Chapter 33

Jayce

If a stare could burn a hole in the back of my head, Circe’s would. I feel her rage until Shay and I are out of sight.

If only there were a “crazy” test before sleeping with someone.

I haven’t reached for Shay’s hand or said a word for fear of saying the wrong thing and sending her running from me again.

Even though we’ve only shared a bed the one time while I held her, I slept better each night knowing she was near. I haven’t had a wink of sleep since she abandoned me.

In our living room, I can no longer think of this home as mine anymore. It’s ours. She plops into the leather chair. She chose a single seater to keep me at a distance. A separation I won’t stand for a second longer.

She squeals when I scoop her up and sit back down in the chair with her in my lap. I rub circles along her back.

“I’m dying inside. Please talk to me.”

Her bottom lip trembles. I resist pulling it in between my teeth.

“I don’t understand why you love me.”

I’ve never said those words to her, but they’re true. From the moment I saw her.

“You’re my mate, of course, I love you.”

She takes a deep breath before continuing. “How can you say you love me? You barely know me. You don’t know what hurts me. You don’t know my fears. You only know what’s on the surface.”

I wanted to interrupt her, but she spoke so fast I didn’t get a chance.

“My past relationships with the sweet butts hurts you. That I haven’t heard your clock ticking hurts you. Finding out your parents aren’t your parents and that they don’t even know it hurts you. Your aversion to kids when you believe kids are a deal breaker for me hurts you. Not knowing Priscilla was your twin all your life hurts you. Your birth mother walking in and telling you what a monster your sperm donor is hurts you.” She opens her mouth to interrupt. “I’m not done.” I tell her with my finger over her lips.

“Fears. You’re afraid I won’t want you when you actually tell me you never want kids. You’re afraid I won’t want you if sex isn’t an option for us. You’re afraid I’ll tie you down and keep you from living your dreams. You’re afraid I’ll resent you if I love you as you are and don’t ask you to change.”

I could keep going but her tears flow faster the more I admit I know about this woman who controls how many beats per minute my heart pumps.

“Show me,” she whispers.

I swallow the lump in my throat over what she might mean when she says show me.

She straddles my lap. All my willpower can’t keep my dick from rising with her core resting on him.

I should object. How do I do that without it sounding like I don’t want her?

She cups my cheeks with her hands. “I may not have told you the whole truth…”

My hands palm her ass and stare into her emerald eyes.

She exhales deeply. “My therapist says I should try before the end of our sessions. To gauge my progress and all. It terrifies me still. But…”

I’m afraid too, but I know that never trying isn’t an option.

She fiddles with the buttons on my shirt. “None of the areas hurt with pressure anymore. Only when I’m extremely stressed.”

“Baby, you seem a little tense right now,” I stupidly point out.

She’s working on the last button of my shirt. Her hands rub along my pecs, down my abs, until they stop at my belt buckle.

She shakes her head. “My pussy isn’t spicy with stress right now. It’s flared with need.”

I can smell her need. I’ve basked in it for weeks.

Chivalry aside, I can’t resist the look in her eyes.

She stands in front of me. She lifts her shirt over her head before dropping it to the floor. Her sweet, pierced nipples—no longer a mystery in my imagination. Along with the tattoo of a bouquet of tulips, splayed from her hip all the way to her ribcage. The glimpses of ink taunt me with each crop top she wears.

My cock aches against the zipper of my pants, but she’s in control. I refuse to move until she wants me to.

Shay shimmies her shorts down her hips. Leaving her thong behind. I lean forward and reach for her, but she shakes her finger at me with a tsk, tsk .

My bull laughs at my expense.

She falls to her knees. Her fingers make quick work of the button on my pants before she gently slides the zipper over my cock, begging for release.

Surprise. I’m not an underwear kind of guy. Never have been. She pulls my long, thick member out with her soft hands. My size never worried me before her.

She looks at him with desire and not fear. I nearly hiss when she licks her lips before pulling me into her hot mouth.

My fingers weave through her hair as I hold on to her head. I won’t last long at this pace. She must sense that I need her to stop when she pulls away with a pop of her lips on the tip.

Shay rises and removes the last morsel of clothing from her sexy body. She dangles the panties in front of my face. I accept the gift while burying it in my nose.

Her confidence and beauty mesmerize me. She slides her fingers toward her pussy before slipping one into her core. I can’t wait until my beard is soaking in her juices.

I try getting up, but she tsk, tsks me again.

“I’ve been playing this moment over and over in my head every night,” she teases.

I lean back in the chair and wait.

“If I can do this, I can do anything,” she tells me as she straddles me again.

I think we both hold our breath. I grip my cock to help guide him while she slowly lowers herself. I watch her face carefully for any signs of pain.

Her moves are tortoise like, but I don’t care.

I grip her hips with the final inch. She wiggles her ass once I’m fully inside her. Our bodies as one.

I look into her eyes. A smile lights up her face. She cups my cheeks again. “You know I love you too.”

Our lips meet while she moves up and down on my cock.

I toe my shoes off then stand with her still riding me. She wraps her arms around my neck and her legs around my hips, holding me tightly. My pants fall to the floor before I kick them away too.

Careful not to separate our bodies, I bring her to my room. After tonight—our room.

I lay her down on the king size bed before diving into her hot pussy for a taste. More than a taste. I lap up her juices from front to back. Her body bucks against me.

Next time, I’ll make her pussy quiver on my tongue.

I stand back for a moment and stare at her beauty sprawled out for me. I have an idea. “Stay just like that for me. I’ll be right back.”

I return with my phone. “May I?” I ask first before snapping the picture I want hanging on our wall.

She smiles and nods her approval.

I toss my phone after I’m satisfied. My dick finds its happy home inside of her.