5. Grant

CHAPTER 5

Grant

S itting on the ice-cold, metal folding chair, I continue to attempt my scowl as Elsie makes good on her promise to hug every single dog at this event.

Every. Single. One.

The second I saw the sign for the adoption event, I knew three things were about to happen: First, Elsie was going to spend the rest of the day here. Second, I was going to have to figure out a way to get these people in the Christmas market or Elsie would lose her fucking shit and Third, she’s going to trying to get me to adopt a dog.

She has tried, multiple times. She’s walked by with at least ten different puppies and I don’t know, they’re cute and all, but not my thing. I like dogs, I would love to have one, but I’m not someone who can always give them the exercise they need. I’m not gentle on my body in my line of work. I’m constantly moving the wrong way, putting too much weight on my prosthetic and just trying to be an average thirty-one year old man. But by doing that, I end up with sores, blisters, severe pain and swelling. Having a puppy I would have to run after—it’s too much.

I watch as Elsie talks excitedly with the shelter coordinator. She’s in her element here. Working with animals, working for a good cause—this is the Els I love. She was so anxious dealing with the vendors, which I knew she would be. And part of that was probably my fault. I didn’t think about the truck, and I was so mad at her for walking away. I felt so helpless and it pissed me off. I don’t want her to see me as weak, I want her to feel safe with me and highlighting the fact that running after her in the snow she was trekking through with this prosthesis—I would’ve ended up fucking my leg up. But when she mentioned the truck—it broke my heart.

The truck belongs to the company David and I started about six months before he passed. It’s the company I still run today. After everything that happened—his death, the staggering bills I endured, and all the therapy I went through to learn to walk and use my prosthetic, I couldn’t afford another vehicle. I mean hell, I was giving Nona and Elsie everything I could and forgoing food if need be. It’s only been the last two years that I’ve paid everything off and am turning a decent profit so, the company truck was all I had and now—I guess I just didn’t think about what it represented to her. Now I want to go set it on fire so she never has to look at it again.

I hear a grunt and a sigh next to me and look to see the blueish-grey and white face of a grown pitbull resting its head on my prosthetic leg. I glance around, expecting to see Els standing next to it, showing it off like the others—but I don’t. Els is still talking to the shelter coordinator while holding some tiny ball of fur. The dog whimpers softly while scooting closer.

“Hey buddy.” I extend my hand and it shivers in excitement as I pat its head.

“Oh! Holly!” I look up to see the coordinator and Elsie walking over. “I’m sorry! She’s not supposed to be out of her pin,” the older woman says softly and I feel the dog tuck closer to me.

“It’s alright, she isn’t bothering me,” I say, petting her head again. The woman gives me a soft smile.

“She tends to make people nervous due to her size, so we keep her pinned. She’s really sweet but has a bit of a timid side. She was a fighting dog that we rescued about two years ago so she doesn’t like other animals. She also gets nervous with loud voices so she’s been returned several times.”

“Awww, that’s so sad,” Elsie says looking at the dog. “How old is she?”

“About four, and because we have to disclose everything with her history, she doesn’t get looked at much. We mainly take her to the events to give her some time out.”

“Time out?” I huff looking at the woman. “Like a prisoner getting a treat? And what a treat it is to be overlooked for the puppies because you have scars.” I look at the brown-eyed dog, her ears shivering as she looks at me. “You bring her out here, get her hopes up just to toss her back in the kennel?”

“Grant!” Elsie hisses but I wave my hand to stop her.

“She’s coming with me,” I state firmly before I can stop myself. Both the women stare blankly at me.

“W-What?” The coordinator looks from me to Elsie. “Is he serious? I thought you said he didn’t want a dog?”

“I didn’t,” I confirm. “But she wants me and I’m not allowing her to go back to the shelter. Give me the paperwork, I’ll fill out whatever and then I’m taking her home.”

“ N ot one fucking word,” I warn as Elsie gets out of her car with Holly. After I filled out the paperwork, I was given a sheet of things to get her, like food, treats and toys. So after Els promised she wouldn’t leave Holly alone, I drove to the pet shop and I might’ve went overboard, but fuck I don’t know, I feel like the girl deserves some nice shit after what she’s been through. So my house is now equipped with all the toys, beds, and treats a dog could want. And if there’s something I’m missing, I’ll get it. Holly isn’t going to ever fear going back to that shelter again.

Elsie’s cheshire cat grin widens as she walks with Holly on a leash to my front porch. Holly is timid and scared until she sees me. She lets out a whimper and Elsie lets her leash go as the dog runs to me, sitting at my feet.

“Hey girl,” I chuckle, petting her head. “Come on, let's see if this place is to your liking. And you —” I point my finger to the chuckling girl. “Not a word,” As we walk in, I hear a small gasp escape Elsie. Holly doesn’t leave my side as we enter the living room and I frown.

“I thought she’d be more excited about the toys,” I mutter while watching her. Holly looks up at me as she tucks herself closer to my leg, her body shivering lightly.

“She’s not used to being here, or having toys, there will be an adjustment period.” Elsie pats my shoulder as I walk over to the couch and sit down. Holly scampers over and sits next to me.

“Come on girl.” I pat the cushion a couple of times before Holly hops up and immediately starts wiggling before snuggling in next to me. I look up to see Elsie still standing in the middle of the room, staring at me with big green eyes.

“Go on,” I groan, “I know you’re dying to say it.” I give her a smirk as she shakes her head.

“I was wrong,” she admits and I cock my head to one side as she continues. “I thought you needed a little puppy, but I was wrong. You needed a companion, someone who understands you.” I let out a light chuckle.

“There are others out there who understand me. You understand me.” She scrunches her nose at my comment.

“I do,” she says softly. “Do you… want me as a companion, Grant?”

“A—Oh…” I cough as my cheeks go red. “Fuck, I didn’t mean it that way, sorry. No, Els, of course not. Sorry.” I give her a sheepish grin as her playful demeanor disappears and she looks— oh, fuck! She thinks I’m rejecting her. Fuck, say something, you fucking moron!

“U-Uh I mean, not that I wouldn't. I just know a girl like you has a lot of companions and would—wait! Fuck that came out wrong.” I smack my hand to my face and groan as Elsie giggles, it’s a fake giggle, though.

“Wow, the big bad Grumpy Grant is still as awkward as ever if you get him saying more than ten words.” I pin her with a flat stare.

“You’re so funny,” I reply dryly. She squints her face playfully before looking at the door.

“I should go, I have all those companions to entertain.”

“Oh my god, shut up!” I laugh while tossing one of the stuffed animals I got for Holly at her leg. “You don’t have to go,” I offer before mentally scolding myself at how awkward I sound.

Elsie clasps her hands to her chest. “Wow, that’s got to be the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“I hate you.”

She laughs and shakes her head. “No, I need to get out of here, there’s a snowstorm heading this way and the last thing I need is to get trapped here.”

“Yes, what a tragedy that would be.” I roll my eyes before standing to walk her outside. She walks to the porch before turning around and looking up at me.

“Thank you,” she says softly as she leans in and presses her soft lips against my cheek. “I couldn’t have gotten through those vendor meetings today without you.”

I have no fucking idea if I’m saying words. For all I know I’m resembling a fish gasping as it frantically tries to get back into water.

“Elsie,” I manage to get out. She turns around to look at me and I see it on her pretty face. She wants me to tell her to stay. I know it. I may be an awkward mess around her but I know that look. If I ask her to, she’ll come back inside. Do it, you fucking moron, this is your chance. “Text me when you get to your shop.” I hate how much of a coward I am. She deflates as I knew she would but gives me a nod before getting into that stupid ass loaner and backing out of the driveway. I release a painful sigh as I turn around and head back inside. Holly is in the same spot and I notice the nervous look on her face.

“Hey girl.” I smile as I walk over to her. “You want something to eat?” I see her look out my window that looks outside where Elsie’s car was.

“Yeah, you’ll find I’m not the smoothest when it comes to her.”

“ H ello?” I groan as I answer my ringing phone. After Elsie left, I fed Holly and then I guess she and I fell asleep on the couch. The living room is dark so I must’ve been out for a couple hours.

“Grant.” The panic in Nona’s voice is the bucket of ice water I need to wake up. “Please tell me Elsie is with you?” Dread fills my stomach.

“No,” I breathe as I stand up and head to the front door. “N-No, Nona, she left a while ago.” I open the door to the blanket of Hell that has dropped on my driveway since I fell asleep.

“Grant, she never got back and I can’t get her to answer the phone.” I hear the sob she’s trying to hold back.

“I’ll find her,” I say as I grab my boots. “I’ll find her, Nona, I’ll call you back.” Hanging up, I lace my boots and am about to shut the door when Holly walks over.

“I’ll find her,” I say, though at this point I think I’m just trying to reassure myself. I make my way through the snow, while trying my best to stay balanced. Getting in the truck I take a breath while starting the ignition.

“You better be okay.”

I make it half way down the hill when brake lights catch my attention. “Oh God.” I pull my truck over and get out of the cab while making my way to her stupid, tiny ass loaner that I’m going to shove up someone’s ass tomorrow. It looks like she lost control going down the hill and the car hit the ditch. I brush the snow off the window and see her laying over the steering wheel.

“Fuck,” I rasp while ripping the door open. “Elsie,” I cry out as my hand touches her face. She groans, and it’s the sweetest sound I’ve ever heard. She shifts and whines as she comes to and lifts her head.

“G-Grant?” My knee nearly gives out when I see her injuries. She’s got blood on her face and her glasses are missing.

“Hey, sweetheart,” I croak out, as my hand touches her face again. “Let’s get you out of here, alright?” She nods softly and I know she’s confused about what’s going on. I should take her to the emergency room. But I have no idea what the roads are like down there. I can call our town doctor when I get home, if he wants me to take her, I will then.

“Grant?” Her soft voice grabs my attention. “I can’t see, where are my glasses?” I pull my phone out and turn on the flashlight, looking around until I find her glasses on the floorboard, thankfully unbroken.

“Alright, baby,” I breathe, helping her out of the car. I steady myself while reaching to lift her but she stops me.

“I can walk,” she says softly, and I want to fight her, but I can’t. I’ve never carried someone before with my prosthetic and going through the snow while carrying her—shame fills me with the inadequate feeling coursing through me. I should be able to carry the woman I love to the truck after a fucking car accident. She deserves that.

Elsie stops as she stares at the truck. “Grant,” she whimpers and I grip her face in both my hands.

“Listen to me,” I state sternly while staring into her wide eyes. “Sweetheart, if I could carry you on my back and climb this hill to avoid putting you in that truck, you have to believe me, I would. And I promise you, first chance I get, I’m getting a new truck. But I need you to get in there so I can take you back to my place. Please.” Her bottom lip trembles but she nods while hesitantly climbing into the driver's seat and scooting to the middle of the bench seat. “That’s my girl, alright.” I climb in and shut the door in time for her to climb onto my lap. She straddles me and buries her face into my neck as sobs wrack through her.

“Elsie,” I choke out, rubbing her back.

“I was so scared. I couldn’t stop and I was so scared that—that you would come down the hill and see me dead, hanging half out of the car, partially frozen.”

“Okay, well that is a visual I could’ve done without,” I state slowly as she shifts, and I roll my eyes as I feel her center on my cock. Not happening. No, no! I will not get a boner while she’s sobbing from nearly dying.

“It’s a visual I could’ve done without, too.” She sniffles while pulling back. “I see it every day. I see David, I hear the brakes and the horn. I smell the tires. I see you.” Her eyes search mine, for what, I don’t know. “Do you ever see any of it?” Her question is so small sounding and I give her a small sigh.

“No, sweetheart, not much. I—I was fading in and out so much. I only remember flashes. David trying to move the bike, hearing you scream, and then you counting something.” She gives me the most broken smile and it shatters my fucking heart.

“The teeth on the zipper of your jacket. You couldn’t move and I was freaking out so you made me lay on you and count.”

“Elsie.” I give her a pained look and she shakes her head, closing her eyes. “Please,” I whisper. “You have to let me.”

“I can’t,” she chokes out. “I can’t let you apologize, Grant, I just can’t.” She leans in, kissing my cheek before hugging me again. Sighing, I throw the truck in drive and turn it around. There ain’t no way in hell I’m telling her to move over. I’ll drive just fine with her right where she is. As far as I’m concerned, my lap can be her permanent seat—I don’t care, just as long as she stays with me.

“ I should’ve stayed here when you asked,” Elsie hisses as I clean the small cut on her head while Holly rests her head in Elsie’s lap.

“I should’ve asked you again,” I mutter while blowing on her cut gently. Her wounds are superficial from what I can tell. After I called our local doctor, he told me to monitor her and to bring her in tomorrow morning for a check-up, but she’s coherent and responsive.

“You’re always looking for a reason to blame yourself,” she murmurs and I can’t stop the huff that leaves me as I clean up.

“Not looking, it just seems to happen.” Glancing down, my eyes linger over her. She’s dressed in my dark gray hoodie and nothing else. I’ll never wash that hoodie again I swear to fucking God. I want her smell to be embedded in that cotton permanently.

“Not polite to stare.” She gives me a weak, playful smile and I jerk back.

“Sorry, I was—” Was what, you perverted fuck? Was thinking about how you’re going to wrap that hoodie around your face while you jerk off to thoughts of her? Sure, Grant, go on and tell her that. “Looking for bruises.” Wow, you stupid fucking liar.

“Uh-huh.” She laughs lightly. “It’s okay, I stare at you, too.” She shrugs and I nearly trip over myself while heading to the kitchen.

“You—what?”

“What? You’re good looking and you have a nice butt. Am I not supposed to appreciate that?”

“Okay, you definitely need to go to the doctor tomorrow,” I mutter while trying to hide the smirk pulling at my lips. “You’ve obviously hit your head harder than I thought.”