Chapter 26

"You sure you don't want to come in with me?" Jep smirked at Em as he tightened his vest. She rested her hand on the hard plate at his chest to confirm for herself that it would protect him.

"You know what would be funny?" she said, cocking her head to the side.

"What's that?"

"If I said I was coming."

"But you won't."

"Yeah, but if I did, what would you say?"

"I haven't had a great track record bringing you on missions. You've almost died every single time."

"That's being a bit melodramatic, don't you think?"

"Not when it's the truth."

"You wouldn't have let that homeless man kill me."

He leaned toward her. "That is very true. But you'll have a scar to prove my incompetence for the rest of your life."

"Stop being so hard on yourself. Scars are cool, didn't you know? And it will remind me that someone believed in me enough to test my skills."

"That's generous."

"Would you rather I remember you as being careless?"

His eyes dipped to her smile, and he opened his mouth to speak, but Agent Cramer beat him to it.

"Jep. We're ready," he said.

"Thanks." Jep nodded, then looked back at Em. "I guess I'll see you on the other side."

"You'd better. Promise me you'll be careful."

"I always am."

"That's not true."

"You can pretend it is if it makes you feel better."

She grunted when he jogged off before she could come up with a comeback.

"I know Jep and I haven't always gotten along," Lawson said as he approached her, his hands tucked deep in his pockets. "But he's a great agent."

"He is."

"We operate differently, so we'll never see eye to eye, but after what happened with Pearce, I can see that bringing Jep onto the team was the best move we could have made."

"I'm glad to hear you say that." She rubbed her hands together against the chill in the night. "How long do you think this op will take?"

"Depends on what they find. They'll have to move slower than usual to ensure we don't have another event like the last one."

"But you trust Gardener's intel?"

"I think Gardener will do whatever is in her own best interest, and right now, that means bringing these guys down. If they're out of commission, she has a better chance of not being killed by them."

"I hope you're right."

"It's natural to be worried, but are you sure you want to be out here for this?"

"I'd go crazy otherwise."

An owl hooted nearby.

"I have to say, Miss Chapman." He was staring at the line of trees that concealed them. "You're not what I expected."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"You should. We could use more like you on the team."

"You sure you could handle more than one of me?"

He laughed. "It's good to have some who think differently from the rest."

"If you really mean that, I would be happy to add a summary of my thoughts to the reports."

"Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of you becoming a trained field agent."

"Have you already forgotten the messes I've been getting into since going into the field?"

"None of which were on account of you and all of which you handled remarkably well."

"I owe a lot to Jep. I'm not sure if I'm cut out for fieldwork without him by my side."

"You've already been through more action than most people see their entire lives. And I'll admit, I thought Jep was up to something when he chose you for a partner. Little did I know he saw what the rest of us missed. At least think about being retrained. Don't say no yet."

"I can think about it."

"Good."

Lawson's walkie talkie squawked, alerting him that the team was in position and ready to breach.

"We'd better get inside," Lawson said.

She followed him into the tactical van.

"Kay. Sylvestro." She nodded a hello to the two technicians she'd only met today. It was tight with all the equipment. Even tucked against the side wall, her knees kept bumping Agent Kay's chair.

"Sorry," she said, adjusting herself after bruising her knee.

"It's all part of experience," Kay said with a chuckle. "This your first time?"

"Believe it or not," Lawson said. "She's usually on the other end of these things."

"I heard." Sylvestro said. "You're quite the legend, Miss Chapman."

"That must be for my thorough analytical skills," Em said.

"On the field, yeah. I hear you have a real eye for detail. I prefer to do my observation on this side of the monitors." He tapped a screen.

"And I would never let you out there," Lawson said to Sylvestro as he handed Em a pair of headphones. "You can hear what's happening, but you won't be able to communicate. If you need to step outside for a breath, you can. Things could get intense, and I know how hard it is sitting on the sidelines."

She blew a breath of air up her forehead. "I hope I don't have to take you up on that."

Kay adjusted a few knobs while Sylvestro was busy on a laptop. Em slipped on the headphones to the sound of crackling, but no one was speaking.

Then a voice came through. "We're in position, sir."

"You are clear to breach," Lawson said.

Em scanned the monitors, unsure which one was Jep's. She didn't want to ask, afraid to interrupt anyone's concentration.

Lawson looked back to her. "Screen three is Agent Booth," he said as though reading her mind.

She tilted her body sideways so she could lean closer and squinted at the screen, looking at what Jep was looking at. She narrowed her eyes to increase her focus, like she could spot a threat and save him from it. Her thumb kneaded into her palm as he moved with the group deeper into the building.

Her lips moved as she prayed for them, asking for God's wisdom and discernment and any other words she could think of.

Then the camera lit up as shots were fired. Everyone in the van tensed.

Em could hear snippets of Jep and others shouting, but there was too much going on to make out most of it.

Her fist pressed against her mouth as she fought for calm, trying not to make a sound.

When Jep's screen cut out, she jumped to her feet. "What happened? What does that mean?"

"Hang on," Lawson said. "We can't do anything right now but watch and wait. It could be anything."

"Man down!" someone yelled.

"No." The word slipped from her lips.

"Emery," Lawson said in warning.

She examined all the screens, trying to discern anything about what had happened, but it was getting too hard to breathe. She tossed the headphones aside and launched out of the van, stumbling to a bush before she dry-heaved several times. She stood hunched over with her hands anchored to her knees as she spit out thick saliva, regaining her breath.

After everything they'd been through, this couldn't be the end for him.

She couldn't think of any words to pray, so she let the pain in her heart go up to heaven. When she heard more rapid gunfire, she squeezed her eyes close. "Please, please, please." She tried to rein in her thoughts, but it was harder than when she was stuck in the janitor's closet. Images of Jep's dead body lying on the floor pressed incessantly for her attention.

Finally, the firing stopped, and she looked out into the darkness, holding her breath.

"Emery." Lawson's head was poking out the back of the van. "Get back in here."

"Sir," she said, "I'm sorry. You were right. I shouldn't have been here. I can't?—"

"Jep's fine. The building is secure."

"He's okay?"

"He did get shot, but his vest stopped the bullet."

She would have sprawled on the ground in relief if she wasn't desperate to see for herself. As it was, she struggled to keep from cheering.

When she climbed back inside, she fumbled with the headphones, her hands shaking with a rush of adrenaline laced with fear and relief.

Jep's monitor was still out, but she could see in the others that suspects were being rounded up and cuffed.

When Jep appeared in someone's camera as it panned, a lump lodged in her throat. He walked up to the camera and held up a notebook with a map drawn on it.

"I think we've got something," said one of the agents. "It looks like we may have the location of several bombs."

Lawson stood, nearly bumping his head on the roof. "Armed?"

"That's unclear at this point."

"Do we know when?"

"No, sir."

"All right, people," Lawson said. "We need to move on this now. Cramer, you get that data uploaded. I'll get the bomb squad prepped and ready. See if you can get any more information from the suspects."

Em had to plaster herself against the wall of the van to let Lawson climb out. She continued to watch the screen until it looked like some of the team was returning. Then she climbed out.

A few of them passed the van, and she knew, as much as she wanted to pull Jep aside when he showed his face, he had work to do. Seeing him alive with her own eyes would be enough for now.

She rested her hand against her stomach and took a deep breath. It was a good ending. Everything tonight had turned out well, but when she thought of how all of their lives almost ended on so many occasions, she couldn't help the bile that rose into her throat. It would take time to recover from the whole experience.

More of the team appeared, carrying boxes and loading them into the back of an SUV. It would be brought back to base, analyzed, and catalogued. She'd be a part of pulling the pieces apart and putting them back together. Organizing the information into a readable report. And there would be no Gardener there to delete any part of it.

"I hope this op hasn't pushed you farther away from the idea of being a field agent," Lawson said on his way past.

"I was standing here thinking about how traumatized I am after everything I've been through."

"We train you how to manage that."

"I know. But I did lose my supervisor, so there's a position vacant."

"You want to supervise? Really? Even with the danger, I thought you liked being hands-on."

"Do you remember when I came to you back before that first explosion that killed some of our guys?"

Lawson dropped his head. "I do. But even then, what could we have done?"

"Nothing. Unless I had listened to my gut in the first place. And if Gardener hadn't sabotaged the reports. I think I can do more good behind a desk. Although, feel free to bring me in when the guns have stopped blazing. I'm good with that. I just don't think my heart can handle much more of this."

Lawson nodded. "As long as I get to keep you on my team."

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

Jep jogged up to them, and Em held her breath. "Sir, we're conducting some preliminary interrogations." He glanced briefly at Em but kept his focus on his boss. "It looks like this thing goes deeper than any of us thought. There are several terror cells involved, engaging in what they're calling guerrilla warfare. Taking us apart piece by piece. Not a bad tactic."

"It worked well for a while."

"They've recruited a lot of US citizens. The ones they couldn't radicalize, they offered whatever it took. Money, power, influence. We're already compiling a list."

"That's good work," Lawson said. "It was well organized and executed. But for now, let's focus on the imminent threats. Do you have any more details about the bombs?"

"Two days is what they said. They're armed. I can go with Cramer. We'll head to the site?—"

"No, we're evacuating the area as we speak, and we've got a team en route." He looked at Jep's chest. "Where'd it get ya?"

Jep tapped the bullet still lodged in the plate. "I'll have a bruise."

"You might have more than that. I want you to get checked out."

"It's not that bad."

"It's been two days since you were cleared of the concussion. I'm not taking any chances."

"Yes, sir. Then I'll head back and help out with the interrogation."

Lawson clapped Jep on the shoulder. "Why don't you take a beat?"

"I'm fine, sir."

"Still." He looked at Em and smiled. "We've got everything under control." He turned toward an agent who was passing by. "Hey, Farris," he said, leaving Em and Jep alone.

"You enjoy the show?" Jep said with a smirk to Em's frown.

"That was awful. I thought you were dead. Again."

"After everything we've been through?"

"Your camera went off, and someone was yelling ‘man down'. What was I supposed to think?"

He slipped off his jacket and removed the vest, groaning as he pulled it off.

"Lift up your shirt," Em said, pulling out her phone and turning on the flashlight. The floodlights had been set up nearby, but she and Jep were standing in shadow.

"What is it you expect to find?"

"I want to see how bad it is."

He pulled up his shirt, and she followed the hem of his T as it lifted, not trying very hard to ignore the waves of muscle. She focused the light on the bruised lump near his heart.

"Ouch," she said, shaking her head. "That must have hurt."

"It did."

"You going to get it checked out like Lawson ordered?"

"That wasn't an order," Jep said, tugging his shirt back into place.

"What if you have a cracked rib?"

"Then they'll x-ray me and tell me I have a cracked rib and that I should rest."

"And you should. You should at least take a few days off."

"Don't worry. I'm taking more than that."

"Good. You deserve a break after everything you've done."

"Em." He reached for her hand but looked around at all the people. "Come here." He led her away from the noise. "I'm taking more than a break."

"What do you mean?"

"I was only brought back for this one job."

"I was talking to Lawson. He's changed his mind about you. I think if you wanted to stay, he'd be happy to have you."

"It's not that."

"Then what is it?"

He sighed. "It's the work I was doing back at the shop with the boys. I thought I was wasting my time, but somehow, through all of this, I realized how important it was. How much those guys need me. Otherwise, they end up in a building like this creating bombs or carrying drugs for someone who would shoot them if they made one small mistake. I need to go back there."

"You can't do both this and that?"

"If I'm going to make it work, I have to put everything into it."

She nodded. "I know you're right. Of course you are." She swallowed back the emotions she'd had plenty of practice ignoring.

"Besides, they don't need me," Jep said. "They have you."

"Very funny."

"I'm not joking. They now know what an amazing agent you would make."

"Lawson asked me about it tonight."

"About being a field agent? Great. I hope you said yes."

"No way. I can't take that kind of pressure. The thought of going back out there. Especially without you… Sitting at a desk is more my speed. And I can still do good work there. Maybe more."

"You don't want to go into the field at all?"

"Maybe on the odd occasion when the danger has passed, and I don't need you there to save my life."

An awkward pause filled the space like a vacuum, siphoning the essence out of everything they wouldn't say.

"Looks like God used these events to give us both exactly what we wanted," Jep said, looking at the ground.

"I hadn't thought of it that way."

"You haven't really had time."

"There you are," Bailey said as he hurried up to Jep. "We've got one of them on the ropes. He's gonna crack. You want in on this?"

"Yeah, I'm on my way. Go ahead. I'll catch up with you." He looked at Em. "I should?—"

"Yeah, go. This is more important than us reminiscing about the times we almost died."

"I hope you'll come out to visit the workshop sometime."

"I'd love to…when I can get away from work. But things will be pretty busy for a while after everything…"

"Yeah, well…whenever you get the chance." He bit his lip. "I guess I'll see ya around."

She nodded as he jogged off after Bailey. The best thing she could do now was to say goodbye and be done with it. There was no point holding onto something that would never be. And with everything that was happening, the chaos of the investigation, they probably wouldn't see each other again or even have to say goodbye.