweet eyes that slowly dim as Madden doesn't say anything.

"Okay, ready to go?" I ask, cutting through the awkwardness. I don't do well with confrontation, so I head it off before it can get a foothold. As we leave, I throw Madden a look to get his shit together before I close the door behind me. He can let himself out when he's ready.

Lana and I walk side by side to the elevator and step in, still without a word. Great. This breakfast is going to be a fucking disaster, and whether I do or don't want to try dating, it won't matter because she'll never want to see me again anyway.

"Thanks for doing this," she says after a too-long silence. "I know it's all very awkward, and I'm making it even more awkward by saying how awkward it is …" Her hands don't st op moving as she talks. "Maybe we should have an icebreaker fact or something. A random tidbit. Something to make this whole thing not so fucking tense."

I speak without thinking. "Your whole personality is an icebreaker."

"Oh my god." She covers her face with both hands, but I can make out the smile underneath them. "I'm a talker. Not that I enjoy talking. Like I get nervous, and then words keep coming out." She forces a laugh, and it's more a reaction to cut herself off than something natural.

"Good to know. I'm clearly not a talker. That's all Madden, and actually, you probably should have gotten coffee with him over me. But I will promise to try."

"Okay." She shoots me a sly look. "Madden didn't look like he'd want to go anywhere with me though."

I can understand why she'd have that impression when he was being so standoffish. "Nah, he's actually super friendly. I think something's crawled up his ass this morning because he's been weirdly over-the-top. Out of the two of us, he's the one who has a lot of friends, and I have … well, let's just say I need coffee to go well, and then maybe I'll have one."

She tilts her head. "Are we both no-friend losers?"

"Sounds like it."

"Huh. Love that for us."

At least it doesn't seem to be turning her off. "Yeah, maybe we keep that to ourselves though. I don't think it's good advertising."

"What's your thing, then?"

"My thing?"

"Sure." She shrugs in an overly dramatic way. "No offense, but my thing is that I've just moved here. I get the impression you've been here a while, so … did you kill all your friends? Do you spit when you eat? Have a foot fetish or, like, a weird obsession with model trains? "

"Are all of those things on the same level to you?"

"Close enough." She gasps. "You have a crush on Piers Morgan, don't you? It all makes sense." She throws her hands up like she's solved the mystery, and my eyes are glued to the back of her head as I follow her along the street.

Does Lana have an off switch?

Don't get me wrong, I think I'm enjoying myself, and I'm used to Madden monologuing when he gets onto something he's passionate about, but she's not Madden. And I'm being a bit of a judgmental dick.

So far, Lana hasn't done anything other than be nice. I need to make an effort too.

"I don't know that I have a thing . I'm usually good at making friends, but I moved to Seattle with Madden after college, and since I had him here … I never really made the effort to befriend anyone outside of him."

Understanding fills her eyes. "That makes sense. I guess it explains why he was looking at me all territorial."

"Territorial?"

"You did tell him this wasn't a date, right?" She laughs. "I'm a lesbian anyway, but even I can tell your man is one of the most attractive men folks I've ever seen."

My feet freeze in place. "Ah, what?"

Her cheeks tinge pink. "Sorry. Normally, I don't blurt my queerness all over the place—you can never be too careful, you know? But I figured since you're safe?—"

"I'm safe?"

She runs confused eyes over me. "I want to say yes, but that tone you're using is giving big no vibes."

"No, wait. Yes. I am safe. Very queer-friendly. I'm, umm, curious what gave you that impression?"

"Your … boyfriend. Partner. Boyfriend?"

"You said boyfriend," I correct weakly.

"Right. Him. Clearly, you're gay or bi or … queer? Do you us e queer? I'm totally fine with queer, by the way, but I know some people aren't. But since you're part of the community, it was like this light shining down telling me I'd made the right choice knocking on your door last night. My gaydar is usually on the button, but I didn't know it worked for friends as well."

My hands come down to grip her shoulders. "I'm going to need you to stop talking for a second."

"Okay, but saying things like that is only going to make me feel awkward and probably make me talk more."

Somehow, I manage a laugh because my brain is soaked in a whole tidal wave of information, but the one thing I keep coming back to is, "You think Madden's my boyfriend?"

She very obviously looks me up and down. "Yes. No? Maybe? Suddenly not? I … he stayed the night and was half-naked this morning and then you've talked about him nonstop and moved here with him and he was all glaring monster … feel free to stop me again because I'm worried I can't do it on my own."

"I'm not gay. Queer. Any of that. I'm straight."

"Straight?" She takes a massive step back, and my hands fall to my sides.

"Sorry?"

"No, what, I'm sorry. I'm the idiot who assumed. Wow. I'm usually so much smarter than that." This time, she goes silent on her own.

I know I should reassure her that it's fine because it is, but I'm still stuck on how easily she came to that conclusion. Not about me—about us. Me and Madden.

"It's okay," I manage stiffly. "It really is. I'm just trying to make my brain catch up."

"You've gone all pale. Are you a homophobe?"

"Of course not." That shocks some life back into me. "Madden's gay. He's also my best friend—not boyfriend. Even if I have seen his dick more times than I'll ever be able to count—" When she pulls a face, I realize how far away from my point that I'm getting.

"Wow, be cool," she tells me. "You might be best friends with a gay man, but you're getting super flustered about the mix-up."

I bury my face in my hands. I'm not homophobic, no matter whatever the hell my mouth might be saying. All the reasons for her assumption make a lot of sense, and I'm only thrown because of how easily she came to that conclusion. "Sorry. I promise it's nothing to do with that. We've never been mistaken for a couple before. It threw me."

"Bullshit."

"No, really."

"Well, I'll take your word for it, but my bigot sensors are on high alert, so be warned. Him being gay makes a lot of sense though." Lana continues toward the cafe. "I knew I was getting jealous vibes."

Jealousy? From Madden?

I follow Lana into the cafe, wondering what the hell I'm getting into with my strange new friend.