Chapter 6

My mind filled with conflicting thoughts as the car sped away from the hotel the following day. The ivy-covered walls disappeared from view, but the image of the man I loathed remained.

What the hell had I been thinking, forcing Duke against the wall and kissing the shit out of him?

But he’d been as turned on as I was and had returned the kiss with vigour. The thought of his thick lips moving against mine, his tongue as it invaded my mouth, had me wanting more.

My mind was hazy as to how we’d ended up in that position, but I couldn’t forget the push and pull, the ferocity of him as he claimed my mouth. I’d started off wanting to dominate him, to force him into some kind of submission, only to find myself surrendering to his authority.

He had the air of a man who didn’t take no for an answer, not at all like the boy I knew all those years ago.

He’d been timid then, only coming out of his shell if he knew you well, which, of course, he had. He and Robbie had been friends for years.

Whatever happened to him after he left home had changed him, and I was curious to discover what that was.

Why did I care so much? Why was I sitting here, unable to get him out of my head?

I touched my mouth, still able to feel the ghost of his lips against mine. I licked them, but the taste of him was gone.

I’d lain awake all night, tossing and turning. Guilt eating at me. He was the guy who had thrown all our lives into turmoil.

He’d ruined the life we’d had, especially Robbie’s, and I’d hated him for so long. I never imagined I’d ever feel anything but that. Seeing him, though, tasting his lips, feeling the hard press of his body against mine, it had distorted every thought I’d had since the accident.

“Where to Mr Fletcher?” the driver asked.

“What did Dexter say?” No doubt he had plans for me.

“To take you wherever you wanted to go.” Crystal-clear blue eyes stared at me through the rear-view mirror. Once upon a time, I might have asked him to pull over somewhere secluded. I was a sucker for blue eyes, but now, I only wanted the dark chocolate-brown eyes of the man that had ruined my life staring back at me.

“Take me to see my brother,” I ordered him and closed the privacy glass. I wanted to be alone in my head, to make sense of what I was feeling.

I knew seeing Robbie would reaffirm my hatred, and I wasn’t wrong.

By the time we arrived home, Robbie was in the middle of one of his physio sessions. Despite not being able to walk, Carlos, his physiotherapist, would come in to work with him. He’d push him hard, doing his best to keep him active.

“You’re a bastard.” Robbie’s voice rang out, followed by the deep rumble of Carlos’s laughter.

“I’m here to help you. Stop being a baby.”

“Don’t call me a fucking baby, you sadist!”

They did this every time. Robbie would drip with sweat, and he’d fume, hating every moment, blaming Carlos for every aching muscle.

Carlos would watch him closely, laughing at his childish tantrums. Despite this, they were great friends, and when the punishment, as Robbie called it, was done, they’d play X-box with Robbie beating Carlos every time.

“Robbie,” I shouted and made my way into the gym I’d had built for him.

He sat on the lat machine, facing inwards. Carlos stood behind him, supporting him in case he fell.

“Get rid of him, Simon. He’s trying to kill me,” he whined.

“Alright, Carlos?” I asked.

He nodded at me, smiling. “Everything is fine, Mr Fletcher,” he said in his heavily accented voice. Originally from Spain, Carlos had moved here ten years ago with his parents when he was about fourteen. He wasn’t bad looking with long black hair tied into a ponytail at his neck, tanned skin and dark eyes.

“Robbie here is acting like a baby that has lost his toy.”

I watched with amusement as Robbie cursed through the remaining sets. His upper body was powerful, but his legs were weak and lifeless.

“Are you almost done?” I wanted to talk to him.

“We’d better be,” Robbie said. “I want a new physio. Carlos takes far too much enjoyment from my pain.”

Carlos turned and winked. “That’s what sadists do, Robbie. You know you love it.”

I didn’t miss Carlos’s hand as it stroked down Robbie’s side, and I wondered if there was more to their relationship.

“I’ll be in the conservatory. Come find me when you’re done.”

I went to the kitchen and poured myself a drink. It was always good to be here. We’d moved when money had allowed, and the house my parents and Robbie now lived in sat overlooking farmland. At first, I’d been reluctant to buy it, but it ticked all the boxes, including sufficient room for a wet room, downstairs bedroom and home gym.

For all my parents’ displeasure at my career choice, they loved the perks it brought.

I opened the conservatory doors and let in some fresh air. I breathed deeply. The air was warm but clean, much better than in the city where I had my place.

I’d come here when time allowed and rest, taking in the country air.

The sounds of the country soothed me, a tractor, the sound of cows in the distance, and I closed my eyes, taking it all in.

Wind rustled through the trees, and once again, I was at peace.

Robbie entered a while later, fresh from the shower, his hair still wet. Carlos followed, carrying two glasses of water, and sat opposite me.

“I thought you were working?” Robbie asked, bringing his electric wheelchair to a halt by the open door.

“I was supposed to be resting. Dexter booked me into a spa for a week of relaxation.” I took a sip of the cool water, and my mind wandered to the previous day and Duke’s kiss.

“Why aren’t you still there?”

“I had a run-in with one of the staff.”

“Did you fuck them?” Robbie laughed. “You usually fuck them.”

“Jesus, Robbie. It’s not all about sex.”

“You’re a porn star, of course it is.”

“Well, I didn’t fuck this one. I was more inclined to kill him.”

“I’m intrigued. Tell me more.” Robbie rubbed his hands together. “I do love me some gossip.”

“Duke worked there.” My pulse raced at the mere thought of him. Was it from hate or the searing kiss we’d shared?

Robbie looked puzzled, then realisation dawned. “My Duke?”

“He was never your Duke. He ran away and left you.”

“You scared him away. You threatened him with the police when it was never his fault.”

And here was the hate again. Where was he when Robbie needed a friend?

“Not his fault?” I was dumbfounded. How could he say that? “He supplied the alcohol, and he dared you to do it.”

“I could have said no, and I didn’t. Stop blaming Duke for something that was all me.” Robbie’s voice rose, and Carlos looked on, a frown on his face.

“Mr Fletcher. Robbie needs to stay calm.”

“I know.” I stood and stepped into the garden, ignoring Robbie’s shouts.

Conflicting emotions surged through me. On the one hand, thinking about what Duke had done to Robbie sent anger through me, but on the other, that kiss had ignited a passion inside of me. A burning desire to be with him.

What the hell was I thinking?

“I want to see him, Simon.” Robbie appeared beside me. “Tell me where he is.”

“No. I’ll not have you contacting him,” I said, clenching my jaw.

“I’m a grown man, Simon. I know my own mind and can do what the fuck I want. If you won’t tell me, I’ll call Dexter, see where he sent you.”

“Just fucking leave it, Robbie. He didn’t care about you then and probably doesn’t now. He was arrogant as fuck when he was sixteen, and he hasn’t changed from the little I saw of him.”

“You don’t rule my life. Since the accident, you think you can control every part of me, but you can’t.”

“No? Who pays for all this?” I swept my arm, gesturing to the house and land it sat in. “Who’s paying for your next treatment?”

Robbie opened his mouth to speak, but realisation set in that it was me. All me. I’d looked after him and my parents for the past fifteen years.

“He was my friend,” he whispered. “Other than you and Carlos, I have no one else. Please, Simon.”

His pleas tugged at me. Duke wasn’t the only one that had deserted him that night. Everyone he’d known had rallied round at first, but the longer it went on, the smaller his friend group became until it was just me and our parents.

Carlos came along a little later, and it was no wonder he’d formed a close bond with the Spaniard.

Was I that selfish to deprive him of reconnecting with Duke? Could I be that cold?

Just because I had an issue with the guy, it didn’t mean Robbie should. He seemed okay with the whole thing.

“I’ll give you the number of the hotel, but I don’t want to hear anything more about him. I don’t want him here at the house. Ever. Do you understand?” I faced him. I refused to compromise on that.

“I don’t get your problem with him. We always got on well when we were younger.”

“You know my reasons.” I turned away. Fuck, it was hot, and this conversation wasn’t helping.

“The blame and the animosity you feel towards him are unfounded, Simon. I never blamed him, and you shouldn’t either.”

Well, that was his opinion. I didn’t have to like him or it.

I fingered my lips again, remembering the press of them against mine a mere twenty-four hours ago.

“Just keep him away from me.”

I stalked into the house and to the room I still kept here. Gone were the gaming posters, replaced by framed photographs I’d taken over the years. I’d considered selling them, opening a gallery where I could follow my passion.

Some said that I had the dream job, fucking all day and night, but it was a chore. One I’d be happy to give up now. Retirement looked more and more appealing every day.

I turned the shower to hot in the en suite and shed my clothes. At thirty-four, I was in my prime. I’d always been into sports: running, rugby and swimming.

I checked out my reflection in the mirror, noting the bags under my eyes. Dexter had been right. I did need to rest. I made the decision to spend the rest of the week here, then return to the US. I’d a few scenes to shoot I couldn’t get out of, a couple of other projects I’d made promises on, then that would be it.

Essentially, I was my own boss. I could please myself.

Dexter would make the necessary arrangements, and I would bow out gracefully.

The internet would survive with the films I’d already made, and I’d make a few bucks here and there. All in all, I’d be fine. Not only did I have that income, but I’d been careful with my money. Paying for Robbie’s treatment hadn’t been easy, but I’d invested wisely.

If I could spend the rest of my days taking pictures for a living, I’d be happy.

Robbie walking would be the icing on the cake.

I stepped under the hot water and closed my eyes, dropping my chin to my chest.

A steady stream of water eased the taut muscles in my shoulders, and I rolled them, feeling the tension slip away.

I never did get that massage.

My thoughts returned to Duke; his gentle manner with his lady client yesterday showed a caring side I’d never imagined.

In my mind’s eye, he was a thug, probably living a life of crime and debauchery.

After seeing him, though, he didn’t seem like that at all.

Earlier today, before I’d left, I’d watched him chatting with a few people. He’d smiled and laughed, took care with some of the older guests. Both his looks and demeanour were different to the boy I’d seen running from the scene fifteen years ago.

He was fit as fuck now; there was no denying it, and a fantasy I’d not thought of in a long time sprung to mind.

He’d be lying on the bed, his dark locs spread across the pillow, a rock-hard dick in his hand. My own dick pulsed, demanding attention. I reached my hand down and felt it harden beneath my touch.

The view changed, and present-day Duke replaced him.

Sexier with a few more years on him, the youthful look of the past had slipped away, revealing a more mature man. The little I’d seen of him the past few days had shown a body full of promise, one I’d be more than happy to see naked.

My fascination with him had never left me despite what he’d done, and the anger I had for him began to melt away.