Chapter Twenty: Varn

Varn opened his eyes with a sense of unease.

Something was wrong. It was as if there was a void in his chest. One he couldn't quite describe, let alone explain.

It was as if he had woken up with a piece of him missing.

I'm still here , his dragon assured him.

But Varn was not reassured.

As he turned onto his side, there was no mistaking the dent in the pillow beside him, and the lingering scent of a woman.

His sense of unease deepened.

Someone had been here with him recently. But he had no recollection of being with anyone.

And, as he pushed out his shifter senses, it was obvious that whoever it was had gone.

Do you remember? Varn asked his dragon.

No, his dragon said. But then I don't remember much about last night at all.

Varn's brow wrinkled as he fought to remember anything from yesterday. It was like there was a sizable chunk of time missing. The strange thing was, his head was clear. There was no grogginess, no hangover to suggest that he had forgotten a drunken night.

He stretched out his hand and smoothed it over the indent in the pillow. Whoever had been here must have been special.

Varn had not had an intimate relationship for a long while. The sense of his mate was always on his mind and being with someone who was not her felt like…cheating.

So why had a woman been in his bed last night?

As he sat up on the bed, his gaze rested on the empty bottle of wine next to two wine glasses on the nightstand. There was also a box of half-eaten chocolates.

So not only had a woman been in his bed, but they'd also shared a bottle of wine and chocolates.

And a gift box.

He reached for the box and opened it.

Empty.

He slipped his legs out of the bed and stood up. If he was with a woman last night, then surely someone would have seen them together.

Varn glanced around the room, noting his discarded clothing scattered across the floor.

He gathered them up in his arms, more convinced than ever that he'd been with someone last night. His mission now was to find out who.

Had he been the victim of some sort of spell or seduction?

He padded across the bedroom floor, heading for the shower. As he turned on the faucet, one memory from yesterday did come back to him.

Leah. She'd invited him over for dinner with her and Ash.

He couldn't go empty-handed.

Maybe that's who the wine and chocolates had been for, before….

Varn closed his eyes and strained to remember whether he'd bought the wine and chocolates as a thank you for the invite. But that did not answer who he'd shared them with.

He curled his hand into a fist, rested his head against the tiles and let out a low growl. Why couldn't he remember?

Varn quickly showered and dressed, his mind still consumed with trying to remember what had happened last night.

Relax, his dragon told him. There's no point trying to force it. We need to go about this logically.

Varn reluctantly agreed as he headed to the kitchen. Maybe a strong cup of coffee would help clear his head.

It didn't. After two cups of coffee and a plate of eggs and bacon, his memories still evaded him.

They were there. He was sure they were there. Somewhere.

Magic, his dragon ground out. It has to be.

Varn agreed. This definitely had the feel of magic.

Had a witch cast a spell on him?

Had the woman who shared his bed last night cast a spell on him?

But why? his dragon asked.

That is what I intend to find out, Varn said as he headed out of the apartment.

Varn reached the street and pushed his shifter senses outward as a sudden idea struck him.

What if the woman he'd spent the night with was his mate?

But disappointment swiftly followed.

As it always did.

He would definitely remember that. Besides, he could not sense her. She could not have traveled far enough to have escaped his senses in such a short amount of time.

But he lived with the hope that he might one day find her. If he gave up on that hope, he might as well give up on life.

Tugging his collar up to combat the chill of the winter morning, he strode along the street past stores decorated for Christmas. Once he'd found a thank-you gift for Leah, he would head for The Lonely Tavern, since that was the last clear memory he had.

"Varn!" Stan's voice rang out from across the street.

Varn stopped in his tracks and spun around. What were the Regulars doing headed toward his apartment?

They might just know something about what happened last night , Varn said.

They do seem to know everything that goes on in this town , his dragon agreed as the three men hurried toward them. And they just always seem to be in the right place at the right time.

"Hey!" Harry said as he reached them. "What happened to you last night?"

Varn's brows furrowed. "What do you mean? Do you know something about last night?"

"How could we know when you didn't meet us at The Lonely Tavern like we agreed?" Burt asked.

"We did?" Varn asked.

"Oh." Harry sucked in a breath. "You forgot again."

"We should have expected this, really," Burt said.

Stan tutted. "And that's why we told everyone to meet in the tavern before midnight."

"Again?" Varn echoed, his unease growing stronger by the second. "What do you mean, again ?"

The Regulars exchanged a look, their expressions a mix of concern and sympathy.

"This isn't the first time you've forgotten…" Stan began.

Varn stared at him, needing him to continue. "Forgotten? Forgotten what?"

"Carys," Burt replied.

"Carys." Varn tugged his eyebrows together. There was something familiar about the name, or maybe about the feeling hearing the name evoked in him.

"Yes, Carys," Harry said.

They are skirting around what happened, Varn's dragon said.

But why? Varn asked, needing to know everything.

"Your mate," Stan finally blurted out, seeing the stormy expression on Varn's face.

"My mate?" Varn shook his head. "You can't be serious."

We found our mate , his dragon said. And then we forgot her! This can't be happening.

Neither of them could believe that they could ever forget meeting their mate. They had searched for her for so long, to have forgotten her didn't make any sense.

But there was no denying they had no memory of her. Either the Regulars were somehow mistaken, or Varn had spent the night with his mate, and had no memory whatsoever of it.

"You met Carys a couple of days ago," Harry explained. "But then you forgot her."

"So yesterday we went with you to retrace the steps of your first date," Stan explained.

"But then it seems you've forgotten her again."

"We've already been on a date?" Varn said.

"Technically two," Stan corrected.

Our first date , his dragon said. He could not hide his excitement that they had been on a date.

Even if they could not recall a second of it.

"We went through everything you two had told Flint about your first day, and the local sleuths—that's us—went over everything, but we couldn't find an explanation," Stan explained.

"Whatever the cause, it must be from one of your pasts." Burt watched him.

"So, we thought that if you stayed up all night, under our watchful eyes, that it might not happen again," Harry said.

"But you and Carys wanted some time alone," Stan added.

"We agreed to meet up at The Lonely Tavern before midnight," Stan said. "But you never showed."

"And now I have forgotten my mate again," Varn said as he watched a snowflake drift lazily down and settle on the ground.

"Pretty much," Harry agreed, although he did not sound judgmental.

Even so, Varn cursed himself under his breath. If they had met the Regulars at The Lonely Tavern, he might have those precious memories of his mate.

It is what it is, his dragon told him.

You're right, Varn agreed. We cannot change the past, but we can control our future.

"Where can I find her?" Varn asked, once more pushing out his senses to their furthest. "She's outside of my senses."

"Oh no," Stan replied. "You can't sense her."

"What do you mean?" Varn growled, confused. His shifter senses had never failed him yet. If someone was keeping her from him…

"There's…" Harry waved his hand around his head. "Like an invisibility cloak around her where shifter senses are concerned. It's just another part of the mystery."

"So, I'm not the only one who can't sense her?" Varn asked with some relief.

"Oh, no, no," Harry assured him. "Carys said that it happens with other shifters."

"Right." Varn raked his hand through his hair and puffed out his cheeks. Was this part of the reason he'd forgotten Carys?

"Why don't we go and find her?" Harry put a comforting hand on Varn's shoulder. "I'm sure she's probably going through something quite similar right about now."

"Lead the way." Varn swallowed hard as his throat constricted. He couldn't believe the time had finally come to find his mate after all this time.

This might not be the first time he'd met his mate, but he could not remember the other times.

For us, it will be like the first time all over again , his dragon said.

But let's hope this is the last first time , Varn replied. I want to break this spell or curse, or whatever it is before our memories of her are taken away once again.

And I want to break the bones of whatever or whoever is responsible, his dragon roared.

"This way." Harry guided Varn across the street with the other Regulars on either side.

I can't believe we are actually going to meet our mate, Varn's dragon said giddily. I wonder what she's like, what she looks like, how she sounds.

I can't believe we have already met her , Varn said, as the snow continued to fall more heavily, as if the world around them was building to something as they approached Carys. At least he hoped they were approaching her; it was strange looking for someone so special without being able to sense them at all.

As the lights decorating the stores twinkled brightly, it was as if all his Christmases had come at once, and Varn was about to receive the only thing he had been wishing for years.

They headed through town. As they walked, Varn kept his senses pushed out, eager for the first glimmer of her. The first connection.

What would she be like, this mysterious mate he couldn't remember? Would the connection be instant, like lightning striking through his veins? Or would it be more subtle, a slow burn that grew with each passing moment?

The Regulars led him down a tree-lined street, and he could tell by their body language they were drawing close to their destination, but he still could not sense her.

Why? The question reverberated around and around in his head.

Was this connected to his past? To the time back on Cairnnor when he'd first sensed her?

And where we first lost her, his dragon added.

But before he could contemplate that question further, he stopped dead in his tracks and stared ahead at a nearby cottage at the end of the street.

He could sense people inside. Not his mate, but there was something about the cottage. He'd been here before, for a tea party with Flint, but there was more than that. It seemed a special place.

She must be inside . His dragon urged him on.

He broke into a jog, heading for the cottage while he searched for her. Just as he'd searched for her for years.

Behind him, the Regulars followed, keeping pace, although there was some puffing and panting, but they did not complain.

"This house?" he asked over his shoulder as he stopped outside a cottage decorated for Christmas, but the decorations had a more witchy feel, and gnomes in the garden watched them as they approached. "She's here?"

With a wreath of herbs and dried flowers on the door, and strings of lights in the shape of stars and moons dangling from the eaves, the cottage had an undeniable, enchanted quality. Varn's breath caught in his throat as the Regulars all nodded in confirmation.

"This is where Carys's Aunt Elsbeth lives," Stan said between breaths. "Carys is staying with her for the holidays."

"She doesn't live in Wishing Moon Bay?" Varn asked. He'd been consumed with the thought that she had been here all along, a stone's throw from Cairnnor.

"No, she's a diplomatic envoy," Harry informed him. "She travels a lot."

"A diplomatic envoy," he repeated.

That might explain why she was on Cairnnor all those years ago, his dragon said.

And it might explain who had cast this spell. A spell that was meant to keep them apart.

Not anymore, his dragon told him.

Now that we have found her, we will not let her go again. Not ever.

Varn took a faltering step forward. Was it true? Was his mate really in this cottage? Could this be how they finally met after what seemed like an eternity?

He'd always imagined sensing his mate, of feeling that connection they shared, drawing him to her.

He'd heard other shifters describe it. An unbreakable bond.

If only he could feel it now.

He mounted the porch steps and raised his hand to knock on the door.

But before he had a chance, there was a commotion behind him, and he spun around, ready to fight anyone who planned to keep him from his mate.

"Varn!" An elderly woman strode up to him. "You're here. Good, good."

"Do I know you?" Varn asked, although he had a slight recollection of her.

"You don't recall me either." The woman leaned in, staring at him as if he were a specimen in a jar. "Interesting."

Then the front door opened, and the air seemed to escape Varn's lungs. As he turned around, he saw her. His mate.

And it was as magical as he'd always dreamed of.