Chapter Five

∞∞∞

Ruby:

I wake to a dark room. For years I’ve slept with a light on so my thoughts are muddled, wondering what I’m doing in the dark. Then I hear a grunt and a buzzing snore next to me. I shift around to find myself face to face with the most adorable sight. Jaxon curled into me, snoring loudly. So loudly I’m amazed that I’ve slept through the buzzing crescendo.

His bright blue eyes are closed and his dark lashes lie on high cheekbones, tanned skin stretched across the sharp bones. I reach a tentative finger out and caress his dark cheek, marveling at the raspy scruff that outlines his full lips.

I’ve never seen a more beautiful man and it’s kinda amazing that he’s lying here with me. That he wants me. That he says he loves me and wants forever with me.

It’s more than amazing actually. It’s freaking crazy.

Bright blue eyes open and stare into mine, a smile curling his lips. “Morning, darlin’.”

I can feel my own lips tilt in a sassy grin. “Good morning? Do you know how bad you snore? It’s like a buzz saw.”

“I take offense at that. I’ve never snored a day in my life,” he huffs.

I tilt my head and smirk, “Jax, I don’t know if you understand how snoring works. You don’t hear it because you’re asleep. Everybody else’s ears are the ones that suffer an injury from the decibel level.”

At that insult, he leaps up and grabs me, tickling me until I’m helpless with laughter. I look up into his face and still, a warmth coiling through my body from the heat burning in his molten gaze.

His eyes slide down to my lips and I can feel that aching emptiness hitting my core again. I’m desperate for his touch, his taste.

“Jaxon? Please,” I whisper.

He smiles and his lips find mine, sliding, moving, devouring me until I’m panting for breath. He stills and gentles his fury.

I pull away. I reach up and cradle his perfect face in my hands. I shake my head. “Don’t do that, Jaxon. Don’t hold back. I want the fire. I want to burn in a fiery blast of your passion. I want every bit of you. I want your heart, your body, your furiously wonderful soul. I want to feel again. I want to feel your love. Not the watered-down version, the one that wants to break me, rebuild me with your passion.

His eyes are troubled and his forehead creases. “I’m afraid I’ll hurt you. I’ll scare you,” he whispers and I smile gently.

“You keep telling me I’m stronger than I know. I am. I’m a freaking superwoman. Or am I just a woman who wants a man, who trusts him with her body and her heart?

“Fuck,” he breathes out. “I don’t deserve you, baby.”

“Let’s wait fifty years and see how you feel then?” He chuckles but then his lips tighten and lust burns in his eyes.

His lips find mine again and this time they’re demanding. His kiss takes me apart and his hands slip down my curves, sliding over the puckered scars. His tongue dances with mine and the tension builds until I feel as taut as a bow string.

His lips slide down my neck, reaching my breasts where he takes one in each hand and caresses them like they’re the finest jewels. His head drops and he draws one diamond hard nipple into his warm, wet mouth. I moan and reach a hand up and thread it through his dark hair pulling at the silky strands while he moans into my skin. I shudder and groan. “Jaxon, don’t you feel like you’re a little over-dressed?” He hasn’t even removed his shirt. He smirks but stands at the side of the bed and reaches back to pull his shirt off. My core clenches when I see his well-defined chest and eight-pack abs leading down to the v that makes all women weak. And the trail of light hair that disappears into his tight jeans. The happy trail. Damn! That definitely makes me happy but I want to see more. As if he knows what I’m thinking, he unzips his jeans and pulls them slowly down his slim hips and muscular thighs until all he’s left in is his tight boxer briefs. Briefs that outline his cock and it’s huge!

“Ummm. You look pretty big, Jaxon. Maybe you won’t fit,” I stutter nervously. His big hand reaches to my cheek.

“Trust me, it will fit but if you’ve changed your mind…?” His wondrous eyes stare into mine, looking for any fear.

I shake my head and my hair flies. “Nope! I want you, Jax. Lose the boxers.” My voice is strong even though my body feels weak.

He slides them down his legs and my eyes widen and fly to his face. “You’re so big, Jax!”

He grins sheepishly, flushing. “It’s all for you, baby.”

I tighten my resolve and smile seductively. “Then what are you waiting for. Make love to me, Jax.”

He crawls back over top of me and my hands slide over his warm, hard body. He sucks in a breath and groans, stomach pulling in tight at my touch. He’s so smooth and strong it takes my breath away. My hands trail over his defined pecs and rippling abs.

“Shit, you’re the perfect woman, Ruby. Perfect for me. It’s like you were made for my hands.” His hands grasp, tug and pull at my rosy-red nipples but he doesn’t knead my scars. Instead his lips glide across the angry puckering skin and he kisses them softly. “So beautiful,” he whispers.

Tears gather in my eyes and it takes everything in me not to break down. This, strong, handsome, sexy as hell man, looks at me like I’m a goddess. Not even a flawed goddess. A perfect rendition of beauty. His eyes glow as they adore me, his lips glide over my imperfections as if they’re the most seductive, sexy body parts he’s ever seen. It’s life-affirming and heart-breaking at the same time. It’s too much and not enough. It’s more than I think I’m worth but it’s not something that I’m ever willing to walk away from.

His large palm cups my mound and his thick fingers strum my pussy and clit like he’s a maestro. His thumb flicks my clit and then circles it, drawing a breathy moan. My legs are shaking and my body feels like I’m being buffeted by stormy seas. Out of control and full of energy, of desire. Of a love that I swore I’d never even look for, let alone find.

“Jaxon, please,” I beg him, loving the smirk he gives me.

“Please what?” he mutters. His eyes are focused on me, a predator waiting to devour its prey.

“Fuck me, Jaxon. Make me yours.”

“Absolutely,” he growls and lines his cock up with my hungry pussy. He slides in slowly, one inch at a time, eyes focused on my face, alert to every sigh, moan and shudder.

“Shit, Jaxon. I can’t believe how good you feel.” I can feel his thick rod stretching my walls, pushing deeper carefully.

“That’s not the end of this, baby. This is just the beginning. I intend to fall asleep curled around you every night and bury my dick in your tight little pussy every day.”

Shivers of ever-expanding, tightening desire are racing through my body and I can feel a flush of heat staining my cheeks as I scrape and scratch at his broad rippling back muscles with my fingernails.

He pushes in deeper until his hips are rocking into mine. Grunts and moans fill the room as he thrusts harder and faster. His finger finds my clit and taps and circles my little bundle of nerves while his thrusts rock me higher into the bed until his hand slides behind my head to keep my head from hitting the headboard.

The heat in my core feels like an inferno. His cock finds all the places that are fueling the ripples of desire raging through me. Those ripples become stronger and then he thrusts so hard that I see stars and scream as the inferno consumes me and I become a shivering, whimpering mass of raw nerve endings and a pleasure that rushes over me like a tidal wave.

My legs wraps around him tighter and I can feel my pussy tighten as the ripples roll over me. A burst of epic need so strong that I can’t even put it into words warms my heart.

“Dammit, Jaxon. Why do you have to be so good at that?” I don’t know why I’m complaining but I feel weightless and satiated. But greedy for more. “Harder, Jax. Harder,” I grunt.

“Fuck, I’m so happy that I waited for you, baby. Nobody could feel like you do. You’re fucking perfect!” he grits out between clenched teeth and my heart contracts in my chest. Is he saying what I think he’s saying?

∞∞∞

Jaxon:

What the fuck did I just say? Well, she would find out eventually but maybe not right in the middle of our first time.

Her palm cups my cheek and her eyes are firm on mine. “Jaxon, are you…?”

I don’t let her finish I just nod. Her smile grows until she’s smiling so wide, it almost hurts to look at her. She’s glowing and flushed and her eyes. Fuck, her eyes are the most emerald I’ve ever seen them. Dark and flashing with desire.

“I love you,” she says and my heart stutters as I pause. I lean down to kiss her, moving my lips gently on hers, trying to put all my emotions into that kiss. Lust, hunger, love, acceptance and so much more. She returns it, her lips sliding, her tongue seeking mine, sliding along mine and wrapping around. It’s a dance. A dance of desire and passion that I never want to end.

My hips begin pumping into her, harder and slower. Deep, until I swear I can feel every inch of her rippling tunnel. After every hard thrust I pull back slowly, loathe to leave her body and then push back in quicker, eager to return. Her hips begin pushing up into me and her whimpers and sighs become louder. Her nails claw at my back again and it’s almost more than I can take but I can’t lose it yet. I want so much more time. So much more of her.

“I never want to leave you,” I grunt, pushing into her so hard that I feel her begin to quiver again.

“Don’t,” she whimpers. “Promise me you’ll never leave me.” Her voice is husky and sweet. Her perfume wraps around me. Not a scent you buy in a store. Her scent. A soft, sensuous, spicy fragrance that is just her. My lips glide down and take her nipple in my mouth again. I groan against her. She claws at me and loses herself again. The ripples pull at my dick and that’s too much for my fading self-control. My hips stutter and then I groan loudly as I pump her body full of my seed. My head drops into her shoulder and she cradles me as I lose myself in her body’s rippling, juicy heat.

“Ruby,” I groan and catch myself before I crush her, rolling to my side, gasping into her shoulder.

“Shit, you’re really good at that for a virgin, Jax.”

I raise my head in wonder to find her eyes twinkling at me. “Are you making virgin jokes right now?”

She giggles and that sound is like music to my ears. I grin and kiss her softly. “Are you alright?” I ask her. My eyes bore into hers, looking for any sign that she’s uncomfortable, unhappy.

She shakes her head and those silky, fiery strands slide across my bare skin. I wrap my fist in them and shudder.

“God, you’re so damn beautiful,” I breathe out, glorying in her.

“You really think so?” She’s still so unsure. I run my hands up and down her lush curves, cupping every lovely inch of her.

“I know so,” I tell her, my voice firm. “Wait a minute, did you tell me you love me? In the middle of sex? For the first damn time,” I grump.

“When should I tell you?” Her rosy lips pout at me.

“Now. Right now and for the rest of our lives.” My lips catch hers and my hand fists her hair, tilting her head to the perfect angle to devour her.

She smiles breathlessly when I lift my mouth. “I love you, Jax. I didn’t think I could ever feel the way I feel for you. You are the most gorgeous man I’ve ever met and the fact that you want me when I’m …”

I shake my head. “Uh-uh. You don’t get to run yourself down anymore. And you need to fire that agent. She’s in your head and it sounds like she doesn’t treat you right. I’d hate to have to slap a woman but if she says something nasty in front of me, I’m going to. You are the most, precious thing in this world to me. The most perfect woman I’ve ever met, so sweet, so loving and way more than I deserve and I’m going to spend my life proving it to you. I want to make love to you every night, cuddle with you sleeping in my arms, and have children with you.” My hand cups her rounded belly and I can’t wait to see her stomach rounded with our child.

She pales and pulls away from me.

“Ruby?” I ask softly, afraid I’ve pushed her too hard.

Her eyes won’t meet mine and my gut clenches.

“There’s something else, Jax. I didn’t want to tell you. I don’t…” she pauses and she’s shaking again and whatever this is, it’s what keeps her pain fresh. “I can’t have children, Jax. I had internal bleeding from…well, let’s just say he wasn’t gentle. They saved me but I can never have children.” Tears streak down her pale cheeks and I can’t bear to see her cry. My heart rips out of my chest at her pain.

I lift her chin and her emerald eyes swim with pain. I sigh. “Baby, that doesn’t matter to me. All I need in this world is you and nothing’s going to change that. If we want to at some point we’ll adopt. But it doesn’t matter to me. You’re everything to me and that’s all I need.”

Tears are streaming down her face and I wipe them away. She hiccups and cuddles into me. “You’re sure.”

I tighten my arms around her, amazed that this strong, gentle survivor wants me. “I’m a lucky bastard. What’s to be sure about?”

She lets loose with a watery chuckle and I grin. “Besides that just means I can focus all my love and attention on you.”

She grimaces. “You’re going to smother me aren’t you?”

“I am indeed.” I kiss her smooth shoulder.

“I love you, Jax.” She whispers it in my ear.

“I love you too, baby. Forever.” I pull her close and rest, content for the first time in my life. Love wells up in my chest, so strong it almost takes my breath away. This woman. She’s my whole world. I am definitely the luckiest bastard on this planet.