21. Jordan

There were things in life that were too good to be true. I'd thought Vail and Hartley were some of them. But here I was, getting Vail in my bed, where he could be a reality. Not a dream. Not a fantasy. However, he wanted everything. After I gave that to my wife, I didn't want to give it to another and hadn't. Not after the way she treated me. After she wanted to kill my son and me.

Then there was Malik, who I was always afraid to give anything to, yet he had more than he ever knew. Fear held me back for far too long. It still rode me now as I stared into Vail's eyes in the middle of my bedroom, fully clothed.

The anticipation hung heavy in the air. While I knew exactly what I wanted to do to him, I couldn't get my feet to move. We'd already crossed a line when I put my lips on his. Tonight, we'd cross many more, ones I couldn't come back from. I was too old and too hardened to keep putting myself through this. If Vail and Hartley decided they couldn't handle me, I was done trying to be with another. I would run my businesses until I was put in the ground.

"Jordan," Vail said, drawing my attention to him. I watched him, could smell his cologne in my space, the decadent food he prepared tonight.

Vail wasn't another ass to pound. He wasn't good for a fuck and nothing else. The feelings he evoked had me wanting to move his shit in here. Out there, out in that fucking city, was a man who would love to put his hands on Vail again. Who would hurt him and never let him leave if he got him alone. I had to remember to tamp down my emotions because I didn't want Vail to leave, either. Only I didn't want to cause him pain. I wanted to show him what it meant to be taken care of and want for nothing, not only in daily life but in bed too.

He stepped closer until he could run his fingers down my arm. I had taken my suit jacket off but still wore a button-down and slacks. "We don't have to do anything. I'm content just being here with you."

"I have this one day and night with you. I will not spend the start of it talking."

"There's nothing wrong with telling someone how you feel."

"In my world, voicing insecurities can get me killed."

"Then don't show your hand to anyone but Hartley and me."

"Vail…"

"I'm right here, Jordan."

Instead of speaking, I did what I longed to and wrapped him in my arms so I could bury my face in his neck and breathe him in so deep, his scent wouldn't leave me. Words of longing and need didn't leave my lips. But I could show him how I felt. I could run my hands over him, kiss and suck him, drive him out of his mind with lust so he wouldn't doubt how I felt.

My lips pressed to his neck, moving upward until I got to the stubble along his jaw. While I enjoyed being with women, there was something so fucking enticing about the rough facial hair of a man. The way it burned across my flesh, how it left red marks in its wake.

Vail's hands went to my hips to grip me tight. As if I'd go anywhere now that I had him again.

I turned us, backing him toward the bed, but instead of pushing him onto it, my fingers went to the front of his button-down. Inching them inside, I held firm and pulled the shirt apart, sending the buttons flying. The shirt was in my way, as was the T-shirt beneath it. Before I could rip it to shreds, he gripped the hem and lifted it over his head.

His tattoos drew my gaze to them so I could trace over both arms, etching every piece of his art to memory. The way his muscles jumped, like he could feel my eyes on him, had my cock hardening more than it already was. Knowing all I had to do was look at him and he reacted made me feel more powerful than I did with a crate of guns ready to go to a buyer or men waiting for my command to do my bidding. Money was nothing compared to what I'd found in Vail and Hartley. Nothing in the world could buy them and, for some reason, they thought I deserved their attention.

"You're beautiful," I murmured as I lightly grazed the backs of my fingers up his hard stomach, over the ridges of his abs, to his chest, where I opened my hand and pressed my palm flat to his flesh. Beneath that hand was a heart that beat to keep this amazing man alive. One I would die to protect.

"Jordan, please. You've hardly touched me and I'm ready to beg."

I hummed. "Let's move this along, then. I wouldn't want you to suffer."

His black slacks sat low on his hips and didn't take more than a flick of the button and the lowering of the zipper before they slid down his powerful thighs. He hooked his fingers into his black boxer briefs to pull them off as well. Vail was a work of art. One who didn't put those muscles to use hurting others. He worked out to be healthy and fit. And I was reaping the benefits of it.

With deft fingers, he unbuttoned my shirt. "I have a feeling you might not like it if I ripped this off your body like you did mine."

"It's only clothes. I can get more. If it makes you hot, do it."

"You make me hot. Your clothes are just getting in the way."

I undid my slacks and brought them down my legs. I had nothing on beneath. Going to Vail, I was hopeful we'd end up here and wanted to be prepared.

"Oh my god, you were naked under those pants? I could have unzipped you on the way over and taken you down my throat."

"Jesus," I groaned and palmed myself, willing my body to calm slightly so I didn't come too fast.

Vail gently gripped my wrist to pull my hand away. "I want to be the one who touches you."

My eyes held his. In the low light, I had a perfect view of the emotions that danced across his face. Need, desire, and anticipation.

The urge to take over, to control, was strong, but I didn't want Vail to not touch me either. Crouching slightly, I gripped the backs of his thighs and lifted him. Vail wasn't the only one with muscle. He gasped as he wrapped his arms around my neck to hold on.

With one arm around his back, I walked until my knees hit the bed, then slowly lowered us. I didn't want space between us. For the next however long we were in here, I had to always touch him.

"Keep your hands on me, baby," I told him. "I want to know you're with me." The last thing I desired was for him to be afraid or to think I was the piece of shit who hurt him.

"I know who I'm with, Jordan."

I dropped my forehead to his and nodded. Giving in, I pressed my lips to the sweetest mouth that ever existed. Vail moaned and immediately opened to grant me access. I swept my tongue past his lips, reveling in the little whimpers he released as I did so. His legs wrapped around me so he could hold on while he ground his cock against mine.

It wasn't easy, but I broke his hold to kiss down his neck to his chest and farther over his hip until I got my hands under his thighs and lifted, folding him in half. His fingers threaded into my hair as I dove in to where I couldn't hold back from tasting any longer.

My lips pressed to Vail's hole so I could lick at the sensitive flesh. He writhed beneath me, begging for me to touch his cock, but I wasn't ready for it yet. His hand went to grip himself. I shook my head, and he stopped. His orgasm was mine and mine alone.

Spearing my tongue inside him, I went as deep as I could so I could taste every part of him. Only when his body trembled did I pull back and lift my head.

"Do I need a condom?" I asked. "I'm clean and get tested regularly." The thought of something between us didn't sit well with me, but I would use one if he wanted me to.

"No condom. Just us. I was tested last month and haven't been with anyone since."

I nodded and slid to the side to grab the lube from the top of my nightstand. My fist got a workout earlier while I thought of him and Hartley. Flicking open the cap, I squeezed the tube to drop enough on my fingers to get Vail nice and slick.

Before my fingers could enter him, he told me not to stretch him too much. He was too close to the edge and wanted to go over with me inside him. While I would have liked to have taken longer, I understood his need to come with me. I wanted to do the same with him. So, I stretched him until he told me to stop, then slicked my dick and positioned myself over him.

One hand was beside his head as I held myself in place. My cock throbbed, but I refused to stroke it. "Your orgasm, your cum, they're mine," I growled. "You will come for me when I tell you to. You won't stop, you won't let go until I'm ready for you to. And don't keep those sweet whimpers to yourself. I want to hear them all."

I punched my hips forward and sank into him in one slick push. Vail cried out, his fingers grappling for purchase on my back as he pulled me closer, as if there was anywhere else I'd rather be. When I was balls deep, my groin flush to him, I lowered my weight on top of him, blanketing him, securing him, letting him know that no matter what happened, I had him. I always would, even after this. Even if he wanted to walk away and not look back. He would always be mine.

I started with slow, shallow thrusts to get him used to me before I found a rhythm that had his back arching and his heels digging in. Vail kept himself around me while I fucked him like a crazed man. The longer I was in him, the faster I moved. There was a primal need driving me, urging me to release inside him and claim him as mine once and for all. But no matter how much I tried; I couldn't get to where I needed to be. On the verge, about to tip over, but not close enough to fall.

"Jordan," he begged. "Please. I need you."

"I can't…. Fuck," I growled. What the fuck was happening to me? I never had a problem getting off. It was like this moment was too big. No matter which way I moved, it wasn't right. Vail was too important for me to screw this up between us.

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes." That wasn't a question I needed to think over.

Vail outmuscled me and rolled us so I was on my back with him over me. He sat up, his palms pressed to my chest. "Look at me, Jordan." I hadn't realized I wasn't. "I'm not someone you have to hold back with. You want to control me in here and while I will let you any time you want, maybe you need someone to take over once in a while." He lifted and slammed back down, punching the air from my lungs as he did so. "I'm going to do the work. When you're about to come, touch me. It won't take much. I want this with you."

Never in my entire life had I let someone else control me in the bedroom. I loved having the upper hand. Yet, as Vail's gaze drilled me and he gripped my cock with his ass, I gave in.

Sweat beaded on my face and chest. It did the same to him, his skin glistening in the low light. His dark brown hair hung over his forehead in slick locks as he bounced on my cock like he was made to do it.

"Almost… there… Touch me, Jordan."

My hand went to his cock, the velvet coated steel slick with precum. I firmed my grip and jerked him twice before saying, "Come." He called out my name and leaned forward as his orgasm crashed into him. His ass squeezed my cock while he kept moving, kept his pace until I finally felt my orgasm rise to the surface.

"So good, Jordan. Oh my god, so fucking good." He kept coming. And I finally crashed over the edge with him.

Everything went dark as my eyes squeezed closed and my body drew up tight, pumping my cum inside Vail while his panted breaths were the soundtrack to our shared moment. We were in our own world here, our own safe space. The world out there didn't exist, only the two of us. And I'd let go. For once with a lover, I gave in and let my control slip. It was frightening and freeing.

If I wasn't careful, it would become completely addictive.