Chapter 15

Fifteen

It appeared that the von Hessens were truly taking over Manhattan. Leo was greeted by the sound of laughter and horseplay when he came downstairs to eat his breakfast. He had pinched himself when he found Theo and Matteo slapping and poking at each other's faces as they tussled in the living room.

"I hope this doesn't mean that Eli is here as well," Leo murmured on his way to the room service tray for a cup of coffee.

That earned a loud laugh from Matteo as he pushed away from Theo and went to Leo for a quick but tight hug. "He's far too busy and says your lovelife is ‘none of his business, thank you very much.'"

"Is that a direct quote?" Leo asked and Matteo pointed.

"Yes. And he ‘sends his love, or something.'"

"Perfectly sensible, for once," Leo noted appreciatively, raising an expectant brow at Matteo. "Why are you here?"

Matteo narrowed his eyes at Leo. "You're welcome," he said pointedly. "I was going to stay home and keep an eye on Elio, but he's ‘working' and cannot be disturbed," he explained with a sarcastic curl of his fingers. "I hope he blows himself up. I could have gone to Paris or Rome, but I heard you were in trouble."

"I'm fine and I'm working on it," Leo said, causing Theo to hiss as his head rocked from side to side.

"He's a mess, but we're making progress."

"I am not a mess," Leo muttered and added a spoonful of sugar to his cup and stirred. He took a drink and a deep breath. "I am at a temporary disadvantage and we are at a standstill, but I am using the time to learn from the past and my many, many mistakes."

Theo made a suffering sound. "He is moping and punishing himself," he said, causing Matteo to perk up.

"Oh, Leo's so good at moping and blaming himself for things he can't control. I'm sorry I've missed all of that," he said, giving his head a shake. "Crucifying yourself doesn't make you Jesus, Leo. Try to remember that you aren't divine."

"With brothers like this, how could I forget?" he asked himself, staring out the window. It was the first sunny morning since his arrival and he was considering a long walk. If anything, it would give him a quiet place to think. The Grand Penthouse Suite at the Plaza was no longer a good option as it had now become a zoo.

"I'm glad you're here and in one piece, I suppose," Leo said, growing distant.

He didn't agree with Theo's assessment, that there was no point in dwelling when you couldn't change the past. Nearly every aspect of Leo's life for the last decade had changed in just a few short days, thanks to his dwelling. For years, Leo believed he'd made a wise and selfless sacrifice for Jonathon's happiness. Now, those years were changing and so was the toll that had been paid so that Leo could be the ideal margrave. He'd thought the sacrifice had been his alone, but it had grown and spread significantly as he took account.

His betrayal began within a few days of leaving Sch?nbühel, during the assumption ceremony. Leo hadn't been able to put his finger on it at the time, but in hindsight, his gut had ached because someone vital had been missing. And when Leo had taken his place in one of the formal drawing rooms in the Palais Auersperg, he felt nothing but boredom and irritation as he regarded the people assembled to witness the transfer. He did appreciate his brothers for behaving and quietly posing next to him in their best suits. But no matter how many times he told himself it was impossible, Leo kept looking for Jonathon.

"What's wrong?" Max had whispered out of the side of his mouth.

"Nothing. Why?" Leo had replied, a touch guiltily, and offered him a polite smile. "You look good, Max," he said as they waited, earning a soft chuckle from Max as he glanced down at his dress uniform.

"Thank you. I can't really take credit, though," he said and Leo hummed in agreement. Max turned to him. "You look rather sharp as well. I like how your medals are…just so," he said with a teasing grin.

"Do you?" Leo smoothed a hand over them and nodded at his own ensemble. They were wearing nearly identical white coats, gold sashes, and red trousers, both having served as officers after university. But Max's coat boasted a few more ribbons and medals than Leo's. "Someone did an excellent job arranging them. It was probably Sabine," he mused and Max smiled.

"What would you do without Sabine?" he asked, making Leo snort and shake his head.

"The better question is: what would you do without Sabine? We both have her to thank for this," he said with a wry snort. "I doubt the Foundation would have allowed your plan to go through if she hadn't pushed so hard and promised she'd whip me into shape."

That earned a heavy sigh from Max. "I didn't expect as much of a fight over you, but it helped to have an Aigner on your side," he said and Leo smirked.

"It also didn't hurt that Sabine's uncle is a board member."

Sabine's grandfather had been childhood friends with Max's grandfather and had been instrumental in the preservation of the House of Hessen during its exile and its return to Austria and reestablishment after the wars.

"They're asking again," Max said quietly, nodding in Sabine's direction. She was standing in the back with the Archbishop of Vienna, giving him a stern lecture from the look of things. The order man's gaze was cast down and his bald head was bright red as Sabine wagged a finger at him. "There was some hope that your retreat might take a romantic turn," he confided.

Leo turned to Max, frowning. "With Sabine? She's…" He shook his head and faced the room, his nose wrinkling as he considered Sabine. "Terrifying," he whispered, causing Max to laugh and the room to freeze as everyone stared with jaws agape.

"His Czech accent is terrible," Max said to the old woman in the front row, earning a baffled look.

"Good save," Leo muttered under his breath and Max waved it off.

"I stand beside you, a profoundly grateful man. A new man, in some ways, and I don't think anything could bring my mood down," he said, but winced in Sabine's direction. "She could," he amended and shuddered. "She does seem intimidating but I assumed you liked that."

Leo threw him a hard look. "In an assistant, yes."

"She's probably not much fun," Max agreed.

It wasn't a surprise that the Foundation wanted Leo to settle down as quickly as possible or that Sabine would be their first choice. Leo just thought he'd made it clear that she would never be his choice. "I wouldn't know."

"I'll advise them to let it go."

"Thank you."

The ceremony began shortly after that, and thankfully, it was brief. The Archbishop blessed Leo and then Max signed a decree, naming Leo the new Margrave. He was congratulated by a dizzying array of Austrian celebrities, politicians, and members of the European aristocracy, including Prince Charles. There was a string quartet and a light banquet, but Leo couldn't remember anything beyond that, he had been in such a hurry to return to his townhouse and call Jonathon.

"What do you mean he isn't answering?"

"I keep trying but it just—" Sabine stopped when the recording told them to leave a message. She held the phone in front of her face. "Hello, Mr. Hawthorne. It's Sabine Aigner again. Please return my call as soon as possible and let us know that you've made it back to London safely." She ended the call and held up a hand. "I don't know what else to do, dearest. I've left text messages, voicemails, and emails."

Leo swept a hand through his hair, twisting it in frustration. "You're sure their train made it back to France safely and nothing happened when they were crossing the Channel?"

"I think we would have heard something on the news, but I did call Ms. Hormsby's hotel and she checked in yesterday evening."

"I don't understand. He promised he'd call to let me know they had made it and we were going to try the face call," Leo told her and Sabine hugged her arms, wincing.

"Maybe he's busy?" She mouthed an apology when Leo sneered. "I'm sorry, dearest. I did tell him that you needed to be 100% focused today. Maybe he's giving you space so you can focus and will call you in the next few days."

"That doesn't make any sense," Leo said and she shrugged.

"I don't know! He's an American and he's twenty, " she added in a whisper. "Maybe he's playing it cool and giving you a chance to miss him."

Leo shook his head. "That makes even less sense. Jonathon's too mature to play games and we had a plan, Sabine."

She pushed out a hard breath, squinting at him. "Perhaps Mr. Hawthorne lost his phone and is waiting for a new replacement. That would be a nightmare on a regular day, but while traveling?" She crossed herself. "That would explain why he hasn't responded to text messages or emails as well."

"That must be it!" Leo laughed in relief.

A few days later, there was still no response from Jonathon, but Sabine was able to confirm that he was in London with his aunt, from his social media accounts.

Leo couldn't make sense of it. "Something's wrong. He wouldn't shut me out like this without giving me a reason."

"Perhaps he realized how impossible and dangerous this was and did what was best for both of you," she suggested, then ducked apologetically when Leo shot her a hard glare. "I'm sorry! I'm sure he was just as carried away while you were together at Sch?nbühel. But Mr. Hawthorne is an extremely pragmatic and independent young man. He may have simply changed his mind after returning to the real world," she said gently, but Leo shook his head, growing angrier and more frustrated.

"You don't understand, Sabine, and you don't know him like I do. If I could just talk to Jonathon or get a message to him I know?—"

"Dearest," Sabine sighed at him, her head tilting sympathetically. That only enraged Leo more. He didn't want her pity and he would not be condescended to like he was some naive teenager. "You know I would move heaven and earth for you, but I cannot force Mr. Hawthorne to talk to you if he does not wish to," she said slowly. "What if it got out that you were stalking a university student?" Sabine said in a nervous whisper.

"Stop!" Leo held up a hand, halting her. "I have no intentions of stalking Jonathon, but I know this isn't right."

"Let's give it a few days and I'll try again this weekend," she suggested hopefully. "He might call you once he's settled in at school."

According to Sabine, she was never able to get through and Leo's schedule was nonstop. No matter when Leo asked her to call and no matter how many emails either of them sent, there was no response.

"That's it. I'm going to London," Leo had announced, four weeks after they had left Sch?nbühel, causing Sabine to literally drop everything as they were leaving a meeting with his and Max's Austrian legal teams. The folders and her planner spilled to the floor when she attempted to catch a glass door with her shoulder and tripped into the hallway.

"I can make arrangements for the week after next," she told him as they lowered to collect everything.

"I want to leave tonight," Leo said quietly but she grabbed his wrist.

"We're leaving for Cannes tomorrow. The whole week is packed with screenings and events. It's your first public appearance. We've put things in place, Leo," she whispered back, her eyes filled with concern as they held his. "Please don't blow this up. It's supposed to be your international debut as Margrave," she reminded him.

"Das ist mir schei?egal!" he spat as he rose and stormed toward the elevators. He stabbed the call button, fuming and ready to leave Sabine if she couldn't catch up.

He had endured a mind-numbing number of fittings—new suits, new tuxedos, new shoes, a custom smoking jacket… He had even posed for a portrait and was fitted for a crown that would only appear in said portrait and be displayed in a glass case in the House of Hessen Foundation's Gallery of Cultural Preservation in Vienna.

Several star-studded appearances had been arranged and Leo was set to present an award while he was there. He had no clue what it was for and who he was meeting, though. Leo had been too consumed with worry about Jonathon to care or do more than nod along and agree to do his part. Now, flying off to Cannes to be the latest playboy prince on the world stage felt like the point of no return, or like he was taking the wrong road and speeding away from what he wanted—needed.

"Dearest, wait!" she hissed and dove into the elevator just before the doors closed.

"I can't make another move until I've talked to Jonathon. Or, at least seen that he's alright," he explained before she could warn him about stalking Jonathon again. "If he knows I'm there and still won't talk to me, I will accept that," he promised.

"Do you have to fly all the way to London to do that, though?" she asked gently. "He went to a play last night with his aunt and according to his Instagram feed, he's considering returning to New York with her."

"He went to a play?" Leo wanted to know more: what play was it? Had Jonathon enjoyed it? What did he wear to the theater? Leo was tempted to ask Sabine to show him, but was afraid to see that Jonathon was having a good time and didn't miss him.

"He seems…fine," she said with a decisive nod. "He's fine and I wish we could say the same for you."

"I am fine." That was a lie, but Leo had to make Sabine and the rest of the world believe it. Jonathon was settling into life in London and going to plays with his aunt so Leo did his best to accept that it was over.

He went to Cannes and smiled for the cameras while his heart grew heavier and colder with each passing day.

"Call him again," Leo had ordered as he dressed for dinner on their second night in Cannes. He was a nervous wreck, worse than before the assumption ceremony, and he felt almost as dreadful as he did prior to his parents' funeral.

Sabine rushed the stylist and her assistant out of the room, bracing her hand on the door and loudly praying for patience before turning to Leo. She pressed her hands together. "Of all the times, Leo. I am begging you to focus. Everyone's watching you and all the people you want donations and support from for your causes are here, dearest."

"I know," Leo agreed stiffly, swinging back to the mirror and fixing his bow tie.

"So far, the Foundation is happy and they're calling you ‘the planet's prince' in the papers. Isn't that what you wanted?"

He nodded at his reflection. This was exactly what he had wanted—what he had signed up for—and everything was going according to Sabine's well-laid plans, but Leo didn't care. The last month had been a whirlwind with dozens of meetings and appearances. Leo shook hands, got in and out of limos, attended conferences, slept in trains, gave speeches, met with investors, met with entrepreneurs, flew to Paris and to New York and back. He had even sat with a portraitist and approved the changes to the Margrave's residence in Vienna.

None of it had made more than a fleeting impression. Leo was too hurt and confused as to why Jonathon had cut off all communication without any explanation. They had made promises and Jonathon had been worried that Leo would forget about him.

That couldn't have been an act.

"Are you sure these were the numbers and that this was the email address he gave you?" Leo asked as he reached inside his coat and removed the folded page in the chest pocket.

"Why are you still—?" Sabine asked weakly but she nodded. "That's what he gave me. You know that's his handwriting."

"I know," Leo agreed, growing distant as he remembered Jonathon scribbling in those odd little journals. Leo must have asked Sabine a dozen times if she was sure she hadn't given him the wrong piece of paper. But Leo had never seen a Mead composition notebook until he met Jonathon and it was definitely his handwriting. "I can't take it back if I do this tonight and I have no way of knowing if this is what he wants," he whispered, allowing Sabine to see how tormented he was, not knowing why Jonathon had changed his mind and if the arranged PR date was the right thing to do.

Royce Sandringham's people had hinted that he was involved with an older friend whose connections to the British F1 driver would do more than raise brows. At twenty-eight, Sandringham had a squeaky clean reputation for being a gentleman on and off the track. None of that interested Leo, but he was happy to act as a decoy if it threw the media off their tracks for a while.

That was also why Sabine had engineered the outing. "Don't forget that Weber is still in hiding and that your runaway butler isn't the only bit of gossip from our holiday. His attorneys have hinted that their client may have some interesting information to share with the media, if he can't wiggle out of this," she said as she went to Leo and gave his tie a few tugs to straighten it.

"I haven't forgotten," Leo said with a roll of his eyes. The Foundation had heard about Herr Weber and there had been whispers about Leo's American guests, particularly the young art student.

She made an irritated sound. "It's so tedious, but it would say just as much about you if you don't go out with someone while you're here."

"I know," he said and let her check his hair once more, tuning her and the evening out.

If Leo went to an event like Cannes alone, people would assume he was taken or calling attention to his bachelorhood for a reason. Why in the world would a man like the Margrave of Hessen not take a date to one of the most celebrity and star-studded events in the world? Arm candy was practically mandatory if you weren't in one of the films and escorting a costar.

"He's perfect, Leo. Everyone will think you're a striking couple but no one will expect a peep out of either of you because you're both so boring." She flashed him a sweet smile and batted her eyelashes.

"Good, because I'm not participating in any other stunts," he warned.

"I wouldn't know what to do if you did do something brash," Sabine had replied.

Cannes had been a success and Leo had actually enjoyed his fake dates with Sandringham. They went to dinner twice and attended a premiere and had discovered a shared love of horses. The following spring, Sandringham had visited one of Leo's stud farms in Austria with his partner, Carlos. They had purchased a mare and Leo often had drinks with them whenever he was in London.

Deep down, Leo had hoped that Jonathon might get jealous and have a change of heart once the pictures from Cannes began to make their way across the internet. He was ready to explain that it had all been for publicity and that Leo had a much better plan for him and Jonathon. They hadn't just talked about horses, Leo had also peppered Sandringham with questions about how he and Carlos made their relationship work while keeping it under the media's radar.

The opportunity never arose, unfortunately, and shortly after his date with Sandringham, Sabine informed Leo that Jonathon had "officially" moved on. Leo had asked her to check Jonathon's social media accounts to see if he had mentioned seeing anything noteworthy at Cannes.

"I'm not seeing anything about Cannes," she said with a sour, pinched expression. "I wish I was seeing less."

"Why?" Leo had asked, reaching for the phone, but she danced back and shook her head.

"You don't want to see this, dearest," she said gently.

A wave of nausea hit Leo and he breathed through it, blinking as his eyes blurred and burned. "What is it?"

She cleared her throat as she scrolled, her eyes widening. "He's…not alone in some of these and he's clearly…engaging in…intimate activities," she managed and had to fan her face. It had turned bright red.

"No. I don't want to see that," he agreed and headed for his room. "Cancel my plans for tonight."

"Leo!" she wailed.

"I said cancel them. I will do as you wish tomorrow, but tonight I need to be alone. Go in my place if you like. Make up any reason you wish."

He had spent the whole night alone, watching the sunset and pondering all the things he could have done differently, regretting that he hadn't listened to his gut and fought to hang onto Jonathon. Leo spent the next four and a half months on autopilot until he received a warning from Sandringham that he was trading PR favors with an American actor from an action hero franchise.

Enter Petra Becker.

They "met" at Paris Fashion Week and Leo had made an honest attempt with the world famous, semi-retired supermodel. She was Austrian and an environmental and animal rights activist. The media had applauded because Petra was forty-two, but Leo thought that she was out of his league. Petra had the innate poise and elegance of Grace Kelly and there were times when Leo felt insecure, she was so witty and well-read.

She had wanted it to work as well. Beloved by her home country and the Foundation, Petra had aspirations to be the next archduchess. Her motives weren't purely strategic and altruistic like Leo's, though. Petra hoped to use her position to help several environmental causes, but she also wanted to be like Grace Kelly and revered as a princess. And she wanted to be a mother and serve as a working royal. After the tragedy of Ella, she seemed like the answer to Leo's romantic prayers.

There was just one catch: Leo didn't want her.

He had tried and certain parts of Leo were attracted to Petra when they kissed, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. She had invited him up to her hotel room when they traveled together to the Paris Climate Conference but Leo had choked.

"I have had a lovely night, but I should leave," he said as he attempted to peel her off of him and make an escape.

"Is there something I'm not doing right?" she had asked him, her fingers walking down his chest and stomach. Leo groaned as she cupped his hard-on, shaking his head.

"It isn't you, meine Perle," he said and grabbed her wrists.

"Is there someone else?"

Leo hesitated for a moment, then nodded. "There's someone I'm not ready to let go of."

"Oh." Petra smirked and scoffed. "I'm not a child, Leo. I understand that men like yourself are accustomed to keeping their…friends," she said with a disinterested flap of her hand. "And it's not as if I can't find friends of my own if I should find myself in need of company."

"No." Leo set her away from him and retreated. "My mother would be so disappointed and I've seen how a life of lies can eat away at you."

She cut her eyes at him. "Damn you, Leo von Hessen. I wasn't counting on you being a good and honorable man. Think of all we could have accomplished together."

He waved her off. "You don't need me, Petra, and you deserve someone who will treat you like a princess in all the ways that truly matter," he said, making her gag and point at the door.

"Get out before I fall in love with you."

In hindsight, Sabine didn't seem all that sad to see the last of Petra when he returned to his suite and told her that it was over.

"She was rather cold. I didn't want to say anything, but I thought you could do much better," she had said and shrugged.

Leo hissed sheepishly. "She reminded me of you at times, actually. It was a little strange and I felt guilty when I kissed her, like I was kissing my sister," he had confided.

"That's ridiculous, dearest!" Sabine protested, rushing to him and helping with his bow tie. "I certainly don't look at you like a brother," she added softly, raising a hopeful brow.

He frowned, taking a moment to pick his next words wisely. "I'm not sure what you're suggesting, but I would never jeopardize our friendship and all the work we've done."

She shushed him, smiling as she tugged his tie free and loosened his collar. "You couldn't. There's only one thing that matters to me: your happiness. If you believe I can help you achieve that best as just your friend and advisor, so be it. But if you should ever wish for more, or for just a little…more, I'm here for you, Leo. I have always been here for you."

" Just a friend and advisor," he stated without hesitating, giving her a hard look. Leo wagged a finger at her as he walked backwards to his room. "I hope you didn't give Jonathon any reason to believe we had an understanding."

The color drained from her face before her cheeks turned pink. "No! It never came up between us, I swear, dearest!"

"Good." He turned, dismissing her. "You don't want to know how I'd react, if it turned out that you were somehow behind all of this," he said loudly without looking back.

"I couldn't—" She started to follow but he held up a hand, signaling that he was done. "Leo… It's all been for you. There's nothing I wouldn't do to protect you and keep you happy," she had called after him.

"Goodnight, Sabine."

He shouldn't have ended it there. Leo should have asked Sabine what she had done to protect him. Instead, he had wasted years, blaming himself for the wrong reasons and feeling helpless while the love of his life fell into despair.

"My worst crime was not listening to my gut," he told his brothers, allowing memories of Cannes to fade and returning to the penthouse. "But I am listening now, and I know what my next move needs to be. I'm calling Max."