Chapter 24

Penn

Lisa's gaze flicks my way for the fortieth time since this morning. I'm trying to ignore her, trying to focus on my work, but every now and then, she lets out this aborted laugh that she tries to choke down again.

We both know that she's staring and I'm ignoring, but I don't know how much longer I can do the seeing-not-seeing thing. It's getting on my nerves.

"Penn?" she whisper-coughs. "Penn."

With the patience of a damn saint, I turn to her. "Yes, Lisa?"

"You've got a—" She taps her neck like I might have missed the glowing marks Madden left behind.

"A zit?"

" No , it's a …" She taps faster, like she's trying to communicate in Morse code.

I keep my expression neutral. "Food? A bug? "

" Penn ." Lisa glances around with a giggle, and for someone I wouldn't be surprised was raised in a convent, Lisa leans over her desk. "It's a, umm, a love bite , Penn."

"A love bite …" I pretend to think it over. " From a bug?"

Lisa finally catches on that I'm fucking with her and bats a hand playfully my way. "You're so bad."

"At my job? Gee, thanks."

She gasps. "You know that's not what I mean."

Honestly, Lisa is too easy.

"So …" Her eyes light up like she's settling in for gossip. "Who was it? Anyone I know, or did you go out, find some random woman, and …" She sucks in a fast, shaky breath. "You know."

The more she talks, the more I wonder just how experienced she is with sex. Considering she and Lana are really the only people I talk to outside of Madden these days, the differences between them are stark. Lana wouldn't have hesitated to say take them to boner town.

But here I am, already faced with one of the questions I don't have an answer to. If I tell her it was Madden, will she ask about my sexuality? Will she question me on why now? What got me to this point?

My palm is clammy on my mouse, collared shirt feeling way too tight. "You know the person," I say, hoping she'll leave it there. She doesn't.

She squeals instead. "Oh my goodness, who ?"

Considering we don't know a lot of the same people, I'm not at all surprised that she's excited. Most of our conversations are surface level, and this gossip might be a first for us. Or at least a third. We definitely haven't passed five digits.

I'm getting that flushed-face feeling I get before I confront something important, and, trying to keep my voice as level as I can, I say, "Madden."

There's a ringing in my ears from somewhere. Lisa takes approximately seventy-billion years to respond, and I brace myself for the questioning.

"Huh," she says. "Makes sense."

Wait … what ?

"What do you mean it makes sense?"

Lisa turns back to her computer, apparently unaware that she's shocked me stupid. "I probably should have guessed it was him, is all. Very cute, Penn. I didn't know you had it in you."

And here comes the gay thing. "Had what in me?"

"Game." Her pretty blue eyes flash to me again. "I hope you know Madden is a real catch."

"I know …"

"What are we talking about my darling Madden for?" Dryden asks, sweeping into the room. They're wearing a bedazzled kaftan that hurts my eyes if I look at it for too long.

"Madden gave Penn … well, he gave him a …" Lisa waves her hand at me.

I sigh. "A hickey. He gave me a hickey."

Dryden lets out a throaty laugh. "Looks like he gave you two. Unless the second one was from someone else."

My face is burning up but for another reason now. "Nope. All him." I almost say it's okay, though, because I got him back with the scratches I left in his back, but they both already know way too much about my sex life as it is.

Dryden leans their hip against my desk. "Are you two a couple?"

"We're …"

Not exclusive. The reminder plain pisses me off.

"We're new. Taking things slow."

"Well, don't take things too slow because a man like that won't stay single for long."

"He's been single the majority of the time I've known him." Any relationship Madden's had didn't last long, and I always felt like a bit of a dick to be relieved by that. If he doesn't have a partner, it means he has more time for me. Yes, yes, I'm a monster, but also, the more I think back on things like that, the surer I am that these feelings aren't new.

Dryden hums and looks me over. "No clue why that might be."

Them implying that maybe Madden's been single because it was me he wanted makes my chest balloon in a new and amazing way.

"We're seeing where things go," I say firmly. Gushing isn't a thing I do, and I'm definitely not going to get all goo-goo over Madden in case it doesn't work out. Not only will it hurt, but that sounds fucking mortifying.

"I don't know about the two of you, but it's getting late, and I could use a drink. Want to wrap things up early?"

"Oh, I do," Lisa says, bouncing in her chair.

"Should we walk up the street for a couple of beers?" Dryden suggests.

"Umm." Lisa plays with her desk calendar. "Do I have to drink beer?"

Dryden thumps their forehead. "No, you don't have to drink beer, you silly girl. I'll get you whatever you like."

"You're buying?" I check.

"Why not?"

Going out with only the two of them? It's not something we've done before, and my default is to say no and text Madden, but I stop myself. He's all I have, and maybe that's not such a great thing. Dryden and Lisa are both so far from the types of people I normally gravitate toward—Madden and Lana are both overly warm, have no boundaries, and are almost pushy about our friendship—but maybe that's a good thing.

I'm not expecting best friends or anything, but maybe having relationships in my life that I have to work for wouldn't be the worst? Or maybe it would. I won't know until I actually give this a try.

"I could go for a beer," I say.

Dryden claps their hands. "Perfect. Shut everything down, and we'll head out."

Finishing work half an hour early isn't the worst thing either.

"No, I'm telling you. It was a nun. Full habit and robes and … what's that little white thingy on their foreheads?"

I snicker into my beer. "No clue."

"She was my teacher," Lisa says. Considering she was planning to stick to soda but thought trying a beer for the first time in front of her boss and her colleague was a smart idea, I probably should have expected this.

One beer down, and the alcohol has all gone to her head.

"I'm not surprised you went to a full religious school, if I'm honest."

"Why?" Lisa is in her early twenties, has flawlessly made-up skin, big, bright blue eyes, and white-blond hair slicked back into a ponytail. Our clients love her for being so bubbly and pretty, but I'm starting to see that there's a lot more going on under her pageant queen face.

"You're very …" Calling her na?ve feels mean. "Innocent."

Lisa groans and clutches my hand. "Do you know I couldn't even dance with a boy at my high school prom?"

Okay, no, she's definitely na?ve. "What?"

"Not that I wanted to. And then college …" She shudders. "The dorms were too loud, so I lived at home. There were only like a thousand of us in the whole school."

"That sounds very sheltered, honey." Dryden shifts Lisa's remaining beer away. "When did you move to Seattle? "

"After you hired me. I got the job and was like, well, I guess I'm doing this."

"How did your parents feel about that?" I ask cautiously. I'm getting overprotective daddy vibes, but her smile is huge.

"They loved it for me. They're paying for my apartment out here and everything."

Okay, I didn't see that coming.

"I think they're hoping I'll get this out of my system and move back home though."

"Why?"

She giggles, swaying on her stool. "Because every time I speak with them, they ask if it's out of my system yet and if I'm moving back home."

Ah. So it's a different kind of controlling. My parents have always been great to me, but I saw firsthand how Madden had to deal with his. After his injury, when he decided going back and trying to rehab wasn't what he wanted, there were a lot of phone calls with his parents.

Guilt trips over the money they'd spent, emotional blackmail by saying the only way they could get away from work to come and see him is if he had a game on, and flat-out threats of being cut off was just some of the behavior I witnessed.

I wish I'd been able to stand up for him more and give him advice, but I'd never experienced anything like it before. I've always been so lucky to have a mom and dad who support me, through everything, and I know this won't be any different.

So I use what I know now to be there for Lisa like I wasn't there for Madden.

"Do you want to go home?"

She shakes her head dramatically. "I really like it here."

"Then don't."

"But … but …"

"Look, I'm sure your parents are great, but my friend was cut off by his because he wouldn't do what they wanted. They tried to control him, and I don't want that for you."

Her lips fall, and she swipes the rest of her beer and swallows it down before gagging at the taste. "Thanks, Penn."

Dryden and I trade a worried look. I had no idea tonight was going to get so weird or dip into this kind of territory, but here we are.

Dryden has to leave at six to get home to their kids, and I'm left with Lisa. Somehow, she's more drunk than she was before, and that's when I notice my beer, which I've hardly touched, is also empty.

"Did you drink this?" I ask her, worried I might laugh.

"No." She hiccups. "Yes."

"Damn, girl, you're drunk."

Her eyes get all big. "I've never been drunk before."

"Well, with how much you're slurring your words, I could have guessed it."

"Oh no. What if I die?"

Not so amused anymore. "What?"

"I've never had alcohol before. And I've heard all about alcohol poisoning and people having to have their stomachs pumped. What if I pass out and I'm home alone and no one is there to call an ambulance?—"

"Whoa. Stop. You've had two beers."

Her voice shakes. "Is that … is that okay? My head hurts."

"It's very unlikely you'd get alcohol poisoning from two beers." I think. I'm not a doctor, but that sounds right to me.

"Can I stay with you?" She's close to tears, and all I can do is stare at her.

With … me? "I don't think that's a good idea."

"My fingers are all tingly, and I can't feel my mouth. I'm freaking out here. Please, Penn?"

There is no fucking way in hell I'm letting her stay with me, and while we might work together, we don't actually know each other. Is Lisa really that sheltered that she doesn't even know about stranger danger?

"Is there anywhere I can drop you off? With a friend, maybe?"

"All my friends live on campus in the U District. They're always partying. It's loud. I don't like it."

Well, shit. I can't leave her alone, and I'm not taking her to my place …

An idea hits me, and I pull out my phone to call Lana.

She answers after only a few rings.

"Hey, I need a favor."

There's a very long pause, and she doesn't even break it to ask me what the favor is. "Fine. But you owe me about twenty by this point."