Chapter 5

Jaime

U gh…I honestly don't know what's going on. Up until the night of the stupid Heart Ball, everything with Bryan was going so well. Slow, but good.

Now, I can't get more than a ‘sorry I was busy with work' or a ‘sorry I was sleeping' response via text whenever I call or text. I haven't heard his voice in two weeks and I'm miserable.

I don't know if it's just something at work bothering him that he doesn't think I can handle or doesn't want me to know about, or what is going on with him, but it hurts that he's shutting me out. I thought we had a good time dancing even if he was working.

After the first few days of silence after it, I texted him again to make sure he knew I wasn't mad or angry that he couldn't take me home. I was a little upset that he hadn't stopped by for at least two seconds to tell me in person, and his response that he'd seen me dancing with someone and he didn't want to interrupt didn't make a lot of sense at first. Other than him, the only people I even danced with were business associates of the family business I'd known forever, who are well known around town, or family members.

It was when I realized that Chase hadn't gotten there until just before the end of the night that I wondered if perhaps he wasn't a bit jealous to see me with him. I mean, Chase is about a year older than him and handsome sure, but he's also my cousin—my Uncle Aaron's son who's been living out of town since he left for college nineteen years ago. We see him on holidays at most usually, but he was excited to tell all of us that he'd taken a new job and was coming back to town. When he said it was with Brannigan where I work, I was elated.

I texted him back that I was with family, and they wouldn't have minded, but he just said he was sorry once more and that there hadn't been enough time as well. Since then, he's simply grown more distant, and I don't know what to do.

"Hey, you look about as grumpy as Jeffery on a good day," Jillian says joining me on the couch.

I should be excited. It's the March mandatory dinner tonight. A little early in the month but the rest of it Jasmine will be busy with our spring event for the foundation. Since both Daisy and Faye are too little to really remember it, and they're the only March babies, she was fine with having it this early, but this thing with Bryan is wearing me down.

"What's wrong? Missing Bryan that much with him working the night shift?"

"I could handle it if that's all it was, but he's been distant, not even texting me back other than little ‘sorry' messages. He won't answer when I call, and I mean, I've tried to be considerate of when I try and call even so I don't wake him when he's sleeping, but even then he hasn't answered me, and I'll just get a ‘sorry I was' something message in return when I know he's likely just gone on duty. He's on at six and not off until normally six, but I tried calling him yesterday at four and then again today at five and not a peep," I admit making her brow lift in shock.

"And he's been like this since the dance?" she asks, and I nod. "Why didn't you say anything before now? I'd have gone down there and kicked his ass for upsetting you if I'd known."

"I don't need you to protect me from this, Jill. I just…if he's changed his mind about us, I'd rather he just say so, or completely ghost me, not this. It feels like pulling teeth to get him to respond at all and that's not what I want. I don't want him to feel forced to be with or even talk to me. I just…I really thought he felt what I was feeling you know?" I add and she gives me a big hug that calms more of me than I expected.

"You did say he also hated working traffic investigations though, didn't you?" Jillian asks me a few minutes later as I get myself together to face our family in a bit.

"Yeah, so?"

"So…think of the one part of your job you hate the most and now think how you'd be feeling if you had to do that for two full weeks and nothing else?" Jillian states and I shudder at the mere thought of having to explain the concept of the ideas to a big group more than once a month.

"Alright, now also remember that Bryan is a lot more like you than me. If it were me that was having to do it, I'd just complain and complain and complain, right? Well, you've been dealing with this thing with Bryan for the last two weeks by yourself without a single word. Wouldn't think of bringing it to even me, your most favorite sister in the entire world," she adds making me laugh despite feeling blue still. "You all had only been seeing each other like a month, five weeks if you count that first dinner. Would you just offer up all of your frustrations and irritations if positions were reversed?"

"No," I admit seeing her point. "When did you get to be so smart, huh?"

"I wouldn't say I was smart, more like I grew up with an introvert, so I'm used to dealing with them, unlike you who's used to dealing with extroverts like me. You're both introverts so you keep more to yourself than you reveal, which means that if you want this to work with him, you'll both probably have to push yourself out of your normal comfort zone at first. When you know each other as well as we know you, then it won't feel uncomfortable, it'll be your new norm. You'll just have to remember that you both will always need to ask questions to make sure there's nothing really deep bothering the other since you keep that stuff to yourself."

"Thanks Jill," I muse, thinking over her words and as I hear footsteps hurrying up the hall, I take out my phone and shoot off a new text to Bryan.

‘Hey, I know you're working tonight so you might not see this until later, but if you need to talk, I'm here. I feel like we haven't talked in weeks, and I probably should have asked or said it before now, but I'm here to listen whenever you need it. I know how hard it can be to share what I'm feeling and if it's the same for you, I hope that we can push past it, because I've never felt like this with anyone before, and I don't want to lose you by thinking I need to give you space but that's not what you really need. If it is what you need, just let me know and I will, but I hope it's not. Be safe and warm out there tonight, and call me when you're ready, please.'

It takes a few tries to get it to say what I'm feeling, when really I want to just tell him I love him and hope he feels the same, and we can figure out everything else from there. I really don't want to drive him away though, so I resist and send the message before going to see my family, soak up some of their love to hopefully dispel the worry flowing through me that I'm losing Bryan.

It's closing in on seven when my phone buzzes with a message and I fight to stop from smiling seeing it's more than just the ‘sorry' type I've gotten lately.

Hi princess. You're not alone in the one not saying things. I hope we can talk soon too. I'm really sorry I didn't answer earlier but I got called in early tonight. I've been on since noon instead of doing the night shift. I won't be off until at least ten but if you're still up then, text me and I'll give you a call if I'm off. If not tonight, then hopefully tomorrow night. The detective I'm covering for should be back then, so I'll be off this relief. I'll do my best to stay warm, it's definitely a cold one out tonight.

It warms my heart and lets me mingle with the others easier as we sit down to eat. Jillian lifts a brow my way and I just smile, making her grin in return, and while I love seeing my family, I will time to move faster to hopefully be able to talk to him tonight.

Just before eight, my phone rings and I'm shocked to see Bryan's name on it. I slip out of the room as everyone is lingering over the dessert pizza Mom made to answer him.

"Hey, is everything okay?" I ask because it's hours earlier than he estimated he'd be free.

"Princess…" His tone puts my heart in my throat preparing for the worst.

"What's wrong, Bryan?" I question when he pauses.

"I really wish I wasn't calling right now, Jaime and that there was an easier way to say this but there's not."

"Say what?" I ask, as dread that he's about to tell me he doesn't want to see me again rolls through my body.

"Tonight's one of your Sunday dinner's, isn't it?" he says instead sending my head reeling.

"Yeah, why?"

"Is your sister Jennie there," he adds and my heart drops into my stomach.

"She and Zack are here," I manage to tell him. "Her husband Troy isn't, but he's out of town until next week sometime. Why?"

"It's Troy Lawson, they live at 1172 Meadow Lane?" he asks.

"Yeah, Bryan, what's going on? What happened? Is there a problem at their house?" I ask, confused since he's been on traffic these last two weeks.

"Not the house…god, I'm sorry, Jaime, there's been an accident—car accident. It's bad, princess," he states, and I blink back the tears that threaten as his tone softens. "I wouldn't have even mentioned any of it over the phone to you if I didn't want to make sure that I was the one to tell your sister. I wasn't sure if she'd be there tonight but thought I'd check before going by their house to tell her."

"It's Mom's mandatory dinner this week."

"I'll be there in about fifteen minutes, princess. I hoped she'd be there so she wouldn't be alone when she finds out," he says and that warms my heart immensely despite the fact that his news is likely to devastate her.

"Do you want me to…"

"No, princess," he says stopping me from offering to pull her aside to let her know. "That's my job. I won't put that burden on you."

"I'm sorry it's on you," I whisper as Mom comes out of the room, her brows furling my way, and I know she can read the look on my face. "I'll see you when you get here."

"It won't be long," he promises, and I hang up, looking to Mom as she comes over to me.

"What's wrong, baby? Who was that?"

"Bryan…he was working and either got called out to a crash or something," I tell her and her brows furl further as she looks up at me. "He called me to see if Jennie was here…"

"Oh no," Mom whispers, and I nod, hugging her tight while I try to stop the tears from falling again. Zack just turned fifteen last month. Troy's been part of the family for almost sixteen years. A friend of Ethan's for even longer than that.

"What's going on, baby girl?" we hear a minute later, and I glance up at Dad as he moves over to us faster than someone else his age might. "Jaime, what's wrong, sweetie? Is it Bryan? Did he upset you? Is that why he hasn't been by lately?"

I slip into his hold, drinking in his hug before shaking my head as Mom slips up to us.

"He's on his way here though, it's work related," Mom adds stopping the slight smile that began to slip onto his lips from forming.

"For what?" he asks, his eyes roaming over my face again for the answer.

"He's been working traffic incidents the last two weeks, covering for the night shift detective who was injured in a wreck."

"Someone you know was hurt in one tonight?" Dad asks and I drag in a deep breath.

"He was looking for Jennie, knew about Mom's dinners and wanted to know if she was here or at home," I answer him.

"Damn it," he curses, hugging me and Mom tightly once more. "He's still coming to tell her even though you know?"

"He said it was his job," I tell him with a nod, and he gives me a light smile although it doesn't reach his eyes.

"He's a good man," Dad says, and I nod again, as he studies my face. "But if he upsets you the way you have been the last two weeks again, he and I are going to have to have a talk."

"Why would you think he upset me and I'm not just miserable that he's been working nights lately?" I ask curiously.

"Because I know you, sweetheart. You and Jackie are my quiet girls, but when you're upset or hurting, it shows in your eyes. So whatever it was, he better fix it, or I'll fix him," Dad warns, and it pulls a little chuckle from me as I smile for real. Maybe not as bright as it might have been before learning the reason Bryan's on his way here, but it's still real.

"Right now, I'm going to go in and sit with your sister. I won't tell her, but I won't let her learn this without her momma with her," Mom says, and Dad gives her a tight hug, letting her head into the room.

Dad and I stay in the hall until we see the car come up the drive, and I meet Bryan at the door, nearly losing it when he wraps me up in a tight hug. He's wearing a police jacket that reflects light and all I can think is that I'm so glad nothing happened to him out there tonight.

"I've missed you, princess," Bryan whispers against my ear and I cling tighter to him for another moment.

"I've missed you too," I tell him as I pull back, seeing tiredness in his face that makes me hurt worse.

"Mr. Cartwright," Bryan says and I almost giggle at the formality, but I can't quite work up the heart to make the noise.

"It's Jake, Bryan," he says shaking his hand as we move over to him, his arm around my waist still and I love it. "Jaime told her mom and me what's going on. It's a damned shame but if anyone were to have to bring us this news, I'd rather it be you than someone else."

"Me too," Bryan states, before looking to me with a gentle smile. "I'll find you before I have to leave."

"There's not going to be an easy way to break this news, son," Dad says, pulling Bryan's attention back up to him. "It'll be better to do it all at once. Troy's been part of the family too long to not tell everyone now. His parents died five years ago, so there's no one on his side left."

"Alright," Bryan agrees, and Dad leads us towards the room where the majority of the family is. The room runs the length of the house when all of the doors are open like they are now, and it's a relief to see that Zack and the others are still inside and not out in the game room.

Dad slips over to get Zack, bringing him up to the front as we slide over towards Mom and Jennie who has Daisy on her lap while Jasmine rocks Faye who will be one later this month, while Daisy will be three. Despite Jennie only wanting one baby herself, she does love all of the ones that come along. Even if she doesn't babysit them, she still loves on them at family dinners.

"Detective Taylor," Jasmine says noticing us first, her eyes twinkling as they glance my way.

"It's Bryan," he states as Dad comes up behind Mom and Jennie with Zack.

"So do we take this to mean that the two of you are official since he showed even if he is late?" Jeffery asks and I swallow hard as a hint of color hits my cheeks.

"We are together even if we haven't announced it loud and clear to all and sundry," I state and Bryan gives my hand a squeeze pulling my gaze up to his, and it's a relief to see the same softness that's always there when he looks at me.

"I wish that was the only reason I was here tonight," Bryan says, making Jeffery tense while Maia glances our way with worry mounting on her face. "I'm still on duty though. I've been covering for the night detective that covers the traffic division. I was called out to one tonight," he adds, glancing towards Mom and Jennie. "This is the part of my job I hate most."

I squeeze his hand that's still wrapped around mine, taking note of the looks shot towards Bryan and the quietness of the room.

"Jennie, it appears that Troy was on his way into town when he hit a patch of black ice," Bryan says and a shocked gasp falls from her, but also several others around the room. I see Dad's hand tighten on Zack's shoulder as well and fight to contain my own emotions as Mom wraps her arms around Jennie. "I'm so sorry, there was nothing the paramedics could do. He was gone before they arrived on the scene."

The look on my sister's face breaks my heart. I can't even imagine what she's feeling. The last two weeks when Bryan was barely responding to my messages broke my heart. If something happened to him…I don't know if I'd be able to keep going.

"You're sure it was him?" Jesse asks as he holds Maddie and Tabby even closer to him.

"Yes, I didn't leave until the medical examiner took him from the scene," Bryan says, his tone as gentle as possible as he glances at Jennie who's sitting with that same broken blank stare as Jasmine slips Daisy from her lap watching our sister with a worried look. It's shared by Jackie, Julie, and Jillian as well.

"Our job required a background check with fingerprints," Ethan says and Bryan nods as Jackie turns further into his hold, her cheeks wet making it hard not to let my own fall.

"If there is anything I can do, please let me know," Bryan says looking from Mom and Jennie, up to Dad and Zack. "I let Chief Davidson know on my way here so he should be by shortly to help as well. The examiner's office won't release anything without consent, and I've requested that the vehicle be removed from the scene as soon as possible."

"Thank you," Dad states and it hits me that it's so reporters don't get hold of the story and print it in the morning paper. Being part of the Cartwright family would make it headline news here in town and that's the last thing Jennie needs now.

Zack slips around settling in next to Jennie and the blank look falls, bringing on tears as she hugs him tight. Seeing my sister cry makes my own break free. I can't fight it any long and I sink into Bryan's arms as he pulls me into his chest and holds me close.