Chapter 9

chapter

nine

Lucy

It’s amazing how easily we fall into a rhythm over the next couple of weeks. We work during the day; I sculpt and he fixes one thing after another in the house. Then we share our meals before falling into bed for a night of passionate sex. Or on the couch, the kitchen counter, kitchen table and against several walls.

He’s insatiable and so am I. I can’t get enough of the feel of his skin, or the smell of him, or of his kisses. Every time my heart tries to whisper things to me about our feelings, I turn up my music or turn on my blow torch. I will not think about such things.

I don’t need to slow down to process it. I don’t even need to think it through. I know I’m in love with him. He’s amazing. Gentle and funny and smart and talented. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted and I feel so at ease with him. Feel more myself than I’ve ever felt before.

He’s also helped me see the truth about myself and this town. For so long I always just believed that I didn’t quite fit in. That I was too loud, too curvy, too tattooed, too pink-haired, too pierced, just too much for all of them. So I was friendly with people, but never really had any close friends.

Reconnecting with Shelby helped. I guess I never realized how much I took on the burden of my dad’s action. Knowing that none of Shelby’s family or anyone else actually blamed me absolved me of that. I’m sure I’ll still be apprehensive. It didn’t alleviate my anxiety since that’s rooted in earlier wounds than my father’s drunk driving. But I’m beginning to see myself differently.

But here in this short amount of time, Jack has become my best friend. I’m going to tell him that as soon as he’s back from the hardware store. I can’t tell him the other thing. That I L-O-V-E him. It’s too soon. I’m not even gonna say that to myself.

I step out of my garage workshop to head back to the house and there’s a strange woman in my yard. I wipe my hands on my overalls and step into the yard.

“Can I help you?”

She turns to face me and she’s beautiful. Like model pretty. Tall and curvy with either a very good bra, or bought and paid for tits that defy gravity. She’s got straight blond hair and an Instagram-worthy smile.

“You must be Lucy. Jack told me all about you.” Her tone is sweet, but there’s something underlying that puts me on edge. She comes forward, her gaze taking in my appearance in a way that makes me aware of every flaw I’ve ever seen in myself and thought I’d made peace with.

My stomach caves in on itself and I want to turn and run. This is Angie.

The closer she gets to me, the more perfect I see that she is. She and Jack must have been the star couple in their hometown. His classic quarterback good looks and she could definitely have been the head cheerleader. I would have been the weirdo in the corner wearing black nail-polish and combat boots.

I swallow and force myself to smile. “And you are?” Because even though I know, I won’t give her that pleasure. I’m petty like that.

“Angie.” She releases a fairy-like laugh. “Didn’t Jack tell you I was coming?”

Uh, no, he sure the fuck did not. I shake my head because I’m unable to form words that won’t sound like ‘get the fuck off my lawn!’

“That silly man.” She tsks her tongue. “Well I am a little early, but since it’s Valentine’s Day, I wanted to surprise him. Is he here now?”

Valentine’s Day? How did I miss that? Because I never have a valentine and it’s just another day for me.

“Hardware store.” The words feels as rough of metal shavings in my mouth.

She nods. “Well, listen, Lucy, I want to be honest with you because that’s the fair thing to do. Jack and I have a lot of history together.” She reaches out and pats my arm. I fight the urge to punch her in the throat. “I know he slept with you. It’s okay. I’m not upset with you. I can understand that a woman like yourself would jump at a chance to sleep with a man like Jack. He’s so sexy.”

Oh God, I’m going to be sick. I’m going to vomit all over this pretty woman who looks like she teaches Sunday School while I look like a, well, I don’t even know what I look like.

But Angie keeps on talking, ignoring the fact that I’m about to throw up on her shoes. “I forgive him because I know this little tryst between the two of you was nothing more than revenge because I strayed a few times while he was away. But it’s time for him to come home now.” She pats me again. “I’m sure you understand.”

“Can you stop fucking touching me,” I say.

Her eyes widen and she takes a step back. “Well, you don’t have to be a bitch about it. I was just trying to be friendly. And frankly I wanted to let you down gently. I mean surely you know that men like Jack don’t end up with big girls like you.” Her hand goes to her chest and she feigns sympathy. “You didn’t really think he’d have feelings for you, did you?” Then the shake of the head.

What. A. Bitch.

I’m still debating if I want to drop kick her or just call Sheriff Burton to have her hauled out of my yard for trespassing, when Jack’s truck pulls up and he’s barely got it in park before he’s out of the truck and running towards us. “Angie.”

She turns and she’s all gentle smiles. “Jackie, I’ve missed you so much.” She runs and jumps in his arms and I’ve seen enough.

So I just turn around and head to the house.

“Lucy, wait,” he calls.

I stop walking, but I can’t make myself turn and face them. I don’t want to see what they look like as a couple. I can already imagine it, but if I see it, I think it might break me.”

Jack tugs on my arm and tries to turn me but I won’t budge. “What’s the matter, Pocket?” He comes around and bends down to look into my face.

I’m pretty sure I’m crying now, but who cares. He’s going to leave and I’ll just go inside and cry alone. Maybe I should adopt a cat. Or ten. Then at least I’d have someone to talk to.

Jack pulls me into his arms. “Please don’t cry. You’re my brown-eyed girl.”

“I can’t do this,” I whisper. I really don’t want that woman to see me fall apart.

“You just stay right here with me. I’ve got you.” He pulls me to his chest. “Angie, what the actual fuck are you doing here?”

“Don’t be like that, Jackie,” Even though I don’t look at her, I can hear the sexy pout in her voice. "You told me to come.”

“I did not and you know that. I told you to stop contacting me.”

There’s a beat of silence, where both Angie and I seem to be absorbing his words. I sneak a peek up at him. His expression as he looks at her is dark. Shut down. Cold in a way that it never is when he looks at me.

The fear and tension in my chest loosens a little. Because he’s looking at her like that, maybe he really doesn’t love her. Maybe he doesn’t want her, regardless of how beautiful and perfect she looks.

“Jackie—” she coos again.

“Don’t,” he cuts her off, his voice as cold as his expression. “Just don’t."

I risk a quick glance at her and something flickers across her perfect features.

“You can’t possibly mean to walk away from everything we had together. Walk away from me for her.” Angie spats.

Now she’s showing her true colors.

“She’s fat Jack. She won’t be able to satisfy you. I know you fucked her, but it’s okay. I forgive you.”

“You?” he releases a dark chuckle. “YOU forgive me?”

“Yes. I know you were upset because I slept with a couple of guys while you were gone. But I was so lonely.”

“A couple of guys? Come on, Angie, let’s be honest with each other. I heard it was a lot more than a couple. But you know what? I don’t even care. None of that matters to me.”

She must have stepped forward because her next words are closer. “I don’t care either. We can be together, baby. Just like we’d always planned.”

“Fuck no,” Jack bites out. “Angie, we were together when we were kids, we’ve both moved on.” He pauses a moment, then adds. “What’s the matter? Did your recent boyfriend dump you and now you’re alone? It might be good for you. To try to figure out who you are without a man to rely on.”

Jack’s words are even and calm. All the while his big hands spread warm circles against my back. He’s lulling me and I should probably be on guard, but I don’t want to be. I want to trust him. I want to believe that he feels what I feel. That he knows we belong together.

“You’ll never have with her what you had with me,” Angie says.

“You’re right,” Jack says.

My heart thumps in my chest as if it’s heard a call to action and it’s ready to fight for what it wants.

“I will never have what I had with you. Because what I have with Lucy is real. It’s based on honestly and truth and affection and real love that comes from me as a man. What I had with you was adolescent obsession. It was grown-up fantasies fueled by hormones. It wasn’t based on who I truly am or what I want in this life. I will remember you with fondness, Angie, but only if you leave now and never contact me again.”

Angie gasps. “But Jack. We have so much history.”

“There is no you and me anymore and there hasn’t been in a long time.” He squeezes me to him, then he tilts my face up so I can see him. “Lucy has my heart and will for the rest of my days.”

I think Angie must leave, but I don’t know and I don’t really care. Because Jack is looking at me like I’m everything.

“I’m in love with you,” I blurt out.

His smile is so wide and broad that I swear my chest cracks open like a canyon and pure light bursts from me.

“I’m in love with you.” He kisses the tip of my nose. “Wait right here.” He runs back to his truck and then comes back, his arms loaded down with every cliched Valentine’s thing you can think of. He’s got heart-shaped balloons, stuffed teddy bears, heart-shaped boxes of chocolates, roses.

“It’s our first Valentine’s together. I wanted to do it right.”

I laugh and wipe my eyes on the sleeves of my shirt. “Let’s go inside.”

“Let’s do it. I can cook us dinner we and can watch romantic comedy movies all night if you want,” he says.

“I’d rather order pizza and watch all the Die Hard movies.”

“God, I love you.”