Prologue

What the fuck did you do?” Simon glared at me, his eyes flashing with barely disguised anger. He knelt next to the motionless body of his brother and my best friend, Robbie.

It shouldn’t have ended this way. A stupid fucking game gone wrong.

My stomach churned as Simon placed his fingers on Robbie’s neck, feeling for a pulse. He closed his eyes and dropped his hands to his side, his head bowed.

What the fuck did that mean? Was he dead or alive?

I stepped forward. Simon held up his hand, halting me. I needed to know how Robbie was.

“Don’t you come anywhere near him. You’ve done enough damage already,” he said through gritted teeth.

He took out his phone, and I watched as he punched in a number.

Nine, nine, nine.

His eyes never left mine, and I squirmed beneath his hateful stare.

“Yeah, I need an ambulance.”

So not dead then. I listened intently as Simon gave them details of where we were, all the while holding his brother’s hand.

Despite the hot and humid evening, I shivered, my sweat-drenched T-shirt cool against my skin.

I should’ve run, if only to escape Simon and the questions I knew he wanted to ask, but before I could leave, he ended the call and stood. He walked towards me, his fists balled at his side.

“You’d best start talking, Duke. Why is my brother lying on the ground? What the hell were you doing out here?” His voice rose, and I backed away.

“I, I…he fell. From the roof.” My throat was dry, and I struggled to speak. Never mind butterflies, huge fucking bats had taken up residence in my stomach. I felt sick.

“Why was he up there? This building isn’t safe and I know you’ve been drinking. You both reek of cheap booze.”

It had been the last day of school. We were sixteen, going on seventeen, celebrating the fact we never had to go back. Robbie and I often came out to this abandoned house. We’d hang out here drinking and smoking. Tonight had been no exception.

I’d stolen some cans of cider and a bottle of vodka from my parents’ pub, and the evidence of our drinking littered the ground, empty cans thrown carelessly, joining the other rubbish, crisp packets and cigarette stubs.

A game of truth or dare had followed, and as the night had worn on, and more alcohol had been drunk, the dares became progressively more dangerous.

Why hadn’t he chosen truth? And why had I dared him to climb onto the flat roof of the house?

It was not that high, twenty-five feet maybe, but Robbie had always thought he was invincible, especially when he was wasted.

He’d walked along the edge of the roof, his arms outstretched, the vodka bottle clutched tightly in his fist.

“Look at me!” he’d shouted. “King of the fucking world.”

“Yeah, fucking king,” I yelled back, laughing as he balanced on one leg, then the other, wobbling as he walked. But then he’d slipped, and I’d watched, my heart in my mouth, as he’d lost his footing.

He’d struggled to regain his balance, but it was useless, and he’d tumbled to the ground, landing with a sickening thud, his legs at an impossible angle.

Simon had appeared out of nowhere, coming from fuck knows where, shouting his brother’s name. I’d frozen, unsure what to do, my mind fuzzy from the alcohol. A sick feeling settled in my gut.

“You’ve always been trouble, Duke Anders. I warned Robbie about you, told him to find another friend, but he wouldn’t listen to me and now look at him.”

He pointed back at his brother, now covered in Simon’s thin running jacket. Still unmoving.

“I did nothing,” I cried, finally coming out of the daze I’d been in.

“You did something,” he shouted. “Robbie wouldn’t have climbed up there if not to impress you. He fucking looked up to you, Duke.” He stood mere inches away from me, his hot breath on my face, spittle wetting my cheeks.

He pushed my chest, and I staggered backwards.

Simon was a couple of years older and bigger than me by a good few inches. He worked out regularly, and I was a scrawny school kid. No match for him.

But he pushed and pushed, getting into my space. His knuckles digging harder into my chest each time.

Who the fuck did he think he was?

I squared up to him, and the next time he pushed, I braced myself, ready for it.

He stared down at me, and I saw nothing but hatred in his eyes.

“You’ll go down for this, Duke. I’ll fucking make sure of that.”

“I. Did. Nothing.” I clenched my jaw and stared back at him. I wouldn’t let him intimidate me.

A distant siren brought us out of our trance. He stepped away and headed back to his brother, kneeling once again by his side.

I wanted to go to Robbie but knew there’d be no chance of that happening. Simon had made it very clear that my presence wasn’t wanted.

A couple of paramedics jumped out of the ambulance as it came to a halt. They gently removed Simon from Robbie’s side so they could work.

There was nothing I could do but watch, concerned for my friend’s safety. He was alive but unconscious, and I wondered if he’d ever wake up.

Simon rubbed his face and paced, but he never took his eyes off his brother.

The paramedics continued to work, asking Simon questions. I saw him point to the roof, no doubt explaining what he knew. Had he been watching us? How had he appeared so quickly?

He wasn’t likely to tell me, and I decided there and then to make a run for it.

Simon would have no qualms pinning this on me.

It was time to go.

I disappeared into the woods behind the house, unnoticed, and ran hell for leather back to the pub where I lived with my parents and sister.

It’d be open for a few hours yet. Mum and Dad working behind the bar and my sister, Isla, collecting glasses.

I entered via the back door and legged it upstairs to my room, closing the door quietly behind me.

I leant against it, catching my breath. So much trouble was coming my way. What the fuck was I going to do?

When my parents found out, they’d have a shit fit and ground me for a year at least. I scrubbed at my face and paced.

Think, think, think.

I guess I could always go stay with Mum’s sister in Liverpool. I could get a job while I was there, help pay my way.

I’d need to be back in September when my college course started, and things might have calmed down by then. Robbie would be right as rain, joining me.

Yeah, that was an idea.

Seeing how he was tonight, though, I wasn’t so sure. I recalled the stillness of his body, how he’d not moved at all. Was he even breathing?

My palms were sweaty, and my stomach churned, threatening to expel the cider and vodka we’d drunk.

No time for any of that. I had to get out of here.

I grabbed my backpack and shoved in clothes and toiletries. I’d have to leave most things behind, but hopefully I would only be away long enough for things to die down.

When Robbie was better, he could tell them what had happened. As it stood, Simon’s conviction that it was all my fault would be damning. I hadn’t realised how much he hated me. I guess I knew now.

I knelt on the floor and grabbed the metal box from beneath my bed. Thank God I had some money saved. At least I could cover the cost of the train ticket and have some money to keep me going until I could find a job.

I counted it out. One hundred and twenty quid, plus some change. More than enough.

“Duke, are you home?” Shit. “I could do with your help downstairs. Can I come in?” Mum said through the door.

“Yeah, I’m home, Mum. I was going to have an early night.” I cringed at the lie. Would she believe me? “Sorry, I’m already dressed for bed.”

My parents had always respected my room as my own and wouldn’t enter without permission.

“Oh, okay.” She paused. “Is everything all right, Duke? It’s early still.”

Fuck. I hated lying to them, but they’d never understand.

“Just tired, but if you really need me…”

“No, it’s okay.” She said, sounding disappointed. “We’ll manage.” Her footsteps receded, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

Bollocks. I punched the pillow on my bed. Now I felt bad.

Delaying my departure until tomorrow wouldn’t be such a bad thing, and anyway, getting into the city to catch the train tonight would be difficult, public transport being unreliable as it was.

Not wishing to upset Mum, I put my backpack under the bed along with the box and took off my coat. I’d help for a couple of hours, head to bed and leave first thing in the morning.

At least I had a plan.

I dashed downstairs to the bar and grabbed a wire basket. I smiled weakly at Mum and circled the pub, collecting glasses as I went.

Despite the amount I’d drunk, the night’s events had sobered me up, but I avoided eye contact, not wishing to speak to anyone. A few more hours and I’d be out of here.

“Hey, did you hear about Robbie Fletcher?”

Fear paralysed me. What the fuck did they know?

“Yeah, nasty fall from the old house in the woods. I saw the ambulance racing away, sirens blaring.”

I listened for anything more, but by then they were at the bar ordering drinks.

I crept around the pub. Although no one knew I had anything to do with it, I felt every eye watching me, and an uncomfortable feeling gathered in my gut.

I was gonna hurl.

I raced towards the toilets, dropping the glass basket on the end of the bar, ignoring the shout from my dad.

I made it in time, throwing up every drop I’d drunk that evening, and then some. I heaved and retched until there was nothing left except the spasms of pain that accompanied each one.

I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, my eyes watering from the exertion.

Fuck tomorrow, I needed to go tonight. If the news was out already, how long would it be before the cops came knocking or worse, Simon?

Until tonight, I’d fantasised about him. He was my best friend’s older brother. It was the old cliché. I’d wanked over him more times than I cared to mention. He was only a couple of years older than me. In my lustful thoughts, he was attainable and willing.

Seeing his loathing for me tonight had put paid to that, but right now, I didn’t care if I never saw him again.

I left the cubicle and stopped dead when I saw my reflection in the mirror. I looked fucking awful—my usually darker skin paler, my eyes red. My hair was sticking up all over.

I washed up and ran a hand over my face, feeling the roughness beneath my fingers.

Any time I thought I had was gone. It was now or never.

Sticking around wasn’t an option.

“Time to go,” I said to myself. I’d message my parents when I got to Liverpool. Would they understand my reason for running?

Probably not, but it was a chance I had to take. Maybe I should leave a note.

Avoiding my parents, I made my way back to my room, slipping inside.

I scribbled a quick note.

Something bad happened tonight. You’ll hear about it soon enough. I can’t stay. Going to Aunt Debbie’s for a bit. I’ll call when I get there.

Duke

No time for long explanations.

I chucked it on the dresser where they’d be bound to find it and pulled out my bag from underneath the bed. I tucked the money from the box inside.

Did I have everything? Probably not, but I had no space for anything else. Spying the small blue teddy I’d been given by the hospital when I was born, I placed it carefully in the side pocket.

I glanced around the room, an unsettling thought that I’d never see this room again filling my head.

Of course I’d be back again. It was only for the summer, until it all died down.

How wrong I was…