Chapter 34

EMbrACING THE UNWRITTEN

34

We pull up for air after what seems simultaneously forever and not nearly enough time. His forehead rests against mine, and we're both gasping, as if we'd been submerged underwater and only just now broke through the surface. Which, considering how he arrived into my world after a splash in a lake, is almost poetic.

"Is this real?" I pant, still drowning in the depth of his gaze, the warmth of his breath mingling with mine.

"It's as real as you want it to be," Killian assures me, his voice steady but laced with vulnerability. "I'm here, Sugar, I'm not going anywhere."

"Can I just say?" I run my fingers through his hair because now that I've started, I can't stop. "How much I appreciate you being here with me?"

Killian grins as he drops a kiss on my temple. "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else, Spoon."

We stand there for a moment, lost in each other's gaze until the growl of my stomach interrupts our tender little bubble. This morning, in my haste to get to the house-showing appointment in time, I skipped breakfast.

"Someone's hungry." Killian chuckles.

Taking my hand, he leads me toward the kitchen.

Killian collects ingredients from the cupboards—which have never been better stocked. I can't help but salivate, not about the food, as I admire every ripple of muscles under the soft fabric of his sweater.

"If I ask you something…" I say in a casual tone. "Do you promise to give me an honest answer?"

"Of course," he replies, opening the fridge.

"Did we… you know"— I pause, trying not to lose my cool like I do every time I ask this question— "did we have sex in your world?"

Killian freezes, half bent over the fridge, before slowly turning to face me.

"You're obsessed with that question."

"And you're obsessed with not answering me."

He stares at me for a long beat. "No, we didn't."

I raise an eyebrow. "Then tell me how the kitchen scene ended without us having sex?"

"Easy." He stalks toward me, a feral glint in his eyes. Killian grabs me by the waist and sets me on the kitchen counter, wedging himself between my legs. "There's a lot of things a couple can do without having sex."

"Like what?"

"Like that night when I set you on the counter like this." His words are soft and deliberate. "And then I kissed you real good until you were ready to drag me to the bedroom and scream my name."

My heart hammers against my chest, a rapid drumbeat echoing his every word. At that moment, the world narrows down to the space between us, or lack thereof. And I curse again my stupid alarm clock for making me miss that night.

"You mean I was ready to scream, Oswald, oh, Oswald…"

He bites my earlobe in response. "You're such a tease, Gertrude."

I try to preserve some functioning brain cells as I ask, "And what happened afterward?"

"I left."

"Why would you leave?"

Killian trails featherlight kisses down my neck, shrugging. "Maybe because I like a slow burn."

"Are you talking to me in romance tropes again?"

More kisses and another small shrug. "Seems appropriate."

"So you just ripped my shirt for sport and then left me hot and bothered?"

"Yep."

"You're the worst, St. Clair. And you owe me buttons."

He throws his head back and roars with laughter. "Same words you yelled after me when I left your house. See?" He affectionately taps my nose. "Different world, same you."

"And that day at the lake, before I pulled you here?" I frown. "We were both naked."

"Just some innocent skinny dipping."

"So we've never…"

"Nope…"

"Why?"

Killian drops one last kiss on my collarbone and then takes a step back. "You're not the only one who likes to take things slow."

"But you're a guy."

"So?"

"So, in my experience, guys have been mostly interested in just having casual sex with me, to then disappear once they got what they wanted or ditch me the second I started wanting more. And before I met you, I made a promise to myself not to get naked with anyone again at least until I was engaged."

Killian raises his eyebrows, probably because I've just asked him about the last time we were together in his world at the lake when we both were very much naked.

"The lake thing doesn't count. I was behaving out of character in your world. Doing things I'd never do in real life."

"What things?"

"Taking risks, acting without thinking of the consequences."

"And you didn't like that version of yourself?"

"I did, but it's not sustainable. And I'm not saying you have to propose to me, but that's why I wanted us to take things slowly. I really wanted to get to know you, for you to get to know yourself and then me before you decided this is what you want."

Killian plants his palms firmly on either side of my hips and with a goofy smile, he asks, "I couldn't help but notice your use of the past tense there…"

I blink.

"Wanted to take things slow… you have a new pace in mind now, Sugar Spoon?"

"The way you're kissing me, Oswald, I am ready to drag you to my bedroom and scream your name."

His grin is teasing. "Not enough time for that now, Sugar, I have to be at work in less than an hour."

"That's plenty of time."

He flashes me a searing stare. "Not for what I have in mind."

My toes curl in my shoes. "Can't—" I swallow, mouth dry. "Can't your patrons wait an extra half an hour to be served their beers?"

"Not today. Mitch, the owner, has asked me to be there early. He says he needs to talk to me."

"About what?"

Killian shrugs. "I don't know."

"It'd better be good if it's making you skip first-time sex with your girlfriend."

"Girlfriend, uh?" He pulls one of my curls then sets it free like he always does. "When you put it like this, nothing he has to say will ever be that good. But I promised him I'd be there early, and I don't want to let him down."

I cup his cheek. "And you shouldn't. The way you always show up for those you care about is one of the things I love the most about you."

"Rain check?" The way he says it, he might've as well said, "Undress for me, Sugar."

I simply nod, mouth dry.

Smiling wickedly, he turns his face in my hand and kisses my palm before pulling back. "Now, if you could please move your pretty ass away from my counter, I could make both of us lunch and get to work on time."

Instead of complying, I wrap my ankles behind his knees. "I don't know." I suck in my lower lip. "I like where I am a bit too much."

He chuckles, the rumble in his throat vibrating against my skin. "Oh, is that so?" His hands find their way to my waist, fingers dancing just beneath the hem of my shirt. "Well, Sugar, as much as I appreciate your… dedication to this particular spot on my counter." He lifts me clear off it like I weighed nothing. "I can't let you starve."

With that, he sets me on my feet with a playful firmness that leaves no room for further protest, though his eyes sparkle with the silent promise of continuation at a later time.