Chapter 17

CHAPTER 17

B ella

My phone chirped indicating a text.

Instantly, I was on edge, my nerves crawling with anxiety.

I ignored the sound, staring out the windshield.

“Xena didn’t like her bath, Mama,” Cally said from the backseat.

“Maybe not, but she wasn’t getting in this vehicle without one,” I told her. I had a feeling when the housekeepers came to get the cabin ready for the next guests, they wouldn’t be too happy either. The entire downstairs smelled like wet dog. “She was smelly like you are when you play in the mud.”

Cally giggled, which brought a sense of relief. I’d been anxious all morning. The text only made it worse.

Another text came in and my skin was crawling. There was a chance Esme was chastising me over not telling her everything about where I’d landed, but my gut told me otherwise.

Joel was taunting me again, keeping me on edge on purpose.

While my phone was in my purse, I hadn’t turned off the ringer. What was wrong with me? The answer was far too complicated.

“I don’t like baths either,” Cally admitted.

Hearing her happy laughter was exactly what I needed. Especially since Jagger was brooding, even though he was doing much better at not hiding his emotions after the night we’d had.

I wasn’t certain I’d done the right thing in agreeing to stay with Jagger for whatever number of days or weeks I remained in Danger Falls. He wasn’t entirely certain his offer was the right thing to do either. I could tell by his brooding demeanor.

He knew I was an imposter. I could feel it in my bones. That’s why he remained quiet, fuming because I’d lied to him.

Whatever he’d learned about me was akin to dynamite waiting to be lit. And the fuse was short. Could I trust him? How did I know he wouldn’t pick up the phone and contact Joel or the man’s equally horrible attorney?

I didn’t.

That’s why our silence was easier to deal with.

When another text came in, Jagger finally shifted in his seat. Had he heard the sound? Of course he had. The man was like a radar beacon, catching every sound.

“Aren’t you going to respond?” he asked.

“I’m sure it’s nothing important.”

“Right,” he huffed.

I did my best to ignore both my phone and his snide comment, but when another text came in, the angry side of me took over. With one hard jerk, I pulled my phone into my hands.

The text was ugly and very clear as to Joel’s intentions.

Joel: Do you really think you can run away from me with my little girl?

Joel : I will find you and when I do, you’ll be very sorry you crossed me.

Joel : I will release that video. Do not think I won’t.

Joel: You crossed the wrong person.

Me: She’s not your little girl. She’s mine.

I’d never felt so uncomfortable, the understanding that Jagger was in the seat next to me reinforcing I could never run away from my past.

Joel: I’m going to find you, my little bitch. And when I do, you will pay for trying to leave. You are my wife. And I assure you that anyone close to you is going to hate the fact they helped you.

Why did he care? Why did he act like he wanted me back?

Me: I’m not your wife any longer either. You fucked it up when you slept with her. If you touch a single one of my friends, I will make certain you go to prison for a very long time.

I started to shake. He was threatening my best friend.

Me: Esme doesn’t know where I am.

Why was I bothering?

Joel: It’s fascinating what a scalpel can do in slowly and effectively destroying nerves and tendons.

Me: Leave me alone. You got what you wanted. You touch her, you die.

I waited to see the three little dots floating across the screen, but there weren’t any. A couple of minutes passed and I knew he wasn’t going to answer. He’d played me again and won. He wasn’t outright threatening anyone, although a decent detective might be able to make a case from what he’d said. But in Baltimore, Joel Brockford was a prominent man, someone to be feared because his daddy owned everyone who had any desire to make something of themselves.

I turned my phone off at that point, refusing to fall prey to Joel’s almost perfect method of manipulation. He was the master at it, keeping me on edge even during surgery.

“Something wrong?” Jagger asked.

“Nothing I can’t handle.”

While he didn’t respond, I noticed his chest rising and falling as it did every time he was annoyed or angry. Besides, the shake of his head indicated he didn’t believe me.

We were headed into town to pick up a few things, both of us not working after the traumatic night we’d experienced. I’d been forced to admit to myself when I crawled out of bed that I was exhausted, every muscle aching.

But my condition wasn’t totally due to almost falling down a mountain slope or attending to tourists who should have listened to the weather forecast. Or even my emotional state when I’d thought my beautiful baby daughter might never be found.

It was mostly because of hot sex.

I bit my lower lip as he made a turn, slowing down as we approached the area where the road had been blocked off the evening before. One lane had been cleared so far, flagmen allowing people to go in turns.

Was it terrible of me to be thinking about my sexual escapades with a sexy man instead of continuing to try to piece my life back together? Maybe. The useful word was ‘try.’ So far, I wasn’t doing a very good job. Now that everyone knew I was a surgeon by profession, I had a feeling the townspeople wouldn’t leave me alone.

But I would remain steadfast in my decision to stay away from medicine for the time being. It was too painful all the way around.

“Mama. Can we get some toys for Xena?” Cally asked.

I very slowly looked over at Jagger. Every time my daughter spoke, I noticed a tiny crack in his armor. Very tiny, but I knew underneath the grizzly bear of a man was a heart that continued beating to his own rhythm. The conversation I’d overheard had pulled me back into my own mental reclusion.

He didn’t know if he wanted me here.

Then why offer his cabin? Or maybe his brother had made the suggestion. Whatever the case, I could tell I was already crowding his space.

We passed the flagmen and Cally had to kneel in the backseat, waving to them frantically. She had such a good heart that I was constantly reminded why all of this was worth it.

“We should give them some water, Mommy.”

“Maybe we will on the way back,” I told her. “Plus, I’m certain they have some.” She loved all creatures big and small, acting as if she could save the world. I’d felt that way at her age even if I’d had no one to nurture me. I would do everything in my power while I remained alive to provide her with all the tools she needed to succeed.

How many times had I thought I would die? Too many. I dropped my head, the unexpected attack of emotions not what I needed right now.

I felt the heat of his gaze as he made another turn, the two-lane road turning into four. I could see the city limits sign including the population stats. I concentrated on that, biting my tongue to keep from issuing a stark sob.

Jagger had no idea what to say to me. For a man like him to stutter after coming inside meant he was clueless. Maybe I just needed coffee. Lots of coffee. I could handle an IV drip at this point. I was still afraid I’d be lost in the terrifying memories. Why was I so emotional today?

You know the answer.

He will find you.

Joel would need to make guesses about the last name I was using. After taking two years to finally learn my mother’s identity—including her last name, which I’d adopted—I hadn’t told him I’d been searching for her. Let alone what I’d found. However, I hadn’t offered to testify against my ex so no protection had been offered to me. My single report of abuse had been met with being made to feel like the attack had been my fault. I’d learned then just how deep the Brockford family pockets were. Using my mother’s name had seemed like the only choice.

Still, even if the odds of Joel finding out were slim, I worried he’d find a way.

“Mommy. Can I get an ice cream cone?”

“Ice cream?” Jagger finally piped in. “It’s like thirty degrees outside.”

“There’s no bad time for ice cream,” Cally and I said together. It had been our little mother-daughter motto since she’d managed to formulate sentences. I was amazed how adult she sounded at almost four. Like a big girl with even bigger dreams.

I remembered being that girl.

“Well, then. I think we can make that happen. If your mother approves,” he told us.

“Yay! Mommy. I’ve been good.”

Exhaling, I almost reached over and squeezed his leg, but thought better of it. We weren’t a couple. That’s what I had to keep telling myself. “Yes, honey. You have.”

Woof.

Xena piped in and I said a silent prayer Cally’s world wouldn’t need to be shattered with the loss of the pup. I had no clue if I could take her with me wherever we ended up. Or if she belonged to someone who was desperately looking for her.

“We’ll stop at the pet store first for a collar and leash, some food too,” he said, returning to his quiet space. “And maybe a few toys!”

“Okay. Is there a place we can ask around about whether Xena has been missing?” I tried to keep my voice low so Cally wouldn’t hear. She was so lucky to be alive, the few scratches and bumps, bruises and abrasions not keeping her down for long enough in my mind. The little girl had no idea how close she’d come to dying.

Oh, God.

I pressed my hand over my face, praying I could hold it in. Small towns were the kind of place where news traveled fast. I had a feeling I would be forced to go over the events again and again. I couldn’t handle that.

“Sure. Poppy’s Diner. A good place for all four of us to get something to eat.”

He didn’t seem happy about it either. “Including Xena?”

“Danger Falls is dog friendly. Almost every business and store. There isn’t a single person who won’t stop and pet a dog. Crazy shit.”

“He said a bad word.”

I bit back a laugh. “Yes, he did and he needs to apologize.”

Jagger finally cracked a smile. “I am very sorry. I was a bad, bad boy.” When he threw me a look this time, a moment of closeness erupted between us.

I adored this man, but how could I help him lose the anchor around his neck? If he wasn’t careful, it would soon become a noose.

The moments of awkward silence between us could be measured in miles or gallons. I wasn’t certain which fit the situation the best. At least the town limits came into view and I could absorb myself in the quaintness, buildings that indeed reminded me of those seen in holiday movies or television series that seemed to have no real point to them.

I was a pessimist when it came to romance even though I craved it with every inch of my soul.

With every building painted a different vibrant color, including the brick facades, I could see the town plopped in a tropical atmosphere. “Danger Falls isn’t what I expected,” I told him.

“Every tourist says that,” he admitted. “My parents had a hand in redecorating the town so the place would seem friendlier.”

“Your parents?”

His laugh held meaning and one he wouldn’t discuss with me. “Yeah, they bought Foxhead Resort, determined to bring life back to the dying town.”

“It looks like they did a good job.” The place was crawling with people, the remaining snow on the ground adding a Christmasy feel. The sidewalks were already cleared. I found that amazing. Wreathes were hung from every door, every streetlight adorned with garland and lights, a representation of Santa or a snowman capping each.

“Look, Mommy! Santa.”

My heart ached since the holidays meant so much to her. Christmas brought heartache to my world, but I’d tried in her few short years to bring her the joy of the season.

When she started singing her favorite Christmas tune, I stifled a laugh. “Don’t mind the baby girl. She can’t get enough of the holidays. I know you hate them.”

“Yeah, I do,” he admitted. “I have reasons.”

“I get it.” I did. Either Joel or I had always had to work, never truly enjoying the holiday season other than the typical company party he’d forced me to attend.

“More than you know.”

He added the last part as if an afterthought and so many questions formed in my mind. Too late. I noticed the pet store marquee and sighed. Today just might be the most difficult day of all.

Jagger

Secrets.

Danger.

Both were ubiquitous in my world. I’d become the master of keeping secrets close, doing my best to ignore them while they ceremoniously attempted to destroy my life.

I’d become damn good at being able to shove them aside.

Bella wasn’t capable of doing so. Maybe because of Cally. Whatever the reason, her suffering kept my anger fresh and just under the surface.

Whoever had texted her was at least part of the reason she was petrified with every shadow. Somehow, I would need to figure out what I was dealing with since Bella refused to tell me.

“Look, Mommy,” Cally squealed again. “Santa Claus.”

We arrived in town and it seemed the entire population was out in force. My muscles tensed all over again at the thought.

I hated shopping.

Purchasing groceries was a pain in the ass.

But here I was in the middle of a thriving pet store, far too many tourists and locals fawning over treats behind the doggie bakery case and stuffed animals that had hefty price tags. But it was something I had to do. Just seeing the joy-filled look on Cally’s face almost warmed my heart.

Almost.

“Xena stays in the car until she has a collar and a leash,” Bella told Cally as the little girl tried to get the dog out of my Range Rover.

“Ah, Mommy!”

“Nope. We don’t want her running away. Do we?” Bella pinched her daughter’s chin.

I noticed again that neither one of them had a decent coat on. Their two were far too flimsy for this kind of weather.

“Come on. Let’s get the two of you inside.” I opened the door, ushering Cally into the store, waiting to see Bella’s reaction.

She was more pensive than I’d seen her. Before she had a chance to slide past me, I blocked her entrance.

“What are you doing?” Her tone had returned to being demanding.

“I could ask you the same question. What’s going on?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“I think you do. What was in the text and who was it from?”

Bella glared at me. “None of your business.”

“Since you’ll be living in my house, it is entirely my business.”

She huffed, the sound exaggerated. “Then I guess I need to look for a place so I can get the hell out of your life.” Bella sidestepped me, but I thwarted her attempt.

“Don’t do that, Bella. You’re going through something and I have a feeling it’s dangerous. Now, confide in me.”

“Why should I? I don’t know you.”

I snagged her wrist with a little more force than I’d intended.

“Let me go or so help me God.”

Exhaling, I released my hold, holding back on my typical self-righteous stare as she peered up at me. “Is someone threatening you?”

“No. Why in God’s name would you think that?”

Because I knew when someone felt panic that swept up through every ounce of their being. “Because you were rattled by the text.”

“Just a friend from back home hassling me for not calling her.”

She tried to laugh it off.

I could easily see through her bad attempt at lying to me.

“You’re certain that’s all it is?”

“Absolutely. Stop worrying, Jagger. Last night was last night. I’m fine.”

“Uh-huh. Come on.” Her reasons for lying to me were her own, but I could smell her fear.

“I just need to make a quick phone call. Will you keep an eye on Cally for me? Please?”

I didn’t need to be some damn mind reader to know she was in serious trouble, more so than I’d originally thought. “Sure. Happy to.”

Happy?

The woman was far too frustrating, but I would find out what she was hiding.

A little girl and a dog. I had no clue what I was doing. As soon as I was noticed by the owner of the store, she flew out from behind the bakery counter. “Jagger Fox. I never thought I’d see you here.”

Betty Barker had been the owner for a few years, taking the insurance money left over from her husband’s tragic ski-lift death to open the place. I’d met her once at the resort when a pet adoption event had been held there. It had been my mother’s doing, insisting we could help. The day had meant our parking lot had been filled with vehicles and people who would likely never rent a room or cottage at the resort. I’d tried to stay away, but the older lady had sought me out.

With her garish jet-black hair and thick blue eye shadow, she almost reminded me of Betty Boop.

“Yeah, well, we got a stray who needs a collar and leash. Some dogfood.”

“What kind of dog?” Her eyes flitted toward the pup, her hands clasping together. “The hero dog. Oh, my God. I am so honored. And this must be little Cally.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Cally told her.

“My, such manners for a special young lady. Why don’t we go and look for the perfect collar for that very good girl who saved you?” Betty asked, already holding out her hand.

“Xena. Princess warrior.”

Cally’s voice would always dig out a portion of my heart and I didn’t know why. I hadn’t spent time with a kid in as long as I could remember. Maybe because she was the spitting image of her mother. The same flaxen hair. The same violet eyes.

“Well, then. The collar must be extra special for a princess. And treats.”

I had to hand it to Betty; she knew how to handle children where I failed miserably.

“By the way, Jagger. I just wanted to tell you that the whole town is proud of you. What you did to save that little girl just warms my heart like it does everyone else.” She planted her hand against her heart. “You have a good heart. I’m sure your mother is very proud of the man you’ve become.”

I wasn’t certain about that.

She didn’t wait for me to respond, trailing behind Cally and Xena, the little girl touching everything within her reach. When the three were safely a distance away, I returned my attention to the front of the store.

Bella was pacing the sidewalk, animated as she talked on her phone. Only after she moved to the edge of the sidewalk facing the street did I head out the door. I leaned against the exterior of the building, the excessive traffic preventing me from overhearing what she was saying.

But I could tell by the pained look on her face that whoever she was talking to was important to her. I had one foot on the wall, trying to act as if I was enjoying the brisk weather.

Bullshit.

As soon as she turned around, her pointed look confirmed I sucked at acting. She spun around again, her hand motions more animated than before. Soon, she was off the phone, but her screen remained lit. I was going to use that to my advantage before her iPhone locked down.

When I confronted her, this time she allowed a few seconds of fear to show on her face. “What are you hiding from me?”

“Stop asking me. You couldn’t understand and I just want to leave it alone. Don’t you get it?”

“What I get is that you’re pretending nothing is wrong when you’re terrified of every shadow.”

“That makes two of us.”

Her words were biting and I gritted my teeth. Soon, I’d have no enamel left on any of them. “Fine. Have it your way.”

“By the way. We need to get you a new shirt at least. My treat.”

She tugged at my rumpled, ruined shirt and I laughed. “Yeah, we can do that.”

Her expression softened, hope flaring in her soft purple eyes. It was the same look she’d given me the moment I’d brought her daughter back to safety. The same expression that had slayed me then just about broke me now. “I just need some peace. Please try and understand.”

“What about happiness?”

She scoffed and threw open the door. “I gave up on that when I left Baltimore.”