Chapter 17

"I don't suppose there's any chance you'll let me speak to her alone?" Em said when they reached the room where Jade was being held.

"No. Sorry. Getting you in here is as far across the line as I'll go, and it's only because I'm hoping it will make a difference."

He unlocked the door and entered the room with Emery right behind him.

Jade's head was dipped, but her eyes looked out from under her brow when they entered and tracked Em as she carefully pulled the chair out and sat.

Em looked back at Pearce—who was standing in the corner clasping his hands in front of him—and nodded.

It was hard to look her sister in the eye, but she managed. "Are you hungry or thirsty?" Em said.

The chain from Jade's cuffs rattled as she lifted her hands, pulled a chunk of blonde hair from her ponytail, and twisted it around her finger.

They didn't share much in the way of looks. Jade was much more their father. She had his strong jaw and striking green eyes. But they both had their mom's small, straight nose and blonde hair.

"I've already eaten," Jade said. "It's nice to see you, Emmy. You didn't look too good at the park."

"I'm sorry things are like this."

"Are you? I thought maybe you were enjoying yourself. You look smug."

"No, I don't."

"Did they send you in here cause they thought you'd get me to talk?"

"I was hoping I could help you."

"You got keys for my cuffs? That would help."

"I want to help you not get put away for the rest of your life."

"What difference does that make to you?"

"You're my sister."

"We'd see each other as often."

Jade had always been cool and collected. Her movements measured and precise. Even now, she kept her voice steady. But she carried a sadness in her eyes Em couldn't remember.

"What happened to you?" Em said.

"So many things. I've lived two lifetimes while you've been stuck in this stuffy building. Congratulations, by the way. I didn't know you'd gotten a job with the feds."

Jade was trying to put her on the back foot like she always did. Em had to get answers from her without letting it become personal.

"When did you get back to America?" Em said. "I thought you were in Cambodia."

"I was."

"Is that where you were convinced that killing innocent people was a good thing?"

"So you are here to get me to talk. Since when have I ever been swayed by you?"

"Never. But if you don't cooperate, I can't help you."

"You always did like to pretend you cared about me."

"You don't think I do? You're the one?—"

"I think we're done here."

"You'll go to prison for a long time. Is that what you want?"

"Don't know. I've never been. Maybe I'd like it."

"If you tell us who you are working for?—"

"—You're wasting your time."

"You don't want to help yourself?"

"Here we go again. The false concern."

"I've always cared about you."

"No. You've always been too busy showing off to whoever is most important in your life. First mom, then Carla, now who is it?" She looked at Pearce. "Him? You two having a little office romance?" She made a rude gesture with her hands.

"I'm not showing off. I'm trying to protect people. You and whoever your colleagues are trying to hurt."

"Do you still chew your fingernails?"

"Not since I was a teenager." Em held up her hand to show her sister. "It was connected to my anxiety, so when I learned to handle it better, I stopped."

"Just like that?"

"No. It took a lot of self-discipline."

"Well done. I'd clap for you, but…I couldn't be bothered, what with all this metal dangling off me."

"Why are you being like this?"

"Like what?"

"We were never close, but you didn't used to be rude and sarcastic."

"People change. Sorry to disappoint you."

"You act like none of this matters. That seeing me has no effect on you, but you didn't follow through on your plan in the park because I was there. You can't deny that."

"I'm not denying anything. I was in shock when I saw you. That's all. I thought maybe someone knew you were my sister and was playing a joke. Turns out it was a coincidence."

Em shook her head. "This isn't you. You're either lying, or they've messed with your head so bad?—"

"Maybe it's because I'm being held here against my will. It doesn't garner the best of feelings. If you let me go, I'll be more friendly."

"You were prepared to kill people."

Jade glanced at Pearce. "I didn't do anything wrong. I never hurt anyone."

"But your intent was to do harm."

"How can you sit here in your pretty blouse and high-heeled shoes and act like you know anything of the world? You should never have come in here. I have nothing to give you. Why don't you go back to your lovely little life and forget all about me. You're good at that."

"You're the one who left."

"What choice did I have?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"There was nothing there for me," Jade said. "You had that all tied up for yourself."

"What are you talking about?"

"You had mom wrapped around your finger."

"I don't know how your memory is so skewed, but I had to do everything. The cooking, the cleaning?—"

"Spare me. You loved every second of it. All you ever cared about was pleasing everyone. Everyone but me. Pretty little housemaker."

"I did all that because there was no one else to do it. Mom was passed out most of the time?—"

"And that's why you were her favorite, because you let her shirk all her responsibilities. Then we went to Carla's, and you took her all for yourself too."

"You were never around. You didn't even give her a chance. And I wasn't anyone's favorite."

"Of course you were. You were the good-looking one, the smart one, the clever one. I was the screw up."

"That's why you left? Because you thought everyone liked me better? What I wanted the most was my big sister."

"Well, here I am. Now you get everything you want."

Em stared at her lap. This wasn't working. If she couldn't keep their personal baggage out of the way, it would be impossible to see through to the truth. "The bomb wasn't armed, but it could have been. Why didn't you blow us all up?"

"I should have. What can I say? It turns out I'm a big softy after all. Which means I'm useless to everyone." She glanced at Pearce again. "What a big surprise. But don't worry, sis. I won't let it happen again."

"You won't have the chance again. But you can still save more lives if you work with us."

"Listen to you. Let it go, will you? You're so self-righteous and ignorant."

"About what?"

"The world. You've stayed in your safe little bubble your whole life, while I've been out there seeing what it's really like. And you know what I've discovered?"

"What?"

"That the world isn't fair. People are suffering, and lo and behold, America can sometimes be the bad guy pulling the wings off of flies."

"Those agents that died in the last blast had family and friends. You think their kids aren't suffering right now?"

"Right along with the rest of the world. But real change requires sacrifice."

"Maybe if you had stayed with people you cared about, you would have seen some of the good there is."

"I had to leave my family to care about anything."

"All you're doing is making things worse. What happened to you that brought you to a place where you're willing to murder innocent people? When was it that you switched from having a great time traipsing the globe to strapping a bomb to your chest?"

Jade scoffed. "You really are thick, aren't you?"

"Then help me understand."

"You think I was having a good time?"

"That's what every postcard said."

"Have you ever noticed that it's usually the people who put up those obnoxiously happy posts on social media spewing garbage about how great their lives are that are the ones in the pit of despair? One second, they're married to the most amazing man on the planet, then the next they're getting divorced and shouting venomous accusations at their partner."

"If you were so miserable, you should have come home."

"And do what? Sit around in your shadow? Look at you in your silk blouse with your fancy job. At least I have purpose."

"Aunt Carla offered you purpose."

"What? You mean church?" Jade groaned. "That was the worst of all. I know you got sucked into all that airy fairy nonsense, but that wasn't for me."

"And this is?"

"Yeah. This is real. Are you willing to die for your beliefs? Are you willing to kill?"

It was an interesting question. Would she be willing to die for her faith? But she had to keep the focus on Jade.

"How long have you been back in the States?" Em said.

"Back to the statistics of my movements, huh? Did I cut a little too close to home? Don't want to get too deep now, do we? Sorry. I'd hate to make you uncomfortable."

"How long have you been back?"

"Not long."

"Where were you staying?"

Jade smiled. "No comment."

"More people could die."

"More people will die."

"When? Where?"

"Freedom comes at a price."

"Freedom from what? Law? Goodness?"

"This is becoming tedious."

"You can make it stop. All you have to do is tell me who you're working for."

Jade sighed dramatically. "No comment."

"I told you it would be a waste of time," Pearce said.

"Oh," Jade said. "It speaks. I thought maybe you'd turned into a statue."

"I can't help you if you don't talk to me," Em said.

"Then don't help me."

Em slammed her hand on the table. She was running out of time. "You're as selfish as you've always been. It's always about you. You never cared about anyone but yourself."

"Then I guess we're done here." Jade leaned back in the chair and closed her eyes.

"It doesn't have to be like this," Em mumbled but got up from her chair. "If you change your mind, I'll be around."

"Don't hold your breath."

Em quickly left the room before she could say anymore. Anger, fear, and frustration were boiling up in her gut. She needed to find Jep. He'd understand her pain.

"Family's hard," Pearce said from behind.

"I really thought I could get through to her."

"I think it was like she said. She was surprised to see you there, that's all. I'm sorry, Em. That couldn't have been easy."

"What are people saying?"

"What people?"

"Around the office. About my sister being a terrorist."

"You're worried about what people think? No one blames you, but now that we know she won't speak to you, you need to distance yourself from the investigation. Otherwise, Lawson will have your head."

"I can't do that."

"Em, come on. You don't have a choice. Besides, it's for the best, and you know it. I was in there, remember? I heard what you two said to each other. You're too close to this. You can't separate your emotions."

"Being close is not always a bad thing."

"It is in this case. They have rules about personal involvement for a reason."

"I can't give up on her. And Lawson can't keep me away. He has to do what Jep asks. So I can always come at it from that angle."

"Are you listening to yourself?"

"You know what I mean."

"I'm afraid I do. You're going to attempt to use Jep to get what you want. But it won't work."

"What else can I do?"

"Go home if you have to. No one will stop you. Take some time off. Travel. Do whatever it takes to distance yourself from this before you get into trouble. You're not thinking straight."

"If it was your sister in there, what would you do?"

"Not this."

"You say that, but we never know how we'll respond to situations we aren't prepared for."

"That's what my training is for," Pearce said. "That's why we didn't want you in the field. There is no agent here who would be as emotionally unstable right now as you are."

"I'm emotionally unstable now? Where's Jep? At least I know he's got my back."

"Does he?"

"Don't even start."

"I'm not starting, Em. I'm concerned."

"Jep's a fantastic agent."

"It's not about that."

"I already told you it was my call to stay in the park."

Pearce looked at the floor. "Sometimes when a civilian has a life-altering experience, they can become…" He sighed.

"What?"

"I've seen it happen before."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"The way you feel about Jep, it's not real. It's been brought on by your circumstances."

"The way I feel about him? What are you saying?"

"Becoming romantically attached is a normal reaction."

She gasped. "Romantically attached?"

"You have all this trauma you're dealing with, and he's there for you. It even appears to you as if he's saved your life a couple of times."

"You're suggesting— There is nothing going on between Jep and I."

"I know. But do you want it to?"

"No!" She spun around, walking quickly down the hall. "I can't believe you think I'm in love with Jep."

"I have to check. He's a good agent, but he's not against using people to reach his goal. If you're falling for him, it would be easy for him to manipulate that."

"You think he's using me now?"

"I think he's doing what he needs to in order to get the job done."

"I'm glad to know you have so much faith in the two of us."

"Em. I'm sorry."

"I've got work to do, if you'll excuse me."

She reached the elevator and pressed the button several times. "Come on," she said under her breath. It was impossible to know how to respond to Pearce's accusations. She'd had no idea he thought so low of her.

"Em, we have to work together. I wasn't trying to make you uncomfortable, but sometimes we have to face hard truths. If you say there's nothing there, I believe you."

The elevator door opened. "I hear what you're saying, but give me some time to cool off, and don't ride in the elevator with me."

He lifted his hands in surrender and stepped back. Once the doors closed, she heaved out all her breath. It was a horrifying accusation, but harder given the fact that she was finding it more and more difficult to ignore how she really felt about Jep. And if Pearce was right about her feelings, that was a problem she'd have to face eventually.