CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Giorgio woke up the next morning with a smile on his face. He hadn't felt that light in years. It was as if she showed up and his burdens lifted. He felt that same way nearly a decade ago when he first laid eyes on her. She knew how to ease his troubles. She knew how to care for him just by being by his side. It was so unlike him that even he was startled. To think that he could be so enamored with a woman that she could change a heart he didn't even think he had just a day ago was unthinkable to him.

But as he looked upon her as she slept, that was exactly how he felt. She looked so unbothered and innocent and sweet that it made him want to weep. He had her nine years ago. Had her right in the palm of his hand. All he had to do was convince her that he was worth having too. All he had to do was work for it. But he wouldn't. He didn't think she was worth the work. He didn't think any woman was worth the work.

How wrong he was.

He pulled her into his arms once again, and he held her tightly. He loved that she slept so peacefully, even after he touched her. As if she was totally secure being with him. He fell asleep holding her. He fell asleep feeling, for the first time in as long as he could remember, as if like was more than hustle and money and power. Like there was still such a thing called hope. And happiness. And even love.

When he woke up, later that morning, he still felt that way. But she was no longer in his arms. When he turned over, he realized she was no longer in his bed or his bedroom either. Her pajamas that he had removed the night before were still entangled in the sheets. But she was gone.

Beating back a sense of dread that he may have had those deep feelings for her, but the feelings weren't mutual, he got out of bed, put on his bathrobe, and made his way across the landing to that broom closet of a room she had been assigned. The bed was made up. Her clothes were still in the closet thank God. But she wasn't there. He hurried downstairs.

When he got downstairs and saw her sitting on the sofa, he immediately stopped in his tracks and leaned against the stair rail to regain control of his hammering heart. He thought she had abandoned him. He thought she had bailed on him. But there she was, dressed in a pair of blue jeans, a tucked-in sleeveless white blouse, and a pair of brandless tennis shoes. Her hair was neat and tidy, but in a ponytail: not big and brilliant the way she used to wear it. Everything about her was clean and crisp and with a simplicity that his well-trained eye viewed as pure elegance. She looked as sweet as a breath of fresh air. Just seeing her again gave him a lift. She hadn't abandoned him at all. She was still home!

But that worried look on her face wasn't lost on him.

He walked down the stairs and up to her. "What's wrong?" he asked her.

Vivian was so nervous that she didn't hear him walk up. "I'm waiting for my instructions," she said.

Giorgio frowned. "What instructions?"

"Mrs. Kapec . . .Your secretary said she'd give me a list of rooms to clean until I was able to get more familiar with the layout."

Giorgio realized that a lot of her conversation puzzled him. "A list of rooms? And what layout? What are you talking about, Vivian?"

But Vivian thought she was crystal clear. "When she arrives, she's going to show me which rooms to clean inside your house."

Giorgio frowned. "You are not cleaning my house! I pay housekeepers for that."

Now it was Vivian's time to be puzzled. Had the fact that they slept together again caused him to want to get rid of her? To fire her? "But that's why I'm here. That's the reason I was hired. To be your housekeeper."

But Giorgio wasn't about to have her as his maid. Didn't she realize that? Or was he the only one who knew that their relationship had dramatically changed?

Vivian felt that something had changed between them when they were together last night, but it wasn't as definable to her as it was to him. Because the dynamics hadn't changed. She still was his employee. She knew it wasn't wise sleeping with her employer, in fact it was dumb as fuck, but they already had that history. It was always going to be awkward in that respect, she knew that going in. But the way he was staring at her, without responding to her, didn't help.

She remembered how he used to stare at her constantly the first time they met. And now he was doing it again? It felt as if he was still trying to size her up. As if, in his eyes, she wasn't as she was presenting herself to be. As if she was a fraud. "Are you saying I don't have a job anymore? Is that what you're telling me?"

How could she reach that conclusion, Giorgio wondered. That wasn't it at all. " No. It's not about . . ." He decided to go there. He sat on the sofa beside her. "I feel good today," he confided in her. "Better than I've felt in months."

"You haven't been feeling well?"

"No."

"Why? What was wrong?"

Giorgio didn't want to recall that nightmare, but if they were going to make a go of it, and he was determined to give it a shot, then she had a right to know what kind of man she was going to get. "A year ago, I asked a young lady by the name of Penelope to marry me."

Vivian was shocked. She even turned quickly and looked at him. She didn't even think to ask if he was attached to somebody! "You're engaged?"

"Not anymore. No. But I was engaged seven months ago when I met another woman, Effie, at a breakfast. We ended up, in bed, in her hotel room."

Vivian stared at him. A cheater? For some crazy reason she never saw him as a cheater. But then again she never saw him as the marrying type either, even though she knew he had an ex-wife. But he'd recently asked another woman to marry him. And he was admitting to cheating on her. She realized in that instant that she didn't know him at all.

"She was a model, a very successful model," he kept talking, "and she found out that I had left the breakfast with Effie. So she and her agent decided to pay us a visit. She bribed a maid to get into the room, and she caught us in the act."

Vivian didn't like where this was heading. "What did she do?"

Giorgio let out a harsh exhale. "She shot and killed Effie. Then shot and killed herself."

Vivian was floored. She could only stare at Giorgio. She didn't know what to say to that!

Giorgio frowned. "I've done a lot of terrible things in my life, Vivian. I have not been an honorable man." Then he looked at her. "But just by seeing you again, and having you in my life again, makes me want to change. It makes me want to become a better man."

Vivian was touched by those words. But she couldn't just brush aside that load he just laid on her. Because it went to the very core of what she never wanted in a man ever again. She was done with cheaters. "But why would you cheat on your fiancée?"

"It was supposed to be an open relationship. And was supposed to remain that way even after we were married. But she was in love with me."

Vivian frowned. "Of course she was in love with you. Who accepts a proposal of marriage without being in love? You loved her too. Didn't you?"

Giorgio couldn't lie to her. "No. Not at all."

Now Vivian was truly baffled. "If you didn't love her why did you ask her to marry you?"

Giorgio steeled himself. "Because she was pregnant with my child."

Vivian was stupefied. Because she knew what that meant. "She was pregnant?"

Giorgio nodded his head.

"When she killed herself, are you saying your child was also. . .?

Giorgio wanted to close his eyes so that he did not have to relive that moment again, but he didn't. He faced it like a man. "The unborn baby died too, yes."

And Vivian's entire demeanor changed. Her heart felt his pain. "Oh Giorgio!" she said and threw her arms around him. "I am so sorry!"

Giorgio pulled her into his arms too. Because she did ease an ache that had been tearing him apart ever since it happened. "My father abandoned me when I was a kid. I never wanted that to ever happen to any child of mine. That's why I agreed to marry Pen. But my child was ripped from me anyway."

Vivian realized the connection, and she leaned back from him. "Just like your ex-wife had taken your son from you, if he survived, and ran away."

Giorgio nodded."Yes."

"You still haven't found him either?"

Giorgio shook his head. "No. Just more dead ends. I guess I'm just not meant to be a father," he said with a weak smile on his face.

But Vivian knew it was no funny matter. The pain just seared through the smile. She hugged him again.

And then they just sat there, side by side. He had taken her hand and held it. And then he finished the story. "So I retreated to my house here in White Plains with every intention of just rotting my life away. My friends thought I would have snapped out of it by now. And so did I. But I couldn't." Then he looked at Vivian. "Until you showed up."

Vivian was surprised to hear him say that. "Me?"

"Yes you. You gave me a boost, Vivian. You've given me a desire again. A sense of meaning again. Thank you."

Vivian didn't know how to take all of that in. She didn't know how she could have given him a boost, but she was glad she did.

"Now that I feel alive again," Giorgio said, "what do you suppose I do with all of this newfound energy?"

"You had a fall. You blamed yourself. It wasn't your fault that she killed that lady and then killed herself and her own unborn child. That wasn't your fault at all. But it was your fault that you cheated on her."

Giorgio nodded. She was also his voice of moral authority. "Right."

But the fact that he was a cheater still bothered her. It bothered her mightily. And the fact that his cheating led to so much carnage bothered her too. But he thought the relationship his fiancée had decided to make a closed relationship was still open. And he behaved as if it was still open. It wasn't an excuse. She'd never excuse a cheater ever again. But that was how he supposedly saw it.

"So what do you recommend I do from here on out?" Giorgio asked her.

"I suggest you get back on that horse," she said, "and ride the hell out of it."

Giorgio smiled, and then he laughed. "That's exactly what I'm going to do," he said as he began standing up. "Starting with you," he added as he reached out his hand to her.

She took it and stood up, too, although she didn't understand. "Starting with me?"

He began walking toward the stairs still holding her hand. "I want you to get in the shower with me."

"But I already took my bath."

"Who said anything about bathing?" Giorgio asked, as he glanced over at her.

When Vivian realized what he was after, she managed to smile. She still had her lingering doubts. Serious doubts. But she just couldn't judge him too harshly. She felt too safe with him. She felt at home with him. She gladly followed where he led.

He led her to the master bathroom shower. And he was right. They showered together. But it was more of a banging than a bathing.