32. Hartley

I shouldn't be nervous. It was only dinner. We'd eaten with JJ, Dexen, and Greer before. This time felt different. Maybe it was because we were going to their house, and they weren't coming here. Maybe because it felt more like a date. Whatever it was, my hands shook.

Vail took my hands in his, I hadn't realized he'd gotten closer. His shirt was still off, although he wore a pair of nice jeans. JJ said we didn't have to dress up, but I liked to look good, so I went with a slim fitting pair of slacks of my own design and a soft cream-colored sweater I'd also designed.

"Why are you nervous?" Vail asked. "We've met them before."

My eyes met his as I peered up at him. "It's a date, right? That's how this feels."

"It is, but not in the sense we're going out with Jordan. It's his family, even if he doesn't consider Greer as such." His lips lifted. I thought Greer was sweet. It was obvious how much he loved Dexen and JJ. He was a big guy but also like a teddy bear, with his kind words and easy demeanor, unless he was looking at Jordan, then everything changed. The hate was mutual. "Do you worry about something happening because of who Jordan is?"

"Honestly, no. I knew what I was getting into by being closer to him. It started out as designing suits, but I had an immediate attraction to him. I couldn't turn it off if I wanted to. Then to have him show other sides of himself, ones only we get to see, I couldn't walk away. That doesn't mean I love what he does. I just take the good with the bad." I shrugged. Jordan was who he was. I wasn't willing to give him up because he killed people. Okay, that sounded terrible. I was already in this, unwilling to leave.

"I have a hard time with it occasionally. I know it's not all he is, but that side of things, the very illegal, incriminating side, it's not going away. After everything I went through with Gil…"

I squeezed his hands. "Jordan isn't him."

"I know. The crimes though, they're not good."

"They aren't but you care about him too much to let that be all you see."

He nodded. "I do. He's more than that. Deep down, he wants to be loved and accepted as much as anyone. And the way he cares for us, there's no comparing it. I've never been treated this well. It's not only him either, Hart. It's you too. You're so kind and sweet. The way you touch me like I'm the most important person on the planet, I melt."

Releasing his hands, I lifted mine so I could cup the sides of his neck. "You are important. You deserve everything good. I'm grateful you let us give you that. While I can't shower you with gifts, I like to show I care in other ways." I hated being insecure about money. One day, I'd climb out of the hole I was in. I already had a new customer in Dexen. He liked the way Jordan looked in his suit and wanted one. Hopefully, I would keep getting more and could crawl my way back to where I was before it all went to hell. Dexen was a start. So many wealthy men saw him at his club. He could tell them where he got the suit.

Vail let out a shuddering breath and dropped his forehead to mine. "Thank you, Hart. You're a wonderful man. I'm one of the lucky two who get to have you close every night."

I heard Jordan exit the bathroom from his shower but didn't open my eyes. A hand was placed on my back as Jordan stood next to us. "Are you two okay?"

I nodded but Vail leaned away to look at Jordan. "Thank you for caring for us."

"You don't have to thank me for that. I'd give you anything you wanted if you'd let me."

"I know. If I'm being honest, it's still hard for me sometimes, given what you do."

Jordan stiffened. I moved my arm, so it wrapped around his waist. Any moment he'd step away. Jordan's version of self-preservation—distance.

Vail turned to face him fully. "No, don't do that. I'm not saying it to upset you. I want you to understand what I feel. Hart and I were talking about it. You're not just a criminal, Jordan. You're so much more, but you only let a select few see that. You give us this other man, the real man who cares about us. You brought us into your home, shown us how you feel. You'll reach for us at dinner or put your arm around us when we're watching TV. You like to touch, and we like being touched. Just don't stop, okay? Don't stop showing us who you are underneath the other side. We can take more than you're giving us."

"You don't want to know about that side."

"No, I don't, but I'm not talking about that. I mean you." He lifted his hand to put it over Jordan's heart. "Who this heart beats for, who you love, who you cherish. One day you'll voice how you feel, and we'll be here waiting. Just don't stop peeling back the layers. We want to see it all."

Jordan wrapped his fingers around Vail's and used his free hand to grip mine and lift it, so it was pressed to his chest as well. "You're both here, in my heart. I can't…" He blew out a breath.

"We know," I said.

I could see it in Vail's eyes. While the criminal side of Jordan was scary, this side, the one in front of us, won out. This was why he stayed. When faced with Jordan in nothing but a towel, his heart beating wildly in his chest, this was who was ours. Not the one the world saw. This, right here, was the Jordan we were falling for.

Jordan took each of our hands in his and slowly lowered himself to the floor, kneeling before us. "I can't change what I do. I won't. You knew who I was when we started this. I can promise to be better with you both. I want you in my life forever." Releasing our hands, he wrapped his arms around us until he was pressed to our bodies, his head leaning on our hips as he held us. "I understand if you want to walk away. I won't stop you."

Vail threaded his fingers into Jordan's hair, pulling him back so he would look at us. "I'm not going anywhere. You have all of me, like I've told you before. Keep showing us you. That's all I ask."

"Hartley?" Jordan asked.

"I'm not leaving either. I'm right where I want to be."

Tears shimmered in Jordan's eyes. He didn't let them fall, carefully blinking them back, but we saw them. Jordan felt more than he ever let on.

He skated his hands over our waists until he got to the fronts of our pants. With nimble fingers, he opened us and tugged the material, which wouldn't go all the way down when he was only using one hand.

Both Vail and I assisted, pushing our clothes over our thighs until we were both bare before him. Neither of us were hard yet. The moment was so emotionally charged. One look at the hunger on Jordan's face, the pure need, and my dick twitched. It wouldn't take much to get me hard for them.

Jordan's fingers gripped us, stroking us at the same time. Vail kept running his hand through Jordan's hair, almost like he was petting him. Jordan leaned into the touch, his eyes fluttering closed. He wanted to be loved by us so desperately. No, he wouldn't give up what he'd built and neither of us were asking him to. Being with Jordan meant accepting all of him.

When his eyes opened next, he parted his lips and said, "Fuck my mouth. Make me feel."

"Open wide," Vail murmured, which Jordan did.

Vail gripped his dick and slowly fed it to Jordan, who was ready for him. His lips stretched around Vail and his eyes slipped closed again. He didn't stop stroking me, didn't let up. I was along for the ride with them, not feeling left out at all. I knew I'd have a chance in Jordan's mouth.

Sliding his hand down from his hair, Vail gripped Jordan's cheeks with both hands to still him and started thrusting into his mouth. The sight of them had me growing harder. Vail was using Jordan and Jordan was more than happy to have him do so.

"Fuck," Vail moaned. "Your mouth… Goddamn." Vail's head tipped forward as he gave over to the sensation, his hips moving, his dick sliding in and out.

I had to still Jordan's hand on me or I would come, but he wouldn't stop touching my body. His hand went to my balls to play with them, causing me to moan next. No matter what they did to me, I enjoyed every second of it.

"I'm going to come," Vail panted. "Fuck, Jordan." He moaned long and spilled into Jordan's mouth. Jordan's throat worked, trying to swallow it all but some spilled out the sides. He didn't stop, didn't push Vail away. He took everything Vail had to give him.

When Vail finally slipped from Jordan's lips, Jordan swallowed once then turned to take me into his mouth.

"Holy shit," I gasped. There was no taking this slow. He brought me to the back of his throat and held me there, waiting for me to take over. I'd been blown before but never had anyone granted me access to fuck their mouth like I wanted to.

I did the same as Vail and held on to Jordan as I worked my dick along the wet heat of his mouth. Vail turned so he was closer to me and leaned down to kiss me. His tongue darted out, tasting me. The mint on his, the way my moans poured from me to him, I was on the verge of coming.

My body had a mind of its own as it took over. Jordan choked, which I didn't mean to happen. I tried to pull back, but he gripped my hips and held me firm until I started pushing into him again.

With Vail at my lips and Jordan on my dick, I was gone, shooting down Jordan's throat, crying out into Vail's as I gave myself over. My body shook with the force of the orgasm that pummeled through me. Like every part of me was reacting to having these two men touch me. Like it was trying to give back to them what they'd given me.

When I started coming down from the high, I knew I wasn't falling for Jordan. I'd already fallen.

With Vail, it was as easy as breathing. I'd lusted after him when I was younger. Vail now was nothing like the fantasies I had. He was better. Adult, mature, and so fucking ours. Jordan, well, he was everything I didn't know I needed until he stood in front of me.

I wouldn't take what we had for granted. If anyone tried to rip us apart, I'd fight. No, I wasn't strong like either of them, but that didn't mean I'd let someone hurt us. These men were mine and I was so gone for them, I didn't know which end was up. I also didn't care.

Whatever was meant to happen, would. All I could do was hold on and hope with everything in me we would be together for a long time to come.