Chapter 23

Gabriel had just been about to call Rowan and say he had gotten out of work early when he got the text from Rowan saying he was meeting his dad. He was simultaneously disappointed and relieved. Happy he seemed to be repairing his relationship with Philip, but wished he was going to see his boy sooner. Gabriel rolled his eyes. He had it so bad. He was completely besotted with Rowan and couldn't wait to spend the rest of their lives together.

And yes, that was instalove right there. He'd done a little bit of research for his second writing project and, with his own experience of BDSM and the stark vulnerability you often found in the scene, he knew deep connections were made quickly. He chuckled as he parked the car and ran up the steps. He really wanted to get their own place and although finances might be tight since he'd just quit his job, just because he couldn't afford to build a house didn't mean he couldn't look for another rental better suited for them. That way, they could get a dog earlier. And the first stop for that would be the pound, or the shelter, whatever they called it. He had a feeling Rowan wanted to stay at home, and he wanted Rowan to have protection, and knew Rowan would love the hell out of a dog.

He would still have to look for something else though. He didn't have the funds to last longer than around four months, and he supposed quitting had been irresponsible. Not that he could find it in him to regret it. They'd figure something out.

He opened the door and was immediately beset by how fucking empty it was. Rowan had only been there two weeks, and he missed him already. He had at least an hour before Rowan got home, and wondered if he'd read his books, eager and yet dreading his opinion. Maybe he could get some writing done now while he was waiting on him to get back?

Gabriel made himself a coffee, then he started looking for his e-reader. He wanted to read the books to get a feel for the story first, before he even thought about new words, and it took some hunting, but he finally found it in the desk he'd shoved under the window. There was only one drawer, and he pulled it out along with what must have been thirty pages of handwritten something. He started reading and his eyes widened. He didn't recognize Rowan's writing, but this had to be his, and from the look of it…he thumbed through the pages. Wow, it was almost like Rowan had done a developmental edit. Fuck, could Rowan be any more talented if he tried?

Gabriel sank down into his favorite chair and started reading his story along with the notes. After an hour, he stopped and simply rested his head back and stared at the ceiling. Rowan had nailed it. He'd known how Gabriel's character should react to being betrayed by his best-friend and questioned Gabriel's choice. He hadn't liked that part and never knew why. Now he did. He'd gone for edgy over character development and that's why it had seemed wrong.

Excited, he carried on reading both the story and the notes, and while there were some things he didn't understand and would have to ask Rowan about, everything else Rowan had written was spot-on, and he envisioned cold winter nights with Rowan sprawled naked over his lap and well-fucked while they debated plot points. He chuckled. Maybe not.

Gabriel's phone ringing brought him out of a battle scene, and he absently snatched it up. "Yep?"

"Gabriel?" He focused upon hearing Philip Wilson's voice and glanced at the time. It was around two hours after Gabe had gotten home. Philip was probably calling to say they were delayed, but as he glanced at his phone, he was surprised he hadn't had any recent texts from Rowan.

"Sir?" he responded respectfully.

"Can I talk to Rowan? You're both gonna need to hear this. I'm assuming Rowan told you what Janice has done now?"

Dread curled low in Gabriel's stomach. "He's not here. I thought he was with you?"

There was a pause, then Philip nearly yelled. "I brought him back over two hours ago. He's not there? But I dropped him at your place."

Gabriel stood and gripped the phone, heading for his shoes. "You saw him actually come inside?"

Philip sighed and explained everything.

"Fuck," Gabriel said. Could his boy not get a damn break?

"I'm forty minutes away, but I can get in the car now."

But Rowan's car was there, which meant he was on foot. Why not come in? "Exactly what time did you bring him back?"

Philip was silent for a moment then said, "Three pm, or as good as. I made the call to the detectives at two thirty-five."

But Gabriel had been home by then, and if Philip had dropped him at the door, Rowan would have known that. So why the fuck hadn't he come home? "What was Rowan like when you left him?"

Philip swore. "He apologized, but I told him this wasn't his fault." But would he have believed it? He carried an awful lot of guilt. Gabriel could see him blaming himself.

"Gabriel, I can head out there."

"He hasn't taken his car," Gabriel confirmed. "Let me look first in case he's gone for a walk to clear his head. I'll call you either way very soon."

Philip reluctantly agreed, and Gabe grabbed his keys. He would drive around first, then head up to the development he'd shown Rowan. The one surrounded by walking trails. Just in case, he called Patrick and Jensen. Both their boys were accounted for and hadn't heard from Rowan. He debated, but then called Eric. Eric's phone went right to voicemail and then when he got hold of Killian, he confirmed Eric was in class. Killian was concerned and offered to help, even when Gabe tried to play it down. Looked like he had another call to make when he found Rowan.

Because he didn't doubt he would find him. Gabriel wouldn't accept another alternative.

He did.

Forty minutes later, he drove down the dirt road leading to the plot he had a deposit on and caught sight of a hunched figure disappearing around a lake that would be the backdrop to the property. He slammed on the brakes, lurched from the car, and took off sprinting, catching up to Rowan before he realized Gabriel was there.

He yanked Rowan around to face him, and took in the tear-streaked face and the swollen, red-rimmed eyes and the running nose Rowan swiped at, and fell in love with his baby boy all over again. He couldn't even speak for a moment, just clutched Rowan to his chest and thanked fuck he'd found him. It would have started to get dark in another hour.

He didn't bother saying anything, just got Rowan into the car and sent a text to everyone to say he'd found him and he was safe, then ignored the replies when he put his phone on silent. Knowing he was angry, and knowing that was the worst thing a Dom could be, he waited until they got home and he'd calmed down. He led Rowan into the apartment and made him sit on the sofa. "What were you doing?" he finally asked.

Rowan looked at him like the end of the world had happened and it was all his fault.

"I spoke to your dad," Gabriel added. "I can't imagine how utterly fucked up it is to know Janice did this, but he told me he dropped you back here over two hours ago." He watched the stricken look come over Rowan. "Why didn't you come in? You must have seen my car." He didn't understand and was trying not to sound confrontational.

Rowan's hands twisted in his lap, and seeing it, Gabriel resisted the urge to still them. This wasn't about comfort. This was about their future and they both had to step up, not run away, no matter how justified Rowan felt it was. No matter how battered he was. Fuck, Gabriel ached to reach his arms around him and hold him close. Kiss everything better. Be the salve on every tiny injury. But Rowan clearly didn't trust him. Whatever had happened this afternoon demonstrated that.

Gabriel just wasn't sure how much more he could do to prove himself.

Fuck confrontational.With a hurt noise in the back of his throat, he reached down, plucked Rowan up, and settled his ass down with Rowan cuddled in his arms. It was a start. "What have I ever done to give you the impression I don't want all of you?"

Rowan stifled a sob. Gabe could hear him. "I'm pathetic."

He processed that. "Says who?"

Rowan looked at him as if he was the most exasperating thing on the planet, then he sighed. "I'm no good for you."

Gabriel nodded. "Says who?" he repeated.

Rowan seemed to be nonplussed at that and suddenly Gabe knew what to do. It was time to let his Dom out to play. He'd skirted around this, trying to find his feet. The happy medium. Well, that clearly wasn't working for either of them. "What's your safeword, baby boy?

He watched the long swallow travel down Rowan's throat. "Red," he whispered.

"Good, then unless you use it, you just failed in doing the one thing you were charged with, and you are going to be punished." Gabriel watched the anxiety bleed into Rowan's expression, but this was make it or break it for them. "Strip."

Rowan hesitated a few seconds, but he could see him hang onto his last tiny bit of hope for them before he undressed. Gabriel knew he had him. He knew Rowan wanted to believe what he was promising was true, even though his fucking mother had managed to put doubt there without even being present. Gabriel was sick of battling an enemy he didn't know. But Rowan's confidence, or lack thereof, he did.

And as a Dom, that was something he could fight and win.

Gabriel watched as he stripped, deliberately leaving himself fully dressed, and saw the hesitation when he got to his briefs. "All off," Gabriel reminded him and waited as if he expected immediate obedience, which he did. When Rowan stood naked in front of him, lower lip trembling, hands twisting, and Gabe wanted to wrap him up against the world, but they both needed this first. "Fuck, but you're beautiful," he said in awe, and watched Rowan's pupils widen in pleasure. Gabriel sat on the bed, his feet on the floor, and met his eyes. "Lie across my lap, face down."

He watched alarm move across Rowan's features, but that was quickly chased by a hitch of breath, a lick of his lips, and those big eyes fixating on him. Oh yeah, he liked this idea. He was scared, but there was something in him that was intrigued. Gabriel waited out his indecision, his fear, and eventually Rowan crossed to him and glanced down as if he was unsure how to lie down. Gabriel resolved the problem for him, and tugged him on his lap, making sure his cock wasn't trapped, catching the quick inhale and breathing him in. "What did I tell you to always do?"

Rowan's breath hitched, but Gabriel answered for him.

"You failed to protect my most important possession. That's you. It would have gotten dark in an hour, and you could have gotten cold or lost. You could have gotten hurt, and I can't ever allow that to happen."

By the gasp, Gabriel knew that hadn't been what he'd been expecting. Probably some bullshit about running away, but this wasn't about disobedience. This was about trust. It was about faith. It was about showing him Gabriel would always have his back no matter what life threw at them, and there would be plenty.

The first crack of Gabriel's hand made Rowan jump. He knew shock rather than pain would be the dominant feeling until they got to about number four. By that time, it wouldn't be about humiliation, it would just fucking hurt. Gabriel thought he would safeword at six, but then at seven something unexpected happened. A tiny moan left Rowan's lips as Gabriel stroked his palm over the welts. Curiosity piqued, he trailed his fingers down Rowan's crack. Another tiny moan escaped as he stroked Rowan's red ass and, if Gabriel's hands weren't otherwise occupied he would have fist-pumped when Rowan pushed up into his hand. Gabriel could feel Rowan's cock plumping beneath him. He quickly delivered another two and Rowan's cry was stunning, just like the rest of him. Gabriel scraped his nails lightly over the marks and Rowan cried out again, but humped against him, lost in pleasure. Dragging it out another second, Gabriel delivered two more, leaned down, and murmured. "That's eleven. You get an extra one for being such a good boy for Daddy." And that was about all Rowan could take. With a finger trailing over his taint and down to his balls as Gabriel cupped them, Rowan cried out and came hard.

It took a while for Rowan to become aware of what had happened. He was a limp noodle and could barely manage any response while Gabriel got him cleaned up, the cream applied, especially to the new sore parts, and in bed with a glass of water waiting for him. He doubted he'd eaten since lunch, but Rowan was flying still, and he needed to watch for sub-drop, especially as Rowan was so vulnerable.

"Baby boy," Gabriel started. "Why did you run from Daddy?" Because he had. Whatever dressing they put on it, Rowan had been scared, and Gabriel needed to know why.

Rowan sighed and mumbled, "Because you don't love me."

Gabriel froze. What the fuck? How had whatever happened led to him doubting how much he was loved? Gabriel took a long, slow breath and tried to make his voice even. "What makes you say that?"

"Because all I'm good for is being little. Mother never let me grow up, and it's like I can't do anything. You don't want to be stuck with me."

Gabriel made Rowan drink some water while he formulated a plan. Rowan was clearly afraid of or imagined Gabriel was going to replace his mother. He tried to keep his disgusted scoff quiet but wasn't sure he managed it. Maybe he needed to pivot—he smiled to himself.

"I found the notes you made on The Mage."

As Gabriel had figured, the abrupt change in subject knocked Rowan out of his haze. In the future, he would cuddle a blissed-out Rowan, but they had to get this straight first. "What?" Rowan echoed, probably scrambling for coherence.

"What made you think Raisa needed an extra mage power? He seems to be having enough trouble containing the ones he has, and where does he develop these from?" It took him a second, well a few seconds, but then with increasing eagerness Rowan explained how Gabriel could make Raisa one of the most powerful mages of his time, and ready to face the demon lord, win the battle for his prince, and save the kingdom, even if that didn't happen until the next book, or even a trilogy.

"Of course, Raisa and Eras have to fall in love," Rowan said as an almost off-hand comment. "Because Eras is the one that gives Raisa the power."

"The prince?" Gabe pressed, his heart beating harder. "But Eras doesn't have magic and Raisa is a lowly apprentice."

Rowan shook his head. "But you need character growth. What if he only truly becomes powerful when he meets the prince? What if it's their love that makes it happen?"

"And you don't think that's too far-fetched?" Gabriel pushed. "He's only going to meet the prince if he manages to get past all the guards. And a man who cooks and cleans for the most powerful wizards in the kingdom could help his prince win a war? That it's actually the lowly apprentice that holds all the real power?"

A small silence followed his questions and Gabriel smiled, knowing Rowan had gotten it, because his darling boy was intelligent and that was such a huge turn-on to Gabriel. "No," Rowan said very quietly. "I just think Raisa has to be brave enough to try."

Gabriel kissed the top of Rowan's head. "Good answer."