Chapter 16

She felt like she was walking on air when she and Edward finally said goodnight, sometime later, and she wandered the halls of the Keep a little longer than was strictly necessary to get to her room. Her chest felt like it was full of bright light, and she couldnt keep the silly little smile from her lips… part of her was desperate to find someone, anyone, to tell about what had happened, while the rest of her wanted to keep it forever as a delicious secret meant just for the two of them.

Was this ill-advised, falling into this kind of relationship with Edward? She knew shed start worrying about it eventually — there were certainly enough unknowns to keep her up all night — but right now, with the giddiness of their first kiss still rushing through her, she simply couldnt bring herself to mind. Shed felt the attraction between them for quite a while now, maybe even since theyd first met. Hadnt it been one of the first things shed thought about him, that evening on the shore of the Loch? Even lit by not much more than moonlight, shed noticed how handsome he was… and even soaked in lake water, she realized with a giddy little thrill, hed felt the same about her.

It was a welcome distraction; that was for certain. Without her growing friendship with Edward, she knew shed be struggling a lot more to grow accustomed to her new life here… shed still have her new friends among the other time-lost women, of course, but there was something about Edward that made her feel … strange. Almost as though she was supposed to be here. He gave her hope, she supposed. Hope that she might be able to share what she knew about autism even with these people here, in the sixteenth century… but it was more than just her work that he made her think about. He made her think that she might just be able to make a life here in the long term. Looking further into the future than a few days still threatened to overwhelm her most days… but when she thought about Edward that feeling of panic eased.

She lay awake in her bed for a long time, gazing at the ceiling and grinning like a fool in the darkness. She was fiercely grateful that she didnt have a phone to tempt her into sending him a message, or worse, calling him… how many stupid dating mistakes had she made because of the easy availability of technology? Maybe that was why shed never managed to stay in a relationship for more than a few months at a time. Maybe it had taken coming all the way to medieval Scotland for her to get her head out of her work for long enough to notice something else… those whirling thoughts gave way seamlessly to pleasant dreams of running through the Keep with Edward, playing hide and seek in the otherwise empty rooms, hiding under tables and behind tapestries, only to have him pull them effortlessly away and draw her into his arms again… and when she woke, it was with a smile on her lips and a warm glow in her chest.

Oh, yeah. This crush was going to get worse before it got better, she could tell.

But there were other things to think about, she reminded herself firmly as she rose and dressed. Before the two of them had gotten distracted making out, theyd come up with a way for her to spend some time with Colin Gilroy — and as much as she still had her hesitations about assessing a child without the express approval of his parents, she wasnt going to miss this chance at a first-hand interaction with the baby. So after picking up a quick breakfast from the dining hall downstairs, she set about searching for the nursemaid.

Her plan had been to ask one of her friends where the child might be… but in the end, she didnt need to go very far to find him. A high wailing caught her attention as she left the dining hall, coming through the half-open castle doors… and sure enough, when she stepped out into the crisp spring morning, she found a tired-looking woman walking rhythmically back and forth with a screaming baby held in her arms. Barely even thinking, Ivy hastened over, some ancient feminine instinct awakening in her — and the nursemaid flashed her a tired, grateful smile as she put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

Poor thing, Ivy said with a shake of her head. Its hard, being a baby.

So hes been telling me for an hour solid, the nursemaid said, shaking her head. I cant understand it. Ive nursed fussy children before, but this one … its no wonder theyre saying what theyre saying about him.

Ivy looked down at the red-faced baby sympathetically. He was wailing fit to burst, his fists clenched and his tiny face screwed up tightly. Awful racket or not, though, she couldnt see anything immediately supernatural about him. He was wriggling furiously in the blankets he was wrapped in, and Ivy reached out automatically to take him from the nursemaid without even asking. She seemed more than happy to hand the child over.

There, now, Ivy murmured, feeling the boy squirming against her. Not so fond of being held, hm? What if… The castle steps werent far away, and with a quick glance to the nursemaid, she climbed them, laying the screaming baby down beside her at the top of the stairs with the blanket spread out to cushion him from the cold. Out of Ivys arms, the screaming lost some of its feverish intensity. The babys scrunched-up face loosened a little, and he blinked a pair of breathtakingly blue eyes. Ivy smiled down at him… but his gaze slid away from her face and up into the sky above him.

She had to work quickly; she knew that. The nursemaid was keeping a close eye on them — she was relieved by the opportunity to take a break, but Ivy knew shed likely object if she spotted anything strange going on. Usually, for this kind of assessment shed need an hour or so with the child at least… but she was just going to have to make do. As the babys crying jag slowly quieted, she reached up and unclasped the necklace she was wearing, a welcome gift from her new friends. It was a simple piece of jewelry — a few shells that Nancy said shed found in the Loch with perfect holes through their centers, suspended on a fine thread. The shells jangled pleasantly, and she suspended them above Colin now, watching him closely. His gaze slid over the shells, over her face… then away again. She jangled them experimentally — no response from the boy.

Deafness could sometimes be incorrectly diagnosed as autism, Ivy knew. She set the shells down for a moment and called Colins name gently… and when that didnt get a response, she clapped her hands, making sure to do so where he couldnt see her. The boy flinched at the sound… but just as shed expected, he didnt turn his head to look for the source of it.

Theres no point trying to play with that one, the nursemaid said as she came over to join them, her tired face resigned. Ive tried all my best games, and no response. He doesnt even like this one. Colin! Look! The woman covered her face with both hands… then drew them away quickly, revealing a comically exaggerated expression of surprise. Then she sighed. See? He just looks away… makes you wonder what hes looking at. At least hes stopped screaming.

He has, hasnt he? Ivy murmured, reaching down to tickle the boys little foot. Again, his reaction was limited. I think he might not like to be held.

The nursemaid looked affronted. What kind of a child doesnt like to be held?

An autistic one,Ivy thought — but she bit her tongue hard on saying it. This nursemaid wasnt responsible for misunderstanding the child. She, at least, had been trying to get on with him… it was just that her no-doubt extensive library of games and activities to entertain babies were best suited for neurotypical children. Some people are eccentric, Ivy said with a shrug of her shoulders, resorting to an expression she often used with parents who were resistant to the news of their childs neurodiversity. The same must be true of babies, sometimes.

Thats true enough, the nursemaid said with a shake of her head and a fond smile. Ive raised more than a few strange little beings in my time.

Ivy hesitated… but she felt a kind of solidarity with this nursemaid. Do you believe what the Gilroys suspect about him? That hes a Changeling?

The young woman bit her lip, looking down at the now-quiet baby as he lay on the step with his enormous blue eyes gazing up at the sky. Ive seen a few dozen babes through their first years of life, she said softly. Every single one was as different from the next as could be, thats the simple truth of it. Colins different, too, thats what it seems like to me, no matter what his grandmother might think. The women seemed to stiffen suddenly, a cautious look coming into her eye. Then again, wiser men than I have been taken in by Fae tricks, havent they? I really ought to be getting him back inside, she said quickly, reaching down to gather up the boy. Ivy couldnt help but notice that the child barely reacted to being scooped up — no reaching out to the nursemaid, no cuddling into her arms. But she saw him begin to grow irratated as the woman tucked him closely against her chest again.

I hope he settles down again soon, Ivy said softly.

So do I, the nursemaid said with a shake of her head. Thanks for the moments respite, my lady. Most kind of you.

And with that, the nursemaid was gone, hustling inside with Colin already beginning to cry in her arms again. Ivy watched her go, certainty crystallizing in her. The baby shed just met was a regular, healthy child of a few months old… exhibiting textbook signs of autism.

Now all that remained was to convince everyone around her that that was the case, too… before they came to more dangerous conclusions.