Chapter 22

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

OWEN

"Holy shit, this place is niiiiiiiice," Jakob said with a whistle. "Your baby daddy wants to get lucky when you get home."

Rory looked between Jakob and me with a bemused expression. The lodge's exterior was beautiful, with the imposing three-story structure dominating the landscape. Off in the distance, Alpine meadows were crisscrossed with lifts and pulls.

"I don't think Elizabeth considers either of us her Daddy." For Rory's benefit, I added, "I'm pretty certain she considers herself a coequal part of the relationship.

"You're in a sexless throuple with a cat?" Jakob asked with raised eyebrows. "Kinky, but no judgment."

On that note, we pushed through the front doors of the lodge, where we'd spend the next few days scoping out the competition. We had strict instructions to try as much as we could on the menu, order room service, test the spa services, and participate in as many excursions as possible over the next couple of days.

On Saturday, I was meeting with Tye, Quinn's foreman, over at Barrett's newly acquired lodge so we could do a general walkthrough. Of course we'd have to develop much more detailed plans later, but it was always helpful to talk about visions and possibilities before anything was demolished.

The resort's lobby was decorated with tasteful yet bland leather furnishings. Everything was nice, but there wasn't a sense of place for it. Nothing in the lodge anchored it to the pass or the Cascades. The exterior's natural setting was so breathtaking that the interior felt like a letdown.

We got checked in without fuss and headed to our rooms for a quick change. Our plan was to meet for a late lunch in the dining room before exploring any other lodge options.

We'd somehow managed to get our rooms on the same floor block. Half of us had the slope view, and the other had the town view. Both were lovely, although the rooms, like the lobby, were nondescript. The beautiful rough-hewn features from the exterior hadn't been carried inside.

I snapped a few pictures and jotted some notes for things to keep in mind. This place had better access to the slopes, but the view from Barrett's new lodge would be just as lovely.

I dumped my bags on the bed, changed out of my sweats into something more appropriate for a ski resort, and headed back out to the hallway to troop downstairs with Rory and Jakob. The sweet hostess led us to a table along the back wall so we had a great view of the slopes. In the distance, I could see people hiking along the trails and doing some late-season mountain biking. When the server came, we all picked different signature cocktails along with a snack, promising to share.

"Oh, I've never had a lavender gimlet," Rory said as he examined his drink. "It's pretty though."

"I've had a pina colada, but not layered like this," Jakob added. He was studying it like it had the answers to all the questions in the lab.

"I wasn't sure I'd like a smores cocktail, but I could be converted to a believer," I said as I licked the whipped cream off my lip. We sipped in companionable silence for a minute, just soaking in the place, but curiosity overtook me. "Jakob, how's your paper going in your lab?"

"Uh, it's going. I'm in the final editing stages, and it's rough. I know the science is sound, but we have to double-check absolutely everything, and it's friggin' tedious. But it's a start to get where I want to go."

"Where is that?" Rory asked.

"Right now, we are only pushing through really traditional lines for research, which is fine, and there's definitely a place for it, but I'd like to focus on more experimental options too. But the problem with experimental research is, well, it's experimental. You've got to get donors to open their wallets for serious money, even if some inquiries will lead to dead ends. It can be a hard sell."

"But haven't a lot of dead ends accidentally led to other stuff?" Rory stopped to think for a second before he continued, "I'm pretty sure I remember one of my high school science teachers talking about it, but I can't remember exactly what she said."

"She was right. Things like penicillin and X-rays are pretty well known, but there are a ton of others. Anyway, for us to follow wherever it leads, we need more donors, and you get more donors by writing more papers and getting published. Once we get a decent reputation, we have a better chance of getting grants."

Jakob turned to Rory. "And what about you? Tell me about life as a stay-at-home boyfriend."

Rory snorted his drink out his nose at the description. "It's pretty effing awesome, thanks," he said as he tried to mop up the mess with a napkin. "I love being able to travel with Gabe, and I think he likes it too. Nico, his assistant, has been amazing and helpful. When we were in England, he made arrangements for me to visit places I wanted to mention in the book. Gabe always said he'd be lost without him, and I can see why."

"How's the writing going?" Rory turned to me with a beaming smile before he answered.

"It's going really well. I've been doing writing sprints online, and it's really helping."

"Sprints?"

"Yeah, we all write for a little and then have this chat. It's helped me stay focused. Gabe is ridiculously supportive about all of it." He paused and looked to the ceiling, seemingly trying to control his emotions. "Sometimes, I can't believe this is my life, ya know? I'm not special, but I have this man who loves me more than anything, and his sole focus is making sure my needs are met. And all he wants in return is for me to love that caretaking. It's just…just…fucking awesome."

"Hey, now, you are special," I interjected. "And you deserve all happiness in the world." I reached out and squeezed Jakob's hand. "And you do too."

"Any contact with your folks?" Rory asked. His eyes hooded with concern.

"Nah," Jakob said with a shrug. "They said their piece, and I'm done trying to reach out. They know where to find me if they change their minds. I have Reed, my brothers to some degree, and you guys, so it's enough. I wish my parents would accept my choices, but they don't. I think I have the right to a life as I see it."

"What about Reed's family?" Rory asked Jakob.

"His parents and his brother, Cap, have always been supportive of us. Most of his aunts and uncles are nice enough, with a couple of glaring exceptions. His cousins talk so much shit to each other that it's hard to tell when they're being serious. One of them never talks to any of them, though, so he's probably my favorite, even if I've never said more than two words to him. Anyway, here's to found family."

"What should we do this afternoon? We have a couple of hours before dinner. Tomorrow, Barrett booked us into the spa all day. If I read the invoice correctly, we are scheduled to try everything in there."

"Everything?" Rory asked with raised eyebrows.

"Everything," I confirmed with an emphatic nod. "Facials, manis, pedis, salt bath, massage, the whole works."

"Man, rich people are wild," Jakob said with a snort, and Rory emphatically nodded.

"Well, yes, they are, but I know Barrett plans on the lodge being more an adult getaway and less a family option than some of the other properties in the company."

"We can already confirm the mixologist on staff is on point."

We all pulled out our phones and agreed that the petting zoo was an absolute must. We signed up for the trail ride on Friday since they had no openings for today, and none of us were sure what the protocol was for drinking before horseback riding anyway. After the petting zoo, we decided to take one of the walking trails rated as easy through the meadow and forest areas. According to the website, the halfway point had a waterfall.

The petting zoo was as adorable as expected. Rory and Jakob struggled to stay big, but they managed to do it. We all gave each other high-fives for making it happen. Even though I'd become more comfortable in the mindset between big and little, I wasn't drawn to it here. I just wanted to take selfies with baby goats and pet alpacas. The stables had draft horses for pulling sleighs and wagons, but they were off working, so we didn't get to see them.

Our hiking excursion was not as fun as we'd hoped. The trail was muddy, unmaintained, and uneven. It was advertised as easy, but the lack of maintenance made it a challenge. It was in a relatively flat part of the property, but I wasn't sure how difficult it would be to maintain it during the non-snowy months. The brochure advertised it as wheelchair accessible, but the ruts and roots would make that impossible. I have no idea if something like a paved trail was possible or feasible, but it would have made the hike navigable.

Still, we all wanted to see the waterfall, so we pressed on. It was as pretty as advertised. Rory and Jakob were splashing each other with freezing water and generally being silly, but I perched on a boulder. I snapped a quick picture of the waterfall and sent it to Barrett. To my surprise, it went through.

Barrett

Babe, that looks amazing.

Owen

Yeah, it's really pretty. I don't know if it'd be warm enough to go swimming in the summer.

Barrett

Up in the mountains? I know you call me Bear, but I'm not a polar bear.

Owen

Me neither, but the boys are having fun. pic of them playing near the waterfall

Barrett

It looks like they are having fun. I'll send it to their Daddies.

Owen

How's Elizabeth?

Barrett

Missing you, I think, but she's all right. She's keeping me company in the office. pic of Elizabeth curled on Barrett's lap

Owen

Oh. Em. Gee. She's so cute. I miss her too.

Barrett

I miss you. The house is too quiet without you here.

Owen

You lived alone for years.

Barrett

Yeah, I know, but that was before I knew what it'd be like to live with you.

Owen

Haha, well, I'll be going back to my little house soon, so I guess this is good practice.

Barrett

Something like that.

Owen

What's that mean?

Barrett

Nothing except I miss you and I love you.

Owen

I love you too, Bear

Gotta go before Jakob and Rory end up in the water.

Barrett

Go save them :) TTYL

"Anders! You made it!" Rory made a running start for his bestie, who managed to catch him despite the luggage slung over his shoulders. Rory smiled up at his friend with absolute adoration, but Rory and Anders had both said they'd never had an ounce of sexual attraction toward each other. They'd been friends since the second grade and were still inseparable. I think Gabe had to accept they were a package deal when he first met Rory.

"I'm so happy to see you. Thank you for coming. You must have gotten up at the crack of dawn to get here this early." Barrett had booked the room to include Wednesday, hoping Anders would be able to make it at the last minute.

"Yeah, I left at around five-thirty in case there was traffic out of Seattle because there's always traffic out of Seattle. After I got through that nonsense, it was an easy drive, so no worries."

"Did, uhhh, anyone give you a hard time about being gone?" Rory's tone hinted he already knew the answer.

"It is what it is." Anders sighed. "He wasn't happy about me takin two days off, but I put my foot down."

"Are you going to have a job when you get back?"

"I sure as fuck hope so."

Anders became engrossed in the brochures stacked in a display case beside him and took several deep, steadying breaths. I guess that was the end of the discussion. It didn't make sense to me why he stayed when several people, including Barrett, had offered him another position. After composing himself, he turned back around and said, "He was upset that I'll be spending time with people outside of him or his family."

"But he's always invited."

"Yeah, I know. And when I say I won't go, he demands I do and says if I don't, I'll claim he's being unfair. But when I do, he claims I'm deliberately ignoring and excluding him. It doesn't make any sense, and I don't want to spend the next two days rehashing it."

Anders plastered on what was obviously a fake smile before he added, "Can you believe I've never been to a spa? I don't even know where I'm supposed to go or what I'm supposed to do."

"Totally fine. Our lips are sealed completely." I turned to look at Jakob and Rory with a raised brow. "Right?"

They both nodded their agreement, but I didn't miss Rory's scowl. I felt the same, and I knew he'd been down a longer road with Anders than me. But if that was what Anders wanted, I'd do my best to give it to him. "Our spa appointment is in about twenty minutes. Anders, do you need to grab some food?"

"Nah, I grabbed something on the road. I do need to stash my bag. Can I leave it in someone's room until mine is ready?"

"Your room is ready. I checked you in yesterday since we didn't know when you'd make it. The key is in my room," I told him. "Let's drop off your stuff. Rory and Jakob, do you want to meet us at the spa?"

"Yes, yes, yes." Jakob bounced on his heels while trying hard to control his excitement. "It's going to be so great."

"Sleepover!"

"Oh my goodness, can we really?"

"This feels like a mistake. Jakob, your happy dances seem to come with a lot more flailing."

"Papa says my expression of joys are my own."

"Yeah, what else does he say?"

"Well, I mean, it's not that important."

"Oh no, Owen and Anders would very much like to know." Jakob looked over at us, and we nodded in unison. "See? They want to know."

"Fine," Jakob said with a roll of his eyes. "Papa says if I don't pay attention, he's going to help me find my body parts when he spanks my ass."

That sent all of us into hoots of laughter. Jakob was ridiculous. His Papa and he played this silly game where he pretended not to like spankings and his Papa pretended it made him sad to give one. All nonsense because they both loved them.

"I'm happy to be a babysitter, but we have the all-day trail ride and picnic early, so we can't stay up all night eating junk food and watching movies," Anders said with a wag of his finger. "Barrett said we were supposed to try the room service, though, so maybe we should eat in the room while we watch one movie."

"Three movies!" shouted Jakob and Rory.

"One movie, and if you give me a hard time, I'm texting all your Daddies."

"Owen, we'll let you be the tiebreaker. We should watch three movies, right?" All eyes turned to me and waited for me to answer.

"How about two movies? For the first movie, we'll order dinner, and for the second movie, we'll order dessert?"

" Whoop. Whoop. " Jakob did his happy dance, and Rory joined in. Honestly, it looked adorably awful because neither one of them had any rhythm. "Peanut butter jammy time…"

"Hey, hold up," Anders called as the boys wound up for another mangled verse. "Owen, are you okay with this? You have every right to your boundaries, and we need to respect them." He cast a stern glance at the other boys. "Isn't that right, boys? "

"Yes, Anders." Rory valiantly tried to hold on to his big head space. Jakob stood beside him and nodded too.

I drew a deep breath before I answered him. This was the point, right? To be accepting of my space and kink. More than an entire decade had been wasted without Da in my bed because of misplaced, or at least mismanaged, fear.

If these men, who had been nothing but kind and supportive since the day I'd met them, couldn't be trusted, then what the fuck was I doing with them? All my efforts have been channeled into protecting myself, but I hadn't been any happier sitting at home isolated.

And, dammit, every single play date invitation I'd declined was another stab to my heart. "A play date sounds nice. I can go change in my room and come back."

Anders wrapped me in a tight squeeze. "I'm so damn proud of you," he whispered. "Thank you for trusting us."

Rory and Jakob wrapped themselves around us, too, and it was a giant hug, and then the tears came, and then Jakob and Anders and Rory were full-on crying. It was a mess, and once I realized how utterly absurd it was, the giggles started. That created an avalanche in the opposite direction.

Anders, because he was the only one left with some sense, gave us our marching orders. "Boys, go and get changed into your pajamas or onesies or whatever you're most comfy in. Bring back the toys, babies, blankies, bottles, sippy cups, binkies, and whatever else you need for a sleepover. You've got five minutes, or I'm coming to find you. I'll leave my door open so you don't have to knock. When you're back, we'll pick out our movies and order dinner. Deal?"

Anders ruffled our hair on our way past him out the door. I was last in line and he stopped before I could go. "Owen, in all seriousness, are you okay with this? The boys are adults and don't need a babysitter. If you want to bow out, we can go hang out, and they'll be fine on their own."

"Anders, I told myself I wouldn't say anything, but that fuckwit doesn't deserve you." I gave him a quick hug and added, "I'm going to try, and if it's too much, could you call Bear for me?"

"Absolutely, I will," Anders said when he ruffled my hair again. "I'm proud of you."

"I kinda am too."

"Whose idea was it to spend all day on the back of a horse? In hindsight, it seems like a really shitty plan."

Every single one of us regretted our life choices this morning. Thursday evening had ended as a real sleepover because we were all too tired to move and ended up crashing all over Anders's room. We'd gorged ourselves on room service burgers and pizza, followed by banana splits with sprinkles. The next morning, we'd dragged our sugar-hungover selves down to the stables for the all-day trail ride and picnic.

None of us particularly enjoyed working out, except Anders with his yoga and spin classes, and I was well on my way to a dad bod. Maybe we should have known how bad it would hurt, but we'd underestimated the impact on our bodies by approximately one thousand percent.

"Are any of us even horse people?" Rory asked.

He'd fallen off so many times that he swore his butt was a solid shade of blue. I took his word for it, but I had no doubt he was telling the truth.

"I am, maybe? I think they are cute," Jakob said, looking at Rory's slack jaw expression. "What? They are cute in the field. "

"Pretty sure this was a one-and-done for me. Next time, I'll sign up for the wagon ride," I said with a decisive nod.

Every muscle in my body ached. Even muscles I never knew existed hurt. Really, I just wanted to go home and let Bear make me feel better.

After we finished our round-robin of complaints about how much we hurt, our breakfast was ready. Thankfully, the pancakes and bacon, plus a few pots of coffee, helped us move on. Unlike the others, I didn't have all morning to chat around the table. I'd made arrangements to meet Tye over at the lodge and do a walkthrough. The rest of them were going to head back to town so they could get ready for the Halloween party at Wilde Dandies.

"All right, I'm going to turn in my keys and head to the lodge to meet Tye."

"You know," Jakob said with his chin propped up on this hand, "fixing the auction was one of our better moves."

Uh, what?

"I know, right? It was genius. When you and Barrett are old and gray, you can thank us."

"You fixed the auction?" My gaze darted between both of them. "How was that?"

"Oh, we had the bids and told Barrett he'd have to pay triple the highest bid if he wanted to be the top bidder." The guys high-fived each other and were completely oblivious to my reaction to their news.

"Anders, did you know about this?"

"I knew they intended to offer their plan to Barrett, and I told them it was a bad idea because you are a very private person. If a move was to be made, it should have come from you, and that's why I didn't go to the lunch with them."

Anders shot a look at Rory and Jakob. It had started to settle in on them that I wasn't happy with their meddling .

"Did you ask if I wanted that?"

"Well, I mean…" Jakob glanced helplessly at Rory. "You two are obviously meant for each other. We've been shipping you since we met." It had finally sunk in that I was unhappy with both of them.

"Did I ask you to do that?"

"Is this about the auction?" Rory asked.

"This is about the fact that you two decided you knew what was best for me. It's not okay. And, no, it doesn't matter that it worked out. Honestly, yes, it's a little bit about the auction. Do you know how proud I was?"

The boys shook their heads.

"Well, I was. And now it's nothing to be proud of because it was just a purchased date. I thought he outbid someone who really did want my designs. It's absolutely nothing to be proud of. I do love Barrett, but no one, him or you, gets to manipulate my life. I won't stand for it."

I stood from the table. Absolutely, I was angry at all of them, a lot less at Anders, but I still had a job to complete.

"I'm going to ask that you don't mention this to Barrett. At the very least, I should get to tell him about being pissed on my own terms."

In the middle of my attempted grand exit, my phone buzzed.

Quinn

Hey, Owen. Tye has to cancel this morning. We'll reach out to reschedule. Sorry for the late notice.

Fan-fucking-tastic.