Chapter 8

Eight

Just across Central Park, Leo was acutely aware of how time and distance had collapsed around him. He was trapped in the past, reliving every moment at Sch?nbühel while searching for clues about Jonathon's life in the years that had followed. Jonathon had never been far from Leo's thoughts, particularly when he was lonely or frustrated. And now, it appeared that Jonathon had been just as haunted and had spent the years in isolation as well.

No one saw or listened to the man within Leo, not even Sabine or Markus. Both had served him tirelessly and loyally—or so he had thought—but most of their efforts were in support of Leo, the Margrave. Often, at the expense of Leo, the man. And while he considered them his friends and most-trusted advisors, there were many things Leo would never discuss with them.

There were whole dimensions of his personality that Leo kept to himself because they were not consistent with what was expected of him as head of his family and the new Margrave of Hessen. But Leo had been able to shed all of those restraints and simply be himself whenever he was with Jonathon.

Instead of being dazzled by the castle, the title, and all the glamorous trappings, Jonathon saw the burden and was just as jaded as Leo with society life. Both had existed on the fringes and had their reputations rehabilitated by benevolent relatives, and they both understood the tenuousness of their positions. For Leo, he was a scandalous misstep away from being a mere mister again. Just as Jonathon understood that expectations for him were low and most people expected him to be just as shallow and selfish as his parents.

Leo lost that precious connection the moment he left Sch?nbühel. After nearly a decade of existing in such a solitary state, how could Leo leave Manhattan, knowing that the thing he had longed for most was so close? Jonathon and utter peace and contentment were within his grasp, if Leo could just pause everything and find a way to turn back time and undo his mistakes.

"I just got off the phone with Kramer," Markus informed Leo heavily. "They're concerned in Vienna and are demanding that you talk with Sabine."

Leo smirked as he turned from the view of the park, daring Markus. "Tell them to come and make me. I have given them ten years of near-perfect service, so they can give me time now. All I am asking is for a few days to manage my personal affairs. If that is too much, they can find a new line of von Hessens and go make their lives miserable."

They both knew that this time , Leo was holding all the cards. He had played nicely for so many years because you could only threaten to burn it all down once. After that, you were put on notice and plans would be made to replace you if you stepped out of line again. But Leo and his brothers had grown a lot in the decade since he became Margrave and the other three had no desire to live under the Foundation's oppressive thumb.

Theo was the only one of the three who was still viable, and while his temperament would have matched the Foundation's ideal for margrave, he was too generous and restless by nature to be a good fit. And too much of a playboy. When Theo wasn't busy keeping an eye on Matteo and Elio for Leo, he was off using his charm and his connections to help someone else. It could be a farmer in France or koala bears in Australia because of some video he had seen on TikTok. But his heart was always in the right place and Theo left a trail of satisfied former lovers around the world. The Foundation's board members would have had fits, trying to control Theo and keep track of him.

The Foundation would get nowhere with Matteo because he loathed the wealthy and thought the entire concept of an aristocracy was ridiculous. While Theo was the handsomest and most charming, Matteo was considered the "beautiful" one, with the classical beauty of a Greek or Italian marble. He cleaned up well and would behave whenever he was required to, but it was no secret within Austria that Matteo von Hessen was a socialist and vehement anti-royalist, who only played along and attended society events out of love for his eldest brother.

Elio was even more unsuitable, thankfully. Despite numerous requests to rein him in and send him to the Theresian Military Academy, Leo had chosen to let Elio run wild. Within reason, of course, because Leo lived in constant fear of Elio breaking his neck. The youngest von Hessen never went anywhere without a skateboard and treated castles and gardens like parkour courses. Elio rarely listened to Leo, so the chances of him playing nicely for the Foundation were virtually nil.

"They won't last without me and I don't need their support or money anymore," Leo told Markus.

"True…" he said, his gaze tightening as he studied Leo. "They've reached out to Maximilian to see if he can reason with you."

"Because that is all they can do," Leo said with a wag of his finger. "All they can do is bluff and beg me to be biddable again. Tell them that I have not gone off the rails and that they can allow me a few days to handle my affairs, or they can fuck off forever," he said sweetly.

Markus stared, unblinking for a moment, then bowed. "Very well, sir, but I wish you would hear Sabine out. I'd much rather she were the one to tell them to fuck off," he bit out and left Leo.

"I do not doubt that," Leo said under his breath with a wry chuckle.

Sabine was uniquely gifted when it came to telling the Foundation to back off and give Leo space, averting crisis and confrontation with elegant ease. She could find a way to spin the occasional faux pas or snarl on Leo's part as a win for the House of Hessen—further proof that Leo was a margrave of the people, not a posh, pampered elitist.

Markus was correct in that she was vital to Leo's survival as Margrave, but she had stripped him of something vital to him as a person. She had taken something he cherished so much more—a bright, warm sanctuary in his soul—when she took Jonathon from him.

Leo couldn't begin to fathom how to forgive that until he had Jonathon back. He would never be able to look at Sabine, let alone forgive her, if Jonathon was lost forever. And he knew that he could not live like he had before, hiding and denying his heart while playing the role Sabine had expertly crafted for him.

He should have put his foot down at the very beginning, when matters between him and Jonathon had changed. But Leo had been too besotted and protective of his new secret obsession, too happy to allow Sabine to interfere and possibly spoil his fun. He had greedily kept Jonathon to himself, instead of owning up to his feelings and going on the defensive to protect their relationship.

Despite knowing better and promising Max that he'd follow his heart and never live a lie, Leo had allowed a fantasy and Jonathon to lead him astray while they were at Sch?nbühel. He had hidden the truth from Sabine and by doing that—Leo was realizing in hindsight—had signaled that the entire affair needed to be swept under the rug.

He had allowed Jonathon: barely twenty and glowing with youthful optimism, to take charge and set up boundaries when Leo should have been more vigilant. Leo should have stepped up the first morning instead of pouting and allowing Jonathon to coddle him.

As he had predicted, Leo had woken up riddled with regrets and in awe of his own stupidity, but he had also woken up hard and hungry for more. The sheets and his hands had smelled like sex and Jonathon, winding him up and leaving Leo with only those hands and a cold shower for relief.

He'd stomped into the dining room for breakfast and grumbled like a spoiled child about the rain, sniping at Sabine about an appointment with a tailor.

"Really, Leo! What has gotten into you this morning? Try as I might, I cannot stand in for you for a fitting and you will need new tuxedos this season." Sabine gave him a pointed look as she tossed her napkin on her plate and rose. "I don't know what's worse today, your mood or the weather," she said as she gestured at the windows. The wind howled, battering the castle with rain and sleet.

"I'm sorry. I didn't sleep well last night," Leo said, rubbing his temple to ease the ache behind his eyes. He should have come clean then, instead of blaming it on the lack of sleep and the dreary, overcast morning making him irritable. All he had wanted was to wallow in bed with Jonathon and hear his sweet, soft moans as the storm rolled in, but Leo had to wait until breakfast to see him and they had agreed to act as if nothing had happened.

"Poor thing," Sabine said, clicking her teeth as she went around the table and pressed the back of her hand against his forehead. "You aren't warm, but you should lay down."

"I'm fine," Leo had muttered and swept her hand away. He avoided glancing at Jonathon, too afraid he'd snap again.

"I don't know…" Jonathon winced over his coffee cup at him. "Muriel says it's too damp and her joints are too achy to leave her bed. You're looking a touch…peaked as well, sir."

Leo cast him a pointed look, not in the mood to be ganged up on when he was doing his best to be less grumpy. "Am I?" he asked flatly, earning a concerned hum from Jonathon.

"You might feel better if you listened to Sabine and took a nap," he suggested, then turned when they heard a loud crack and lightning lit up the sky. "It's certainly the weather for it."

Sabine nodded, patting Leo's shoulder. "Why don't you rest? I'll be in Vienna most of the day."

"You're leaving? In this?" Jonathon protested as he spun around in his seat to shake his head at her. "It could get really icy. Can't you reschedule?"

"Oh! It's so sweet of you to worry, Schatz," she said, her lower lip pushing out.

Leo snorted and shook his head. "Sabine drives like a demon. Her father was a rally champion. He sent Sabine and her brothers to Finland to learn how to race in the snow and on ice," he informed Jonathon. "I don't let her drive when we go out together because I prefer to keep my trousers dry, but I never worry about her safety."

She hummed dismissively and shrugged. "I'll be fine. I'm meeting with the event coordinator so we can finalize the details for Leo's ceremony. It's just three weeks away so there's no time to reschedule," she explained and turned and bent so she could search Leo's eyes and face. "You really should get some rest. Want me to send for the doctor?"

"No!" Leo chuckled and waved her off, no longer irritated and willing to play along. "I'll think about a nap, if you'll quit worrying. Don't drive too fast and keep me updated," he told her.

"That is my job," she said as she left them.

Jonathon's eyes followed her and he waited until the sound of her heels faded to flash Leo a sly grin. "I was hoping she'd keep that appointment. I'll meet you in your room in an hour, once we're sure she's safely on her way," he whispered before popping a berry into his mouth. He winked as he chewed and Leo couldn't think of a single reason to be gloomy anymore.

"Excellent," he said and reached for the jam.

Their "nap" was a decadent afternoon of touching and teasing. Jonathon, sore from the night before, insisted on pampering Leo with a long, lavish blowjob. He made Leo's toes curl as he babbled and swore in German. Leo came all over his tongue and chin and watched in lovestruck awe as Jonathon gathered every drop and licked his fingers clean.

Jonathon wasn't sore the next morning when they met after breakfast or later that evening, when he surprised Leo in the Rose Tower at sunset. And he certainly wasn't sore when Leo found Jonathon waiting in his bed that night.

Somehow, Jonathon knew when Leo's need for him was at its peak and was ready to fulfill his wildest fantasies.

"Now?" Leo had asked, a few days later, as Jonathon backed him into an armchair in a hidden alcove in the library. "I had no idea this was here," he noted as he appreciated the arched ceiling and the stained glass window, making Jonathon purr.

"That's why it's perfect. Sabine's in a conference call with your cousin and the archduchess, and my aunt's in a conference call with her eyelids after those mimosas. Brilliant suggestion, by the way," he added as he unzipped Leo's trousers. "We have at least an hour and no one knows we're alone and that this place exists. We can do anything you want…sir," Jonathon murmured seductively, winding Leo up as he stroked his cock.

Leo was so hard, he ached for Jonathon in ways he never imagined he was capable of. Somehow, the ethereal younger man knew how to awaken an animal within Leo that only Jonathon could tame.

"The things you do to me, Jonathon. And when you say my name and call me sir…" Leo said in a gravelly rasp, his control fading as he twisted his fingers in Jonathon's hair. "Everything makes me think of you and every time I think of you, I need you."

"Then, take me," Jonathon replied with a lift of his brow, daring Leo. "I told you, anything you want, whenever you want, and I meant it, Leo. You can have me anywhere inside and outside of this castle, at any time you please," he said, making Leo dizzy.

"Why? You shouldn't encourage me to be so…controlling. How can I know what you want if I'm only pleasing myself?"

"Because that pleases me," Jonathon said in a soft, groaning whimper. "When you had your hand around my throat that first night… I felt so beautiful, so… cherished. I felt safe and I knew you wanted me—that I was the thing you wanted to claim and control."

"Yes!" Leo kissed him hard and guided Jonathon back until they bumped into the chair. "I visited a few…clubs when I was in London, before Max mentioned abdication and I agreed to be Margrave." He had no idea why he was telling Jonathon, but Leo trusted him. "I played with a few subs and wanted to explore more but I can never go back."

Jonathon lifted Leo's hand to his neck. "You can explore with me, sir," he whispered. "Take me as many times as you wish. I want to be yours. I want to be claimed and I want to feel you leaking down my thighs while I'm walking in the garden or up the tower steps," he said, unleashing a wave of desire and hunger that nearly swept Leo off his feet.

"Jonathon… You have no idea," he managed. His hand shook as it curled around Jonathon's throat. It was so long and graceful. Leo was humbled and still in disbelief that Jonathon was real or that anyone could be so perfect. So perfect for him.

"Show me," Jonathon taunted as the hand around Leo's shaft reached lower to cup his sac. "Show me how to serve you," he said, snapping Leo's control like a brittle twig.

"Gott!" His lips smashed against Jonathon's for a brutal kiss before Leo pushed him down onto his knees. "Open!" he ordered and shoved his cock into Jonathon's mouth as soon as his lips parted.

Gleeful gurgles burst from Jonathon and his eyes rolled euphorically. No matter how rough Leo was, Jonathon wanted more. He moaned like a siren and licked and sucked more and more enthusiastically despite the tears and drool streaming down his cheeks and chin.

It was Leo who broke first and begged for mercy when he spied Jonathon fingering himself, one hand deep in the back of his unzipped jeans and an opened packet of lube by his knee.

"Enough!" Leo declared as he lifted Jonathon. Leo yanked down his jeans and turned Jonathon as they dropped into the armchair. It only took a moment of juggling before Jonathon was impaled and Leo was engulfed in slick, gripping heat.

"Oh, fuck!" Jonathon gulped as he arched in Leo's arms. "You're so deep!"

Leo was lost as his nose sifted through Jonathon's hair, the fresh, clean scent intoxicating as their bodies fused in the cool darkness of their secret library sanctuary. "Ich will dich so richtig hart durchficken," he whispered raggedly, earning a drunken nod from Jonathon.

"Yes, to whatever you just said," he mumbled, then held onto the arms of the chair when Leo grabbed hold of his hips and lifted him.

"Have to. Fuck you. Hard," Leo repeated through clenched teeth as he pulled Jonathon onto his cock and bucked his hips, making them both gasp and swear. He set a fast, bouncing pace, hypnotized by the muffled clap of Jonathon's ass against his lap and it was bliss. Leo had never felt happier or lighter as he came, biting Jonathon's shoulder to hold back a scream. And Leo felt like a king, holding a delirious Jonathon in his arms and licking their cum off his fingers. "Be careful what you wish for. I could get used to this," he had warned Jonathon, only to receive a drowsy, sated purr.

"Anytime and anywhere, sir. I am yours to use in any way you wish," he said, but Leo was the one who had been slain as Jonathon stroked his cheek lovingly. "How about this? I'll wear something red, so you know to ‘stop' and ask first, in case I'm not feeling…up to everything or I need a break. Otherwise, do whatever you wish."

"Anything?" Leo verified and was tempted to ask if pinching was an option because he was sure he was dreaming.

But Jonathon was true to his word and he never wore red. He obediently dropped to his knees or produced a packet of lube whenever Leo needed him.

"Ich will dich! Jetzt!" he said whenever he passed Jonathon in a hallway, the library, or the tower stairwell, too overcome with lust to think straight.

A bemused "Here?" was Jonathon's only response as Leo spun him and pushed him up against a stone wall or bent him over the back of a sofa.

"Here," he would growl in Jonathon's ear like a barbarian as he took him hard and quick on the stairs.

What had initially begun as a month of boredom and isolation had turned into the most peaceful and decadently sensual period of Leo's life. But those weeks were also the happiest and most fulfilling and they were the only time Leo felt understood and like he mattered to someone. Not the Leo who was responsible for three younger brothers or the Leo who would be Margrave, but the man within Leo.

Jonathon saw past the title, the glamor, and the wealth and found the man Leo hid from the rest of the world. In the safety and privacy of Leo's suite, he could let down his guard with Jonathon. They explored, shared, and confessed their wildest and silliest secrets and they were real. The sex was phenomenal but it was the intimacy and freedom that Leo cherished most.

"Do you believe in fairy tales?" Jonathon had looked like pure temptation, lounging naked in Leo's bed with their book.

He read to Jonathon every night. First in German, then translating into English because Jonathon wanted to learn. "Of course, I believe," Leo had replied while pouring a glass of champagne for them to share. "I found a magical creature in my bed, didn't I?"

"Stop it." Jonathon rolled his eyes, scooting over as Leo lowered onto the bed and put an arm around him.

"You are magical," he insisted, kissing Jonathon's hair. "And much of my life has seemed like a fairy tale, in the best and worst ways."

"Because you're going to be Margrave?"

Leo shook his head. "Time will tell, but that could be one of the worst parts. I could be the worst," he chuckled wryly.

"You really don't want it, do you?" Jonathon leaned back in Leo's arms, frowning at him. "Why didn't you tell Max?"

The thought of Theo as Margrave tickled and horrified Leo. "I didn't want my brother to carry that burden. Theo is…" He took a few sips of champagne, using the moment to steady himself. "I wouldn't have been able to handle a whole month here if Theo wasn't looking after Matteo and Elio. It's better now that I have you, of course," he said while rubbing his cheek against Jonathon's hair. "But he's always been my rock and he is the better version of me."

"What?" Jonathon laughed and shook his head. "You are literally the perfect man!" he said, making Leo shush him.

"I am not, but maybe I misspoke or that wasn't the right word. Theo and I could be twins, I'm only a year older and we both look like our mother. He got my father's charm and sense of humor, though. All of it," Leo added with a shake of his head. "And most of my mother's as well. He's always been a tiny bit smarter and nothing ever upsets Theo, he's always cool and knows exactly what to do. He would have made an excellent margrave but I'm glad I was born first."

Jonathon frowned as he chewed on a thumbnail. "Why? And why don't you let him, if he'd be so good at it and you don't want to?"

"Stop it," Leo said softly and took Jonathon's hand so he couldn't bite his nails. "I saw what it did to Max and I knew Ella. My brother is a romantic like my father was and a rebel when it comes to helping others. The Foundation would stomp out every bit of that and I want Theo to be free to love like our parents."

"You don't want to fall in love like them?" The furrow in Jonathon's brow deepened with concern.

"It wasn't a matter of not wanting, but a matter of what I stood to gain and am I even capable? Do I have the capacity to love the way my parents did?" Leo said with an apologetic cringe. "We weren't poor by any means, but we did not live like the rest of the von Hessens. While it was never publicly acknowledged, my father had been quietly disowned because he married a commoner. And she was an Italian, to make matters worse," Leo said dramatically, making Jonathon snort.

"God, you royals can be such snobs."

"I won't argue with you. They met at university and it was love at first sight. My father had always been the black sheep and was probably the first von Hessen to marry for love and have more than one child. My grandfather and the Foundation might not have approved of her, but my mother had four boys and we are the last von Hessen males, unless Max's daughters have sons."

Jonathon let out a defiant humph, grinning. "I'm glad she got the last laugh."

"She did because I'm going to dedicate most of the lands I'll inherit to Ottavia von Hessen. She loved my father and she loved nature. She would be proud to see parks all over Austria in her name."

"That's a beautiful way to honor her." Jonathon sniffed softly, pulling Leo's arm tighter around him and snuggling into his side. "What happened to them?"

"They were in Italy, in the home my mother grew up in, visiting her sisters. There was a storm and the house was hit by lightning and my parents weren't able to get out in time."

"I'm so sorry," Jonathon said, turning so he could kiss Leo. "I'm so, so sorry."

"Thank you," he said simply. "That was one of the darker parts of the tale. I was seventeen and wouldn't have been able to support my brothers if Max hadn't demanded that the family and the Foundation help us. He was only acting Margrave at the time—his father hadn't passed away yet—and the Foundation hadn't wanted to defy the old Margrave. But Max said it was outrageous and would have been a scandal to abandon four von Hessen children at such a tragic time."

Jonathon whistled in admiration. "Well played, Max."

"Indeed. He was always a true and noble prince. He and Ella came to the funeral and Max insisted we stay with them until I was able to set up a household for the four of us."

"So, you did know Ella. Muriel says she was a sad, lost child who never grew up."

Leo winced and pushed out a hard breath. "She was but there were moments when she was present and she would let you in. You could see that there was something kind and bright inside, but she came from a monstrous family and then the Foundation and life with Max made her a miserable person. I didn't want that for Theo and I don't think I have the ability or the capacity to love as easily or as well as he does. I've always been…the opposite. I take longer to trust and I don't want to care because I already have too much to care about with my brothers and my work and being Margrave."

There was a dubious snort from Jonathon. "I'd believe you if I didn't know you , Leo. You are just as good and charming and loving as Theo. You're a bit more selective, is all," he said, tipping his nose back. "And I refuse to believe he's hotter than you."

Leo laughed softly. "Thank you. That's why I have to be the next Margrave. I want to do it for my brothers and the environment. But I have to do this for Max. He was there for us when my family was on the brink of disaster and he restored our name and our legacy. There's no way I would have told Max no when he asked."

"I had no idea. Muriel said the two of you were close and that his father and grandfather were strict and could be cruel. She said there was a falling out after your father had married, but I don't think she knew that it was that bad, or about Max."

"It wasn't the sort of thing people in Max's and your Aunt Muriel's circles like to discuss and the Foundation kept it out of the media. My parents were shunned but it didn't matter—we didn't care—until we lost them."

"That must have been so hard, having to be both parents to your brothers and readjust to life as a von Hessen while going to school," Jonathon said in a heavy whisper. "You probably didn't have a lot of time to be charming or have a sense of humor."

He would say things like that, sweeping Leo off his feet and knocking the wind out of him. Aside from Theo, there wasn't another person on the planet who saw Leo so clearly. He had missed that as much as he had missed touching and holding Jonathon.

The years passed quickly and while Leo had made a few attempts, his partners were too overwhelmed by his title or they were the wrong kind of submissive when he was brave enough to ask. To begin with, he had no desire to be called "master." Leo didn't want a slave to subjugate or degrade, but someone to cherish and pamper at all times, who in return, enjoyed relinquishing control and found comfort in being submissive.

Like Leo, Jonathon's interest in BDSM wasn't purely sexual and rooted in curiosity, but a hunger for something lacking in his life. In Jonathon's case, it had been a lack of boundaries and care that Leo was all too happy to provide. So it was particularly hurtful to see how much damage Jonathon had done to himself without Leo there to care for him.

He suspected that Jonathon had done most of it to punish Leo and end any chances of a reunion between them. But none of it mattered to Leo. He hadn't been a saint either and he knew how lonely it was, touching someone else when your heart was broken and the pieces belonged to another. Leo added all those acts of self-harm to his list of misdeeds, vowing that he'd make amends for them as well.

"I can't do that until I find him," he looked toward 72nd Street and the Olympia, willing Jonathon to reconsider and come out of hiding.

Apologizing to Muriel and seeking her approval was probably part of Leo's penance and a necessary side quest, in order to gain an audience with Jonathon and a chance to plead his case. That was more than fair and Leo was happy to march right up to 6A, but she was still refusing to speak to him or his representatives.

"Markus says she has a dog…" he murmured, tapping his chin. "I'll send a gift for the poodle. Perhaps that will help."