13. Liam

Liam

Chapter thirteen

Iwoke up surrounded by muscles and heat, and I didn’t want to move an inch.

The memories of last night came rushing back to me—the date with Ollie, returning to his place to fuck on his couch, and spending the rest of the night settled on his lap while he showered me with affection and we played Final Fantasy X together. I’d never had a more perfect night, and it didn’t surprise me I’d experienced it with Oliver Brannon. The man was one of the warmest, most considerate people I’d ever met, and having his attention locked and loaded on me was a heady experience.

It made me forget my hesitations, made me throw all my self-preservation out the window.

Ollie’s heavy arm draped around me, and he clutched me tight like I somehow might roll away. The heat we were generating was definitely sweat inducing, but I didn’t want to budge. The prickles of his beard scraped against my shoulder as he began to move, and the shift of his hips brought his thick morning wood to rub against my ass. Fuuuuck. After the pounding I’d taken last night and how long I’d kept him in me, my ass was feeling it today, but that delicious cock of his was temptation incarnate.

“You awake?” Ollie pressed an idle kiss against the side of my neck. He did that constantly, to the point I was pretty sure I would just float away from how my heart lifted off.

“Yeah,” I said, idly grinding my ass back against his cock. Ollie’s low moan in my ear was my reward, the hottest sound on earth and one I never thought I’d get to hear. I still waited for the rain to descend, like a shit forecast on a sunny day, but so far, Ollie wasn’t freaking out. Instead, he showered me with more affection than I’d received from another guy in years—if ever.

And wasn’t that a sad realization? My stomach dropped, and I clutched Ollie’s arm wrapped around me a little harder. When this all came crashing down, I knew no one would ever compare to him. I’d sworn off relationships because deep inside, I knew Ollie had always been it for me.

As futile and foolish as it was, my heart had decided a long time ago, and no matter how I’d tried to steer it off course, I’d never been able to convince myself.

“You want breakfast?” he asked, nipping at my ear, then the soft spot between it and my neck. A shiver raced down my spine, and I ground against his length again. “Mmm, or how about I suck your cock? I don’t have any plans today, so I’m all yours.”

God, if only.

Ollie began to push up on the bed with a creak when a loud bang came from downstairs.

“Olliiiiie,” a booming, familiar voice called, and stomping ensued, the racket assuring it wasn’t just Cormac who’d arrived.

“Oh, fuck.” Ollie vaulted out of bed. He scrambled to find his clothes scattered on the floor. I tumbled from my comfortable spot, my pulse racing as I raced to find my clothes. Shit, I’d left them downstairs last night.

“I don’t have clothes,” I said, striding toward his dresser.

“Grab something from in there.” He yanked on a pair of sweats and a T-shirt. The staircase creaked from the heavy boots of his siblings hitting the treads, and panic rushed through me.

I snagged a shirt of Ollie’s from the top drawer and some basketball shorts that would be big as fuck on me, but whatever. I pulled them on and tugged the shirt over my head like I’d started a race. Which, in a way, I had. Ollie’s family stomped closer and closer.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Ollie said, scrubbing his palms across his face. “I’ll go meet them down there.”

When he looked up, the apologetic look on his face stopped me cold.

I knew exactly what that meant.

It was every straight guy apology because they sure as fuck weren’t going to come out of the closet.

Not for me.

I swallowed hard, bitterness corroding my insides.

“Come down after a minute or two,” he said, his brows drawn together in an expression I couldn’t decipher. Not while I was falling, falling, falling. Before I could say anything else, he’d slipped out the door and shut it behind him.

Ollie’s booming voice clashed with that from the other Brannons. Normally, those noises filled me with warmth and comfort, but not this time. I stood in Ollie’s bedroom, the door shut on me like a dirty fucking secret, and my eyes stung from believing for a single minute that this would end up any other way.

What had I expected? Ollie and Josie had just agreed to divorce a few weeks ago. Had I honestly thought he’d shift his whole life around because we had a wild time in the bedroom? Sure, his affection, his sweetness was misleading, but maybe I’d been reading into Ollie being Ollie.

I sucked in sharp breaths, trying to get my head cleared before I had to go out there and pretend I was fine. Like my heart wasn’t breaking over this rejection. Ollie wouldn’t claim me in front of his family, and hell, I hadn’t even given him any indication I wanted more. We’d fallen into this so seamlessly I’d been spellbound.

Except he’d never promised to come out for me or even that this was a real relationship and heading somewhere. I’d latched onto the fact that the boy of my dreams had taken me on a date, and my heart had jumped into the driver’s seat and zipped off.

This was why I didn’t do relationships—because I lost myself in the process. Hal had been a shithead who hadn’t deserved the effort, but even though Ollie was so different, we hadn’t had a conversation.

Except my ridiculous, hopeful heart had gone and leaped into the pyre anyway.

I scrubbed my face again, trying to ignore the way my skin crawled and how I needed to escape. There was no reason to stick around. Ollie had his family home, and I would require space for a while after this. Time to introduce some logic into the playing field and forget how this man’s kisses consumed me heart and soul.

I drew in a long, slow breath and walked to the door. Their voices traveled from downstairs, making it clear that Cor and Rory had swung over to bug Ollie. I was surprised Rory had gotten up this early, with his usual late-night schedule from tattooing, but I sure as hell wouldn’t stick around and find out why. Ollie’s house had always been a comfort for me, but after what had just gone down, all I wanted to do was run as far and fast as possible and not look back.

As I descended the steps, I trailed my fingers along the railing, my cheeks burning as a scummy feeling rose in my chest. I hated being a dirty secret in a place I’d always viewed as a sanctuary. I didn’t doubt Ollie would want to talk and apologize. And hell, maybe we could resolve this in time, but right now, my gut was telling me to get the fuck out of Dodge and preserve what little pieces of my heart I could cobble together.

As if I hadn’t already handed it over to Oliver Brannon years ago.

My skin prickled as I neared the bottom of the steps. The way out the front door was in clear view of the living room, and I’d left my keys and phone in there. Looked like I couldn’t just stride out the door and pretend I’d never been here.

I stepped in, and everyone’s gazes switched to me. “Hey, guys,” I said, not making eye contact, which was sketchy as shit. However, I could barely push through this room with all the memories of last night roaring to the surface, let alone fake a conversation with Ollie and his brothers. “Just gotta grab my keys and wallet.”

I snagged them from the coffee table, toed on my sneakers, and hurried to the front door before Ollie or any of his siblings could try and start up a conversation with me. A few comments sounded right as I opened the door, but I’d blurred them out. They could blame my exit on me not hearing what they’d been trying to say.

My throat squeezed tight, and the steep descent from the cozy wake-up this morning rocked me down to my toes. I’d barely made it a few paces before my entire body was quaking from this drop. Those hopes had been ones I’d clutched to my heart for so long that the moment I’d gotten the opportunity, I’d leaped.

Without a discussion, without a question, without a fucking safety net.

But that wasn’t fair to either of us. I reached my car, my legs a little shaky as I focused on each breath, each step forward, taking me away from Ollie’s.

Ollie was my best friend. He’d always be my best friend. Just because I’d gotten my wires crossed didn’t mean we couldn’t have the deep friendship we’d always had.

I just needed a little time to clean up the fragments of this broken heart.