Chapter 9

After lunch, I send Beau on his way, then return to my office to sit and stare at my computer screen all afternoon.

It was an accident. It didn't mean anything. It won't happen again.

It's all true. I was asleep and dreaming. Beau probably hasn't gotten laid in a while. Neither of us was fully in control of our bodily reactions. So why did saying the words feel like I was wrenching my heart out of my chest?

By the time seven o'clock rolls around, it's clear I'm wasting my time by staying in the office. Besides, it's Friday and it's been a long week.

I send Beau a quick text message to let him know I'm heading home. He responds with instructions to meet him at the skating rink in Central Park.

Seriously? Skating? I can't remember the last time I put on a pair of skates, and I haven't magically learned how to skate since then either. That won't be a problem for Beau, though. And sure enough, he's wearing a grin a mile wide when I find him on the benches next to the rink.

"Got your skates for you." He hands me the pair of rentals and takes my bag in exchange. He's so giddy with excitement that I can't bear to express my doubts about this whole exercise.

That only lasts until the blades actually hit the ice.

"Jesus! Fuck!" My arms windmill wildly before I manage to grab onto the boards.

Beau's laughter rings through the air. "Still can't skate, huh?"

"I don't know why you think I can!"

"You used to!" He holds out both hands and I carefully let go of the boards to take hold of them.

"No, I've never been able to skate." My knees wobble as Beau takes off backward, dragging me along.

He cocks his head to the side. "But I remember going skating all the time."

"Yeah, and I usually spent half the time on my ass."

He laughs again as we work up to an alarming speed. "Don't worry. I won't let you fall."

I keep a death grip on his arms, solid and steady under my palms. After a loop around the rink, my heart rate begins to settle and my body starts cluing into how to stay upright.

"There you go," Beau says, just loud enough to broach the distance between us. "Relax and feel the ice under you."

"Feel the ice?" I growl. "It feels slippery and dangerous."

"You've got to go with the flow. Bend your knees. Lean into it."

I bend my knees. And the ground gives way underneath me. My feet slide out in opposite directions and my top half pitches forward. I'm seconds away from face-planting on the ice when Beau catches me. He hauls me to him, hard and fast enough that I get the wind knocked out of me. I'm flush against his chest with his arms tight around me like a vise. My hands are pinned between our bodies and my lips end up less than an inch from his. Our breaths mingle in a fog of vapor as we both exhale.

"See? I won't let you fall."

We're so close his words vibrate through the layers of clothing between us. My heart thunders and deep in the pit of my stomach is a yearning so strong it claws at my insides.

I try to push Beau away before I do something I can't take back. He doesn't budge.

"Beau." His name whispers across my lips, more of an exhale than a sound.

His gaze drops to my mouth and for a split second, I'm certain he's going to kiss me. His eyes darken, his lips part, and the tip of his tongue sneaks out. I want him to kiss me. Oh god, I want it more than I've wanted anything in my life. But I can't have him. Beau's not mine to want in that way.

I shove at him harder and he lets me go this time. My feet fly out from under me and I fall to the ice, landing hard on my tailbone. "Ow, goddamn it." Serves me fucking right.