Chapter 11
CHAPTER 11
J agger
Out of my frigging mind.
I’d fucked her.
A woman I barely knew, one with a cement block tied to her ankle. I could feel that as certain as I was breathing air.
Plus, she had a kid.
A child.
Yeah, this rough and tumble asshole of a man had lost his mind.
The only good news at this point was that the snowstorm had left the area, leaving a mess of the roads and solid surfaces in its wake. I’d left the couch, where I’d insisted on sleeping, donning the same clothes I’d been in and waiting until light to start shoveling the sidewalk and front porch. That had led me to the driveway, which some might say was ridiculous. With my seventeen-inch tires, I could successfully maneuver the Range Rover out of here, but I needed something to do.
I was a jerk, but not the kind to run out after the night of passion without saying a single word to her.
I’d heard at least two plows, their quick actions meant to keep both locals and tourists safe. It was still a gray and ugly day, but at least things were looking up.
The sound of my phone jarred me out of envisioning her tempting body.
Her.
Shit. I was having difficulty even thinking Bella’s name. I shoved the snow shovel into the mound of snow and ice, yanking off my gloves as I continued grousing at myself.
Danny Marcos, the tow trucking company owner was on the other line, an Italian dude who’d moved from New York in his attempt to find a better life for his growing family. He was tough as nails, a former Marine like my brother. But he understood hard times, including being overseas in a war. That’s why I got along with him so well.
We’d had our share of drinks at the local watering hole, commiserating over stories that were highly embellished.
I’d left a message the night before on his phone, providing a location for Bella’s Mercedes.
“Yo, buddy. How’s business?” I asked as I took a deep breath. The air was crisp, the views of the trees covered in snow another reminder of a freaking greeting card.
“Busy as shit. Tourists are idiots,” Danny barked. “And what the hell are you doing with a Mercedes?”
“Not mine, buddy. Just a chick who thought she could leave the area.”
“Well, her damn vehicle is snowed in, a plow almost burying it in ice and snow. It’ll take me hours to get the piece of shit out of there.”
I grinned. The man was as rough as they came. “I’ll pay you whatever you need. However, do me a favor and don’t bring it to the Wyoming cabin for a few hours.”
He snorted. “Got yourself into some kind of trouble, buddy?”
“Nah. Just trying to keep a headstrong woman from sliding down the mountain.”
“Ouch. How did you get that duty?”
Because I was a dumbass and craved every inch of her luscious body. “Just being friendly.”
“You?” he asked, laughing as he usually did when he thought I said something stupid.
“Yeah, yeah. Just do as I ask. Okay?”
“Okay, buddy, but her vehicle is in a precarious position. One careless snowplow and poof, that expensive vehicle is toast.”
I raked my hand through my hair, taking another deep breath of the frigid air. “I’ll take my chances.”
“You’re trying to keep her here.” His laugh was irritating as usual, but it was good to have a buddy who understood me, never berating me with questions.
“Funny dude. Go do your job.”
“That’s right. Santa is heading to the Foxhead Winery and Resort. Good times. I’m bringing my kids by later.”
Great. I gritted my teeth all over again. “Just do your job, bud.”
“I’ll do my best. Talk at ya later.”
I had just ended the call when my phone rang again. This time the annoyance was from my brother Hunter. “What?”
“Does someone piss in your food every day?” he asked.
“What do you want? I’m currently shoveling snow.”
“I’m reminding you that you need to be here today. Full house.”
“In this shit?”
Hunter could be the most irritating man in the world. “It’s the holidays, dude. Or didn’t you get the memo? Tourists love this shit. Snowstorm or not.”
My mind shifted to the conversation I’d had with Bella. While my gut had told me she was hiding something significant, the fact she’d agreed to consider waiting tables while the shit settled alleviated part of my concerns about her leaving. “I’ve got a new employee you need to meet. She’s going to be working for you, waiting tables.”
“Now you’re interested in hiring employees?” Hunter asked, a hint of his normal arrogance sliding into his tone. I was used to that, our conversations often going off the deep end from anger and frustration.
“She needs a job. She’s a smart lady and my guess is that some of your employees didn’t come in today.”
With the restaurants being open basically eighteen hours a day, Hunter had been forced to try to hire additional staff.
“Fine. You’re right. Is she experienced? Is she any good?”
“How the shit would I know? You just need to talk with her.”
“You’re bringing her by?”
Another deep sigh threatened to give away the fact I knew her. “I can. If you’ll get off the damn phone and allow me to finish my job.”
“Fine, grouchy pants. Do your thing. Just remember Santa arrives at two.”
My teeth were now aching from how hard I’d clenched my jaw. “I’ll be there. You just keep your end of the bargain. Got it?”
“Oh, I got it. You owe me.”
I didn’t owe shit to anyone, but I let it go. After shoving my phone into my back pocket, I resumed shoveling. The shot of electricity less than three minutes later wasn’t as shocking as it had been the first two times, but it was just as disconcerting.
If the beautiful lady thought what had happened the night before meant anything other than feeling good for a change, she would be sorely wrong. I would never care about anyone any longer.
“Would you like some coffee?” she asked, although I was surprised she’d waited a couple of minutes to ask.
I wasn’t going to respond, acting as if I didn’t hear her, but I also wasn’t as young as I used to be. The actions I’d been forced into had aged my body as much as the horror of survival had nearly destroyed my mind.
“Sure. I’ll be there in a minute.”
My minute turned into at least ten. At least the sidewalk wasn’t a hazard zone, the steps clear of a single flake of snow until the wind started blowing.
When I finally walked inside, she didn’t bother looking in my direction. She was busy reading to Cally from one of the books I’d purchased. It was tough not to stare at her as she animated every page. The moment she finally acknowledged my presence by slowly glancing over her shoulder, a feeling of guilt washed over me.
Why the hell should I feel guilty about anything? Bella was a big girl. As she’d reminded me several times before, she could take care of herself.
I stormed into the kitchen with heavy feet, finding a coffee pod in the Keurig machine waiting for me to press the button. When had coffeepots become an issue? I hated these things. But I pressed the damn button, the aches and pains requiring something to warm me up.
With the damn thing happily bubbling, I took two strides toward the window. I’d never been good at pillow talk after sex, the thought of romancing the situation nothing I could handle. But the way we’d been together, the incredible amount of passion had caught me off guard.
That wasn’t a good place for me to be in.
With the coffee finishing slurping, I pulled out some half and half, freezing the second she walked into the room.
She said nothing at first and I didn’t move. This just wasn’t going to work. I was grateful the roads were being cleared. I had nothing to say to her. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I had no clue what words I could say that would matter. I liked the girl. Maybe too much. That just wasn’t a smart thing for me to allow to continue.
“Were you serious about the waitress position?”
“Yeah,” I said without turning around. “I just spoke with my brother, who runs the various restaurants. I’ll take you to the resort in a little while. You can have a chance to talk with him.”
“What about Cally?”
I knew what she was asking. Why was conversing with her so damn difficult this morning? “The company has a daycare system free for employees and even guests can drop their kids off for a day or two when needed.”
“Oh. That sounds great.”
The awkwardness was worse than the day before. I still couldn’t face her, returning to the window to survey the amount of snow that had fallen.
Maybe three or four minutes passed in silence. “I called the towing company the resort uses. Your vehicle should be back here later today.”
When she didn’t respond, I finally turned toward the door.
She’d left the room.
The ride to the resort had been just as awkward as the morning at the cabin. She’d had the same kind of issue looking me in the eyes, which was fine with me. Maybe there were no words that needed to be said.
After pulling into the employee parking lot, Bella stiffened.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“It’s just been a long time since I worked in a restaurant.”
“What did you do prior to coming here?” I’d paid close attention to how adept she’d been in suturing Carlos’ wrist. That took skill. Skill that she refused to acknowledge and it continued to nag me.
“None of your business, Jagger. Okay?” She didn’t waste any time bolting from the vehicle, ignoring me as she chatted with Cally while getting her out of the backseat.
I waited a few seconds before climbing out, hating the tension we shared, but my gut telling me it was for the best.
Bella gripped her daughter’s hand as we started walking toward the front entrance. When Cally noticed a group of lit reindeer as we were getting close, she pulled her hand free, racing the rest of the way.
“Be careful!” Bella shouted. “Look both ways, young lady.”
A grimace remained on my face as we continued walking side by side. But before we were even on the front concrete pad in front of the doors, she turned to face me.
“Look. I need to say something,” she said.
“Sure. Go ahead.”
“Last night was… Well, it was wonderful, but I can’t do that again. It’s not me.”
“A one-night stand?” There was no reason her push off should bother me since that’s what I’d wanted in the first place, yet it did. I was the guy who ran away from any concept of a relationship. If a woman I’d fucked asked for us to exchange phone numbers or what I was doing the next night, I made a beeline for the exit. The fact she was ditching me hit me hard in the gut.
“That and being with a man in general. I have a new life to build and along with Cally, those are the only two things that I plan on concentrating on. I hope you get it.”
I’d learned more about her former life with her single sentence. She wasn’t just running. She had left her entire world behind. “Sure. I get it.”
She seemed relieved. “Good. I don’t want this to be… difficult.”
Yet it already was.
She touched my arm and I’d be damned if the jolt of current wasn’t enough to light up the entire resort. I shrugged it off, moving to the front entrance instead. I heard her exasperated sigh, but she’d drawn the line in the sand. Not me.
Her choice.
As before, I cringed the moment I walked into the resort. Seeing that more decorations had been added meant at least some of the staff had likely been snowed in and had nothing better to do with their time. Maybe I’d take a leave of absence until spring.
“Mama. Look!” Cally was pointing to a huge banner of Santa and his arrival time that also hadn’t been there the night before. The little girl was jumping up and down. I noticed she’d dragged the koala bear with her, insisting on calling him Mr. Bear. For a man who considered himself all but dead inside, I’d purposely listened in on their conversations. Why? I wasn’t certain, but it had been a nudge to try to keep my emotions in check.
Cally’s squeal was loud enough that several people glanced in our direction, smiling at the sight of the happy little family. Something we’d never be.
That also included my brother Hunter.
From the goddamn smirk on his face to his swagger as he approached, I wasn’t certain my decent mood was going to last through today.
“Jagger,” he said instead of his usual asinine greeting. “Who’s your lady friend and what about this adorable little angel?”
Who’d killed my brother and sent in a body double? “Bella Winters, meet my kid brother Hunter Fox. He’s also the operations manager for the restaurants. This is her daughter Cally.”
“And Mister Bear,” Cally chimed in.
“Well, Mister Bear is mighty handsome just like you’re a beautiful young lady. I’m also part owner, Bella. Don’t allow my often jerk of a brother to mislead you.” He held out his hand for a typical shake.
She eyed him the same way she’d done with me the first time. “I see the arrogance runs in the family.”
“Ouch!” Hunter exclaimed, acting as if he was hurt. I was going to hurt his ass if he dared flirt with her like he did every other woman under fifty who walked in through the front doors. “I think I like her. I was told you’re looking to wait tables.”
“It’s been a while, but yes,” she answered. Her lies were no better than mine.
“It’s going to be a shitstorm here today and I have several employees who couldn’t make it. I’ll introduce you to our sous-chef and hopefully the meeting will go well and we can get you started. Chef Zimmerman is in charge of every restaurant. Just know that she’s overworked and understaffed and has a mouth on her like a sailor.”
“I think I’ll like her,” Bella told him.
“What happened to you hiring another chef?” I asked him in my usual disgruntled voice.
He’d been harassed constantly by both Shephard and me over the last couple of months. “Good help, like decent family, is hard to find.”
“Mommy!” Cally tugged at her mother’s jacket, not used to remaining in one place for so long.
“I’ll have one of the employees take you to daycare so you can check out the place. Then we’ll get started.” Hunter glanced in my direction and I could easily tell he was putting two and two together. He was the puzzle solver, the brother who most liked to meddle in other people’s business.
“That’s great. I didn’t know what to wear.” Bella had jumped into a bloody mess without a single hesitation, but she was frightened of the concept of waiting tables.
I had to admire her spunk.
“You’re fine, Bella. This is a snow day around here. I’m just thrilled we have an extra body.”
A part of me wanted to remind my brother he owed me a huge favor, but I resisted.
Another awkward silence pulled me back into a level of utter darkness that I’d done my best to avoid. Going back to the danger zone, as my handler had called my mood swings, wasn’t in anyone’s best interest.
Hunter smiled, but I sensed his exhaustion. The Fox boys had taken almost no days off since the resort had been dumped into our laps.
Cally danced around the area, amusing herself while I stood alone with Bella.
“I need you to tell me how much I owe you. If I don’t have the money then you’ll get paid when my first paycheck comes through,” she told me. This time, she held her head high as she studied my face.
“Does that mean you’re staying in town?”
“Would you care if I did?”
The answer forming in my mind surprised me. “It doesn’t matter.”
“That’s what I thought. I’ll be here for a couple weeks anyhow, if that’s okay with you, Mr. Grouch.”
“Mr. Grouch. Mr. Grouch. Mr. Grouch,” Cally mimicked.
Lighting into Bella wasn’t possible, but I moved closer so I could answer her without anyone overhearing. “You can do what you want. I’ll get you the total later today when I take you back to the cabin. Fair enough?”
“Fair enough.”
We were at another larger line drawn in the sand and for the life of me, I wondered how we’d gotten through the night without killing each other. We were oil and water mixed with gasoline.
Hunter approached with another girl beside him. “Are we interrupting?”
“Not in the least.”
“Sure looked that way.”
“Just get on with it. I got work to do.”
As he’d done for months, he shook his head since we were around employees. “Bella. This is Jenny Talbot. She’ll take you and the little Miss Cally to the daycare and show you around. Just don’t listen to half of what she says. She’s a mean sort.”
“Very funny, Mr. Fox. I just keep you on your toes,” Jenny stated with confidence.
“Yeah, that you do. Run along, girls, so I can talk to the other Fox in the hole.”
Bella gave me another strange look as if wanting to say something to me before taking Cally by the hand and following Jenny.
I started to walk away because I wasn’t interested in hearing yet another lecture from my brother. He had no business talking when he hadn’t bothered trying to face his demons. This time he grabbed my arm.
“What do you want, Hunter?”
“I don’t want anything, especially from you. I just wanted to tell you that Bella seems very nice. I don’t know what she’s doing here and we can use the help right now. Thank you for the recommendation.”
“It got her out of my hair.”
“What really is going on with you? You never hated the holidays before. Why now?”
I got in his face, using the anger toward myself for my actions around Bella as an explosive backdrop. “What the fuck does it matter? You have a life you seem to enjoy now. Live it. Leave me alone.” I jerked my arm free and half expected him to follow me after I started to walk away.
He didn’t.
But his words I heard.
“Whatever is going on with you, I get. I really do, brother. But you can’t allow the nightmares and tunnel vision, the cold sweats and the rage to keep you from living in the here and now. You just can’t. Being locked up inside your mind will only drive you to madness.”
I laughed softly. “It already has.”