Chapter 15

Rachel gripped the doorknob, her knuckles turning white, and began to swing the heavy wooden door shut. But before the bolt could slide into place, a steel-toed boot jammed between the frame and the door.

Jaxon.

Her heart leapt into her throat as the door burst open with a bang that rattled the windows.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he growled, crowding into her space.

Rachel stumbled back, panic rising in her chest. She searched his face—the sharp cut of his jaw, the piercing blue eyes that seemed to see straight through to her soul—but found no warmth there now. Only a storm brewing.

“I—I was just—”

“You were just going to lock me out?” Each word was clipped, biting. “After everything we’ve been through, you were gonna shut me out like I’m nothing to you?”

“No, of course not, I just—”

“Do you have any idea what I risked to get here? What I sacrificed?” He slammed a fist against the wall, the crack of it like a gunshot in the silence. “Dammit, Rachel.”

Rachel flinched at the outburst, instinctively raising her arms to shield herself. She knew he would never hurt her, not physically, but in that moment her body remembered a different time, a different place. A past that still haunted her dreams.

Jaxon’s face crumpled. “Shit. I’m sorry.” He ran a hand through his hair, looking away. “I didn’t mean to scare you. You just—you drive me crazy, you know that?”

When he finally met her gaze again, the fury had vanished, leaving something else in its wake. Something fragile and broken that made her chest ache.

Rachel took a tentative step forward, then another, until she could reach out and take his hand. She gave it a gentle squeeze. “I’m sorry too. I should have known you would never—” Her voice caught in her throat. “I trust you, Jaxon. I do. My head’s just taking a while to catch up with my heart.”

Jaxon’s eyes darkened, flickering to her lips. He pulled her closer, his hands settling on her waist in a possessive grip. Even through her shirt, his touch seared her skin.

“You can’t do that again,” he said. “Scare me like that. I thought I was going to lose you.”

Rachel’s breath hitched as he dipped his head, nuzzling against her neck. She could feel the warmth of his breath, the brush of stubble against her throat. Her pulse raced under his lips.

“I’m right here,” she whispered. She slid her arms around his shoulders, anchoring him to her.

He shuddered against her, his embrace tightening. The raw emotion in it made her eyes sting. How had this man broken through her defenses so easily? Stripped away the layers of armor she’d built up over years?

“I couldn’t handle it if something happened to you,” Jaxon said. “You’re the best thing that’s ever been mine. The only good thing.”

Rachel closed her eyes, a tear sliding down her cheek. She thought of the tattoos on his back, the secrets they held, the grief and guilt he carried with him always.

Her fingers curled into his hair as she held him close. “You have me,” she said. “For as long as you want me. As long as you’ll let me stay.”

Jaxon pulled back to look at her, his eyes glassy with tears. Rachel’s heart clenched at the sight. She reached up to cup his cheek, brushing her thumb over the rough stubble.

“Talk to me,” she said. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

He swallowed hard, struggling to compose himself. “You can’t do that again,” he repeated hoarsely. “Put yourself in danger like that. I can’t lose you too.”

Too. The word echoed in Rachel’s mind, realization dawning. She thought of the angel wings on his back, the secrets etched into his skin.

“Who did you lose?” she asked softly.

Jaxon’s jaw tightened. His hands curled into fists at his sides for a moment before he turned away, shoulders hunching. Rachel waited patiently, giving him the space to gather himself.

When he finally spoke, his voice was raw with pain. “My sister. She was killed five years ago.” He paused, drawing a shaky breath. “It was my fault. I was supposed to protect her, but I failed.”

Rachel’s heart broke at the anguish in his tone. She moved to stand beside him, slipping her arm through his and leaning her head against his shoulder.

“I’m so sorry,” she said gently.

Jaxon’s hand came up to cover hers, his grip almost bruising. But she didn’t pull away. She only held on tighter, offering what little comfort she could.

They stood in silence for a long moment, the only sound their mingled breaths. A profound sadness filled the space between them, tinged by the ghosts of loss and regret. But beneath it all was a fragile tendril of hope-the promise of solace in shared grief, of healing in the light they had found in each other.

Jaxon swallowed hard, staring unseeingly ahead. “Her name was Sophia. There was a fight over territory with the Wolverines that got out of hand. Sophie...she jumped in to defend me. Took a bullet meant for me.”

His voice broke on the last word. Rachel felt her own eyes burn with tears at the image he painted. She couldn’t imagine the pain of losing a sibling that way, or the guilt that must have haunted him ever since.

“I’m the reason she’s not here anymore. If I hadn’t gotten her involved in this life...” He trailed off with a ragged sigh.

“You can’t blame yourself,” Rachel said. She turned to face him, gripping his arms. “You didn’t pull the trigger. You loved your sister, and she loved you. That’s why she did what she did--to protect you. Not because of the life you led, but because of who you were to each other.”

Jaxon stared at her for a long moment, eyes shadowed. “Can’t I?” His eyes flashed, anger and grief twisting his features.

But she could see the first glimmers of hope peeking through, the beginnings of absolution in her words. He drew a shaky breath and pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her in a bone-crushing embrace.

Rachel held him just as tightly, a pillar of strength against the tide of anguish and regret. She understood now the meaning behind the angel wings, a memorial to the sister he had lost and a reminder of the sacrifice borne of love.

“Thank you,” he whispered, lips brushing her hair. She smiled, nestling closer to his chest.

“You don’t have to walk this path alone anymore,” she said. “I’m here.”

Jaxon’s arms tightened around her, and she could feel the subtle tremor that ran through him. The first cracks in the walls he had built, giving way to the light that streamed between them—a light to guide him out of the darkness, and lead them both home.

“After she died, I swore I’d dismantle the Wolverines, piece by bloody piece. But taking revenge wouldn’t bring her back. Nothing would.” His voice cracked on the last word.

Rachel stroked his cheek, her heart aching for his loss. “You loved her so much,” she said. “Of course, her death left a hole inside you. But she wouldn’t want you to destroy yourself over it, Jaxon. She’d want you to heal. To find peace.”

Jaxon was silent for a long moment. Then he gazed at Rachel with eyes full of wonder, as if seeing her for the first time. “How did you get to be so wise?”

Rachel smiled. “I’m not wise. I just know a thing or two about loss.” Her smile faded. “And about holding onto pain for too long. It’s like a poison - the only way to survive is to let it go, before it destroys you.”

Jaxon nodded. “I spent years telling myself I didn’t deserve to move on. That the only way to honor my sister’s memory was to stay mired in the past, crippled by guilt and regret.” His voice dropped. “Until I met you, and for the first time, I saw a future worth living for.”

Rachel’s heart swelled. She reached up and cradled Jaxon’s face in her hands. “The past can’t be changed,” she said. “But the future is ours to write. Together.”

Jaxon covered her hands with his own eyes shining with promise. “Together,” he echoed. And sealed it with a kiss.

Jaxon pulled back to look at her, eyes shining with emotion. “I don’t deserve you, Rachel. The things I’ve done...”

She reached up and cupped his face between her hands. “The past is behind us. All that matters now is the future we’re building together.”

He turned his head to press a kiss to her palm, the rough scrape of his beard igniting sparks along her skin. “You’re my light in the darkness. My angel.”

Rachel smiled, brushing her thumbs over his cheekbones. “And you’re mine. My fierce, beautiful man.”

Jaxon’s eyes darkened, pupils dilating with desire. He lowered his head and captured her mouth in a searing kiss, all heat and passion and tender reverence. Rachel melted into him, her heart overflowing with love for this complicated, wounded soul.

“I have a confession to make, too. The car accident that killed my mother...” Her voice trailed off, and she looked away.

“It’s okay,” Jaxon said gently. “You can tell me.”

Rachel met his gaze. “My parents were fighting because my father was drunk. He crashed the car on purpose, to spite my mother. And she died, just like that.”

A tear rolled down Rachel’s cheek. “Since then, I hated him for it. But holding onto that hate only made me miserable. I finally realized the only way to move on was to forgive him. Even though he doesn’t deserve it.”

Jaxon pulled Rachel close, cradling her head against his chest. “You’re amazing, you know that? You’ve been through hell, but you still have so much love and compassion in you.” He pressed a soft kiss to her hair. “Loving you is making me want to be a better man.”

Rachel smiled through her tears. “You already are a good man, Jaxon Jones. The best I’ve ever known.”