Chapter 21

21

U nease knitted Jenna's stomach as she stared up at the church with its white steeple on top of the pitched roof. Unshed tears clogged her throat, but she forced them away and marched toward the door. Pain beat against her skull like a hammer striking a blow with every step, but she couldn't let Calvin see how much she hurt. He'd insist they head home and she rest, and she would, after they talked to the staff.

A quick glance at the lone car parked in the lot made her wince. Chances were slim that the one vehicle belonged to someone who could help them. But unless they tried, they'd never know for sure.

Calvin jogged to her side, and they stepped from the gravel parking lot onto the sidewalk just as a man with a full head of dark hair dressed in black exited from the wooden doors at the top of the stairs. He pivoted and surprise widened his eyes, quickly followed by recognition. "Dr. Simon. How are you holding up?" He descended the steps, stopping in front of them with an outstretched hand. "I planned to call you later. We have most of the arrangements made for Stella's funeral."

"I'm doing okay and thanks. I appreciate you and everyone else here helping with the service." Jenna accepted his hand and gave one shake before gesturing toward Calvin. "Father Bowman, this is Calvin Spradling."

Calvin placed his palm in the priest's before he dropped it. "Good afternoon."

"Nice to meet you," Father Bowman said. "Were you a friend of Stella's?"

Calvin shook his head and took a step back. "No, Father, but I'm very sorry about what happened. I'm a friend of Jenna's and am helping to investigate her death. Jenna mentioned you'd give her a list of people who Stella dealt with for cleaning purposes."

Father Bowman winced. "I'm so sorry I haven't been quicker with getting you those names. Between my regular duties, planning Stella's funeral, and comforting the grieving of one of our parishioners, it slipped my mind."

"That's all right," Jenna said. "Any chance we can get those names now?"

Father Bowman cast his furrowed brow up the staircase leading back to the church then glanced at his watch. "I'm in a bit of a hurry, and no staff is working at the church today. I can call you later this evening, if that's all right. Then I can also give you the details of the funeral."

Jenna shifted her weight and pushed her cold hands in her leather jacket pockets. "How about just a name or two? I can grab the other information off the church website." Time wasn't on her side and sitting around waiting for the priest to call would drive her nuts.

"I suppose that would work. Patsy Holdmeir, the church secretary, might have some information. As well as Zach Piedmont. He's the head of maintenance here. Not sure if you'll find their numbers on the church website, but if not, Patsy will be here tomorrow. We try to keep the church open to the public when possible. For prayers and confession and such. You just happened to catch us at a bad time." He flashed a wide smile.

Jenna blinked, surprised by the amount of charm a member of the clergy could exude. Hell, if more priests and pastors looked like Father Bowman, the pews would be packed every Sunday. "I'm sure we'll find what I need."

He dipped his chin than clasped his hands in front of him. "Good luck. I'll speak with you later. Calvin, nice to meet you. Jenna, God bless."

"What are the odds a secretary and head of maintenance will have the answers we need?" she asked Calvin as she watched Father Bowman dash to his car.

He shrugged. "Who knows. But we have two more names to look at. Maybe there will be a connection to the banks in North Dakota."

"Maybe." A gust of wind blew and rustled the trees lining the quiet street. Vibrant leaves of orange and red whirled along the patch of green grass.

Calvin snaked an arm over her shoulder and led her back toward his car.

She stopped, turning to face him. She stared up at his kind eyes. "Thank you."

Angling his head, he studied her. "For what?"

She smiled. "Seriously? For everything. For helping me when we both know you didn't want to. For staying by my side. For keeping me and my son safe, even when your own life has been on the line. I know we said at the beginning we would keep things strictly professional. But I can't help feel as though something's changed. Whatever that change is, I know it's hard for you. But through everything, you've remained steady as a rock and kept plugging away. Bound and determined to uncover the truth. You'll never know how much that means to me."

"I think we moved past professional a few times over the last couple days." He smirked.

Heat rolled in her gut, fanning the feelings she had for Calvin that had never really left. She couldn't help but chuckle. "Maybe a couple. But I just wanted you to know how much you mean to me. To tell you how much you're appreciated. When this is all over, I'm going to miss spending my days with you, chasing down leads and asking a million questions."

The thought of saying goodbye to Calvin made hot desire burst into a flash of burning pain. She fought to keep her disappointment from showing. Yes, she wanted to catch the bad guy and get justice for Stella, but she wasn't sure she was ready to put Calvin behind her. Having him back in her life had been so natural and easy.

But it had to be his decision to stay. His decision to try again.

A sad smile lifted the corner of his mouth. "It has been a whirlwind, one I never saw coming. I hope you'll be able to get the closure you need when this case is solved."

Not knowing if Calvin meant closure regarding Stella's death or closure over their failed relationship, she forced a wide smile. Breaking away from his touch, she hunched her shoulders against the biting wind and led the way back to his truck. She needed to focus on the task at hand and not get swept up in some silly fantasy.

A fantasy that would keep her awake and lonely for a long time to come.

Calvin put the crayons back in the box and tossed it in one of Oliver's bags. The fire flickered at his back. He smiled at the mess of wiggly lines Oliver had proudly gifted him before Jenna had swept him upstairs for bedtime.

After a busy morning and easy afternoon, the rest of the day had been spent at the shelter. The other woman currently staying had ventured out most of the day and had been in her room once she returned. He hated feeling like his presence kept her from being comfortable, but his options were limited. Especially if he wanted to stay close to Jenna and Oliver.

His nerves were stretched tight as a taut rubber band, ready to snap at any moment. He hadn't stopped kicking himself for not responding differently with Jenna at the church. He'd wanted to open up to her, to let her see what was going on in his head as far as she was concerned. But he'd messed it up, keeping his feelings trapped inside, leaving a weird tension between them instead.

Jenna slowly made her way into the living room with a glass of wine in each hand. She settled on the overstuffed couch nestled in front of the stone hearth. "Sit with me. It's been a tough day. We need to catch our breath a little."

Hesitation slowed his movement. The plush carpet cushioned each step. His brain spun a mile a minute. Every fiber of his being wanted to cuddle in beside her and lay out all his feelings. But if that's not where her mind—or heart—was right now, he didn't want to upset the dynamic they'd fallen into.

Jenna curled into the corner and shot a smile over her shoulder. The glow of the fire illuminated her fair skin. "Come on, slowpoke."

He chuckled and the knots in his stomach loosened. He pushed pause on his brain. There was no need to overthink every move he made. No need to stew in confusion and guilt. He could sit, prop up his feet, and enjoy a glass of wine in front of the fire. Period. Anything beyond that…well, he'd cross that bridge if he ever came to it. And all the rest of it would still be there in all its hideous glory, waiting for him when he was ready. But right now, he selfishly wanted to shove reality aside. Forget the ugliness and focus on Jenna and the time he had left with her.

"Just admiring the view." He kept his gaze locked on her, making sure she understood which view he meant.

A light blush stained her cheeks. She took a sip from her stemless glass. "It's been a long time since we've spent a quiet evening together alone."

He opted to sit on the middle cushion and angled his body toward her, hooking his arm above him on the back of the couch. Invading her personal space could make her skittish, but the desire to be near her sparked every nerve ending in his body. "Remember in high school when I would sneak over after your parents were asleep?"

A smile played on Jenna's lips. She leaned her head back and stared at him with heavy-lidded eyes. "They would have killed you if they'd found you there."

"It would have been worth it." Calvin extended his hand against the smooth leather and twirled a piece of her hair between his fingers. "But they probably would have killed both of us."

She shook her head. "I would have been given a stern lecture."

Calvin gently pulled on the silky strands. "You'd leave me to the wolves, huh?"

The smile fell from her mouth. "Never."

Tilting his head, he studied the gentle slope of her nose and the soft edges of her face. Her eyes turned serious, wide and unrelenting. Emotion clawed up his throat and a million memories flooded him. "You always did have my back."

She dropped her gaze. "Not always. I should have stuck by your side. I shouldn't have stood by Stella, knowing how much she hurt you. I never stopped to think how much her actions stole from you. I'm so sorry." She took a sip of her wine then placed the glass on the end table beside her.

He released his grip on her hair and set his wine on the coffee table. He straightened and reached for her hands, holding them tight in the empty space between them. He wanted to wipe away the lingering tension and get back the easy banter they'd established in the last few days. "Look at me."

She lifted her shy gaze to meet his.

"I understand now that you were in an impossible situation. Stella was your sister, your family. I shouldn't have insisted that you pick her or me. That was a mistake I wish like hell I could take back. I was so devastated when I was kicked out of the police academy—when you refused to kick Stella out. But being young and dumb and acting so impulsively cost me so much more. It cost me you."

Unshed tears glimmered in her eyes. "I've missed you every single day."

Sadness weighed him down. This was the woman he'd planned a future with, the woman he'd wanted to marry and start a family with. "I hope we can put that behind us. That we can trust each other. But even if you can't, whatever you need from me—ever—I'm here."

Jenna lifted one hand from his, leaving the other firmly in his grip, and molded her palm to his jaw. "There's nothing left to say. But that doesn't mean there's nothing more between us."

His gaze met hers, searching for answers, needing to understand what she meant. Fear kept his words tucked inside. "What do you want from me?" His eyes drifted closed. He needed to shut out everything, needed to pull himself together.

Soft lips pressed against his. His heart sputtered in his chest. He opened his eyes, and Jenna's beautiful face hovered so damn close to his.

She batted her long, dark lashes. "I want you."

The sputtering from moments before stalled. He wanted nothing more than to take Jenna back to his room and show her exactly what she meant to him. He rose on trembling legs and scooped Jenna into his arms. A sharp jab of pain pierced his side, but he didn't care. Any amount of discomfort was worth holding Jenna close. She looped her arms around his neck and rested her head against his shoulder.

Excitement battled with sorrow. Tonight, he and Jenna would either be rekindling their love or saying their final goodbye.