Chapter 28

I fucking love gay sex. Well, I suppose it would be more accurate to say I fucking love sex with Gavin. It's mind-blowing, soul-shaking, heart-breaking how good it is. Every. Single. Time.

And we've had plenty of tests. Every night, most mornings, and full days on the weekend. If Gavin isn't at work then we're naked, swapping orgasms until our balls are wrung out and dry.

I've never had so much sex in my life. And I mean, never.

It's been two weeks since the club. Two weeks of utter bliss and perfection. I'm the happiest I've ever been, waking up with a goofy grin on my face, seeing sunshine and rainbows everywhere I turn. There's only one thing that isn't ideal—okay, two things.

The first is that I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I might've fallen in love with my best friend and discovered that I'm bisexual, but I still have no job, no house, and no prospect for a future. The second is that Gavin keeps waiting for the other shoe to drop. He hasn't voiced his worries out loud, but I see it when he thinks I'm not watching. He catches himself and hesitates sometimes. He pulls away when things get a little too intense. He still thinks this is a phase for me. That I'll come to my senses one day and go home to Georgia.

News flash, Gavin. My home isn't in Georgia anymore. It's right here with you.

So I've got a plan. It's Valentine's Day and what better way to declare my undying love than to cheese the fuck out and totally embarrass him?

"Where are we going?" Gavin asks as I shuffle him into a cab.

"You'll see."

He casts me a suspicious look but doesn't protest. It's a short ride across the neighborhood to the edge of Central Park.

"We're going to the park?" Gavin huddles into his coat, shoulders hunched against the windy February night. "You know it's freezing out, right?"

"Yeah, yeah, I've got it covered." I grab his hand and tuck it into the crook of my elbow. He leans into me, resting his head on my shoulder. It's such a simple gesture, arguably more about sharing body heat than anything else, and yet it makes my heart swell so big in my chest it's hard to breathe.

We don't have to go far. The horse and carriage I ordered are waiting for us, decked out in swinging lanterns, garlands of flowers, and fur-lined blankets. Our driver greets us with a flourishing bow that sends his cloak fluttering behind him.

Gavin's dumbstruck, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. "Seriously?"

"Seriously." I take both of his hands in mine. "Happy Valentine's Day."

Gavin bursts into laughter. "Oh my god, we've become a tourist cliché."

"Oh come on, don't tell me you've never wanted to do this before."

His expression goes shy. "Shut up," he mutters with chagrin. "How did you know?"

"Because I know you." I plant a quick kiss on his forehead before handing him up into the carriage.

The oversized lap blanket is actually heated and there's a foot warmer for us to rest our feet on. The flask of brandy I ordered is sitting on a pillow, waiting for us. And when we're all cuddled together, it's downright cozy.

"Warmer now?" I ask, tucking Gavin under my arm and into my side.

He snuggles in closer. "Yeah."

The driver climbs into his seat and we take off at a slow walking pace. There are speakers hidden somewhere, playing strains of soft music, accompanied by the clopping sound of hooves. The brandy is sweet and spicy on our breaths. Under the blanket, Gavin twines his fingers with mine.

This feels so good, so right, that I can't believe it's taken me this long to figure it out. All those years wasted when we could've had this. It's a shame, but one that I'm going to spend the rest of my life making up for.

"I love you," I whisper into Gavin's ear.

He goes still, like he's holding his breath.

"I know you don't believe me, but that's okay. I'll keep saying it until you do."