Chapter Twenty-Three

Jasper has officially ruined me for any other man. Good thing, since he"s my husband for life.

"Are you okay?" he asks quietly as we lie next to each other.

"Yeah, I think it"s just hitting me." I try to put into words how heavy these last few hours between us have been. "I"ve never had unprotected sex before, and it"s never been for the express purpose of having a baby." My throat tightens as I say the words. "Not that I didn"t want to do it, just because." I smile over at him brightly. "I always want to be with you..."

"No." He props himself up on his elbow. "I get it. We got married for a reason, and one of those reasons is to have an heir for the Hamilton legacy. But it doesn't take away from what we've just done." His finger trails down my chest, hooking in the sheet covering my nakedness. "In fact, I plan to enjoy doing this with you all the damn time, for no other reason than I want to be with you."

My heart soars. "I"m not against that at all."

His phone buzzes over on the nightstand. Moaning, he reaches over, palming it, and takes a look. "Do you want to go to Boone"s for family dinner on Sunday? It"s them wondering if we"re going to be there."

"I"ve never been," I admit. "What if they don"t like me."

He snorts. "They all know you, and two of your three BFFs will be there. It"s a good time, and I don"t know about you, but I am absolutely starving, right now."

Now that he mentions it, my stomach growls loudly between us. He laughs, and my face heats with embarrassment. "Yeah, I think I need some food. Let's go get something."

"Then we better get up and get dressed. Can't have you either one of us starving."

I get up, unused to the wetness between my thighs. "I"ll be right back."

When I get in the bathroom, I have a seat and have to take a few deep breaths. Everything that"s happened here today is everything I"ve wanted, and I"m slightly overwhelmed. Tears spring to my eyes as I have a realization that if we"re lucky, this will fulfill one requirement of Jasper"s grandfather"s will. Not just that, but a dream of mine I haven"t allowed myself to hope for. Back when we were dating previously, I thought about us being parents. I"d thought about how we would be. I"d be the one who offered the love and understanding, Jasper would offer the hard lessons and discipline, but our kid or kids would forever know that they were loved.

I gave up on that dream when we broke up. Right about the time he walked away from me, and I haven"t thought about it since. Not even when he asked me to marry him. Until last night, before he entered me and reminded us both of what that meant, I don"t think it had fully hit me. Right now it has. Reaching down, I cradle my stomach in my palm. Could it only have taken once?

"Daisy Mae, are you okay?" His voice is soft and warm on the other side of the door.

"Yeah, be out in a sec."

Because I"ve been sitting in here so long, he"s got to be wondering if I"m having second thoughts. I quickly get done and walk out. He"s sitting on the bed, the sheet pulled up around his waist. "Hey." He smiles so wide I can see the dimples in his cheeks.

"Hey," I answer back, suddenly embarrassed. "Sorry I took so long in there."

"Were you spiraling?" He pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, tilting his head to the side.

"Maybe. I don"t mean to."

"It"s understandable." He reaches out his arms to me, circling me in them. He bends my head so that our foreheads are touching. "This is all pretty heavy and it"s happening fast. I don"t think either of us realized how much we"ve dealt with in the past month."

"You"re right, and I"m not really used to you being the voice of reason, yet here you are." I give him a little smile.

"What do you say we go grab something at Let"s Taco Bout It, and then go get dessert at Get Baked?" he questions, the stubble on his face rasping against mine slightly.

We haven"t gone out much together. "You mean you want to be seen with me?"

"I wanna paint the fuckin" town red with you." His voice dips down lower, seductive, a tone just for us. "The same red these nipples are." Calloused palms cup them. I close my eyes, savoring the touch. "Are you good with that?"

"I"m great with it." This is all so much more than I expected, but in a good way.

"Let"s get dressed and head out. I"m starving."

In answer, my stomach growls. Wordlessly, but sneaking glances with barely suppressed smiles, we get dressed. I go to the closet to see what I want to wear over the t-shirt I"ve put on. It"s chilly, but not cold enough for my big jacket. "How cold do you think it is?"

He turns from where he"s putting a hoodie on over his body. "One of these should be okay." He pinches a piece of the fabric between his fingers, pulling it away from his body.

I frown. "Too bad I don"t have one unpacked yet. I"m afraid if I wear my big jacket I"m gonna be too hot. If I go out in this, I"ll be cold."

Without saying anything, he reaches into his drawer and pulls out another hoodie, before tossing it my way. "Here, wear this."

My heart stumbles to catch up to the reaction in my stomach. It"s bouncing with excitement as if on the balls of it"s on feet. "Are you sure? You don"t allow other people to mess with your things." I once tried to wear his jacket in college, and he"d scowled.

"That was before I realized you aren"t just other people." His voice is low.

My chest tightens as I think about the kid he was. "What"s changed?"

"Seeing you every day. Realizing you're my home." He plays with the strings on his hoodie. "You consistently being here. Knowing I have a future with you. It"s opened up a part of myself I didn"t realize I had closed off."

I snort, giggling as I roll my eyes heavenward. "You didn"t realize you were closed off? Are you feeding me a line of shit?"

"No, I swear." He holds up his hands in front of him. "I knew I didn"t share things with others easily, but the more I"ve looked around at people and their relationships - even the last few months before we got married - I realized I was holding back. It"s been a conscious decision to try and be more present, which is the only reason I was able to come to you and ask for help."

I"m amazed at everything I"m hearing, and looking up in his eyes, I see the truth there. At some point, he started doing work on himself. Maybe I didn"t notice it, and neither did he, but somehow this beautifully complicated man is meeting me halfway. I put the hoodie on over my shirt before throwing myself at him. He catches me, making a noise in the back of his throat. "I love you, Jasper, and I know you probably can"t say it. There"s a lot of baggage that comes with those words for you. Just know I don"t need the words. You show me every day. In the way you do things like this." I indicate the hoodie.

He pulls me into his arms, cradling the back of my head in his palm. "I care about you so much it hurts," he whispers.

"I know," I whisper back. "And that"s good enough for me."

* * *

"Look at that line."

We"re used to Let"s Taco Bout It having fans, but we"re usually able to get food from Kara and not having to wait at the food truck. Lately though, they"ve gotten more popular, especially with the way their social media has blown up. But this? This is super exciting. The better she"s known, the more it helps the town.

"Hey!" Gabby is behind us, and her excited voice makes me smile.

"Hey." I reach out, hugging her tightly. "What"s going on?"

"Just dropping off some new desserts for Kara. Didn"t realize how big this line would be." She laughs. "Good for me, though. When she has days like this she sells out of dessert, which is a plus."

"What are you bringing today?" I ask, but Gabby"s gaze is elsewhere. I follow where she"s looking, and there"s Barrett.

He"s walking toward us, holding his hand out for Jasper to shake. He gives me and Gabby a nod, but it"s cursory at best, before turning his back to the two of us. Her face falls. With my gaze, I"m trying to ask what the fuck has happened between the two of them.

She clears her throat. "Some chess squares, fudge brownies, and everything but the kitchen sink cookies." The tears she"s blinking back break my heart, because I"ve been where she is. "He"s pissed at me," she whispers. "I can"t explain it right now, but it"s not great."

I want to ask her all the questions, but it"s obvious with the line moving now isn"t the time. "Wanna have lunch with us?" I reach back, grabbing Jasper"s hand in mine. "We were going to go get dessert at Get Baked, but since you brought it here, we can eat under the pavilion." It"s the newest addition to Kara"s growing empire on the spot where she"s had her main food truck since she opened.

"Okay. If that"s good with you all."

Jasper gives me a smile, and in a low voice he"s saying the same thing to Barrett, even though we eat with him more often than we should. The line is moving quicker than I assumed it would, and suddenly we"re already up to place our order.

Kara grins down at us. "I"m so glad y"all are here. I wish I could eat with you, but it"s insane around here today. Mav, whatever they want is on the house."

We all try to argue with her, but it"s no good. She does what she wants. Gabby looks over at Barrett, and he"s covertly gazing back. I wish I knew what happened between the two of them, but if there"s anything I"ve realized from my time feuding with Jasper? It"s that not everything makes sense, and all"s fair when love is involved.