7. Grant

CHAPTER 7

Grant

I am the dumbest mother fucking son of a bitch to ever exist. I don’t know what in the fuck I was thinking. I kissed her. I kissed Elsie. And those filthy things I said to her. Jesus Christ, how am I ever supposed to look at her again? When Via Shoemaker walked into the shop and said those things, it brought all of the fears I was trying to ignore back to the forefront.

I am the reason her big brother is dead, I’m the reason Via’s granddaughter, Beth, lost her boyfriend and fuck, David loved that woman with everything he had. I’m the cause of so much sadness and I had my tongue down Elsie’s throat? I’m so fucking stupid.

I look up from where Holly is sleeping under my makeshift workbench and to Dean, my new carpenter. Dean is supposed to be helping me with construction on the Christmas market. But since Elsie arrived here an hour ago, he’s found every excuse to assist her. It’s pissing me off. Especially because Elsie is giggling at his flirtatious bullshit. Giggling. She’s walking around with damp underwear because of me and she’s giggling at him?

You’re the one that called it a mistake, asshole. Knock it off.

“Dean!” I bark out, startling the blond man. “I ain’t paying you to get a date, now get over here.” Elsie glares at me before storming off as Dean walks over—a sheepish grin on his face.

“Sorry, Grant.” He laughs lightly. “Ellie is just—” He lets out a breath and I catch his eyes drifting over to where Elsie is hanging some decorations around Santa’s chair. “She’s great, she’s really pretty and funny.”

I know she’s really pretty and funny. I don’t need this fuck that’s known her three seconds to tell me what I’ve known forever. Pretty and funny are the least descriptive words you could use for her.

“She’s also unavailable,” I grunt while roughly shoving an impact at him. “Now go hang that temporary wall.”

“Wait, she’s unavailable? Like she’s not wanting to date or she’s with someone? Because from what I heard in the shop earlier ah—” I snatch Dean by his shirt collar and force him to face me while ignoring the scream in my leg.

“If you value your life, I would forget everything you heard in the coffee shop, are we understood?”

“Grant!” Elsie hisses while grabbing me by the ear and twisting while walking away.

“Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!” I yell while swatting her iron-lock grip off my ear. “What the fuck!” I whine while glaring at her.

“You don’t get to scare off interested men in my life anymore. I’m not a teenager,” she warns and I raise a brow. There’s no way she heard me. As if reading my mind, she rolls her eyes. “You were manhandling Dean. You and David did the same shit when we were younger. Stop being a jerk.”

“I’m not being a jerk,” I grit out. “I’m not paying him to get into your pants.” Okay, obviously I could’ve used better wording, but here we are.

“You don’t get to tell me that what happened in the coffee shop is a mistake and then turn around and snarl at any man who looks my way.”

“Oh?” I huff out a dry laugh. “You sure about that? Tell me, sweetheart, were you planning on going out with Dean tonight when those soaked panties belong to me?” She opens her mouth to say something but a squeak comes out as her cheeks flame red.

“I’m your mistake, Grant.” Her words are a punch to the gut. “If all you see when you look at me is regret—is a mistake…” My heart aches at the crack in her voice as she speaks. She shakes her head and looks away. “Well, if that’s all you see then you need to look elsewhere. I am no one’s regretful night, and I’m not a mistake.”

“Elsie, it’s not that fucking easy and you know it!” I hiss softly as to not draw attention.

“It is, though.” She furiously wipes away the tear sliding down her cheek. “I have feelings for you, Grant! And you are playing with me! Stop it because it fucking hurts!” She shoves me away, leaving me stunned at her words.

“ S top looking at me like that,” I grumble to Holly from my place on the couch. Holly has been staring at me and huffing since we got home and she realized Elsie wasn’t going to be here as well.

A mistake. God, I’m such a piece of shit. Who says that to someone? Let alone someone like Elsie. The last thing she is, is a mistake. I am the mistake. She is the one making a mistake with me. I have to hold her back from me. I have to put her back at arm’s length where she’s been for so long because of what happened at the coffee shop and my jealousy creeping out with Dean—it’s too much. She deserves a fuckwit like Dean. Some stupid moron with no baggage. Someone she doesn’t have to look at and see as the cause of her brother’s death.

“Do you ever see any of it?”

Her question from the other night when she wrecked is still playing over in my head. I didn’t see David get hit, I was spared that nightmare for whatever reason. What I did get though…

“DAVID! NO!”

“Fuck,” I grunt while trying to blink away my tears. Holly comes to me and rests her head on my lap and I break.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper into the empty house. “Brother, I—I am so sorry. I’m sorry for that night, I’m sorry for Beth, I’m sorry for Nona and Els. Fuck, I’m so sorry for Els.” I close my eyes and rest my head back as my hand absently rubs Holly’s head and thoughts I’d rather not have start flooding into my head.

SIX YEARS AGO

“ F uck you, man!” I laugh as I punch David’s arm while we walk down main street to our job site.

“Dude, come onnnnn,” he whines while giving me the grin that gets him his way with everyone but me . “I know you like my sister, just nut up and ask her out.”

“I say this again, fuck you,” I snort to try and hide the embarrassment flooding my face. Of course I like Els, but this is her brother, I’m not about to confess to this and get my ass beat.

“I’m just saying.” David shrugs nonchalantly. “You two would be good together. You’re like a good balance between each other.”

“You’re her brother, aren’t you supposed to not want anyone to date her,” I reply dryly.

“Noooo. I’m her brother, I’m supposed to only want the right one to date her. You’ll take care of her and she will take care of you. Why would I want anything but that for either of you?”