Chapter 23

CHAPTER 23

J agger

Maybe neither one of them understood what lengths I would go to in order to keep Bella and Cally safe.

“The bastard had already texted and called her, threatening her,” I added to the conversation. “I think it’s only a matter of time until he does everything he can to track her down. He had ammunition to try and take Cally away and from what she’s told me, he’ll make good on his threats.”

“Is he the child’s biological father?” my older brother pushed.

“No. And he didn’t legally adopt Cally, but is trying to push that through the court systems as well. I think he and his father own people in Baltimore. They will try and get it shoved through. That will devastate Bella. I won’t allow it to happen.”

“Blackmail is a powerful tool.” Shephard looked away. “You know, maybe Denise can help. She’s from Charlotte but maybe she knows something about the Brockfords.”

“No,” I said way too vehemently. “Not that I don’t trust Denise, but I want to keep this between us for now. Until we see what we’re dealing with.”

Shep was none too happy, but nodded.

“The boy is in love.”

I knew Hunter was just messing with me, but his frivolous attitude was the last thing I wanted to hear. “She’s a good person. She doesn’t deserve to lose her career and her daughter over a two-timing asshole.”

Shephard nodded. “Agreed. What do you need from us?”

“You guys have deeper contacts than I have. I want every scrap of dirt found out on the Brockford family.”

“Why does that name sound familiar?” Hunter was asking himself more than he was of either one of us.

“Big names in Baltimore. I don’t know otherwise. All I’ve found is glow and show. But they’re both associated with some corporate moguls accused of a few crimes of their own. A lot of corruption in Baltimore.”

“Birds of a feather…” Shephard didn’t need to finish the statement.

“What happened to your people, Jagger? Your handler should be able to help provide some information.” Hunter lifted his eyebrows after asking the question.

I twirled the glass on the table. “Let’s just say I burned a bridge or two.” And I had. There was no way I could go back to the organization I worked for as a mercenary and when I’d been discharged from the Army, pretty much everyone was glad to see me go.

“You do care about this girl. Don’t you?” Shephard gave Hunter a hard look as if cautioning him to lose the jokes.

“Yeah, I do. She makes me feel alive again. I can’t explain it.”

Shephard’s smile was almost embarrassing. “You never will, not really. When you’re used to living alone for so long, having someone invade your space leaves you anxious at first, breathless the next, and finally you find yourself head over heels in love. And you don’t even know how you got there.”

“Well, shit. Now I know the signs to look for so I can run far away from any chick I start feeling that way with.” Hunter was thoroughly amused.

Maybe I was feeling a little that way, but love wasn’t in the cards. “I’m not good for her, Shep. You know that.”

“Why the fuck would you say that?”

“It doesn’t matter,” I insisted.

“Yeah, I think it does. You retreated back into that shell of yours after the first goddamn few weeks of living here. Why?”

I shrugged as an answer. Meeting them wasn’t about analyzing my mental condition.

“Nightmares?” Hunter asked and this time, there was no look of amusement on his face.

According to the contracts we’d each signed with different organizations, we weren’t allowed to discuss anything regarding the missions. All three of us had turned our military skills into a mercenary position, but I had no clue who they’d worked for or in what parts of the world they’d been. The three of us had tried to bury our experiences, but even though Shep was happy as could be, I sensed his darkness remaining.

Was there a way to exorcise the demons that were covered in blood? That was the million-dollar question.

“A few.” My answer was controlled.

“Maybe you need to talk to someone,” Shephard suggested.

“I don’t need a damn shrink.” My tone was harsher than I intended.

“No, but you need to talk this out. Maybe Bella can help with that.”

My laugh sounded anything but happy. “She has too much shit on her plate right now. She needs our help. Are you willing or am I going this alone? I don’t fucking care if I need to fly to Baltimore, I’ll get that asshole to stop hassling her one way or another.”

I could tell by Shephard’s grin I’d hit all the hot buttons in his mind. Fuck that. My only intention was to get her the help she needed. Period.

“Don’t do anything stupid, brother of mine. Let me make a few phone calls.” Shephard took a long pull of his beer. “But I can’t promise anything. I burned a few bridges myself. I’m going to get another beer and a glass of wine for my girl. You were fashionably late.” He laughed as he rose from the chair.

“She has you wrapped around her little finger,” I told him, trying to pull the conversation back to something lighter.

Hunter was staring at me like he used to do as a kid. He’d once told me I was the weirdest human he’d ever met. I had a feeling he still felt that way. Not that I could blame him.

“Does Bella know you’re looking into her ex?” he asked.

“No.”

“You can’t start off a relationship with a lie.”

“It’s not a damn relationship and it’s not a lie.”

He laughed and lifted his glass. “You act like you have it all figured out. She’ll call you not sharing this with her or worse, killing the man, a lie and let me ask you something. Is she sleeping in your bed in your house where she currently resides?”

I just glared at him.

“That’s what I thought. You’re in a relationship.” He gave me a drawn-out smile before gulping his drink. “I’m just jiving you, man. You’ve been way off lately. More so than when we arrived. I’ve noticed you a couple times sparring with the sheriff. Is he giving you a hard time?”

“Always. I think he has something on Pops.”

Hunter breathed out. “Then we can’t let him destroy our future.”

Future. I still wondered what kind of future I really had. “Yeah.”

“Is there something else?”

I twirled my glass. “Nothing that needs mentioning.”

“Careful with all those secrets, bro. They will eat you alive. So with Bella, I can see some light in those angry eyes of yours. What’s wrong with enjoying her company?”

“What’s wrong? I’m afraid I’ll hurt her,” I admitted. I’d woken up several times to find a lamp broken or a bottle smashed against the wall and I had no memory of doing so. What if I did something terrible in the middle of the night? I would press the barrel of a gun against my temple.

“Then don’t. But that means you might need some help. It was forced on me after a few… incidents.”

It was the closest he’d come to talking about his life before the resort. I knew better than to ask questions. The different ordeals the three of us had gone through would mostly die with us. It was not only a requirement, but the shit was way too personal.

“Easier said than done. I think I’m violent during the nightmares.”

His eyes drilled into mine. “Bella is a doctor, bro. She will understand if you talk to her. Maybe she can offer some psychological help, even if you don’t think you need any. If you’re worried about hurting her in any way, you need to ask yourself why the fuck you think you don’t need anyone’s help. Besides, I have a feeling she already cares a hell of a lot about you.”

“How could she?”

“You didn’t see her face when you rescued Cally.”

I snorted. “Being grateful for performing a rescue and caring are entirely different.” I knew she cared. I wasn’t certain why I was lying except my brothers would continue nagging at me. Just like I’d done when Shephard had gotten involved with Denise.

“I’m no expert in the love department. You know that, but you need to face your feelings and your fears. There’s nothing wrong with caring about someone.”

“Not true.”

“Oh, come on,” Hunter hissed. “Tell me why.”

“It’s not true if you were the reason the only other person you ever cared about is dead. That’s why.” I hadn’t intended on spouting out those words and as soon as I did, I instantly regretted doing so.

Hunter’s eyes opened wide. “Wow. No wonder you’ve been keeping that armor on. I bet it’s getting pretty heavy.”

“Let it go. I don’t want to talk about what happened.”

“Shephard is right. You definitely need to talk to someone, but I suggest Bella. Does she know how anxious you are and anything about what you went through?”

“Only what she’s gleaned, but she’s good at picking me apart. That shit is not fair to her.”

“No matter what you think of me, Jagger, the worst thing you can do is to allow your past to interfere with your future. Plus, keeping closed off and away from everyone will never allow you to sleep at night. I tried that. I failed. I can’t tell you the number of times I had my service revolver in my mouth. The only thing that kept me from pulling the trigger was the knowledge that maybe one day things would get better.”

That was the most Hunter had told me about what he’d suffered. He may be the jokester and the playboy, but I sensed a much darker side that neither Shephard nor I had any clue about.

I noticed Denise walking in our direction, Shephard prepared to meet her halfway. I chuckled under my breath and Hunter glanced over his shoulder.

When they kissed, I groaned. He shook his head.

“There’s nothing wrong with affection, bro,” Hunter told me. “Including in public. Maybe take your non-relationship woman out and you might be surprised how good it feels.”

“Said by a guy who’s never been in a relationship.” Whether or not I knew Hunter’s personal demons, I sensed my comment had pinched a nerve.

What would we be like if we’d become doctors or attorneys? Would we be any closer?

Hunter stood to greet her and I did the same. Why did it feel so damn formal?

The lovebirds headed to the table and Denise immediately hugged Hunter first before heading in my direction. She was a hugger and that was fine. I just wasn’t into it.

“At least this time you didn’t flinch,” Denise told me when she pulled away. As a park ranger, she was all business and barked orders, but around my brother she was all lovey-dovey.

Just like he was.

“I don’t do that.”

“Yes, you do,” the three of them answered.

There was something to be said about having family.

Annoyance.

At least I could smile. “I should get going.”

“Hold on,” Denise told me. “You need to commit to bringing Bella and Cally over for dinner. Then we can finish having our discussion that we started in the grocery store.”

“What discussion?” Shephard pushed.

I ignored it.

“I gave you my answer and they don’t go anywhere without Xena,” I said, hoping the fact she owned a huge Malinois would deter her thinking.

“Xena and Pepper will get along just great. I’ll consider that a formal yes to my invitation. And we will finish that discussion.” Denise gave me a pointed look.

Shephard was standing behind her and threw up his hands.

I managed to keep the slight smile on my face. “I’ll talk to Bella. I’m not promising anything.”

“Good. I will bug you until you make it happen.”

“We’ll talk in the next couple days. Okay?” Shephard nodded as I pulled out a twenty, dropping it on the table.

“Fair enough.”

“Think about what I suggested,” Hunter called before I got out of earshot.

I would. Then I’d toss it aside. My one goal was to help her with the situation. Then I’d help her find a place of her own.

It was best for both her and Cally.