34. Jordan

I was softening, wasn't I? What else could explain the reason why I sat at the table at my son's house and had a fucking conversation with Greer Lynx, of all people? Did they slip me a drug? Or was this who I was now?

"Did you see the system I installed on Vail's house?" he asked.

"No, but I heard you do good work."

"Good?" He scoffed. "Try fucking amazing. I designed it myself. You can't buy that anywhere. You should think about having me install it on your building. I haven't done a commercial project yet, but I could."

I leaned forward, staring him dead in the eye. "What is happening right now?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why the fuck are we getting along?"

He cocked his head. "You don't know either? I have no clue, but I figured I'd go with it. It's so strange."

"Jesus," I muttered and leaned back.

Hartley's hand stroked over my thigh, a calming presence on the other side of me. How did I even sit next to Greer? Seriously, what the fuck?

I looked around for Vail, but he was nowhere in sight. After pressing a quick kiss to Hartley's lips, I stood, putting much needed distance between Greer and myself. If I didn't, we'd probably end up trading friendship bracelets or comparing the size of our guns. My gun was bigger, by the way. It always was.

In the kitchen, I found Vail giving cooking tips to Jordan. They were going over spices and the best meals to add them to.

Vail heard me come in and peered at me over his shoulder with a grin. "Do you want a lesson too?"

I couldn't resist the pull to him. I wrapped my arms around his waist from behind and put my chin on his shoulder. "I don't need one. I have you."

"You should still learn."

"I have Irene too."

"He's got you there," Jordan chuckled. "You should come over more often. Greer's good at cooking, but you're better."

"Doesn't Xaiden cook often?" Vail asked.

"He does but he's really into healthy shit."

A groan came from behind me. "Half of it is edible," Dexen said. "The other half is green shit in a blender. Don't even get me started on the jackfruit. I don't care what my brother says. It doesn't taste like meat."

My son put his arm around his partner, pulling him close. "That's your brother you're talking about."

"Yeah, that's why I can say it. And I do to his face."

"Cody's a good cook," Vail said. Cody was Xaiden's adopted son. Vail told us Cody and his partners had a cooking lesson with him.

"He is, and he doesn't stick to only healthy ingredients."

I felt Vail laugh against me. "That's because he has to cook for Milo. He packs it away like a squirrel getting ready for winter." Cody and Milo were in a relationship with Slater Meadows, Dash's brother. I needed a fucking chart to connect all the people in their circle.

Theirs. Not mine. I wasn't part of anyone's friend group.

Never before had I thought about socializing. Why would I? I had multiple businesses to run and people who depended on me. I couldn't cultivate friends doing that, especially given the nature of some of those businesses. But here with Vail in my arms and the infectious way he laughed, I wanted those friends for him and Hartley. I didn't want to hold them back or keep them from enjoying their lives.

We stood in the kitchen a while longer before Dexen and Jordan drifted back to the dining room. Vail turned in my arms, bringing his face nearly level with mine. "What's the matter?" He smoothed his thumb between my eyebrows. "Why are you so deep in thought?"

"Do I hold you back?"

"From what?"

"Friends? Life? Whatever you want?"

"Jordan, I only want you and Hart. Everything else will fall into place. It's fun getting out and seeing people, but we don't have to do that together. I'm fine visiting family on my own. You don't have to worry about me. Or Hartley for that matter. We're happy. If we weren't, we'd tell you."

"Promise?" Dammit, I was softening. I never spoke of such things before. I didn't voice my vulnerabilities or let anyone see them. Yet, standing in front of Vail and when Hartley was with us, I found looking at them was akin to cracking my chest open and exposing my fucking heart.

"I promise. If there's anything I want or need or if I feel like you're holding me back, I'll tell you."

"Good."

"There you two are," Hartley said as he entered the kitchen. "Got room for another?"

I opened my arm. "Always."

Together, the three of us stood there, not talking, simply soaking each other in. The sounds from the dining room, of Dexen, Greer, and Jordan talking floated to us. They were happy as well. That was what I wanted for my son, to be happy and healthy. To find love and thrive. He had, more than I could have ever hoped for.

"There he is, my new best friend," Greer joked and slapped me on the back. A low growl worked its way up my throat as I resisted turning and pulling my gun from its holster. He peered at me with a smile. "Too soon?"

Vail and Hartley shook in my arms. I glared at them both. They couldn't hold their laughter in any longer and both started chuckling. Traitors.

"What do you want for dessert?" Greer asked. "We've got ice cream and ice cream. I honestly didn't expect to serve dessert. I figured you'd leave once dinner was over. Guess that teaches me. Next time I'll have a cake ready."

"You're going to bake a cake?" Vail asked.

"No, but there's this great bakery Dex uses at the club. They make dick cakes. And while that doesn't sound appealing, they're really good. Next time, expect a cock for dessert." He winked.

"I don't think you should be making those kinds of promises," Dexen called from the dining room.

That time, even though I didn't want to, I smiled.

Goddammit.

I didn't want to soften.

Well, if there was anyone I could do it in front of, it was family. And as much as I wanted to put a bullet in Greer more times than not, that was what he was, him and Dexen. They were family. And so were Hartley and Vail.

In that moment, I wanted to make things permanent, which was insane on many levels. We weren't there yet. Maybe one day we would be. Until then, I'd wait. When they were ready, we could discuss having a commitment ceremony.

I was getting way ahead of myself. I found with Vail and Hartley; time didn't matter. All that did was being with them, protecting them, caring for them, and giving them everything they desired.

As I was about to lean in and kiss them, the front door flew open, the sound of it slamming against the wall reaching us, and I heard Raiden call for me. "Cops," he said when he came into the room. "They just pulled in. A bunch of them."

Spinning, I put Vail and Hartley behind me and went to the front of the house, quickly unholstering my gun and putting it in the drawer of a small table then removing my jacket and holster so I could shove the holster in the drawer too. I didn't want the cops to confiscate my gun. Jordan got in my path and placed his hands on my chest to stop me as I put my suit jacket back on, while Greer took the gun and holster from the drawer and climbed the stairs with it.

"No," Jordan said. "Stay here. Let me handle them."

Dexen shook his head as he walked past. "I'll go."

"They're here for me," I told them. No one else had done anything to warrant a police presence. In my line of work, there was always a chance for me to be arrested. With everything that happened with Leeland, I foolishly thought it would be taken care of. I guess not. At least I had a solid alibi already in place as well as video footage to back it up. It paid to have the best tech minds at my disposal.

A man in a uniform came through. His eyes didn't scan the room. They fell on me and remained there. More officers entered the home with their guns drawn, pushing my guards closer to me until I was surrounded by them and family.

"Jordan Altair, you're under arrest in connection with the disappearance of Gilbert Cresswell," the officer said as he came closer.

It was Jordan who stepped in my path again. "You can't come into my house like this. You're not arresting my dad." His eyes flicked to Dexen's, who was already lifting his phone to his ear, no doubt calling his lawyer while I noticed Sheldon had one pressed to his ear.

"Jordan," I said, and put my hand on his shoulder. "It's okay."

"No, it's not," he growled. "I just got you back to where I don't want to fucking choke you daily. I'm not letting them take you in."

"You don't have a choice, Son."

"Mr. Altair, you have to come with us."

I nodded and started forward where I was quickly searched while guns stayed trained on the men in the home with me. None of mine had pulled theirs out. They knew better than to go toe-to-toe with the police.

Vail and Hartley both called my name, but I couldn't turn back to see the looks on their faces. It would break me and make me want to do something foolish that would keep me in prison for a long time.

Then reality dawned on me. Vail would think I went after his ex. He'd think I had something to do with this when I didn't. I tried to turn to tell him I was innocent, but he was already out of view.

How many times had I done something illegal? And now I was arrested for something I didn't even do?

We'd get this straightened out. Lana would show at the station. Dexen would get his lawyers involved as well. They had nothing on me. No proof to hold me. I hadn't been anywhere near that piece of shit, no matter how badly I wanted to be the cause of his death. And he better be dead because if he wasn't, I was going to find him when I was free and rectify that.

As I was handcuffed and placed in the back of the waiting car, I remembered the letter Malik left for his attorney to give me when he died. Why that came to mind had everything to do with the two men who watched the cruiser back out of the driveway with me inside it.

Jordan,

If you're reading this, I'm gone. However it happened, I know one thing. I didn't get to tell you how I felt. If I had, I would have replaced this letter with another. That time hasn't come because I didn't have the courage to tell you just how much I loved you.

Maybe you already knew on some level. If not, I love you, Jordan. I'm sorry we didn't get to have the moment I'd long thought about. But this brings me to another matter.

In front of you is my son. Our connection was well hidden. No one knew who he was to me. I wasn't the father he needed so I wasn't in his life. It was another secret I didn't get the courage to confess to you. There were a lot of things you knew about me, but this one I hid from everyone.

I saw what you went through trying to protect your son and didn't want the same for mine. Was it a coward's way out, not being in his life? Yes, but I don't regret it. I had nothing good to share with him outside of my money.

But you can. Be there for him if he needs it. Protect him. You don't think you have compassion or love, but you do. Romeo could use that from a father figure. It was more than I could give him.

One last thing… When you find love, Jordan, hold on to it with everything you have. Don't let the one you give your heart to slip away. Fight, cherish, and do what you have to so the person you love sees the real you.

I wish it could have been me.

All I want is for you and Romeo to be happy. Please do that for me. One last request from a dead man who left this earth with you in his heart.

All of my love,

Mal

Tears stung my eyes as the cruiser slipped into the night, heading toward the bright lights of the city. I wouldn't let them fall. Not now. Not when I had people out there I had to fight for and protect. Jordan and Romeo held special places in my heart, but Vail and Hartley owned me whole.

I'd get out of this mess and prove to Vail and Hartley I was a man they could trust and lean on, because I did love them, even if I didn't have the courage to say the words yet.

Thank you for reading Jordan! Their story continues in Vail. If you haven't already read my other Dremest books, you can start with Three Ties to Bind.