45. Mikhail

I can see Viviana and Dante from the balcony of my bedroom when Raoul calls. "How's the honeymoon?" he asks through the phone.

Phenomenal. Confusing. A mistake.

"Careful, my friend—you're spending too much time with Anatoly. You're starting to sound like him."

"I just wanted to sound casual in case Viviana was around." He waits. "So… is she around?"

"No. She's on a walk with Dante."

Viviana and I spent most of the night twisted in the sheets, but when I opened my eyes this morning, she was already gone. And she's stayed gone.

She and Dante went with Stella to the store to pick up some snacks, they went for a mid-morning swim, and now, they're walking hand in hand down the beach. I'd ask if she's trying to avoid me, but I'd have to be in the same room with her to do that.

And when I'm in the same room with her, I can't think straight.

I turn away from the view and walk into the bedroom. "Are you calling with an update? I can't stay on vacation for-fucking-ever."

"I"m actually surprised you"ve lasted this long."

"Then don"t test my patience," I growl. "Have you dealt with it or not?"

Anatoly and Raoul have kept me updated with a few texts here or there, but otherwise, it's been quiet. For the first time in years, I put my phone down and took a step back from work and the Bratva. It's been nice.

That doesn't mean I'm not ready to get home and give Viviana the peace of mind she deserves.

"It"s been dealt with," Raoul tells me. "You can come home."

"Perfect."

When Viviana and Dante get back from their walk, I"m waiting in the living room. Vivian"s golden hair is wild from the wind and her cheeks are pink. She"s shaking sand out of Dante"s hair and laughing. "That"s what you get for trying to tunnel across the beach like a little mole. Now, you have to take a bath."

Dante starts to groan, but then he sees me. And his face lights up.

I"m so fucked.

It"s all I can think as my son throws himself at me and wraps his arms around my neck.

"Me and Mama saw a crab! It was red and walked on the sand on tiptoes like this." He balances on his toes and walks in a clumsy circle. "Mama wouldn't let me touch it."

"Because your mama is smart. That thing would have pinched your little nose off." I snap two fingers towards his nose and he claps his hands over it and shrieks.

"Bath, mister," Viviana reminds him, swatting him towards the hallway. "Then we'll have dinner."

Dante rolls his eyes, but listens to his mom. A few seconds later, the bathroom door clicks closed.

"Dinner might be in the air," I tell her.

She was heading towards the end of the couch to sit, but she stops and stares at me. "On the plane?"

I nod. "I think it's about time we headed home."

"You don't want to wait until morning?"

"Dante can sleep on the flight," I point out. "And I have some things to take care of."

She tugs her lower lip into her mouth and nods absently. I can see in her eyes that she's a million miles away.

The five feet between us right now is almost too much to handle, so I can't handle the far-off gaze on top of that. I wrap an arm around her waist and haul her against me.

Instantly, some deep, dark beast in my chest relaxes. With her sun-warmed skin against mine, I feel like I can breathe for the first time all day.

"You don't want to go?"

"No, it's not—Well, yeah," she chuckles. "Of course I don't want to go. It's gorgeous here."

"If you like the house, I'll build you one in the city."

She smirks. "Why do I think you're serious?"

Because I am.

Because I'd do almost anything you asked of me without a second thought.

God, I am so fucked.

She sighs. "It's not the house. It's… everything. It's how I feel when I'm here and all the free time we have. Plus, you're different here."

I twist a strand of her hair between my fingers. "I'm not different."

She gestures both hands to me—to us. To the way we're curled together on the couch, my hand in her hair, her head on my chest.

"You just seem more relaxed here." She nuzzles her cheek against my chest. I can feel her warm breath on my skin. "I like seeing this side of you."

I want to deny it, but there's no point. Things have shifted between us over the last few days. Whatever walls were up between us have been heavily damaged, if not destroyed entirely. I mean, she's stroking her thumb over my knee while I hug her to my chest. This feels more intimate than the sex.

It's probably just that we're in a little bubble here. There's no one around except for us and Stella, but she has been making herself very scarce. Here, I'm not wrapped up in the politics of the Bratva. I haven't thought about Trofim's murder in days.

Once we're back to normal life, things will go back to normal.

Maybe that's why I announce, "We'll have to take more vacations. Just the three of us."

Viviana looks up at me with a smile. "Really? You'd want to do that?"

No. Fuck no. This is a business arrangement. I'm not going to get attached. I don't have time for Viviana to be in love with me and I won't be the husband and father she wants.

There's no point getting any closer. It will just fuck everything up.

"Sure." I press my thumb under her chin and tilt her head back for a kiss. She sighs into my mouth and I feel it in my bones. In my balls.

If I don't get up now, we won't be getting up for a while.

I gently push her off and stand up. "We need to pack. I'll call the pilot and we'll leave after Dante's bath."

Viviana looks a little taken aback, but she agrees. Vacation is over.

Within two hours, we're on the plane.

Dante is on one side of me. He's wearing a flannel blanket like a superhero cape around his neck, but his head is resting on my arm. He fell asleep on the car ride to the airport and didn't wake up as I carried him onto the plane.

Viviana tucks her feet up underneath and leans against my other arm. Her breath is warm and even against my shoulder. She smells like vanilla.

Would it be so bad to let them both in? I could be the father Dante needs and the husband Viviana wants. This long weekend proved that. I can be there for them.

But each time I get close to crossing the line, I imagine a life without them.

I imagine standing over yet another set of graves.

I imagine walking through my house and seeing signs of them everywhere; being reminded day in and day out that I once had everything I could ever want… and it was taken from me.

I can't do it again.

I won't.

Once the plane lands, the vacation will be over for good. This person I became, whoever the fuck he is, will be dead and gone.

Viviana readjusts, shifting closer to me and tucking her hand around my elbow. Her fingers dig in, squeezing tight.

Just a few more hours.

Then it's back to business.