Chapter 6

Six

The rain let up briefly on Sunday morning so Leo took a long walk in Central Park with Markus following, grumbling two paces behind him.

"I need to think and I will go mad in that suite," Leo told Markus as he strode over a bridge, ignoring the other pedestrians.

"I can certainly sympathize, sir, but we should be making preparations for the trip home. Your flight leaves in the morning and Sabine would be?—"

Leo spun and planted a hand in the middle of Markus's chest, halting him before they collided. "Cancel everything. I'm not leaving. And I don't want to hear about Sabine."

"You need her," Markus stated firmly. "I am deeply disappointed by what she's done—if it's as bad as we suspect," he qualified. "But you still have responsibilities and obligations and we can't manage those without her. I'm not sure if we can make it back to Austria without Sabine, if I'm being honest."

"None of it matters if I don't find Jonathon and make this right," Leo replied slowly and loudly, in case Markus hadn't understood the first dozen times he had said it. "I will think about hearing Sabine's apology after Jonathon and I have talked and figured out what the hell happened. I will hear her apology after Jonathon has accepted mine."

Leo glared at Markus when he started to argue, then turned and marched onward, taking the path on the left. His eyes were dry and burned after a night spent staring at the ceiling and cataloging his crimes.

It was Jonathon who had stepped over the line first, catching Leo off guard in a moment of weakness. The quiet friendship that had formed between them those early days had its tense moments, leaving Leo flustered over a lingering look or an accidental touch. But he'd told himself that Americans flirted more and that Jonathon was just younger and more comfortable with his sexuality, not to take his remarks too seriously.

Then, Jonathon had boldly challenged Leo, one gray, chilly day at Sch?nbühel, throwing down a scandalous gauntlet and igniting an obsession. Leo had been wandering the terrace, hoping to find Jonathon with his aunt on one of their walks. He had come around the corner and smiled when he heard the theme song from Indiana Jones , only to spot a pair of Converse dangling above his head. His first instinct had been to panic and Leo had reacted, snatching Jonathon off the ladder and demanding an explanation.

"Are you going to entertain me…sir?"

God help Leo, but he had been more than ready to take Jonathon right there on the terrace. From that moment on, Leo thought of little else and could come up with only one sane explanation: Jonathon was joking.

That was the only explanation Leo could accept. Would accept as he pretended to read an email from Andreas the following morning. Jonathon had acted like nothing peculiar had occurred between them at dinner the prior evening and then he had smiled and chatted blithely with Muriel about the overcast morning and their plans for the day during breakfast.

Americans' manners were generally more casual and they were rarely serious about sex. They were far more likely to make jokes about having sex and the types of sex people had, while clinging to their Puritanical attitudes toward nudity and fear of the actual act.

It meant nothing and Jonathon didn't mean it.

Ich glaube, ich spinne.

Leo had told himself that it was just his exile getting to him and that he was making too much of an offhand comment. But that hadn't stopped him from imagining the possibilities. And just imagining had him squirming with discomfort and his conscience shuddered at the thought of how inappropriate it would be.

Nothing could be more improper than taking advantage of an impressionable and inexperienced young man while he was a guest in Leo's home. Anyone could accuse Leo of using his influence and preying upon a longtime family friend to appease his primal, carnal needs while on holiday, and they would not be wrong. Because that was exactly what Leo had envisioned while Jonathon blushed and teased about being entertained.

Leo knew just how he'd entertain Jonathon, but his instincts had also warned that there was far more than years between them. Jonathon was bright and beautiful with an effervescent curiosity that enthralled Leo, and he did not want to be the one to tarnish it.

"Are you going to entertain me…sir?"

He had certainly sounded like he understood.

Once upon a time, before Leo had to worry about the Foundation peeking over his shoulder and he was just a research student at Oxford, he had attended a few private clubs. He had only attended a few, a few times, because so much of his time was devoted to his studies, his military service, and his brothers. But Leo had experimented and learned enough to know that he craved dominance during his sexual encounters, just as he craved it in his work, social, and familial relationships.

That probably wouldn't surprise anyone, but Leo had yet to find anyone outside of those clubs who understood the type of submission he craved from his partners. Granted, Leo hadn't dated many people, he was so focused on his research and the various initiatives he had been involved in. And while he had a few enjoyable nights with some interesting men and women, Leo hadn't felt the right kind of chemistry or comfortable enough to explain his preferences.

So, Leo had assumed that exploring rough, kinky sex with a submissive partner was no longer an option. Until Jonathon had purred like a bratty sub Leo might meet in one of those exclusive, adult clubs. He had called Leo sir and started a fire in his brain and his briefs that wouldn't be extinguished.

"Whatever you think," Leo had murmured to Sabine, too distracted by the dream he had had about Jonathon. Leo had tossed and turned, forbidding himself to think of the beautiful younger man, but he had followed Leo into a wild, writhing exchange in the tower. Leo was almost ashamed of himself for casting the shy, sensitive, young artist in such a torrid fantasy.

Aside from a few remarks and his baffling offer on the terrace, Jonathon had given no indication that he was experienced in such matters or even interested in exploring anything other than a casual conversation with Leo.

Would he?

What if Jonathon was being cautious and waiting for Leo to make the first move?

"Did you hear me? Are you alright?" Sabine asked and gave his cheek a soft pat before checking his forehead for a fever.

"I'm fine," Leo said, laughing as he held her off. "But I think I might go for a walk."

"You have been restless all morning. Maybe a little exercise will do you some good. I have a dozen calls to make," she said with a sigh, so Leo had left her, slipping out the terrace door and heading around to the library.

Leo recalled that Jonathon planned to spend the dreary morning reading after his walk with Muriel since the light wasn't right anywhere for painting landscapes. He found Jonathon in a chair by the window, his legs hanging over the arm as he chewed on a thumbnail. The creaking of the old door announced Leo's arrival and Jonathon smiled in greeting, brightening the gray morning more than the sun ever could.

"Don't let me disturb you," Leo had said, strolling past the library's historical documents collection. He clasped his hands behind his back, attempting to appear relaxed and casual.

"Muriel sent me after her next book. I told her I'd spotted a few Agatha Christies in here," he explained and held up the book he had been reading. "She likes new books on her Kindle and makes the text as big as street signs, but Muriel prefers her classics in print for the ambiance," he explained.

"I do appreciate ebooks," Leo conceded while idly selecting a book and opening it. "My back does, at least. It's made my luggage a lot lighter, not having to carry so many books."

Jonathon's lips twisted thoughtfully. "Do you carry many bags these days?"

"I—" Leo opened his mouth to argue, then winced. "I don't suppose I do lately. But I assume someone appreciates that I don't have dozens of books in my bags."

"So many?" Jonathon swung his legs around and sat up. "I didn't realize being Margrave required so much reading."

Leo shook his head, chuckling. "It doesn't. Most of my reading consists of ecological studies and poetry."

"Poetry?" Jonathon sounded surprised, but Leo nodded.

"I don't always have the time or patience to read a whole novel. But a good poet can tell an entire story—move me the way a whole novel can—with just a few words or sentences."

"There is beauty in directness and brevity is an art in itself," Jonathon mused.

"I think so," Leo said, although he felt like he was being an indirect, bumbling fool. He glanced at the book in his hands and rolled his eyes: a cattle breeding guide. "Most of the time," he murmured while sliding it back into place. He had no idea why he had sought Jonathon out. Especially when Leo knew that Jonathon had been joking and this was a dangerous, foolish game.

"I believe the poetry is over there." Jonathon stood, waving at the opposite corner of the room.

"Yes, it is," Leo agreed, nodding. He attempted a breezy smile and gestured vaguely. "Are you finding yourself more…entertained," he said and immediately regretted it when Jonathon's brows jumped and his eyes widened. "I mean, I hope you won't feel the need to go climbing or burgling to pass the time."

A sweet, soft laugh wafted from Jonathon. "You have my word: I will only explore the rooms Frau Fischer said I could use." He headed for the door and Leo hurried to intercept him.

"That's not necessary." Leo caught his cardigan's sleeve, then immediately released it. "What I mean to say is…" He flashed Jonathon a wide smile, struggling for anything sensible. "It is my wish for you to make yourself at home while you're here at Sch?nbühel. Go anywhere you wish. Just do so safely."

Jonathon nodded, hugging the book and canting toward Leo. "I will. And thank you," he added, smiling at Leo.

"Thank you? For what?" Leo half expected Jonathon to be sore about the matter. He would probably have to apologize if it had been Matteo or Elio.

"‘Good luck dressing yourself with a broken arm,'" Jonathon declared and pulled a face. "That's all Muriel would ever say and Tilly would just remind me to take my phone, in case I needed to call for help. I don't recall either of them trying to stop me or making sure I wasn't going anywhere too dangerous."

"They don't sound like the most responsible guardians for a small child."

"They weren't," Jonathon said as he held up a hand. "But I survived and was able to entertain myself because my aunt made sure I had everything else I needed. A lot of kids can't say the same."

"I suppose. Your aunt has grown on me," Leo admitted, making Jonathon snort.

"Reserve judgment," he advised. "And if Herr Weber complains that she's stalking him, he's probably telling you the truth."

"Our butler?" Leo asked with a frown. "Why?"

Jonathon groaned, sounding exasperated. "Now, she's the one you have to worry about getting bored. I'm hoping this will scratch the itch and she'll refrain from launching a full scale investigation," he explained as he waved the book at Leo.

"That is concerning," he agreed, then a voice Leo rarely heard whispered for him to play along and take a chance, so he plucked up the nerve. "I hope you aren't suggesting that I entertain your aunt. Muriel has grown on me and while I do prefer my women older and more confident, I don't take orders very well."

"No!" A surprised laugh slipped from Jonathon as his cheeks turned bright pink. "Muriel definitely likes to give orders and I wouldn't peg you as being all that submissive. Although, I probably wouldn't peg you at all, because I'm not a top," he added with an exaggerated wink.

He had shocked Leo again. But only because it appeared that Jonathon might be more aware, and possibly experienced, than Leo had assumed. His eyes narrowed as he studied Jonathon, attempting to gauge his interest and understanding. "I do enjoy a good pegging, once in a while, but I tend to seek out more submissive partners," he confided and noted the flaring of Jonathon's pupils and how much deeper the pink on his cheeks got.

"Well…" Jonathon licked his lips and nodded jerkily. "That's certainly…entertaining. Not for Muriel, obviously."

"I would not be interested in Muriel," Leo confirmed as he raised a knuckle, but stopped himself before tracing Jonathon's cheek. "What am I doing?" He held up his hands, taking a large step back and shaking his head. "My apologies. I don't know why I lose my head whenever I'm around you," he said, then made a hasty escape and cursed himself for the rest of the day for being a reckless idiot.

It was bad enough that he had even considered seducing a twenty-year-old, but Leo had to make an ass out of himself while doing it. Thankfully, Jonathon had smoothed everything over later, when everyone gathered for cocktails before dinner. He sidled up to Leo while Sabine and Muriel were discussing the gowns they had packed for the upcoming ball season.

"It happens to me too, you know," Jonathon had whispered over his gin and tonic.

Leo raised a brow, leaning in. "What happens?"

Mist.

He was in trouble. The smile that lit up Jonathon's eyes and curved his lips was so much more intoxicating than the whiskey in Leo's glass. How could one be coy yet clever and captivating at the same time?

"I lose my head too and I say the silliest things whenever you're around," he said, clicking his teeth at himself. "I'm having a terrible time paying attention. My mind is in a completely different place these days."

"And where is it right now?" Leo had dared, quietly.

He answered with a soft, seductive hum, glancing at the sofa to make sure his aunt and Sabine were still occupied. "At the moment… I'm thinking about the Rose Tower and how I'll pass the rest of the evening after dinner," Jonathon said with a casual shrug, but he had set off alarm bells.

Leo knew what Jonathon was suggesting and while his heart and his body had screamed yes, his common sense and self-preservation warned that their game had just taken a very serious and dangerous turn.

"I know better, and you shouldn't tempt me," he whispered to Jonathon, giving his head a tight shake. "Normally, it wouldn't be so difficult to keep my distance, but I find you're the only person whose company I enjoy here. I would regret it deeply if my actions caused that to change," he explained, then excused himself before Jonathon had a chance to tempt Leo again.

Looking back, Leo could see that an affair with Jonathon was inevitable and that his resistance had been flimsy and merely to appease his own conscience. Jonathon would obliterate Leo's self-control less than twenty-four hours later. And like all good submissives, Jonathon would be the one holding Leo in the palm of his hand when they weren't having sex.

That was exactly what Leo had craved and Jonathan had somehow instinctively sussed out that they were a perfect fit for each other. Leo's time at Sch?nbühel turned into a true retreat, healing and nurturing his spirit and his body, once he had submitted to Jonathon's will.

Sch?nbühel would be the last time Leo would ever experience that kind of control in his relationships and his sex life. The power that came with being the Margrave of Hessen had vanquished most of Leo's personal freedoms, ironically. Living in the public eye at the whim of a board of directors made it difficult to experiment. He couldn't risk a potential partner reacting poorly and announcing that Leo was a sexual deviant.

"Jonathon understands much more than most people give him credit for," Leo said to Markus, returning to Central Park and his many, many regrets.

He was surrounded by trees and nature, at least. They must have found the center of the park because it felt like the city was a thousand miles away, he couldn't see any buildings or hear the traffic. Leo filled his lungs and quieted his thoughts, thinking only of Jonathon and all he had learned in the weeks they had spent together, smiling as he turned toward 72nd Street and the Olympia.

"He won't have gone far from Muriel. He'll be hiding somewhere close by, with lots of light."