Chapter 20

Rowan knew he had to make a decision, but he really, really, didn't want to. They'd had a wonderful weekend and reluctantly, Daddy had said he had to go into work to speak to his boss about quitting. Rowan had spent all morning thinking about college, his life, his mother. He wasn't allowed to see her, or no, that wasn't strictly true. The restraining order said she wasn't allowed to see him, specifically to come within 500 feet of him. He didn't know what to do about college, either. Rowan finally checked the group chat he was in with his college friends and a couple of them expressed relief at him getting in touch.

Which had confused him as he wasn't ever big on participation, but apparently something had happened.

OMG Rowan, r u ok?

Rowan gazed at the private message Killian had sent. Killian was one of the few people that had stayed in touch with Rowan after he had stopped going to the study group. It had never been on a Friday, but he'd always known he wouldn't be permitted to go out midweek. The times he'd made it were the occasional Sunday and if classes finished early.

Yes. I'm ok.

He had no idea what to say.

Ur mom has been to campus twice. She went to admin, and she's been to Eric's.

Rowan froze. Mother had been to campus. And Eric? He knew Eric from elementary school. They lived fairly close, and Mother would know where that was. She was going to his friends' houses? That was… an absolute nightmare, and Rowan cringed when he imagined what she'd been saying. She'd use his condition first then casually drop in that she was worried because he'd taken her sleeping pills, accidentally of course. She'd leave the inference hanging. She'd mention therapy like it was a dirty word and "specialized help."

And by the time she left, Eric's parents would be ready to call the cops if they saw him and make sure Rowan never went anywhere near their son. He knew exactly what she'd say because he'd witnessed it. With other parents. Neighbors. Teachers. It was strange but now that the blinders of complete certainty that she was protecting him had fallen from his eyes, he could see each interaction for what it was. Every friend he'd ever had, she'd systematically broken them apart.

Had she hated him that much? Why didn't she want him to have friends?

Which brought him back to his decision. Reluctantly, Daddy had left to go see his boss. Rowan knew he hadn't liked leaving Rowan alone, but Charlie was at work, and Daddy Jensen had a meeting and Dash wouldn't come out without him. But that was okay. Rowan was used to his own company most weekends. Had wished for it most weeks, and he was perfectly capable of staying at home by himself. Well, not completely by himself. He had both bears and Frog for company and Daddy had agreed he could use the time to watch TV, color, or think about college. Then they would talk together when he got home. Daddy had said absolutely no pressure, but that was why he'd logged on to the chat in the first place.

What did Eric say? Did he ever want to talk to Rowan again?

He's cool. Wishes u were here. Says ty for help in linear algebra.

Rowan had loved helping his friends.

Why don't u come? Eric's today at 4.

Rowan glanced at the clock. Just after two. But Eric's? After his mother had been there? And Daddy wouldn't be home until six. Not that Daddy would stop him. He might worry whether Rowan was safe, but Rowan missed Killian and Eric. Missed helping them. He could ask them about school. See if they had any suggestions. But what if Eric didn't want anything to do with him?

Eric says his mom's at work so it will be just us.

Rowan was tempted. He gazed at his phone. He wasn't going to call Daddy because he was in an important meeting, but he'd promised Daddy to always tell him where he was and quickly typed a text. He gave Eric's address. There. Now Daddy wouldn't worry. Which was important, and Rowan loved that Daddy cared.

Rowan took a shower and dressed carefully. He put on one of his new pads, the much slimmer ones that just slid into the cute superman briefs Daddy had bought him, and made sure he had a spare just in case, then picked up his keys and locked the door very carefully with the brand-new key Daddy had made for him. Ignoring his nerves was easier said than done, but he knew Killian and Eric, and Daddy had said friends were important. He'd even told Rowan they were welcome to come and visit him. And look at him. Going out on his own. Daddy might even be proud of him.

Rowan carefully started his car. Daddy had been checking it and starting it since the night he'd driven it here so the battery wouldn't die. Rowan paused. He was so lucky. He didn't know how he'd ever gotten this lucky. He desperately wanted Daddy to be proud of him, but he didn't know how to make that happen. Would Daddy think he was lazy if he didn't work? He wasn't lazy, but he didn't know what to do. He would work really hard to make their home perfect. Daddy would be able to write his words and Rowan would make the house a proper home. He really wanted to learn to cook more exciting meals. He'd spent six years baking bland chicken and fish and they were so boring. Dash had offered to give him lessons. He had good friends.

Rowan put all other thoughts out of his head as he drove to Eric's and found he was quite looking forward to it.

Twenty minutes later, Rowan wasn't so sure because Eric's mom arrived home a moment after he pulled up. She was a professor, and apparently she had canceled her last class, and he wasn't sure which one of them was the most surprised to see the other. Killian and Eric soon rescued him though, and after a polite greeting, he was shown up to Eric's room.

Rowan managed to dodge a lot of questions. He admitted his boyfriend was a little older than him and his mother had freaked out. It sounded like she was worried about Daddy being older, and not the real reason. Killian teased him for a few minutes but didn't say anything hurtful. If anything, he sounded intrigued. They'd both got a final year to finish their BS, unlike Rowan, and while Killian was interested in computer engineering and had secured a private scholarship, Eric seemed to be interested in teaching.

"Rowan," Eric said after he'd helped Eric with a problem, "you know your mom's been here?"

Rowan swallowed. "Killian said."

"Why is she so worried about you?"

Killian leaned forward. "We know you have problems…" he waved his hand in the general direction of Rowan's pants and flushed. "but it never made any difference to us."

"We just want you to be okay," Eric said. "You helped me pass last year, and more than that, I enjoy hanging out with you."

Rowan's throat seemed to close automatically, but he glanced between both earnest faces and realized he'd been wrong not to trust them with more. He wouldn't share everything, but he told them about his mom, and the little girl, and his cancer.

They were both horrified, and Eric nudged him. "I wish we'd known. I would have hung out with you more." He wished that too. "Why doesn't she like you having a boyfriend?" Eric asked. "Is she homophobic?"

"No," Killian butted in. "I think it's because she can't control you."

"My dad's helping me as well. He's met Gabriel." It sounded wrong calling Daddy that, but he knew Daddy would want him to feel comfortable with his friends. He squirmed a little. "I've gotten a restraining order on her."

"Go you," Killian said and high-fived Rowan. So, Rowan got even more brave and shared that he didn't know what to do about a job.

"Well, I know you're not keen on teaching a bunch of kids, but you rock at one on one," Killian said. "Loads of kids need extra help with math, and you're pretty good at English as well."

"You are," Eric said. "You used to help kids when we were younger. Even if it wasn't voluntary." Rowan blushed. Writing essays had been one way to stop the bullies.

Killian frowned. "Not sure how much it would pay." Rowan didn't say that didn't matter, but it gave him a lot to think about as he gladly helped them both with an assignment, then glanced at his phone and smiled. Daddy had replied, telling him to drive safely but to have fun. He also said he could pick Rowan up if he didn't want to have to drive home, and they could collect his car the next day. It made him feel all warm inside.

He was just thinking he ought to leave when Eric's mom called up the stairs, asking if they could come down. Eric glanced at his phone. "Early for supper," he noted, but shrugged, and they all gathered their books. Rowan walked down between Killian and Eric, so when he got to the bottom of the stairs and heard the voice from his nightmares, he came to such a sudden stop that Killian ran into him.

He didn't feel it, though. He was too busy staring in horror at the woman who had made his life a misery.

"Rowan, darling," Mother said. "I've been so worried." Her hand flew to her mouth as if she was biting back a sob.

"Mom," Eric whispered, looking at his mother. "What did you do?"

Eric's mom frowned. "Eric, Rowan's very vulnerable—"

"And Rowan's mom is currently violating a restraining order," Killian said, coming to stand in front of Rowan like some sort of guard. But Rowan barely heard them. It was ruined. He'd never be able to show his face here again.

"A restraining order?"Eric's mom gasped.

And of course, because it just had to happen, Eric's dad walked into the house in time to catch his wife's words. "Who's got a restraining order?"

"Rowan has one against his mom," Eric said, "and she shouldn't be here."

John Cartwright's eyebrows flew up, and he turned to Rowan's mother. "Then I'm afraid I will have to ask you to leave, or I will have to call the cops."

"Rowan," Mother wailed and started sobbing. "How could you? After all I've done? After all I've sacrificed?"

Guilt clutched Rowan like a vise. He hated this, but she was his mother. She had—

Eric's mom gestured to Eric. "Please take Rowan upstairs, darling, and call someone for him. We'll deal with this."

"You ungrateful, pathetic, child," Mother spat out, all tears gone. "No one else would have ever put up with such a lazy, incompetent—

"That's enough," John boomed out and actually managed to shut her up. Rowan barely seemed able to get his legs to work, but Eric got him upstairs and Killian grabbed his phone. "Let me call your dad. You can't drive home like this."

"I'm so sorry," Eric said. "Mom didn't know."

No, and Mother had manipulated her in exactly the same way as she had done so many others.

"Hi, is this Rowan's dad?" Rowan looked up at Killian. He didn't want him calling his dad—

"No, this is Gabriel. Who's this?" Killian had it on speaker and Rowan would have gasped, but his lungs seized. Killian had looked at his few contacts and called "Daddy" rather than "Father."

Killian's eyebrows shot up and amusement crinkled his eyes. Rowan wanted to die. Right there. Right then.

"This is Killian, Rowan's friend from college. Rowan's bitch of a mother turned up at Eric's and started shouting her mouth off. I think—"

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes," Daddy almost growled the response. "Do not let Rowan leave."

"Oh, I won't," Killian said, but he was talking to himself as Daddy had already hung up.

Killian took in Rowan's scarlet face. "You lucky fuck. You've got a Daddy. Okay, where did you meet and how can I get one?"