Chapter 9

Chapter 9

The water peltedDiel’s head as he stood under the scalding spray of the shower. It ran under the metal of his collar—he didn’t even feel the sting of the freshly fried skin anymore; it was nothing but numbed, unsalvable flesh. He closed his eyes as the blood pooled around the drain. And he thought of brown eyes and a long braid of cotton candy–pink hair.

Noa.

He mentally traced the pentagram on her chest, and the upturned cross in the center. Then he thought of her breasts, of her opening her shirt to show him the brand—no bra, completely exposed to his eyes. His monster awoke inside him at the memory and began to prowl. Diel had never given a fuck about how a woman looked before. He killed them, killed anyone that he could. Gender didn’t matter. But Noa … she was everywhere inside him.

Every time he closed his eyes, he saw her face, he saw her perfect nose and her full lips, saw her long lashes and her body in all that tight black leather. Diel’s hands flattened on the tile before him, then curled into fists. He gritted his teeth and looked down. His cock was hard. He tried to control his breathing, taking deep, calming inhales and exhales. But all he could see in his mind’s eye was Noa. Fucking Noa and her eyes and tits and the way she looked at him and showed no fear at all, her lip hooked up in a taunt.

Everyonefeared him. His victims’ fear was his lifeblood, the fuel to his very existence.

But she wasn’t scared. She wasn’t fucking scared of him one little bit.

Diel snarled as his monster thought of her too. It wanted Diel to go find her, seek her out. Diel’s forehead fell against the tiles, and he made sure his feet remained planted to the floor. He wouldn’t go, even though she was close. So fucking close. Gabriel had put her and her sisters in the housekeeper’s home on the manor’s property—Fallenproperty.

Gabe had fucked up. He should never have put Noa that close. Diel wouldn’t be able to resist the temptation of having her so easily within reach.

Diel’s breathing became choppy as his cock began to pulse. A fantasy was building—he pictured Noa on his bed, wearing no clothes and with her legs spread in invitation. With a guttural, confused roar, Diel wrapped his hand around his cock and squeezed the rock-hard flesh. His jaw clenched at the pain—not pleasure; he wanted to fucking bruise himself. But his monster fought against the self-assault. The monster wanted Noa. Diel slackened his grip on his dick, instead stroking along its length as the monster took control.

Neither Diel nor his monster did lovers. They played no part in their life.

They had never fucked anyone, never even kissed a person. They didn’t get hard for either men or women. They only got hard for kills and blood and the heady feeling that came with stabbing someone through their heart and watching their eyes widen and their lungs fight to breathe. The only time Diel came was when the hot spray of blood would spatter across his face, or when he was looking down at a face that was unrecognizable as the person they’d once been.

But Noa … fucking Noa! She was all up in his head, in his chest and pictured clearly in the monster’s mind. He could feel the shift in him, his constant rage lighting with a different kind of flame.

Diel’s monster worked his hand faster and faster as he pictured her on the bed, completely naked and massaging her tits, hips rolling in pleasure. He could almost feel her skin under his hands, riddled with scars and burns, but feeling like velvet and satin to his rough touch. He could feel the Coven’s brand under his palms, marring her smooth skin.

Wrecked, just like him.

He groaned, his hips punching forward as his cock ran through his tight fist. Was this what it would be like to fuck her? What would she taste like if he licked her skin … if he licked her pussy … ?

Sweat clashed with the shower water as the monster drove his thrusts harder and harder. It envisioned sinking into Noa, her brown eyes latched on Diel’s and her nails slicing into the skin of his back. He’d lick along her scars, the burns and the brand, until he sank inside her and took her. Until she screamed underneath him and he came inside her, marking her as his.

Diel closed his eyes tightly. Light burst behind his eyelids as he came, a tense snarl echoing off the bathroom walls, Noa’s name ripping from his lips.

As his body shook with exertion, his monster slunk back into the darkness, satisfied for now, but leaving Diel spent and breathless, leaning against the slick wall. His body was drained, and his collar hissed from his accelerated pulse. But it wasn’t because he was losing control. It was because his mind was reeling, confusion running thickly in his blood.

Diel looked down at his hands. They were shaking. His skin was flashing between hot and cold, and his throat had gone completely dry. He shook his head to rid himself of his monster’s fantasy of Noa naked on the bed. Pushing the heels of his hands into his eyes, he dropped to the floor of the shower. He didn’t want to fucking see it. He didn’t want to fuck her, didn’t want to touch her or have her touch him.

He killed. He killed and he slaughtered, and he fought his fucking monster.

That was Diel’s life. Not this shit.

Flashes of Purgatory barreled into his brain. Heavy, putrid breaths in his ear as he was tied, belly down, on the rack. Pain and sweat and the rancid body odor of whatever priest had decided to exorcise him that day.

Diel gasped and scrambled to his knees, pushing himself up on unsteady feet. Diel’s monster was already growing too strong. With its new interest in Noa … Diel couldn’t fight it. He couldn’t do it. He was already cleaved in two, his monster gaining strength day by day. He couldn’t fight this battle over Noa too.

Gabriel had made a mistake. A deadly one. Diel needed the Coven fucking gone. He had to make them fucking go before it became the thing to finally destroy him. She would fucking destroy him.

Noa.

Diel snarled, and his monster shifted to the forefront of his brain, extending its claws in warning against even thinking about hurting her. But Diel didn’t want Noa. He needed her gone …

He needed her dead.

He pushed out of the shower stall and wrapped a towel around his waist. Diel slammed out of the bathroom, a red mist descending over his eyes. This time, the murder he craved had nothing to do with the monster, and everything to do with him.

When he stepped out into his bedroom, he saw Sela on the cushioned seat of the bay window, drawing on his sketchpad. His long dark hair was hanging over one shoulder. Sela looked up at Diel and narrowed his dark eyes. “Haven’t calmed down yet?”

Diel’s nostrils flared and his lip curled in disgust. His stomach tensed as he kept his monster down deep, unable to break free and sink its claws into his motherfucking brain.

“He shouldn’t have brought them here,” Diel spat, and he moved to his closet to get out a pair of sweatpants. He threw them on and came back out into his bedroom.

“The pink-haired one with the braid,” Sela said, not a question, just a perfect fucking guess at what had Diel so rattled. “What is it? You want to kill her or fuck her?” Sela raised a single eyebrow. “Or both?”

“I don’t fuck.” Diel paced in front of the lit fire. Assault after Brethren assault fired at his brain like unrelenting rounds of bullets as that word circled his head. Fuck. The only kind of fucking he knew was as a kid, being strapped down and taken against his will. And with every fuck that had been forced upon him, the monster inside of him grew more and more powerful, woke from whatever depth of hell it was born in and possessed Diel’s soul.

Over time, the monster grew bigger and bigger until it could spread its arms and legs and fill the marrow of every bone in Diel’s body, penetrate every fiber in his muscles. It had eclipsed any light inside Diel’s heart and taken the lead, pushing Diel behind it, taking on the Brethren so Diel didn’t have to—his frontline, war-shredded soldier. The monster had attacked. It bit and snarled and slashed at any of the priests who tried to cut him from Diel’s body. Who tried to douse him in holy water and fuck the bad from his depraved soul.

So, they put Diel in chains. They wrapped them around his neck to cage the monster, to take away the monster’s freedom and keep them both strictly under their control.

And the monster soured. Year by year, unable to fight, to protect Diel like it was designed to do, it soured and rotted until it became a wraith, an enraged black shadow of death—it offered no forgiveness or second chances. It killed without explanation, relishing in any blood it got to spill and any piece of flesh it got to tear. It was feral and untamed. And, in time, it became part of Diel. Inextricably fused to everything Diel was. They were dualistic. Twin souls trapped in one ruined body.

But not right now. For the first time ever, they were split in their desires, opposing magnets ripping themselves apart.

Diel could feel the monster trying to cut its way through his internal barrier to take control, to rise to the surface and bind his hands over this raging desire.

Diel couldn’t let that happen. Not this time. Noa had to die. The act of fucking had only ever brought pain and destruction to Diel. He didn’t care about the joining of flesh or sinking into someone and coming inside them. If it didn’t involve death, he didn’t want to know.

Noa had no choice but to die. He couldn’t let his monster have her like that. It would destroy everything they had built since Purgatory. It would make them vulnerable again. Diel wouldn’t ever be fucking vulnerable to anyone ever again.

Diel felt his pulse speed up as he fought the monster. He held his breath and wrested it back further and further, sweat dripping down his back as he fell to the floor and the collar buzzed a warning. But the fight only grew worse. The collar was designed to stop his monster from attacking someone else—its purpose was never to stop Diel fighting himself.

He gripped his head as the monster slashed at his muscles, agony exploding through him like spilled acid. The buzzing ended, only for a bolt of pain to cut through him, like lightning touching ground and scorching anything in its path.

Diel’s body writhed, and his head hit the floor as the familiar volts rendered him immobile. He tried to breathe through the shocks that made him jerk uncontrollably. A hand landed on his bicep. “Breathe, brother,” Sela said, crouching down beside him.

Diel’s throat felt raw; his chest burned from the internal fight. But his monster was silent. Diel had gained a victory for now. Sela’s hands moved underneath Diel’s arms and he lifted him to his feet, sitting him on the closest couch. Diel’s head ticked as the last of the volts tried to flee his body. His knuckles were white as he gripped the arm of the couch.

He closed his eyes and breathed, searching for signs of the monster’s second attack. Everything was silent. But Diel knew his monster was only buying itself time. Waiting, like an expert guerilla fighter, hidden from Diel’s senses but silently strategizing its next move with absolute precision.

A glass of water appeared before his face. Reaching out with a trembling hand, he took the glass that Sela held. He drained it, but the storm inside of him didn’t lessen. It raged, dark clouds rolling, gaining power and momentum.

She had to die. Noa had to die tonight. He had to stop this internal madness.

Sela dropped to the seat beside Diel. Diel stared at a single drop of water traveling down the outside of the glass. His hands steadied, and he felt a wash of calmness take control of him. This was him without the monster, he realized. This was the silence that came when the monster’s eternal roar was muted.

“She’s gotten to you,” Sela finally said, and Diel’s head twitched again, the tic he’d developed over the years of being trapped underneath the collar.

“I never knew there’d be more of us out there,” Diel said.

Sela sighed. Diel flicked his gaze to his best friend. Sela’s already dark eyes seemed to take on an obsidian tone. “And it was my brother,” Sela said. “When he disappeared on us all those years ago, graduated from Father Quinn’s fucked-up tutelage, it was to go to the Coven.” Not a muscle on Sela’s body moved. He was as still as the statues he often crafted. “We know he’s alive.” He met Diel’s eyes. “I know my fucker of a brother is still alive. And we know he’s somewhere close.”

“You’re going to kill him,” Diel said. It wasn’t a question. He knew it was a truth as certainly as he knew that the sun would bring a sunrise each day.

“Yes.”

Sela got to his feet, clearly still thinking about his brother, if his thunderous expression was anything to go by. Sela had secrets well hidden. Things he had never shared about himself, his past. Diel knew it. He never pushed his friend for more information. All the Fallen had things that lived in their souls unspoken. Some didn’t even remember anything before Purgatory. At least that was the case for Diel. His first memory was being taken to the underground dorm by the Brethren. Not even a flicker of life remained in his brain from before that, not even what he had done to trigger the Brethren’s interest in him at Holy Innocents Home for Children. Being branded an evil sinner was his genesis as a person. Years lost and never to be recalled. His formative years were a black void of nothingness.

At that thought, Diel felt a stirring of the rage that ran in his veins as potently as his blood. For too many years he’d lived with his monster and the constant burn of anger flooding his every cell. He didn’t know calm or happiness, quietness or solace. He knew darkness and death and the feel of fresh blood coating his palms.

Death was who he was. Death was his comfort. It was his closest ally and friend.

“If you go down this path, there’ll be consequences, brother,” Sela said, ripping Diel from his thoughts. But the aftertaste of the reminder of who he was still remained on his tongue. Noa. He had to fucking kill Noa. Everything would go back to normal if she would just die.

“Not from me,” Sela continued. “But Gabriel won’t accept it. This isn’t like Raphael bringing Maria here. This is murdering someone he vowed to protect.”

Diel’s chest tightened. His brothers were his only family. The only people who had ever been somewhat exempt from his monster’s wrath, if they didn’t taunt him or push him too far. But when he thought of his monster’s fantasy of having Noa in bed, her hands on her pussy, enticing him, and his cock deep inside her, he knew there could be no other way. He would never fuck. He couldn’t bear to have anyone touching him like that. Diel couldn’t allow his monster to win and seduce Noa.

Because his monster always won.

Diel jumped to his feet and felt sweat dripping down his face. He moved to his closet and pulled on a long-sleeved black shirt and his black boots. Sela stood by the door, silently waiting for Diel to make his choice. When Diel came back into the living room of his quarters, clothed to kill, Sela nodded at him, then left the room.

Diel checked the time. It was after midnight. He glanced out the window. The grounds were shrouded in darkness. He flicked off the lights in his rooms and sneaked out of the door. His footfalls were silent as he made his way down the hallways and to the first floor. His head twitched as he fought to remain quiet, staying vigilant against the threats of both being discovered by his brothers and the monster blindsiding him from within. He went down the stairs to the basement and moved to the door to the tunnels that connected all the manor’s buildings to the main house.

He took the key from the hook and put it in the lock. Just before he turned it, he froze, eyes on the cluster of ancient keys. Gabriel had trusted him, trusted all the brothers. Regardless of their wicked natures, and the darkness their holy brother knew burned inside them, Gabriel trusted that his brothers wouldn’t harm the Coven. He trusted that his Fallen would obey the commandments that they had lived by for so long.

Diel’s gut twisted for a second at the thought of betraying Gabriel, but then he felt the monster stir, and he wrenched the door open. His instinct for survival overrode any worry about hurting Gabe. Diel’s pulse fired into a sprint, and he fled into the tunnel, closing the door behind him.

The tunnel was dark and damp, with only old lamps giving any kind of light from the slippery walls. His feet faltered when his monster charged, crashing against his ribs. It spread its claws and began to slash at his organs and flesh. The pain the monster inflicted on his torso almost made him drop to the floor.

His collar buzzed. “No,” Diel hissed, trying to breathe calmly so as not to incur the collar’s wrath. He crawled along the damp floor, palms slick on the stone. He managed to push himself to his feet just as the monster attacked again. It swung Diel’s body into the wall; his arm bled as the jagged old rocks in the walls sliced his skin.

“You won’t win,” he growled, addressing his monster, and picked up his feet. But the monster struck again. Diel’s other arm took the impact this time as he crashed into the opposite wall. The coppery scent of blood filled the dank, sticky air around him. He felt the warm liquid soaking into the sleeves of his shirt. Still, he pushed on. He pushed and pushed himself, muscles aching and breathing labored as he turned right in the maze of underground tunnels and found himself at the door to the housekeeper’s home.

The monster lashed out one more time, wrapping its long claws around Diel’s throat. Diel’s back scraped against the wall, the rough stone digging into his spine. His head was rigid in the monster’s grip. “I won’t do it,” he hissed, and the monster swelled through his body, aiming for full possession, for complete control. Diel tensed and fought back in a furious battle for dominance.

He could feel the monster’s wants and needs. It wanted them to finally take someone as their own after years of solitude. Years of fighting for Diel, of taking the punishments from the Brethren priests so Diel didn’t have to face them. Years of taking the lead, killing and gaining revenge in the name of anyone that had ever hurt them. The monster had had enough—it demanded that it be allowed Noa in compensation for all the years of being Diel’s shield. That after years of being fucked and tortured, it be given her in reward.

But Diel conjured up the image of Noa naked before him, his hands in her long pink hair, and he shuddered, his throat closing tight. The monster might have taken the brunt of the Brethren punishments, but Diel was always there with it, withdrawn from the act but still hearing the grunts, smelling the priests’ tobacco-and-whiskey-laden breaths as they smothered his skin and tried to exorcise the monster from within him.

But the monster had always been too strong for them to win.

Something Diel was very aware of as his own fight with the dark entity inside him raged on.

“No.” Diel pushed the monster from his throat and wrestled it back to the dark depths of his soul. With all his remaining strength, he kept it locked away as he faced the door and inserted the key into the lock. It turned, and Diel silently pulled the door open.

His breathing was rough as he climbed the steps to the kitchen. The house was quiet but for Diel’s audible breaths. He slunk against the walls, inching along the perimeter of the dining and living rooms until he reached the central staircase. He ascended it in silence, his pulse thudding as he neared the second floor, a carpet swallowing his footfalls. An array of bedroom doors was spread before him. He had no idea which one was Noa’s, so he closed in on the one nearest to him. He pressed his ear to the door and silently turned the knob. As the door opened, he saw red hair spilling over a pillow like a flame.

Not her.

Next was the small brunette. After that were the two females who were together, sleeping side by side. Diel paused for a moment and watched them in bed together. The blonde had her arm over the waist of the brunette, a peaceful look on her face, even in sleep.

Embers flickered in Diel’s chest. He had never seen two people sleeping together—not fucking, just … asleep, trusting the other not to hurt them, not to kill them. Diel frowned and his cheek twitched, a strange heat seared through his body.

He immediately felt the monster wake again. Knowing he was lacking time, he rushed to the next door, only to find it already slightly open. He peered through the gap; Dinah sat at the window seat across the room, a book of some kind in her hand. She didn’t see Diel at the door, too lost in the book, eyes and fingertips racing down the page.

He turned to the final door. The one at the very end of the hallway, slightly set aside on its own. Noa. She would be in that room. Diel stumbled as his monster charged again, aware that Diel had found the one he was looking for. Diel gritted his teeth and held firm against his monster’s assaults. Sweat broke out on his brow. Goosebumps exploded over his skin despite the boiling blood flowing in rapids underneath.

Dead.

She had to die.

Diel closed his eyes and clenched his fists. Despite he and his monster being at odds, he felt the rush of euphoria sweep over him like a tidal wave—the spike of ecstasy before a kill. A thick black fog descended over his body and soul, and his vision tunneled on the door ahead.

Light as a feather, he crept to the door and slowly turned the knob. A riot of pale pink hair greeted him as his blue eyes landed on the bed. Diel stilled for a second, taking in the scene. Noa was facing away from him, her back to the door. He couldn’t take his gaze off the shape of her. The white sheet over her body molded to her curves. And her skin … There were straps of some kind over her shoulders, but her arm and upper back were completely exposed. The moonlight streaming through her window like floodlight beams showcased her porcelain color.

Diel felt his cock grow hard, and he ground his jaw in disgust. He tried to make his feet move, but he couldn’t get them off the fucking floor. Then, as Diel let his guard down, his monster struck, its heavy weight knocking him back several feet.

Diel stumbled and tried to right his stance. His attention slammed back to Noa, but she remained asleep. He gripped his messy black hair as he fought his monster back. His muscles were strained and bulging under his shirt at the effort it took just to wrench the monster from one of his limbs. Sweat ran in salty rivulets down his face. His heart pounded like a bass drum, a crescendo, beating faster and faster as the fight increased in ferocity. The battle with his monster was as real to Diel as if the monster had severed from their conjointment and become a towering, gargantuan scaled monster before him.

Diel held his breath and fought with all his might, managing to rip the monster from his arm and punch him through the chest. But the strain and effort caused him to gasp out loud. The monster retreated, blood pouring. But Diel knew it was temporary. A mere chest wound wouldn’t kill the monster. It was infinite, insensate, and it was born with black-tarred blood and granite-tough skin.

His strength was waning, but Diel had Noa in his sights again. He leaped for the bed, his knife burning like red-hot steel in his back pocket. He dove onto the bed, but just as he did, Noa whipped around, a vortex of pale pink wrapping around him. Iron-strong legs grasped Diel’s waist and, taking him off guard, flipped him onto his back. His injured monster roared in victory, deafening Diel where he lay.

Diel gave Noa no time to best him. Even though he was weakened, his hands lashed out to grab her arm and pull him beneath her. But she was there first, gripping his wrists and slamming them onto the bed. Diel’s breathing was heavy, his body twitching with the need to bring her down. But he paused. He froze as Noa, in nothing but white panties and bra, sat above him, her barely covered pussy over his jean-clad cock.

Her brown eyes clashed with his. A smile pulled on her red lips, showing a glimpse of her white teeth, and Diel wanted to fucking howl in rage. His collar began to snap and hiss.

Not right now. Not right fucking now!

“I’m going to fucking end you,” he spat, but Noa didn’t move, just kept her hands on his wrists and that fucking smirk on her face. Diel couldn’t move while his collar was waking. It would bring him down. It would incapacitate him and give Noa time to destroy him first. His eyes dropped to the brand on her chest. Then they moved over the mass of scars and burns and rope marks on her wrists and ankles.

Noa’s long pink hair was a curtain around them, hiding them from anything outside of her bed. She lowered her face toward him. Diel’s dick punched against his jeans as her sweet scent cocooned him. Then her smile dropped and, softly, she said, “You think I didn’t know you’d be coming for me?”

At the sound of Noa’s voice, his monster used all its strength and plowed through Diel’s defenses. With the monster in control, Diel rolled Noa onto her back, pinning her to the mattress, strength flooding back into his wasted muscles. She planted her hands on Diel’s chest. Humor spread across her beautiful face. “Who am I staring at right now? The man or the beast?”

Diel bit his lip and lowered his head. His nose touched Noa’s neck, and he ran it along the curve of her jaw, lips hovering just above hers. He flicked out his tongue and groaned as the taste of her burst onto it. As his cock swelled, pressing harder against her panties, Noa moved her hand to Diel’s neck and squeezed. The monster groaned in pleasure; pain and the ecstasy of her touch had set his body alight.

Noa’s free hand moved to Diel’s hair and yanked on the strands, her vise-like grasp pulling his head down until his nose hovered a millimeter above hers. She searched his eyes, then that smirk appeared again. “Hello, pretty monster.”

Diel mustered all the strength he could and pushed the monster from the forefront. His jaw tightened when the monster slashed its claw across his stomach as it fell back to the depths of its cage. Diel slipped back in charge, and before he could take a single breath, he became aware of the subtle warmth between his legs. His eyes slammed downward. A guttural cry ripped from him as he felt the heat from Noa’s pussy against his rigid cock. As she spread her milky thighs. His eyes flicked back up. Noa’s nipples were erect and pushing against the material of her bra.

Releasing her arms, Diel shifted back, losing his balance and tumbling from the bed. His large body hit the floor with a thud. It was all the opening the monster needed to strike again. Diel was dog-tired; the ongoing battle for his soul was too much against the monster’s superior artillery.

As he fought against the monster’s punches and slashes and ever-sharpened claws, his body failed to lift off the floor, depleted of energy and too wounded to strike back. His nails dug into the wooden floorboards as the monster sliced open his back. Diel roared out, his agonized voice echoing off Noa’s bedroom walls.

He panted, black spots appearing in his vision. The collar surged in warning, but he was unable to calm his racing heart and it ignited, a white-hot lightning bolt striking straight through his broken body, shattering it to smithereens. Blistering pain clouded his head.

Through his hazed effort to hold on to some sliver of consciousness, he heard the door to Noa’s bedroom burst open. “What the fuck?” Even slipping in and out of the fog swarming his brain, he recognized Dinah’s voice.

“I’ve got this,” Noa said. Diel blinked his eyes open. His monster shimmered to the forefront, clinging to any sound from Noa’s mouth, any movement from her body. Diel lifted his head from the floor and saw Noa jump from the bed and usher Dinah out of the room. “I said I’ve got this.”

“He attacked you?” Dinah asked, her tone switching from surprised to outright savage.

“Dinah!” Noa snapped. “I can handle it. I expected it. I was waiting.” Noa went quiet, then said in a softer voice, “I saw it in him. Saw it from the first night.”

“Noa …” Dinah said, sympathy flooding her tone.

“I’m handling this.”

“I’ll tell Gabriel—”

“No, you won’t,” Noa hissed back, and the monster’s strength built. Noa was defending them. Noa was protecting them. Diel frowned, confused as to why she wouldn’t just kill them, wouldn’t hand him to Gabriel for retribution.

“I won’t fucking stay here if this is the shit they try to pull,” Dinah said.

“You’re going to go back to your room, and I’m going to handle this,” Noa ordered, and Diel felt himself growing hard again, the monster preening at the authority in Noa’s voice. Diel was still as night, recovering, but listening.

Why was she doing this? What did she gain from protecting him?

“I hope you know what you’re doing, sister,” Dinah said. “You’re dancing with the devil and you know it.”

Noa shut the door, sealing Diel, herself and the monster inside. Diel’s head dropped back to the floorboards, cheek to the cold, worn wood. He watched with wide eyes as Noa approached. Her long, toned legs came into view, much to the monster’s delight.

Then she stopped before his exhausted, internally battered body and lowered herself to her ass. She crossed her legs and leaned her arms on her knees, and she looked Diel in the eyes. His lip lifted in a snarl, but the monster quickly smothered Diel’s flicker of power and pushed him back, just like it had done for so many years in Purgatory. But this wasn’t to protect him from pain—this was so the monster could have Noa all to itself. Diel was the enemy to it now, not some evil-minded priest. It wanted to possess her. It wanted to own her. It coveted her more than it had anything before.

Noa reached out her hand. Diel recoiled; the monster smiled. She pushed back his hair that had fallen over his forehead. Shivers raced down his spine, and he held his breath as she ran her finger down his stubbled cheek. The monster closed its eyes, relishing the warmth from the unfamiliar touch.

Affection. Diel knew of the word, the concept, but had never experienced the reality.

For the first time in their lives, Diel felt the monster soften. Diel the man sat back in his body, wrapping his arms around his knees, feeling Noa’s stroke but trying his best to repel it. But he felt it regardless. Despite all his efforts, he felt it.

It was soft … gentle.

“I need to speak to Diel,” Noa said, her voice quiet and tame, and Diel stilled within his protective wall behind his monster. His pulse quickened. What could she ever want with him? He wanted to kill her; he would have succeeded if he hadn’t been beaten by his monster’s demonic strength.

The monster prickled. It didn’t want to release Diel from his place behind the wall inside them. It was exhausted from the battle and didn’t trust the new enemy sharing his skin.

“He won’t hurt me.” Noa smiled at the monster. Diel felt the comfort of that smile fill the monster’s arctic heart, the ice cracking and letting in something that felt like hope. Diel was sitting in the darkness, but he saw a glimpse of light up above as the monster opened the cell door that could release him from his exile. Then the light built and built until it was a flood of blinding yellow, a glittering supernova.

Diel was wrenched forward, hissing at the deep ache in his bones. When he blinked, he was back lying on the wooden floor, but his monster had withdrawn deep inside him, a temporary truce struck between them—time to heal and seek some modicum of peace. But he felt the monster’s darkness looming over him, a beastly specter, ready to intervene if need be. If he even tried to make a move toward Noa in a way that was remotely threatening.

Diel could feel the monster reliving the touch of Noa’s finger on his cheek, the hand raking tenderly through his dark hair. Diel couldn’t escape the monster’s reaction. The warmth rubbed off on Diel too. But he pushed it away. He didn’t want it. He didn’t want the solace of another’s touch. He had his brothers and death, and that was always enough for him.

Diel swallowed. His throat was raw and dry. Noa’s softness for the monster stung, as if her affection had gouged a wound into his skin. He lifted his gaze and met Noa’s waiting brown eyes. Her long pink hair fell to her waist, a shining gemstone curtain. Her lashes were long and black. Her lips were full and red. He had never seen anyone like her. She was tall and toned with milky white skin. Being so exhausted, he finally saw her. No fights. No monster rushing to the surface. Just him, looking at her. A Brethren-branded witch. A survivor of them just like him.

His chest tightened as he studied her. He braced himself, breath held, in case it was the monster rising back to the surface. But the aura of darkness surrounding the monster was dormant, sleeping, and Diel couldn’t understand what the feeling in his chest was if it wasn’t the other part of his soul.

Noa cleared her throat and held her chin high. In that moment, he thought she looked like some kind of mythical warrior. “Tomorrow night,” she said, and Diel frowned, not understanding what she meant. “We’ll meet. And we’ll end this between us.”

Even fatigued, Diel felt the stirring of excitement in his blood. She raised an eyebrow. “You want me dead? Then you won’t come for me like a coward skulking around in the night.” Diel’s lip curled as her accusation hit him like a million shards of glass. He was no fucking coward. Still, Noa was unfazed by his ire. “We’ll face each other as equals, and one of us will come out on top.” Diel felt his monster spring to life and begin to rage. Noa must have seen something in his face, because she said, “This is between Diel and me.” It took him a moment to realize she was talking to the monster. “You won’t get between us. This has to happen.” Diel blinked in shock as the monster stilled then moved back out of reach, unhappy but obeying her command.

“No one will know about it but us.” Noa pushed back her hair, her Brethren brand moving as she did so. “You know these grounds better than I do. You pick somewhere no one will find us, or hear us. But somewhere we can fight.”

Diel’s head raced. He was going to face her in battle. Excitement burst inside him, expelling some of his tiredness. “The folly,” he rasped. There was a folly on the grounds, near the lake. Gabriel had had it fashioned into a training ring. It was secure, perfect for fighting, and far away from anyone in the houses.

Noa nodded. “Midnight. Tomorrow night.” She got to her feet and moved to the ornate closet against the wall. She pulled on a black sweater, leggings and boots. Diel never took his eyes off her as she dressed, feeling a strange stretch in his chest. He felt his monster watching, fascinated by the pink-haired woman who had just thrown down the gauntlet without an ounce of fear in her bones.

She didn’t fear Diel. The monster felt a strange satisfaction at that.

Noa moved back to where he lay. “We’re going to get you up, and we’re taking you back to bed at your own home. No one will know of this.” Before he even had a chance to protest, Noa placed her arms under his and pulled. Diel pushed himself to his feet, the heat from the collar’s strike still burning the skin on his neck. He swayed, depleted, but Noa pressed herself to his front to steady him.

Diel hissed and struck out, wrapping his hand around her throat. Noa’s eyes met his. “Try it,” she taunted. “Try to fucking kill me, and see what happens to you.” Her neck felt slender under his large hand. He could feel the delicate nature of her bones beneath his palms. The skin on her neck was soft and unmarred by scars. And her pulse … it was steady, and so fucking alive.

For a moment he pictured it ceasing under his grip, and an ache formed in his chest. But his attention fell to her lips, chasing away that odd ache. He found himself leaning in; her sweet scent was like the most decadent of desserts, the pull toward her like a swift yank of the chain he’d worn as a child. But then he wrenched himself back. He was breathless and flushed, and he felt a droplet of sweat slip down his spine.

No!

She needed to die.

His monster’s attraction to her was fucking with his head.

Ripping his hand back, he saw his red finger marks on her skin. His dick twitched at the sight.

“Let’s go.” Noa led him from the room. As they hit the hallway, Dinah appeared at her door, her livid eyes fixed on Diel. She folded her arms over her chest as Noa passed by her without word.

Noa led him down the stairs. His feet were heavy with each step. She steered him to the tunnel and climbed inside with him. Wordlessly, she led him down the dark, damp hallways until they arrived at the manor house door. His muscles flexed with the need to just end her now, in the quiet secrecy of the tunnel, but something stopped him. Only it wasn’t the monster, who watched him from afar, following Noa’s instructions to leave the matter to her and Diel. It was something inside him. He pictured the folly tomorrow night. Her in her leather versus him. The blood, the pain, the fists and the screams.

He fought back the groan that clawed up his throat.

Unaware of his cock growing hard at those thoughts, Noa opened the door to Eden Manor. “Tomorrow night.” She shoved Diel through the door. Sudden movement from inside the manor caught his attention as he fell against the wall. Sela stood at the top of the stairs, waiting. His dark gaze snapped to Noa. Noa, who was still alive and breathing. Sela’s eyebrows drew down in confusion, then he descended the stairs without a word and pulled Diel into the main house. When Diel looked back, the door to the tunnel was shut and Noa was nowhere to be seen.

“Come on, brother.” Sela helped him to his quarters. He dropped Diel to the bed and moved to the window seat. He turned off the lights, leaving only a single candle to give him light as he picked up his sketchpad and began to draw.

Diel closed his eyes, and all he could see was Noa. All he could feel. As heat spread through his veins, he tensed and tried to push back the monster. But the monster hadn’t moved from its lair. At all. No, that warmth had come from the memory of Noa in Diel’s own, monster-free mind.

His lip curled in disgust. It only made him want to kill her more.