32. Viviana

Faces float out of the darkness like steam. Clouds that form and fade away before I can reach them.

Mikhail.

Trofim.

My father.

Matteo.

I sprint away from them, running until my lungs feel like they're going to burst. Every turn I take, another face blocks my path. No matter which way I run, I can't escape.

"Viviana." A chorus of voices calls from the darkness. "Viviana."

I clap my hands over my ears, but the sound isn't coming from the room around me. It's in my head.

Then I hear Dante's voice.

"Mama?"

I open my eyes and he's standing in front of me in his favorite superhero cape. I smile and wave, but he looks right through me.

"Dante?" I kneel down and open my arms to him. "I'm right here."

He spins in a circle, eyes searching the darkness. "Mama?"

"I'm right here. Dante! I'm right?—"

Strong hands grip my shoulders, dragging me back into even deeper shadow. I try to stay where I am, but there's nothing to hold onto.

"Dante!" I scream as the voices call my name. As countless hands grab onto my clothes and my skin, tearing and ripping at me.

But Dante fades into the darkness.

I spin around and ghostly pale faces float above me. Trofim sneers. Matteo is weeping blood, red and thick down his cheeks. My father scowls at me.

Then they launch themselves at me.

I scream, thrashing back and forth to get free.

Then I hear my name again. This time, the voice is a deep, soothing rumble.

"I've got you, Viviana."

Strong hands slide under my shoulder blades and lift me out of bed.

"Put me down," I mumble, still fighting weakly.

I'm so tired that I don't realize what is happening until I'm curled against a warm chest, the smell of mint and cedar wrapped around me.

I blink my eyes open. "Mikhail?"

I'm cradled in his arms, but his jaw is set and firm. He looks angry.

"Put me down," I repeat.

He gives a quick shake of his head. His arms tighten around my body.

Mikhail carries me down the hall and into his room.

His comforter is thrown back like he got up in a hurry. When he lays me down, the mattress is still warm.

I'm on Mikhail's side of the bed.

In Mikhail's room.

I'm painfully aware that the large t-shirt I'm wearing barely reaches my thighs. But that doesn't matter once I watch Mikhail walk across the room to close the door. He's wearing nothing but a pair of black briefs. His body is broad and strong. Muscles ripple with every step. The poetry that could be written about his arms alone could fill several erotic collections.

Heat burns down my body. Both because of Mikhail and his body, but also because he scooped me out of bed and brought me to his room like I was a child. Desire and embarrassment twine together until I couldn't pull them apart even if I wanted to.

Mikhail slides into bed next to me and I sit up. "I can go back to my room."

"Stay." It isn't a question or a command. It's some strange in-between space. The in-between space where Mikhail and I seem to always exist.

"Why?"

"I heard you crying in your sleep." He cushions his head on his arm and looks over at me. "I couldn't let you suffer alone."

I want to tell him that I'm fine. I have bad dreams all the time. I don't need anyone to save me. I can save myself.

Instead, tears burn hot and heavy down my cheeks. I have no idea where it's all coming from, but the tap is on and I can't turn it off.

Without a word, Mikhail grabs me by the waist and curls me against his body. He takes deep breaths and, slowly, my body responds. I inhale and exhale with him until my tears dry and my chest doesn't ache.

Until it's hard to tell where my body stops and his begins.

"Go to sleep, Viviana," he whispers against my neck. "I'll take care of you."

I know it's not true. Anatoly tried to convince me of the same thing and I built an argument against him.

But there is no argument in the world that could convince me not to sink into the warmth of Mikhail's body.

It's been so long since anyone took care of me. So long since there was someone I could count on. I want to count on Mikhail… even if it's only for tonight.

His arms tighten around me, and I snuggle against him.

For the first time in as long as I can remember, I feel safe. I close my eyes and drift to sleep.