7. Vail

No matter how busy I tried to make myself in the kitchen, I couldn't stop listening to the conversation taking place between JJ and Jordan. There was no other sound to drown them out. Dexen and Greer had gone quiet as well. They were still seated at the table, ready to stand at a moment's notice. With this being a big open space, the living room flowing to the kitchen and the dining area next to it, there was no way not to hear their words.

"You don't understand what you're talking about," Jordan said dismissively.

"Then maybe you should tell me," JJ replied.

"Leave it be, Jordan. I invited you for dinner, not round one in a ring."

"This is just like you. Let's not address any of the issues. Instead, we'll avoid the hard topics and never move on. We'll stay stuck in the past. That sounds healthy." The sarcasm in JJ's voice was easily heard.

"Is that what it will take for you to stop looking at me like a murderer? For me to go into the dark recesses of the past and explain everything to you?"

"I want the truth. You murdered her in front of me and said it was because she cheated on you. I believed you, but as I got older, I wondered if that was the real reason you killed her. Why not throw her out?"

"You weren't supposed to be there," he whispered.

"Did it really matter? I was and saw it all."

"She didn't just cheat on me."

I stopped what I was doing, frozen in place. There was no point in pretending I wasn't listening to the conversation now. Everyone went silent. I think the fucking heat even stopped pumping through the vents.

"When you turned three, I suggested your mother throw a party for you," Jordan began. "She laughed and told me I should do it myself. I wouldn't know where to begin. She was the one who enjoyed doing things like that, never asking for my help before. It was the beginning of her downward spiral. I won't tell you every indiscretion, but let's just say her fucking someone else wasn't the entire story. I struggled a lot, trying to get my business off the ground."

"The illegal one."

"Yes, Jordan, the illegal one. One of my competitors was giving me trouble and I hadn't built up a powerful organization yet. Your mother, hating me with every fiber of her being for not falling at her feet like I did when we first met, decided she would get revenge on me. She slept with the adult son of my competitor. During their time together, it became… more. She devised a plan where her family would be taken out of the picture, and she'd inherit the wealth I had built to that point. She'd take over what I had already created. When that happened, she'd combine forces with the man trying to keep me from succeeding."

"Wait, you said take out your family."

"Yes, it wasn't only me."

"But… I was a child."

"Three years old," Jordan murmured. "You were still so small and vulnerable."

"No, she wouldn't do that." JJ's voice rose. I could hear him moving around the living room but didn't dare look in their direction. Instead, I went back to my task of preparing dessert.

Dexen and Greer were on their feet though. Not moving toward JJ yet.

"You're making it up," JJ accused. "You hated her for cheating on you. You killed her because she was ruining your reputation." His words became frantic, each sentence coming out faster. "She was a good mom. I remember her reading to me in bed. She'd turn out the lights and brush my hair off my face as she picked up one of my favorite books." Tears welled in my eyes at how broken he became. I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be listening to this. But I couldn't leave now. I'd draw attention to myself. It was clear they needed to talk.

"She was a great mother to you," Jordan said calmly. "Until she wasn't. Ella loved when I lavished her with attention. I thought it was because we were newly in love, but then we got married and she still wanted all my focus on her. It wasn't easy since I was working. I tried though. It wasn't good enough for her. Then we had you and things were better for a while. She doted on you and planned her days around activities the two of you could do, no matter how small. Until that wasn't enough either, and she started getting angrier and angrier because I wasn't doing everything for her. Paying for whatever she wanted. Giving in to her every whim. I spoiled her in the beginning, and she kept coming back for more, no matter the cost. It got to the point where I couldn't be and do everything she wanted, so she took matters into her own hands."

"I can't believe you're telling me this."

"You wanted to know. It was her or you, and I will always choose you."

"Did you even try to give her an out before you killed her?"

"That day I did. I told her to call off the hit, and it was a hit. I had someone planted in the other organization who relayed information to me. Your mother said it was time. She wanted us out of the picture. The man she was sleeping with was supposed to be the one who pulled the trigger. He never made it here. The person I had on the inside escorted him when he left the property and killed him along the way. She wasn't aware that I knew everything. She wore a smile on her face like everything was fine and wasn't waiting for our deaths. I confronted her; she refused to call off the hit. I put the gun to her head and pulled the trigger, as you already know. If I hadn't stopped her, she would have found someone else to do her bidding. Another man who would give her the attention she needed until she became obsessed and wanted even more. Your mother was thirsty for the high she got from being with powerful men."

Jesus. She wanted to kill her child? What in the ever-loving fuck? I was more than shocked when JJ said Jordan killed his wife in front of him, wondering what kind of monster I was cooking for. But now, holy fuck, what was even happening? Jordan wasn't the monster in this scenario. His wife was.

"This is crazy," JJ muttered. "All this time… All these years…. I've been under the illusion that you're a murder-hungry asshole. Why did you keep it to yourself for so long?"

"Why tell you and ruin how you saw her? A mother is supposed to be one of the most important people in a child's life. I would rather you hated me than her. Besides, I couldn't tell you what happened when you were that young. You wouldn't have understood, nor did I want to say those words to you."

"So, you let me believe you were a cold-blooded murderer?" JJ yelled.

"I am. I put a gun to my wife's head and killed her."

"Not because you were hell-bent on revenge! You did it to stop her!" I wanted to ask about locking her ass up in prison, but I wasn't familiar with Jordan's world and the way things ran. If he tried to call the cops and involve them, I imagined it would have opened a whole other bag of bullshit he didn't want. So, he handled it himself and played it off like a robbery gone wrong.

"It was my fault," Jordan stated.

"How?"

"If I hadn't been in the life I was, if I wasn't involved in those activities, maybe she wouldn't have gone down the path she was on."

"Are you fucking serious right now? Don't make excuses for her."

"I'm not. I'm stating facts."

"You've lived with the guilt all this time," Greer murmured. "You kept it to yourself and let your son hate you so you could save the vision he had of his mom."

"I did."

"Holy shit," Dexen said. "I… Just holy shit. Jordan, I can't imagine all you've been through."

"Don't you dare, Dexen," Jordan said firmly. "Don't you dare pity me. I did what I had to. I saved my son and made myself the villain. It was a choice, and I don't regret it. I chose the wrong woman to love, but that woman gave me the best part of my life. She gifted me with a child I would die for, back then and today."

"Oh my god," JJ muttered, obviously still in shock. "How do I even process this?"

"You do it with your men by your side," Jordan told him. "You bask in the love they give you and hold them tight. They'll see you through."

"But you're not how I thought you were."

"I am. I still kill. I still do other shit."

"But you didn't murder my mother because you're horrible."

"It happened just the same," he said. "As it did with Malik." I'd heard that name before. Malik was mentioned when Jordan was. But he was supposed to have died at the hands of someone who broke into his house. I remembered hearing it on the news.

"You didn't kill Malik because you didn't love him," Dexen stated. "You killed him because it was end him or watch him kill JJ. You made the right call." Jesus. What the media portrayed was for a reason. I understood that. It kept Jordan out of prison. But these two deaths… They were to save his son.

"I know," Jordan replied. "That doesn't change the facts. The only two people I have ever loved like that I had to kill myself. What does that say about me?"

"That you have shitty choices in partners?" Greer offered.

"Honestly," Dexen scolded him.

"What? It's the truth. You need someone you can rely on who won't go behind your back."

"I don't need anyone," Jordan interjected. "All it does is invite trouble."

"That's why you're alone," JJ added, but it was almost like he was saying it to himself. "That's why you never told Malik you loved him until he was staring down the barrel of your gun. You didn't want to put yourself in that situation again."

"I did anyway."

The room fell silent once more. You could hear a fucking pin drop. Or the sound of a knife clattering to the floor because my stupid ass left it teetering on the edge of the counter during tonight's pour your soul out session between Jordan and JJ. Of course it fell. Luckily, it didn't pierce my shoe and sever my toe in the process.

I didn't need to look to know all eyes were on me. I could feel them.

"Vail," Jordan said, a command but not as stern as I imagined he could be.

"Ignore me," I told him and bent to pick up the knife. "I shouldn't have listened but didn't want to interrupt by leaving. It was wrong of me. I'm sorry. What you said, I won't tell a soul. I promise."

The sound of his shoes on the floor brought my gaze up. Jordan stood before me as I rose with the knife in hand, which I quickly put on the counter.

His voice softened. "I know you won't, because you understand what the consequences would be if you did."

My lips wouldn't move, no sound would come out. The threat had me frozen, but surprisingly, I wasn't shaking in fear like I should have been. Maybe it was because I'd heard the lengths Jordan would go to for his son. There was good in this man, even if there was plenty of bad. I should fear him, yet I simply stood frozen, my body warring with my mind.

"All right," Dexen cut in. "You don't need to threaten him. Vail is a good guy who doesn't need to get involved in your shit. He's here to do me a favor. Being dragged into family fun night wasn't part of the plan."

"You just laid everything out there about why you're not as I always thought you were, and now you're threatening Vail," JJ said, coming into the kitchen. "Knock it off."

Jordan's eyes didn't go all the way cold, but they went close. "Don't tell me what to do."

"We've been on this ride too many times. I say shit you don't like. You tell me to knock it off or else. Blah-blah bullshit. I don't care. Vail is a great guy. Leave him be."

"Besides," Greer added. "He still has to serve dessert."

Dexen shook his head, but a smile teased the corners of his lips.

JJ slung his arm around Greer's waist. "That's right. We haven't had the best part of dinner yet."

"Actually, you haven't eaten dinner at all," I said. "I was trying to get ahead by making dessert."

"Can you reheat a rack of lamb?" Greer asked.

I fought a grin. I didn't want to smile given what was revealed tonight, but I was damn glad the mood lightened a bit. "I'll put it in the oven to warm it."