CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

KIM

I wake up groggy. Unsure of where I am until past events come crashing back. I lean into the pillows, trying not to cry again. You’d think after so many tears, there wouldn’t be any left. Wrong.

Someone’s coming up the stairs. The door opens, and Mary peeks in.

“Good, you’re awake. Come down and have some tea with me.”

She disappears before I can protest.

I go to the bathroom and splash water on my face. Change out of my pajamas and head downstairs.

As I walk down the steps, I hear voices. Geeze, I hope it’s the radio or TV. Not up for any company right now. I walk to the back of the house, and Josh is here. What the hell? I turn to leave before they can see me. The squeak of a floorboard gives me away. “Kim?”

Ah, damn.

“What are you doing here?” I plant my hands on my hips and glare at him. “I want you out of here... now!” He has no right coming here and bothering me. I’m a little mad at Mary, too. She let him in here after what he did to me. I thought she had my back. Guess I was wrong. I don’t want to stay here anymore.

Mary stands and walks over to me.

“I understand that you’re angry, but can you just let him speak? He drove all the way here. If you aren’t happy, I’ll escort him out.”

She puts her hand on my shoulder and squeezes. I continue staring at Josh.

“Why did you come here? You left last night, and without a care.”

I don’t feel the tears rolling down my face. I’m so miserable and tired of crying. Why is he punishing me by coming here and causing more pain? I’m so totally miserable that I just stand there when he moves in and hugs me.

Then I become irritated and try to break free. He won’t let me go. He’s too strong.

I try harder, shimmy loose, and start thumping him on the chest. “Let go of me!” I scream and keep hitting as hard as I can. I want to hurt him as badly as he hurt me.

He wraps his arms around me again. “You need to forgive me because I can’t forgive myself. I love you.”

I stop struggling. Love?

“I love you,” he says again. “I was stupid. Please forgive me.”

Here come the waterfalls again. I don’t know what to do. I want to hate him. Don’t know if I can trust him.

“Why did you believe my mother? You didn’t even let me explain. Just left me there, heartbroken.”

I push away from him and step back.

His shoulders droop, like the weight of the world is on them.

“The things your mother said hit all my insecurities with women. I know you aren’t like that.” He takes a step forward. “Please forgive me, Kim. I don’t want to lose you.”

I look out the window at Mary’s garden. So peaceful.

Josh continues staring at me. He must be exhausted. Has those dark circles under his eyes.

“We both have baggage, Josh. I understand that. But mine is having someone love me for who I am.” I wrap my arms around myself and turn away from him. “You broke my heart. I don’t know if I can get over that.”

I sit down at the table. Don’t have the strength to stand any longer. Footsteps approach. Josh kneels beside me. He takes my hand.

“Give me another chance. I’ll make it up to you. Please.”

He looks so sad. If I don’t give him a second chance, I’ll always regret it. What do I do?

“If I forgive you, we won’t just be picking things up where we left off. It’s going to take some time for me to trust you again.”

“Whatever you need, I’m in.”

“Good. Right now, I need some space. We can date when I return to the city. We’ll take things slow.”

“Of course.” He rubs the side of his neck. “How much space are you talking about? You’re not coming back to the city with me?”

I shake my head. I have things to think about, some of it personal and some business. “I’ll be back in a couple of days. I need time, okay? I need this.”

“All right,” he replies and leaves the house, gets into his car, and waves.

I stand on Mary’s porch and watch him drive away. I almost broke and went back with him when he gave me that puppy dog look. But I stayed strong. It was hard.

Mary walks up behind me and gives me a hug. “It’ll work out.”

We go back in the house. I have a lot to think about. And I’m giving myself three days to do it.