Chapter 12

Twelve

What have I done?

Leo must have repeated the question a thousand times since Jonathon fled the gala. But now, Leo was taking a more critical eye at past events and his actions as he changed out of his damp suit. He had given Markus the slip and had gone for another walk in the rain. The exercise and fresh air had cleared Leo's head and the space and time alone had allowed him to see the past more clearly.

While it would have been easier and more convenient to lay the blame entirely at Sabine's feet, Leo could only see how he had been complicit and gaslit himself. He shouldn't have trusted her, but where did the responsibility fall when she had acted on his behalf and had, in subtle ways he was just beginning to understand, acted with his consent and cooperation? From Jonathon's perspective it would have seemed like he had been cast aside and quickly abandoned, that Leo had used him and then mocked their love in the weeks and months after their separation.

Had the cruelty been intentional on Sabine's part? And had Leo unwittingly played along and hurt Jonathon worse? What had Leo done exactly, and how would he go about making amends once he finally had a chance to talk to Jonathon? Leo had made it clear that he wasn't leaving Manhattan and was prepared to camp in Central Park until Jonathon came out, if necessary.

And Leo didn't want to blow that one precious shot when it finally arrived. He was taking account and would crawl over hot coals while listing his many misdeeds if that would satisfy Jonathon. And Leo would have a real plan, not just empty words, when the time came.

When the time came was the question, and was entirely in Jonathon's hands. He had yet to make his presence known or acknowledge Leo's attempts to reach him since the gala. It also appeared that the contact information Sabine had supplied Leo with all those years ago was wrong. Muriel and the housekeeper, Tilly, confirmed that a few of the letters and numbers had been altered. There was no telling where all of Leo's letters and their calls had gone and it infuriated him, giving him one more crime to add to his ledger.

He should have ignored Sabine and followed his instincts and his heart when it told him that Jonathon should have gone with them to Vienna. Leaving Sch?nbühel without Jonathon had been his first mistake and was now one of Leo's greatest regrets.

"Excuse me, sir," Markus said, tapping on the opened bathroom door and interrupting Leo's private lecture. He turned from the mirror and raised a brow, signaling for Markus to get on with it. "You have a visitor," he said with just a hint of a smile.

Leo pushed past him and raced out of the bedroom and down the suite's private stairs. "Is it Jonathon?"

"No," Markus called after him.

"No, it's just Theo," Leo's brother announced from the penthouse's hallway. His hair and suit were rumpled and there were bags under his eyes, but Leo thought he was dreaming as Theo opened his arms wide. "I can turn around and go back to Austria but I heard you needed help."

"Get over here," Leo growled, rushing to him and pulling Theo into a tight embrace. He cradled the back of Theo's head, doing a quick check to make sure everything was in the right place and his brother felt well. They could always feel when the other was scared, sad, or angry.

"Who the hell is this Jonathon and who does he think he is, hurting my big brother?" Theo asked, leaning back and patting Leo on the cheek. "I'd like to have a word with him."

"It was me," Leo said, then sneered over Theo's shoulder at the window and the storm battering the city on the other side of the windows. He'd be out searching the bars and the clubs for Jonathon if it wasn't so wild out and if it wouldn't cause Markus to have a stroke. Leo felt useless and claustrophobic, waiting in his suite. "And Sabine. After years of scolding me about my phobia of the internet and technology, it's bitten me in the ass in the most dramatic fashion."

Theo groaned sympathetically, never one to gloat or say "I told you so." He pulled Leo into another hug and clapped him on the back. "We'll find a way to fix this. We always land on our feet," he said, making Leo chuckle. Theo never lost faith when times got dark and they always found a way. "Sabine was the one who called me. She said you've lost your mind and won't talk to her, that you're turning the city upside down and you refuse to eat or rest."

"I'm fine but you have no idea how much damage she's done," Leo ground out. "She knew how much he meant to me and how much Jonathon loved me, but she manipulated me and made a fool out of me to keep us apart."

Theo's jaw fell and he drew back. "Sabine Aigner? Your Sabine?" he verified, then winced and nodded. "If she thought you were at risk…" he said with a pained groan. "Verdammte Schei?e… I've always known that she had feelings for you, but I never imagined she'd?—"

"I put an end to that years ago," Leo interrupted with a hard shake of his head. "She knew it was never an option and she had ten years to tell me the truth."

"Alright…" Theo whistled as he nodded and Leo could tell that his brother was already looking for a solution. He couldn't rest if he knew that Leo or the other two were hurting and Heaven help any man who wronged one of Theo von Hessen's brothers. While Theo wasn't a particularly violent man by any means, he didn't mind a good brawl. He could hold a grudge, but charm was Theo's preferred weapon.

He had connections everywhere—in the most unlikely places and with the most unlikely people. But Theo was admittedly too handsome and pampered to do any actual work.

"What do we know about what Sabine has actually done? You can't do damage control until you know exactly how bad the damage is," Theo said, making Leo sigh as he put an arm around him.

"You look exhausted and you probably haven't had a decent meal since you left Austria. You could have just called if you were worried."

Theo gave him an offended look. "You know me better than that and you never answer the phone. I slept most of the flight," he said with a sly smirk. "And I ate very well," he added with a suggestive wiggle of his brows.

"Don't tell me," Leo said, pushing him away. Theo was openly pansexual like Leo, just even more so. Knowing Theo, he probably had sex twice during the trip. "I don't want to know if you're using my demise as an excuse to fuck your way across another continent."

"Not at all," Theo said and pursed his lips curiously. "Why would I need an excuse and that can wait until we've found this mysterious, missing Jonathon."

He was right in that he never needed an excuse, or had to make much of an effort. Theo had an uncanny effect on men and women so a queue had probably formed in the aisle next to his seat. And after the plane had landed, the entire crew and passengers had probably cheered and waved him off.

Everyone loved Theo.

Physically, too, if there was enough time and a scrap of privacy. But as far as Markus's and Sabine's sources could determine, Theo was always a gentleman and left nothing but giddy, satisfied conquests in his wake.

"I hope the State of New York and their National Guard are prepared," Leo teased him. He pulled Theo into another hug, sincerely grateful to have him there. They were like night and day, but there was no one Leo trusted more than Theo and he needed another loyal ally in the city after Sabine's betrayal. "I'm sure Markus is glad to have some backup. I've been extra difficult since the gala," he said and offered Markus an appreciative nod.

He was posted by the living room door, looking on as he received updates through his earpiece. "Not at all, you're always this difficult," he said, then ignored them as he questioned someone about flights out of New York.

"I'm not leaving until I've found him and cleared this up," Leo warned him, receiving a flat look from Markus.

"You've made that very clear, sir," he said dryly, taking out his phone and swiping at the screen. "But your assistant is in exile and half of your entourage needs to return to Austria to prepare for Ball Season. You're on the board of two major balls this year and your wardrobe and security detail need to be arranged because you have a full calendar of events to attend."

"Right…" Leo bit down on his lips, nodding. "I didn't realize. Is it almost November already?" he asked with an apologetic grimace. Sabine usually handled most of the finer details and just told him where to go and what to wear. "Don't mind me, then," he said and turned back to Theo. "As I was saying, Markus could probably use a hand."

"Where can we get a drink?" Theo asked him. "Let's get out of Markus's way and you can catch me up on everything that's happened," he suggested.

They huddled together in the living room and Theo was baffled as Leo recounted his month at Sch?nbühel with Jonathon and Muriel.

"I can't believe you never told me," he said, sounding truly offended. "How is this the first I'm ever hearing about Jonathon? You loved him , Leo. There's no way I would have let you give up or let Sabine get in the way."

"I'm sorry." Leo held up his bourbon defensively, then took a long sip. He groaned appreciatively at the heady caramel and vanilla fumes and the pronounced smokiness. "There is one upside to having your heart crushed in America: you get to nurse your wounds with excellent bourbon," he noted, earning an enthusiastic hum from Theo.

"I might visit Kentucky while I'm here," he mused and Leo frowned at him.

"If you wish, but please be careful."

That earned an eye-roll from Theo. "I'm always careful. Who's going to look after Teo and Eli von Bl?dsinn, and rescue you when you're in over your head?"

"When was I in over my head?" Leo challenged with an indignant sniff.

Theo chuckled and nodded. "It doesn't happen often, but when you blow it—usually by being an uptight robot—you blow it big."

"This is true," Leo conceded quietly, looking to see if Markus was hovering. "I worry so much about making everyone—Sabine and the Foundation, in particular—happy. But I still feel like I'm failing with Elio and the Foundation will never like me."

"Why do you worry so much?" Theo asked, and gave Leo's leg a swat. "You will kill yourself trying to be perfect, and it will never be worth it as far as the Foundation is concerned. It is a business and if it somehow went bankrupt tomorrow or we were deemed too much of a liability, we would be cast aside without any hesitation. It's happened before," he added pointedly.

"I know, but I didn't want anyone to think I was pathetic or obsessed, even though I definitely was."

"That doesn't sound like you," Theo argued and Leo's face twisted.

"I was a completely besotted asshole. I never saw Sabine coming and it took me ten years to realize she'd stabbed me in the back.

He was deeply ashamed when he took stock and saw how easy it had been for her to pluck at his insecurities and play on his worst fears. She went to work almost immediately, right after Leo had settled Jonathon's fears and they came up with their plan to move everyone to Vienna.

For a handful of hours, Leo had been ecstatic. He had imagined long walks around Vienna and London with Jonathon—the two of them arm-in-arm and heads together as they wandered the cities together. And Leo could see himself in a stylish townhouse in London, welcoming Jonathon home and pampering him after a day of studying and creating masterpieces.

A happy little life had begun to take shape in Leo's imagination and it had all seemed possible until he informed Sabine of his intentions. He had waited until they were alone the next morning to tell her about his additions to the ceremony's guest list.

She had been waiting as well and had her counterstrike ready:

"I beg your pardon," she had said weakly. "I'm sure I didn't hear you suggest that your…" she cleared her throat loudly. "What if it gets out that you've invited your…sex pet and his loud-mouthed aunt to your assumption?"

"It isn't like that," Leo had argued, even though it was pretty close. "You can find a reason to invite them. We can all pretend to be indifferent for a few hours."

"But there's already talk, dearest," Sabine said, her tone urgent.

"Who's talking?" he asked as he crossed his arms over his chest, daring her to speak her mind. "Is it anyone who matters or are you simply using them for cover?"

She pulled a face and made a bored sound. "You know I don't care and only want what's best for you. I'm merely concerned that once the details start trickling out of this castle it will get back to the Foundation." Sabine gave him a pointed look. "Is that how you mean to begin?"

"I fail to see the scandal here," Leo countered, his impatience rising. "His age is…"

"Concerning?" she suggested.

"A minor concern," he said firmly. "His family connections?—"

"Do you mean the bombastic, obtuse aunt, the philandering, embezzling father, or his alcoholic mother? Also a greedy philanderess."

"His family connections may be unfortunate," Leo continued with a warning glare. "But he is a brilliant young man and an incredibly talented artist. There might be…talk, there always is, but it will run its course and people will see what I see in him."

Sabine's lashes fluttered and her lips pursed and parted as she fumbled for a moment. She finally gave herself a shake and smiled. "Very well! I'll let the Foundation know and we can begin making arrangements." She turned, hurrying to her notepad. "Do you have any preference in venues?"

"Venues?" Leo frowned. "Venues for what?"

"Your wedding, dearest! It will be a bombshell, but I'm certain we can find a way to package this as a modern Austrian fairy tale," she said dramatically, the hand with the pen sweeping through the air.

"Slow down. He just turned twenty and he's still attending university."

She snorted as she scribbled. "I wish him luck with that."

"What are you talking about? Jonathon and I aren't ready to marry and make this official. He's not ready for that."

"He'll have to be," she said simply. "The media will be relentless when it gets out that a newly minted royal is willing to risk it all for a young American socialite." Sabine bit back a panicked whimper, her eyes watering. "It would be a bombshell if it was a twenty-year-old woman, but a pretty young man from a…dubious family? How are you going to protect him? How do you protect your legacy and all the work you've done to get us here?"

"No. We're just—" Leo floundered as he saw Jonathon's dreams and his future being swallowed up by the Foundation and the chaos that would engulf them once the world found out about their relationship. "We plan to…keep it quiet until he's finished school. It won't be as shocking, then, and I'll be more established."

That earned another panicked laugh from Sabine. "It's too late. Your face is going to be all over Austria soon and someone here will tell a friend about you and the American boy. They'll tell a friend and that friend will tell and so on. Soon, other people who work here will confirm that they also saw something. So it will become a matter of what did they see? Are you madly in love and about to write your own fairy tale, or were you taking advantage of your houseguest?" she asked, flashing him an expectant smile.

"It wasn't like that. You know I would never. I didn't. " Leo scrubbed his jaw, horrified at the trap he'd set for himself and Jonathon.

"Of course, dearest. I know, but the Foundation doesn't and the public barely knows you. There's no getting around how this will look." She shrugged and went back to her notepad. "I would recommend a small, private venue. If we hurry, we can get ahead of the gossip and your conference in Iceland can double as your honeymoon if we extend your time there by an extra week. It shouldn't be hard to clear a week in…" Sabine flipped to her calendar.

"Stop!" Leo swore as he paced away from her. "My God, this is exactly like Ella!"

Sabine made a sympathetic sound. "She wanted to go to art school too, didn't she? But she had to marry Maximilian and she knew the marriage was a sham. I'm sure we can keep Mr. Hawthorne happy and quiet. And he does seem to return your feelings," she added with another shrug. "I'm sure it will all work out once we're on the other side of this…debacle."

"Enough, Sabine. You've made your point. I need to think and I need to talk to Jonathon."

"Very well," she said, setting down her notepad. "I will await your instructions."

"Leave it for now," he said tightly as he left her.

Leo would have been better served if he had called Theo then and told him what had happened. He would have been better served if he had talked to Frau Fischer or Tabbart, the German Shepherd guide dog, instead of accepting Sabine's dire predictions and falling in line with her plans.

"Was it the path of least resistance, or was I too scared that she would be right?" he asked himself and Theo, setting the memory aside until he was alone and could pick it apart and analyze every statement. He gave his head a shake, returning to the suite's living room.

His brother made a dismissive sound as he got up to refill their drinks. "Will it magically erase the past if you figure out the answer?"

"No…" Leo conceded. "But I owe Jonathon the mother of all apologies and it won't mean anything if he doesn't believe I've taken stock of all the damage I've done. He's suffered silently for too long and I can't expect his forgiveness until I show him I understand."

"True, but remember that Jonathon fell in love with a man, not just a prince, and why you needed that break in the first place," Theo requested. "I remember what you were like before and after Sch?nbühel. You were under a tremendous amount of pressure and you threw yourself into your work after you were made Margrave."

"That was all I was, thanks to Sabine and the Foundation. What if I could have been so much happier if I had just held on to Jonathon?" Leo wondered out loud, but Theo immediately shut it down, shushing loudly as he waved his free hand wildly.

"Then, I probably would have been Margrave and I would have squandered the opportunity or made such a mess that I would be the last."

Leo snorted and shook his head. "You would have done a fine job. But I would have made your life hell, telling you what to do with the land and who to push around so it would be protected."

"We've always been a good team," Theo countered, making Leo smile.

"We have. I regret not asking you for advice when I was at Sch?nbühel."

Theo wagged a finger at Leo. "Ah ah! What good are regrets and hindsight? Let's look ahead, at what you can change and how you're going to win Jonathon back once we've found him."

"Always the optimist," Leo said, but he felt more hopeful as he outlined what he had already planned to say and what he was willing to offer to prove he was sorry.

It was all very hypothetical until Jonathon was found, obviously. But Leo felt more confident that he could win and that he was better equipped to fight for them and protect Jonathon. From the Foundation and the world that had made Leo's true love so miserable.

"I'm always the optimist," Theo agreed as he raised his glass. "That's why you need me. You're too down and you're beating yourself up, but that won't solve your problems. You need to have faith and to give yourself a little grace. Do that, and I believe Jonathon will have a far easier time forgiving you when the time comes."

"I think you might be right," Leo said as he held up his drink. "To faith, grace, and forgiveness, when the time comes."