Chapter 1

ONE

Izzy

“For the last time, Liam is not my cousin.”

“If you say so.” Alisa sounds amused.

Behind me, my very nosy cubicle-mate clears his throat, and I swallow my next protest. Given Shaun’s attentiveness to every little thing I do, it’s pretty much a guarantee that he’s eavesdropping on this conversation. I lean back slightly in my chair, and yup—he jerks his beady gaze away from me.

I stand and quickly weave my way through the office cubes until I reach the conference room I frequently use as my escape.

It’s hardly ever occupied, but just my luck—today, there’s some kind of meeting happening. I don’t make eye contact with anyone through the glass windows, walking briskly and hoping it looks like I’m on an important call. I duck into the stairwell near the elevators.

“Why are you breathing like that? Is someone chasing you?” Alisa asks.

“I had to escape my cubicle.”

“Ugh, Shaun again?”

I sigh and lean against the wall. “He isn’t that bad.”

“He totally is that bad,” Alisa counters. “Are you sure you don’t want to come work with me?”

Savannah is right across the bridge from Oakley Island, where I grew up, so I have a lot of friends living in the city, but I met Alisa in a yoga class last month, and she’s been working her way to the top of my friend list ever since. She’s loyal and funny and a tiny bit ridiculous, which feels like the kind of friend everyone needs to have.

“The pay is terrible, and you’re grossly overqualified,” she adds, “but you’d get to eat lunch with me every day, so I’m just saying. Maybe forget you have a graduate degree and apply anyway?”

“Tempting,” I say. “But I think I’ll stick it out here.” Shaun is awful, but I’m at least in the right industry working at the Whitmire Group. Though, it’s not like I’m utilizing my grad degree here, either.

“Suit yourself,” Alisa says. “Now tell me more about your sexy cousin.”

“Alisa! No! That’s the point. Liam and I aren’t blood related. Not on my mom’s side or my dad’s.” I suddenly regret ever confessing my feelings for Liam in the first place. I blame the margarita I drank after dinner last night. Just one, but apparently, that’s enough to loosen my tongue about my long-held crush on my non-cousin. The one I try never to talk about so I can pretend my feelings aren’t real. “His mom is Naomi, Jake’s sister. And Jake is married to?—”

“Eloise,” Alisa finishes for me. “Who is your stepmom’s sister. I got it. I saw the chart you drew on your napkin.”

I don’t bother correcting her. Technically, yes—Merritt is my stepmother. But I’ve never called her that. Probably because fairy tales cemented the idea of stepmothers as evil in my mind, and nothing could be further from the truth.

Merritt and my dad got married when I was seven, and she’s been wonderful and supportive and all the best things for as long as I can remember. I never thought of her as a stepmom. Just—my other mom.

Plus, she came as a package deal that included her two sisters, both of whom also got married and relocated to Oakley Island. I’m lucky to have so much family, even if I do need a chart to explain how we’re all connected.

“But you still grew up calling each other cousins,” Alisa says, and I get the sense she’s enjoying this conversation way too much. “I like it. You’ve got that whole off-limits, forbidden love thing going on. It’s hot.”

“Oh my gosh, do I need to come over there right now?” I say, and Alisa starts to laugh. “Forbidden cousin love is not hot, and that is not what this is.”

“Fine, fine. But actually, you should come over,” Alisa says. “Chuck is in the office today, and he asked about you.”

Alisa and her boyfriend, Derek, have been trying to set me up with Chuck for a while, which is fine. Chuck is cute. Nice. But his unfortunate name aside, there is zero spark between us. The four of us had drinks together a few weeks back, and I just don’t have any interest. Mostly because he’s not Liam, but I’d rather not start up Alisa’s teasing again, so I keep that part to myself.

She’s wrong about Liam anyway. There is no forbidden love happening because it isn’t forbidden, but also because it’s not love. It’s just a one-sided crush—one I’ve held onto for too many years.

“Thanks, but no thanks,” I say. “Chuck is nice, but…”

“I know, I know, no spark,” Alisa says. “I can’t uninvite him from karaoke though. And you promised you’d come, so you can’t back out.”

As unappealing as Christmas karaoke sounded when Alisa first strong-armed me into it, there isn’t enough spiked eggnog in the world to make it sound like fun now that my mind is circling the Liam drain.

But I did promise. And maybe it will be good for me? What cures thoughts of an impossible crush like Christmas karaoke?

“I’ll be there,” I say a little too brightly. “Tomorrow night, right?”

Alisa confirms, promising to text me the address, then we say goodbye, and I end the call.

I can’t stomach going back to my cubicle just yet, so I slump down on the top step, dropping my head to my knees.

I really do need to get over this.

Liam even brought a girlfriend home for family Christmas last year. A serious girlfriend, if my observations were correct. Do I need any more evidence that the two of us are never going to happen?

I close my eyes and force myself to remember the way they looked all snuggled up together on the couch. Holding hands. Even kissing. I mean, technically, I only saw them kiss once , but once was more than enough. My stomach still churns when I remember.

Of course, I’ve always believed Liam had to be dating over the years. He is dateable in all the very best ways. But there’s a difference between knowing Liam had girlfriends and actually having to meet one.

Since last Christmas, the family has gone radio silent on the topic.

Suspiciously silent.

After years of teasing me about my crush and trying to push us together, they’ve just … stopped. And Liam has all but completely disappeared. As far as I know, he hasn’t been home from New York in the past year at all. Fourth of July. Thanksgiving. Birthday dinners. He’s missed them all. Naomi keeps insisting he’s just working a lot, but I’m not an idiot. New York isn’t that far away. This is just my family trying to protect my feelings and sparing me the torture of hearing them say Liam is actually meeting his girlfriend’s family in the Poconos.

Or wherever else it is people go for family holidays.

“He’s probably going to propose,” I say out loud into the empty stairwell, the words echoing off the gray walls.

It isn’t the first time I’ve had the thought. In fact, I’ve been forcing myself to consider it, even going so far as to practice what I’ll say to Liam as soon as I hear the news.

I’m so happy for you both!

Congratulations!

How exciting!

If she happens to disappear under mysterious circumstances, how would you feel about having me as a replacement?

Okay, maybe not that last one. Especially because, if they really are engaged, the next time I see Liam, they’ll probably be together.

Or worse—maybe he’ll bring her to the family gathering and propose to her there, a big public celebration, with all of his family present to share in their joy.

Even Olympic levels of mental training won’t keep me from bursting into tears if Liam proposes to Natasha in front of me.

Taking a few deep breaths, I locate my optimism and dust it off. It’s a little bruised and battered, but it still exists. Come on, optimism, don’t fail me now. It’s Christmas!

I make a mental list of things to be grateful for.

I have a job. It’s just basic admin work, far from my goal of running my own nonprofit, but it’s a good stepping stone, giving me experience I’ll hopefully use down the road.

I have a sweet apartment in the historic district that’s rent-free, thanks to my aunt Sadie. Years ago, this was her place. She bought the building as an investment once she married my Uncle Benedict. He’s got money to spare and loves investing it in property. And also loves giving freely to family members like me—a recent college grad with an entry-level job.

I also have someone to hang out with in this new city. As different as Alisa and I are, she’s fun and easy to be around. Even if she has questionable ideas on what makes a relationship hot?—

“I thought that was you.”

A deep voice—a familiar one—startles me, and I turn to see the last person I would expect to appear in my office stairwell grinning at me in a way that makes my stomach swoop.

“Liam?”